skincrime - Tumblr blog

[skincrime]

bad bad bad night yesterday and still going REMOVE MY HANDS FROM MY BODYYYY

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cw tmi, gross, pubic hair

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this is kinda gross but does anyone else w trichtillomania just go to fucking TOWN on their bush w nothing but a pair of tweezers

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[picking at my scabs] heehee hoohoo texture be gone. surely there will be no repercussions

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i need to stop picking at my face but the problem is theres Textures On There and i would prefer if there Werent

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i rlly fucked up this time. some spots on my body i Know i should Never touch or mess with bc they’re so delicate and sensitive and picking at them even like once will just cause those spots to just. explode and fester w extremely painful breakouts or swelling or just bad shit. 

i messed w one of those spots and i regret everything. i squeezed at some bumps on my lips that were prob harmless and completely normal and i didn’t even break the skin and i was like okay nvm and went back to picking elsewhere. but hours later those spots i tried to mess w on my lips got completely swollen and they Did turn into actual blemishes of some sort. they look like large cold sores (i think?? i honestly never get those so i’m not rlly sure what a cold sore is exactly) are very painful and noticeable. they’re bothering me A LOT and i’m tempted to mess w em again esp now that they Look destructible but i KNOW that would only end in disastrous results and cause me much more pain.

and idk why but i’m like extra anxious about these new bumps bc they do look rlly bad and they hurt and are very uncomfortable and they’re unlike any other weird skin reaction i’ve gotten as a result from my picking. i guess maybe i’m worried that i might need to see a doctor or something if this doesn’t go away soon... or like what if the skin on my lips Never goes back to the way it was before? did i cause permanent damage to my lips? idk.... but i just feel Really gross and stupid now bc i did this.

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the destruction has been preeeeetty bad this past week... for a while i had thought that my picking urges had died down to a rlly good point but i guess that didn't last long 😔

i Still haven't found a psychologist to talk with about this shit jesUS CHRIST I NEED TO

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TMI HEALTH PROBLEM NOT RELATED TO MY SKIN BUT RATHER MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM

I CAN'T PEE???????? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK???????????? I HAVE TO GO BUT I CAN'T??????? HOW WHAT WHYYY

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would literally pay money to have someone cut off my fingers and/or skin me alive rn

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had a momentary urge earlier for me to take a bunch of closeup photos of my worst picking spots on my body... just cause? 

idk part of me thinks that it could potentially be... reassuring for other ppl w skin picking problems similar to mine? to let them know that they’re not alone? or that... other ppl like me have it much worse than they might have it? bc... well. i mean, i don’t go searching for other ppl’s graphic photos of their picking scars to compare to mine so i don’t actually know what a typically “bad case” looks like? like where does my situation fall on that spectrum? is mine “average” compared to others? or is mine like super super super bad and fucked up and like should be treated as an emergency??? i don’t know!! 

but... ghghghhh idk i guess i just thought that the idea of me sharing my situation could benefit Someone? or provide Some kind of positive effect to... someone? myself? idek. it could just be a pointless effort and all i’d accomplish is oversharing Extreme tmi to whoever is unlucky enough to stumble upon the images and make them extremely uncomfortable or disgusted. oh and of course, humiliate myself in the process, as i frequently tend to do so!

.....anyway... one way another, i’ll prob take photos of myself at some point but i might just keep em private and share em w doctors and shit idk. also... it could just be a terrible idea to begin with since some of the absolute Worst areas on my body that i’ve fucked up the most are intimate spots... like it wouldn’t be Impossible to take photos of my chest w/o showing nip.... but tbh i kinda feel like if i were gonna show how bad my chest situation is like i Should show the whole dang thing. cause it’s... the whole fucking zone. and Especially the fleshy booby parts and the areolae. 

and honestly, i kinda wish that i could show someone (like literally Anyone) these private and intimate parts of my body. whether it just be one of those super comfortable platonic moments between friends (....which i’ve never experienced lmao but i see it happen in tv shows and shit) or being thoroughly and carefully examined by a good doctor or, fuck, a sensual moment w another person who’s attracted to me in any way. like i overshare a fuck ton about myself online when i talk about myself and whatnot and i Know i do that bc i’m desperately lonely and crave emotional intimacy w ppl bc i’m literally dying of intimacy-starvation..... and fuck. i wanna overshare Even More than what i already overshare through words. i wanna overshare my whole physical being. i want ppl to see my body. i’m... oddly confident about my body nowadays (despite my extreme lack of confidence in literally every other aspect of myself). like i don’t feel as disgusted by my body as i used to when i was growing up. like i don’t care about my fatness or my body shape or my curves or scars or acne or stretch marks or whatever (i’m stiiiill a little shy about the body hair but i’m working on it!)

UGH. WHATEVER. TL;DR I WANT PPL TO SEE MY BODY BC I’M A SLUT FOR POSITIVE ATTENTION AND MAYBE PRAISE if i’m lucky

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mom voice thats cause youre always on that damn toilet

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"Why do you pick at your skin, that must be so painful."

"Haha yeah it is :)"

"So stop it."

"Haha I cannot :)"

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im at work and i STILL can't control my urge to pick and touch and scratch. like it's So Bad im barely getting any work done and i feel physically disgusting

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it just keeps getting WORSE!!!!! jesus christ i need to find someone to help me but i still dont even know what kind of professional i should look for!!!! fuuuck me

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dear god make me STOP

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my fingers hurt lmao

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