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Most racist person you know: "NYC has fallen. We should evacuate and comfort our loved ones while we still have time. A Muslim won the primary."

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THE GRIFTER LIFE CYCLE:

Grifter Nebula - Grifter is young, plucky, full of Idealogical zeal and original ideas. They understand the modern media landscape, and see a gap. This is Steven Crowder in his "change my mind" era.

Grifter Star - Grifter successfully gathers enough social capital to form a self-sustaining media presence. They no longer need to scrounge for listeners/followers/readers. They've found a niche and they can stick to it, but there's work to be done. They make enough money to be comfortable, but not enough that their decisions are entirely driven by profit. This is 99% of conservative YouTubers. Jordan Peterson is here.

Grifter Giant - A breakthrough. The grifter successfully enters the mainstream. Viral success, a radio show, a pastorship at a church, a memeable interview on FOX has brought a massive, massive audience to the grifter. The grifter now has real social power. The things the grifter says have a real chance of influencing actual political policy. The realm of Andrew Tate, Candice Owens post daily wire, and Alex Jones just post 9/11.

Grifter Planetary Nebula - A rare stage, not every grifter achieves this state. Most skip directly to the break point. Here, the grifter IS the discourse. This is Rush Limbaugh at the height of his career, Elon Musk during his time in the white house, every preacher at the height of the satanic panic. Politicians pray at your altar. They come to YOU, not the other way around. Not just the fringe weirdos either. Actual, respectable people have to factor you in. Ends when the grifter dies of lung cancer at 75.

BREAK POINT - CHOSE A PATH:

Grifter Black Hole - After years of dominating the grifting narrative, copycats emerge. The grifter begins to drown in a media landscape chock full of modern impressions of their schtick. The grifter loses relevance among the sleek, exciting, copycats, and is forced to say increasingly insane shit to stay relevant. Or is frankly seen as an embarrassing relic of a previous age, Associating with the grifter at this point COSTS social capital, and usually isn't worth it. This is Elon Musk post white House, Milo Yianopolus post defending pedophilia.

Grifter White Dwarf - Grifter quietly fades into obscurity. She took everything in the divorce, and your expenses are pretty modest. The grifter can get by on the core audience they built up over the years, slowly drinking themselves to death as they podcast from the Florida suburbs. You are crashing on Andrew Tates couch, but he doesn't put you in videos.

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I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

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permission to lib out?

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bonus second terrible comic

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I tap the mic. “Most people don’t want to crawl down your chimney and steal your dog.”

the crowd murmurs uncertainly.

“If someone wants to steal your dog,” I continue, “there are easier ways to do that. They don’t have to crawl into a chimney.”

Murmuring intensifies. People stand in their seats and begin to boo.

“People disguising themselves as chimney sweepers and stealing dogs is not a rational fear,” I shout. “Literally anyone could steal your dog. Why make sweeping chimneys illegal?”

“I have a list of chimney sweeps who stole dogs from parks!” Someone yells, throwing a shoe.

“You seriously think no chimney sweepers could possibly ever steal from a home?” Another cries.

“Only a dog thief would even want to crawl into a chimney to begin with!” Says a third.

A single tear rolls down my cheek. They are all so fucking stupid

This is a metaphor

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Do you think we could use him as a lock pick

I bet we could

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IT FUCKIN YURI DAAAAAAAAAAAY

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currently running the Sweetie Pie Challenge where i dont hit anyone with a tire iron as hard as i can for seven days

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