sketchbooksb

[sketchbooksb]

Permanent

You know when we got those matching tattoos? It was a surprise, and beforehand I told you to keep the day free for me. You didnt seem happy about what I'd planned, but got it done anyway. Maybe that wasn't the best idea I've had, to push someone into getting something to represent me, as if you'd be interested in it. You got my name, and then you left when it was my turn to get it done. I was sat there, alone (other than the artist) and felt like a fool. I was getting your name tattooed on me and it felt wrong. When you left, it upset me, and I've never let it go. The reason I wanted to get the matching tattoo in the first place was because the previous year, on Christmas Eve, I cried my eyes out thinking that you didn't care about me anymore. This was after seeing that you'd got a matching tattoo with someone else and I was heartbroken. That was the year you broke up with your ex-husband and was high on freedom, getting tattoos, drinking and partying - I felt left out, unimportant. I pretended I was happy for you, but really I was jealous of your friends because they got to be close to you, to hug you, to get tattoos with you. I felt betrayed, and that feeling has always sat in the corner of my heart. I wish I knew how to let it go, but you're my mam and you'll always be a part of me, written on my skin, ever-lasting, permanent.

[sketchbooksb]

The greatest love story ever told 🍔❤️🍟 #burgerandfries #burgerandchips #tattoo #america #apprentice #cute #burger #fries #friesbeforeguys #america #innoutburger #macdonalds thank you @_loumiller__ ! Xx

[sketchbooksb]

This is the face of someone who is jealous of my sweeties 🤨😣🍬🙄🥧😔😪 #jealous #canihaveonemama #jelly #jellybaby #doggo #pupper #woof #sadface #puppyeyes #puppydogeyes #gimme #marleymoo #marleyandme

[sketchbooksb]

Classic Mojito, with Watermelon Germain hanging in the back 🍹😏🍹 #nuthatch #nuthatchstockton #thenuthatch #cocktails #classic #watermelon #mojito #watermelongermain #mint #havana #rum (at The Nuthatch - Stockton)

[sketchbooksb]

Picked some wild flowers for the office 🌼😁🌼😁🌼 #wildflowers #wallflower #wild #flowers #pretty #dainty #office #freshlypicked #flowerpicking #daisies #wilddaisies #probablynotdaisies #tryingtobecute #cutenessachieved

[sketchbooksb]

Darlington is quite pretty tbf 🏦 #darlo #darlington #town #darlotown #towncentre #sidestreet #alleyway #alley #alleycat #omalleythealleycat #cobbles #brickbuilding #bollards #england #british #northern #northeast #uk #pretty #oldtown

[sketchbooksb]

The walk to work isn't too bad 🍁💚☺️🌳🍂 #autumn #autumncolours #river #trees #brook #stream #darlington #pretty #morning #walk #leaves #orangeandgreen

[sketchbooksb]

Babushka 👵 #katebush #babushka #yaya #oldwoman #marley #marleymoos #tuckedin #goodnight #wrappedup #piginablanket #buginarug #snug #comfy #cosy #bedtime #nanight #marleymoos #funnydog #doggo #doge #pupper #springador

[sketchbooksb]

Redcar Street 🌅🏢🏠🏬🌅 #redcar #seaside #street #terraced #block #houses #redcarbeach #blackandwhite #symmetry #regentcinema (at Regent Cinema Redcar)

[sketchbooksb]

Anyone else think Marley might be part Weimeraner?? 🤔😲🐶 Marley on left pics! #breed #dogbreed #notsure #mix #springer #lab #weim #mongrel #whatareyoumarley #odddoggo #doggo #searchingforanswers #rescuedog

[sketchbooksb]

Disposable

When you're not given an explanation you're left to speculate, this has happened twice where I've ended up confused and doubting myself, my worth, my abilities, my personality... What if I was actually shit at my job and didn't know it? What if I offended people and didn't know it? What if I washed one two many pots when I should have made someone else do it? What if I didn't wash enough pots? What if I was being too harsh? What if I wasn't harsh enough? What if I worked too hard, put too much effort in, stayed back too many times, over worked myself and made myself ill, but worked through the pain and smiled too much? Or had the audacity to have a pre-booked holiday? ..... I'll never know what made them kick me out without a thank you. These thoughts play daily in my head. I make myself ill with over thinking, anxious and irritated, not wanting to leave the house. I apply to jobs that I start to doubt I can do. I lower my expectations, my standards, and feel like I'm 16 again searching for anyone who will take me on and help me. I feel like a disposable body. I might as well be disposed of, as I'm clearly no use to anyone.

[sketchbooksb]

A selection of pics we didn't post, looking back now that we're home 😣💔 #byeusa #seeyouagain #home #vacation #holiday #vegas #losangeles #lalaland #lasvegas #bellagio #sunset #selfie #fremont

[sketchbooksb]

My little #polaroid #instax snaps from #USA 🌃📸🇱🇷🍔 struggled to remember to use it often unfortunately! #snaps #pics #photos #minis #instaxmini #usa #vacation #trip #holiday #holidayphotos

[sketchbooksb]

They also had a Dino/Gorilla (?) park at the back 😂🦖🦍 #kingkong #sortof #metalsculptures #sculpturepark #dinopark #dinosaurs #trex #rawrr #xd #daftboy #nevada #ghosttown #calico #lookatthatview #nevadadesert #mountains #hotday #peggysues #peggysuesdiner #yermo

[sketchbooksb]

Forgot to post when we went here! 🌭📸🍔🎼🍟☕ #peggysues #peggysuesdiner #diner #50sdiner #peggysues50sdiner #ghosttown #nevada #california #enroute #roadtrip #burgersandfries #cute #catclock #dinermenu #iconic #famous

[sketchbooksb]

We had fun in #madametussauds 😂🎬 this boy makes me laugh 😂📸 #hollywood #losangeles #madametussaudshollywood #waxfigures #wax #muchreal #solifelike #zacefron #masterchief #mj #jackiechan #killbill #umathurman #thor

[sketchbooksb]

Last #IHOP before we leave 😣🥓🥞🍳 #wewentfourtimes #ihop #breakfast #ihopbreakfast #cupcakepancakes #sprinkles #pancakes #bacon #eggs #hashbrowns #ham #sausages #coffee #drpepper #yum #thanksamerica #usa #fatties #bigbreakfast #mostimportantmeal