skill-has-nothing-to-do-with-it

[skill-has-nothing-to-do-with-it]

When it comes to accomplishing my dreams my biggest obstacle is my lack of discipline. I know I’m not the only one with this issue so here’s some motivation

[skill-has-nothing-to-do-with-it]

March 30, 2019

My earliest memory of gaming was watching my older brother play something on the N64. I wasn’t even old enough to walk so I layer next to him on a navy blue blanket I still haveI remember how vibrant the colors were, how I’d never seen anything so odd yet interesting and how much fun my brother was having. Since then video games have been in every step of my life.

In fact the progression of my life can be mapped out by console. N64 up to pre k, the Wii marks the beginning of elementary school, the Ps2 for the middle and the DS for the end, I primarily played the Xbox 360 for middle school, during high school I played considerably less; however, I played ps4 during and today I have a pc (hail to the master race 😛).

The most important period of my gaming life was middle school. During middle school I wouldn’t spend hours playing games. I would spend consecutive days with no sleep playing with my best friends. I began just messing around in halo 3. After a good month of playing, I started scheduling out playing times and grinding multiplayer matches for a good rank. It was mentally exhausting but I loved to do it. I remember it being the challenge I was looking for. Fast forward a year and I was doing the same thing on Call of Duty Bo2. The only difference was I had found a group of people who loved to do the same thing as me. A group of people I couldnt find in my small town.

I remember my friend told me about Faze and Optic gaming and how they made these montages of them playing call of duty. I watched one Faze teamtage (team montage for those who don’t know) and was immediately inspired to do the same. About a week later while me and the same friend were trying to get some clips (gameplay for a montage) he told me something that changed my life forever. He told me that these teams make money playing competively and making gaming videos. I knew from that day that was I wanted to with my life. I didn’t know how to do it and I didn’t care how I just knew that playing competitively for money would be the only job I would be happy doing.

I tried to tell the closest people to me about my dreams and aspirations to no avail. In their eyes my dream was a pipe dream. This broke my heart. After I graduated I told my friends we couldn’t be friends anymore and gave my Xbox to my cousin. During high school I hid my dreams. If you asked, I’d tell you what you wanted to hear or what I thought sounded good. This made my mind split in two and I couldn’t handle it. I smoked a lot of weed, started a drinking habit and acted out. Spiraling out of control only got me into rehab which didn’t help. When I got out it was like I never went to rehab. I doubled my usage.

I was like this until February 22nd 2018. The day I got hit by a car. I got two fractures in my knees, another two in my pelvis and a lot of pain killers. When I was laying in my hospital bed trying to fully grasp the situation I realized I was living on borrowed time and need to figure things out. Again I reached to drugs, but not because I was hiding my truest self. This time I completely forgot the true self that I was hiding and didn’t know what else to do. Luckily I made it back into rehab and was reunited with myself.

In rehab I was exposed to the philosophy that the drugs weren’t the problem. So what is the problem? The problem is I have a dream and I haven’t chased it.

Cool story right? But why am I telling you this? I’m telling you this so you know you’re not the only one who has a dream that has yet to be chased. You’re not the only one with a long way to go. You’re not alone my friend. I’ve know my dream for more than four years and I’m starting to chase it today.

It’s never too late...

- JB