slashermoonlight

[slashermoonlight]

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

[slashermoonlight]

So help me god if I ever seen anyone so much a breathe something about Gaiman’s supposed autism or good omen’s cancellation again I am turning off your internet. This shit i why the first victims who came out only felt like they could go on a fucking radfem TERF podcast of all places. You disgusting ghouls need to keep your whining to the group chats and shut the fuck up. Fandom is progressive this fandom is activism that and it’s about david tenant getting railed more than it is helping real flesh and blood victims of SA fuck all of you

[slashermoonlight]

what if every time dean dies, sam starts humming “heat of the moment” like he’s still hoping he could just wake up with dean still alive would that be fucked up or what

[slashermoonlight]

"mr wayne?"

@modharvest drew the last panel !! I give you the collab of the century or whatever <3

[slashermoonlight]

I hate the US so fucking much. A UN resolution wouldn’t even do anything, the US would rather invade The Hague than stop crushing communism, but it’s still so fucking disgusting that this state and Israel are holding Cuba hostage against the whole world

[slashermoonlight]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[slashermoonlight]

tfw you have a reputation to maintain but a sparkly alien keeps trying to become friends with you 😔✨️

[slashermoonlight]

PETER JACKSON PLEASE GIVE US THIS SCENE. WE NEED IT 😭

[slashermoonlight]

lotr but nobody knows anything about the other races

Pippin thinks Legolas is a woman

Boromir is convinced that the hobbits are all 15 max

Everyone thinks that Merry and Pippin are twins, except for Legolas, who is convinced the hobbits are quadruplets

Sam thinks that Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas don't have to eat to survive

Legolas doesn't mention things he sees or hears because he thinks the others have noticed them too and just assumes they have a plan

Pippin complains that he is hungry and Legolas just gives him a handful of grass. Pippin is so confused that he just takes it, and now Legolas tries to figure out what hobbits can eat by just giving them random shit, like

Things the hobbits have accepted and likely eaten later (a list by legolas)

-Grass - Leaves

-Stones - a hair tie

-A feather - one of Gimli's shoes

The hobbits and Gimli just assume that this is what elves eat

[slashermoonlight]

One day in July, Anas had gone to inspect his home and their family home because they were displaced into a tent and were hoping to move back. However, when he arrived the occupation fired at him from planes and hit him directly on his feet. He was buried under rubble and Anas' injuries were extensive. Thankfully, his friend was able to rescue him and take him to the hospital, where only the bone in his leg was intact, and the remaining tissue was extensively damaged.

At the hospital, Anas received reconstructive surgery. The doctor performed 12 reconstructive operations, transferring tendons, connecting nerves, and building muscle and skin from transplants from his hip. He was spared from amputation thanks to the surgeon, however the damage to the nerves and tissues was unable to be completely treated due to lack of resources.

Although Anas has received some treatment and surgeries since his injury in July, he requires more extensive treatment abroad where they have the resources to treat him properly and possibly do an ankle transplant. Anas is a father to a young girl, and wants to be able to walk again and play with his daughter more than he can now.

[slashermoonlight]

i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes

[slashermoonlight]

lotr/the hobbit incorrect quotes

part 3, i do not intend to stop

*three hunters at night*

Legolas: i love you Gimli

Gimli: yeah, i love you too

*silence*

Legolas: we both love you as well, Estel

Aragorn: thanks, i was starting to feel left out

— — — —

Bard: you know, i wish you would just admit that you made a mistake

Thranduil, stirring his coffee with passion: i PREFERE it with salt

— — — —

Pippin, excited: hey Boromir, we made you a friendship bracelet!

Merry, also excited: *showing boromir a very ugly, yet made with love bracelet*

Boromir: Yeah, you know… i’m not really jewellery person…

Pippin: oh… it’s okay…

Merry: it’s fine, you don’t have to wear it…

Boromir: No. I’m gonna wear it forever, back off.

— — — —

Legolas: whoops-

Aragorn: whoops? WHOOPS? We are far past the ‘whoops’ situation! ‘Whoops’ is but a distant speck in the review mirror! We are firmly in the ‘oh fuck’ territory and i expect you to ACT LIKE IT!!

[slashermoonlight]

What most elves thinks it’s like talking to the trees:

Silvan: mighty oak tree, is there some trouble of which you would like to warn us?

Tree: no, my kind silvan. There is no darkness of which that can cause you harm.

What a silvan talking to a tree is actually like:

Legolas, cackling, landing on a tree branch: babe, you’ll never believe what happened!

Tree, lighting up and shaking their leaves: Legolas, my good bitch! I got news!

[slashermoonlight]

bruce wayne fans watching him be reduced to a shitty abusive emotionless father/mentor and retaining little to none of his personality traits and morals for the 6372737282 time in a row (they’re running out of ways to defend him)

[slashermoonlight]

A moonlit hotel room, just him and the devil 🩸🦇

[slashermoonlight]

Life has been busy so I STILL haven’t finished this drawing 😭 so….

ANOTHER WIP POST XD

I will try to finish soon…..

Also yes I finished Children’s Childrens Crusade first cus he’s my favorite (so far) shut up 💀

[slashermoonlight]

these two statements back to back make me laugh every single time i watch it. what an apt description