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[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

The Iron Fan and the Man Who Wields It

For @kitty-kat-ty, from @otomehideout-indecentconfessions 

She wasn’t surprised when the villagers rounded in on her at that tavern. How could she be? She had somehow known that seeing her and Lord Nobunaga in public at a time of war would incur their anger. Yet their words… Whore. Harlot. How she spread her legs to Lord Nobunaga to get his favor. The words hurt. Whatever he said or did may have alleviated the pain for a few moments but not more.

That was why the night before he left for the front she had stopped him from taking her to his bed. He hadn’t objected. He hadn’t asked her why. Instead he pulled her close, hands in her hair taking her lips in a slow passionate kiss. “I will return to you. I swear it. And then you won’t be able to escape me.” 

She had nodded and smiled then but really, she was planning to leave before he returned. She had made sure no one found out. Especially dodging Lord Mitsuhide’s keen eye had been a challenge but somehow, she managed it. A few weeks after Lord Nobunaga had departed from the front, one dark night she prepared the bundle of my belongings. She wore the hakama she had originally arrived with and a cloak to cover her features. The time she had spent in his castle served her well: she knew the quickest way out and just the right path to take out of Owari and back to Kyoto. She walked through small paths and shortcuts but when she was about to enter the inn where she had her horse stashed, it began to rain. The rain poured down soaking her as she tried to make her way to the nearby temple for shelter.  

However, her arm was soon seized in a vice like grip. “Where do you think you’re going?”

She had started to struggle but when that voice came, she stilled. “L-Lord Nobunaga?’’ She turned to face him slowly, her eyes drawn to his face. He was soaked through, his armor and hair sticking to him and she could tell from his shivering he was shaking from cold. She gestured to the temple at the distance and he hauled her to his arms simply making his way to it swiftly. She struggled wanting to be let down but his grip only tightened. She spoke again “Milord I can walk-“ 

The voice that came in response to her statement was sharp,cutting. “Silence” 

She closed her mouth and simply let him carry her to the temple. Somehow when he set her down to the ground beneath the cover of the roof, things couldn’t get more awkward. For long endless moments all that could be heard was the rain and their breathing. Soon enough they were freezing. Kitty’s teeth started chattering and, without a word, Nobunaga pulled off his cloak setting it on her shoulders. It was soaked and it smelled like him but she clutched it closer, sneaking a peek at him.

He wasn’t looking at her. His hair was matted and dark from the rain, himself seemingly a stain in the darkness. His eyes were focused somewhere far away and she was marveling at his profile when he suddenly turned, his grey eyes capturing her gaze as he slowly stepped closer.  She moved back only succeeding in letting her back hit the wall. Nowhere to escape this, escape him. The inevitability of how very much she wanted him and how much it scared her. Nobunaga reached out, fingers tracing her jaw, his thumb teasing at her lips. He leaned in slowly, by degrees and,when he was an inch from her where there was scarcely a molecule of space between them, he whispered “Do you fear me?”

His voice wasn’t like him. It was raw and sharp but not sharp with anger. Sharp with restrained emotion. What emotion she couldn’t name. But when her answer came it was quiet but sure. “No…” He didn’t need any further words.

His lips took hers slowly, deliberately tasting her. Tea and jasmine. That's what she always tasted like to him. With just a hint of sweetness way more addicting than konpeito. His hands were on her face keeping it angled to his as he deepened the kiss, his tongue thrusting into her mouth with the assurance that she always accepted him. This time was no exception. If anything, her hands were at his hair tugging him closer, her mouth more urgent on his.  He came close, way too close to not finding her there when he returned. He knew that.

 Normally, his desire would be tempered, taking care not to frighten her. Not here. Not this time. His mouth turned demanding, feral as his fingers tugged at his cloak covering her then hers letting the soggy material fall to the stone floor. His hands traced the shape of her breasts through her kimono, the groan of pleasure escaping her once he teased and plucked at a nipple through the material like music to his ears. More. He had to have more of her. All of her. His fingers made quick work of the material while his lips and teeth found her skin, tasting her. Marking her. The further down he went, the more bites he left. She didn’t seem to care,his name all that left her lips along with moans and whimpers. He took her nipple in his mouth sucking and letting a large hand push the cloth further aside to cup her other breast, fingers pinching at her other nipple. He was halfway to getting on his knees while she was half naked and shivering with pleasure. This wasn’t the way he imagined it or wanted it and yet… He couldn’t stop. He moved to her other nipple while both hands worked to loosen her hakama pants and let them drop. Undergarments were slowly pulled down and that was when Kitty opened her eyes, hazy and confused.

“M..Milord Nobunaga...What-”

He spoke again before she could continue. “Ask me to stop. Tell me you fear me. Tell me you still wish to run. This time and only this time, I will heed your decision.” He waited. His eyes didn’t leave hers, dark as the storm clouds covering the sky, his eyes themselves a storm about to break. But Kitty didn’t want to run. Not anymore.  

Instead of speaking, she let her undergarments fall, her color high with the flush of embarrassment and lust. Nobunaga stared into her face as he lowered himself to his knees, his voice changing. “Spread your legs.” Kitty swallowed and did, not realizing why. Her answer came when she felt his hot breath on her wetness, then his tongue parting her folds. Reflexively, her hand reached to his hair tugging. His lips formed into a smile as he parted her folds, his tongue tracing her opening then teasing her clit. She groaned, both hands at his hair. The pain made him growl as he moved, his teeth pulling at her clit then sucking on it.

He played with her like that for a while, focusing on her clit before finally letting his tongue thrust inside her warmth. This time it was his turn to moan. She tasted even sweeter than any dessert he had ever had. A dessert he would be happy to have the rest of his days,morning noon and night. He sucked on her greedily, not stopping as he used his tongue to take her, take everything she had to give. However when he could feel her tighten around it,he paused. His eyes drank in the sight of her, bare, clothes half clinging to her, eyes closed and panting. He was still staring at her as a long finger slowly thrust inside her pussy, stretching her. She winced in discomfort but he returned to her clit sucking at it as he started to move. Soon enough, she was clenching around the digit, her mewls of pleasure and the way her hips started to rock betraying her pleasure at his touch. Soon enough a finger was joined by another, Nobunaga wanting to stretch her more comfortably for him. Once he determined that she was more relaxed and comfortable with the feeling of three of his digits inside her did he rise, licking his lips free of her juices, the sight making her flush. What would Nobunaga look like between her legs in his chambers while he pleasured her with his mouth and fingers? She hoped she would find out. But now.. 

She sighed as she felt the heavy weight of his cock pressing against her thigh and unthinkingly she reached down to touch him. He hissed as her fingers closed around his member experimentally stroking him. There he was, Oda Nobunaga, Lord of Hell and there was no place he would rather be. In his armor, soaking wet and this woman, his woman bringing him unimaginable pleasure.  He had bedded his share of women but none of them brought him the rush of affection and desire Kitty brought. He was rock hard and he had to remove her hand pinning it to her side as he whispered, “Will you take me as I am? Right here, right now?”

Kitty didn’t need to think. It took her a moment but she nodded. She expected him to simply thrust into her but Nobunaga leaned in, brushing his lips over her forehead, her eyelids, cheeks then finally her mouth.  

He took himself in hand, coating himself with her juice,grinding himself against her opening. She mewled, hands at his hair once more, gripping. He watched her as he slowly, steadily pushed inside her. She stilled, nails like talons on his upper arms as he filled her, inch by agonizing inch. Nobunaga thought he would die on the spot, the tight heat of her was nearly too much but once he pushed himself inside her to the hilt, his hand gripped her thigh opening her further to him. His mouth caught hers in a tender kiss just as he reached between them, long fingers toying with her clit. It took her a few minutes but Kitty melted into him, enough for Nobunaga to pull out slowly, thrusting back in. She welcomed him, the cold and rain forgotten as he moved. He tried to be slow, gentle but after feeling himself inside her, it was like she stripped him off all his restraint. His lips and tongue moved down her throat, a growl in his voice as he whispered against her skin. “The thought of never seeing you again, never having you… I’m a selfish man Kitty. A weak man. And you will not leave this weak man alone.” As he spoke, his thrusts sped up, his fingers squeezing her thigh, wrapping both her legs around him. It looked like she didn’t even notice, deep in the haze of pleasure and over-stimulation as he thrust hard into her, pushing her up into the stone wall. He gripped her hands with one of his, pulling and pinning them above her head, causing her to open her eyes and whine in complaint. What she saw though cut her complaint short. 

Nobunaga had his eyes open, gaze nearly black with passion as his fingers squeezed and kept her arms immobile above her. His hair stuck to his face, lips parted and kiss swollen. No sound came from him other than growls of pleasure as he proceeded to pound into her relentlessly. By all means it should hurt but Kitty found herself wishing he would take her harder. As if knowing what she was thinking, he shifted,the new angle hitting a place inside her that made her howl “N..Nobunaga! Please…” He didn’t stop, instead a whispered growl fell into her ear “Say my name again Kitty” “Nobunaga…” He growled again, his hips snapping hard as he took her deeper, his grip bruising, the whisper in her ear along with the feel of his armor clad body pressing into her overstimulated skin. She screamed out his name again, her nails digging in his fingers and it was all it took. Her orgasm pulled him over the edge, her pussy milking him for everything he had. He came with a low whisper of her name, gathering her in his arms, not caring for the rain or her being half naked. He kissed her face, his voice soft. She was barely conscious, the act too much for her which was she couldn’t hear his words. “Foolish girl what were you thinking leaving me?Thinking that those words mean anything to me. All I care for is your happiness. Your smile. I will tear out the tongue of anyone who puts the idea in your head that you aren’t enough for me. And I will make certain you never consider deserting me again. For without you I am not the Lord of Fools but just a fool.”  

As he bundled them in their cloaks and restored her modesty Nobunaga considered waking her and telling her all this. But there would be time for that later. He was more proficient with his actions than his words. Nonetheless, he promised himself that she was the one thing he would fight till his dying breath to keep. No matter what the future may bring, she was his. And he would spend all his days proving it to her.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

The Greatest Ninja Alive / Hotaru x MC

2017 SLBP Holiday Exchange

For the dearest, sweetest, loveliest @alva-radio. With all my love. Hope you like it. Thank you also to the @slbp-holiday-exchange mod for your patience, graciousness and kindness in putting up with my inability to meet a deadline. And then for letting me go wild in my own space. ♥︎♥︎

He’s six years old and he wants to be like his big brother. The greatest ninja alive. Problem is, he’s stuck. In a room. And no matter how hard he tries, there’s no conceivable way of getting out. 

He comes up with a plan, and he thinks it’s a great plan, up until the point he realises he’s a tad too short to reach any of the interlocking contraptions that keep him inside. Or the world outside. 

And really, why is he here in the first place? 

He tries to answer this question honestly, because it won’t be the first time he’s wondered, but he’s only six years old and he is suddenly tired, and hungry, and a little winded from leaping up over and over trying to catch a little chain he thinks is going to let him out.

He wants to be a great ninja. But great ninjas take breaks too. 

He’ll try again tomorrow. 

He’s seven years old and when he raises his face to the sky, he can feel the thousand tiny spines of raindrops melt onto his cheeks, his forehead. He hears his own raspy breathing, and the deep sounding of the storm among the trees, and the call of crows echoing off the branches. 

They’ll know, they always do. He scuffles back wet more often than not, and he’ll probably get in trouble again, but he wants just a few more seconds out here, where sounds ricochet between every stone.

Just a little more before he goes back to his room, his home, and its groaning and cluttering and creaking and silence.

Keep reading

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

For @demonintheally, from @melody-chii!

The tree is rough against your back, the wet bark clinging and scraping against your kimono. You can feel the damp seep in against your skin and the occasional droplets landing in your hair and dripping down your neck and spine. But you do not feel cold.

But to be fair, it would be impossible to feel such considering your situation.

“Ah—”

You gasp against his lips, your hands tangling in his thick, russet mane as he holds you up against the tree, and the rumble of thunder in the distance disguises your moans as he nips at your neck.

“L-Lord Shingen—” you gasp out, when he gives you a moment— “please—”

Lightning flashes among the clouds on the horizon, throwing his handsome features into a painfully sharp relief. It’s almost enough to make you forgive him for dragging you out into the rain, apparently just to— well. Do things that probably shouldn’t be done in the middle of a storm.

“—it’s a thunderstorm,” you insist. “The lightning—”

Of course, Takeda Shingen laughs in the face of danger. Even as doubts worry at the edge of your concentration, Shingen merely gives his dauntless grin, diving back into his ministrations with palpable pleasure, cutting you off mid-sentence. In hindsight, this was probably his plan from the start.

You’d followed him away from the palace hours ago when the clouds had merely been an ominous, bruised mass on the horizon. The morning air had been sticky against your skin and the atmosphere was heavy with the promise of rain. As you’d followed him up the mountain, the busy chirrup of birds settling into trees in preparation had echoed around you but, even as you persisted, Shingen had given you no heed except to help you up the more difficult parts of the mountain path.

There was no thought that you’d give up. If nothing else, it was enjoyable to go on a walk through the forest with the man you loved. But as the storm front rolled in, the temperature dropped sharply and the previously still air had grown wild.

“Lord Shingen, we ought to go back,�� you’d said. “I think there’s going to be a thunderstorm.”

Not that he cared, clearly, considering what the two of you were doing now.

His hands were shockingly warm against your shoulders, and he held you up, braced against the tree, with ease. No matter how dubious this current situation, with his arms around you, you felt safe.

Lightning flashed, the thunder rumbling an instant after— the storm shockingly close— covering your stuttered scream as he hilted you in full.

“Any complaints?” Shingen asked as he waited for you to finish gasping.

There were raindrops in your eyelashes. The bark was cold and the entire back of your kimono was wet and probably covered in mud. The rain was coming down in sheets, you could barely hear him over the cacophony of thunder, and the glorious dance of lightning over the horizon and above the two of you made you shudder a little inside at the danger.

But really, the answer was obvious.

His handsome smile was confident even as his intense, predatory gaze bore into yours, waiting for the answer. You could not resist leaning forward to press as kiss against his lips, boldly teasing at the seam of his lips. Shingen indulgently allowed you to explore his mouth and it was a long moment before you pulled back, gasping all the while.

“Not at all,” you told him seriously, in the sudden lull. Even the squall quieted to hear your answer.

After that? Well, it was a good thing that the storm had yet to move on.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Of Consequence

Rating: M Genre: Angst / Smut Characters/Pairs: Kirigakure Saizo / Reader Summary: You don’t want him to leave you, but you are running out of time. 

for @saizoswifey / from @tokyun (aka @koudaiin!)

The two of you hardly ever speak whenever he comes back.

It is a tired, quiet routine at this point–though you initially have to force it upon him, much like one always does with Saizo, as he will never outright accept favors or kindnesses that most would take without a second thought. It takes you eight times (you counted) to get it right, to get him to finally break for you, and he eventually wills himself to let you do what you want. One would think that asking to mend physical wounds would be a charitable, easy thing to offer, but you struggle to even get him to bare himself for you the first time, and you quickly realize that there is nothing simple about any of it. You only get to bandage his arms the first time and it takes until the sixth for him to reveal himself fully to you, with much reluctance on his own part.

Today, he has more scars than he did that first time and you run your fingers over the ridges and bumps of his skin–some are raised and white with age while others are still freshly red, having just barely healed from the last time you recall applying salve to them. Saizo will not look at you throughout the whole process as usual, instead directing his gaze to the wall behind you, as if he is waiting begrudgingly for you to finish. He is always stiff as you touch him, like he is holding something back, and you quietly wonder if he is trying to keep his distance from you again… though you do not necessarily have to think much about it, because you know that is exactly what he is doing at every given second that he must interact with you. Your heart aches a little when you have to think about it and you reach for the damp rag in the basin next to you.

“… You can be a reckless fighter,” you comment as you wipe away a particularly bloody gash running across his chest, watching him shiver just slightly as you do so. “I find it surprising that you can come back nearly unscathed from a war campaign while you have not a care in the world when you go on missions for your village.”

You speak, but he rarely does respond back, as if such things are not for you to know the reason for. Most times, Saizo will stare back at you, as if testing your will to keep trying to talk to him as you fix him up, bit by bit. Sometimes you will lull into a silence; others you will almost have an entire conversation with yourself, determined as you can be when you desperately want him to open up. You do not succeed often, but there are times when he is too tired, too weak to fight your insistence anymore. He tries to keep up this wall between you, but lets it fall quickly–it appears that he has not the energy tonight.

“… Your memory must be selective,” he comments–short and without much effort, but you take the opportunity and run with it.

“Not at all. I watch you too often not to be able to tell.”

“So you admit you watch me?”

“Yes,” you say with absolutely no hesitance and it catches Saizo off guard. He quiets at your truth, unable to find a proper retort right away because you have won the exchange. You have long since learned that there is little time to be playing guessing games with Saizo and that your best bet is to always be as honest and forward as possible. He is always trying to dodge and dance around everything with teasing and non-serious threats, but you cannot be bothered with any of that when you are so sure of what it is you want from him. A silence falls between you as you wait for an answer, occupying yourself with wiping down the rest of the blood staining his chest and moving to find the salve to apply right after. He eventually responds, somehow defeated in his tone.

“… Your efforts will resort to nothing. You know this. You cannot have what you want,” he says, looking you directly in the eye with a sort of pained exasperation, as if it is difficult for him to watch you try so hard for him. You hate it when he does this because you know that Saizo is right–that no matter how hard you keep trying, whether or not you have him even once, you will not be able to keep him. There will be no togetherness for any lasting amount of time, no forevers to speak of between the two of you. You know this.

“… I ask that you not speak to me as if I am a child,” you eventually say. He only offers you a bitter smile.

“So that tactic doesn’t work, either?”

“Just as gestures of kindness do not seem to work on you.”

–Another silence. It is tense this time, however, as Saizo is trying to resist you again. Conversations in these moments always end up like this, usually with little resolution, and you both do not speak to each other again for days after. But you do not want to let it stand tonight–you cannot let it, because you are running out of time. You move to reach for the bandages at your side, swiftly wrapping around his torso as you speak curtly, desperately.

“… I don’t want to leave like this.” You give him this with a hurt expression–one that you have been trying so hard to keep away from him, knowing it will guilt him. But you cannot help it at this point because you need him to say something, you need to know.

Saizo eyes are sad as he watches you work and he reaches up a hand in attempts to give you comfort, only to forcibly curl it back in a fist and put it back down at his side. You hate this about him, but you cannot bring yourself to chastise him for it yet. “You don’t have a choice,” he says, almost like he is stating facts, but his words seem to choke a little as he continues. “… I can’t make you happy, not for long–”

“Then just give me a moment!” you say quickly, staring up at him as you finish the last of his bandages and placing your fists against his chest. “That’s all I’ll ask for! Even if it’s just a little while…” you start, but your voice trails off as you attempt to hold back your tears. “Even if it’s just tonight, I want you to be mine…"

He goes so, so silent as you say that, quickly looking away from you with an expression you cannot see unless you forcibly move to do so. He takes a deep breath, as you are sure that he is contemplating something, before he finally–finally–makes a point to look at you. It is difficult to keep your gaze on him, taking in just how tired and sad his eyes seem to be, but you stay there nonetheless–you must.

His mouth curls into a bitter smile as you refuse to back down.

“You are cruel,” he tells you as his shoulders slump again, but Saizo leans his forehead against yours this time. You are too afraid to move, fearful that he may stop if you make any sudden movements. “You are selfish and wicked and an absolute fool,” he says. You want to retort, want to rebel, but this is the first time he has ever been so vulnerable with you that you force yourself to keep your mouth shut. You want to kiss the painful smile off of his lips, but are unsure if you can just yet. It is then that Saizo wills himself to touch you–his hands moving up to caress your cheeks in a way you did not know he could and you shiver under his touch. His hands are like ice.

“… If you were smarter, then you would already know that I am yours,” he insists in a hushed whisper, and you can feel his breath on your cheeks as they flush for him. You do not understand what he means, not truly–you want to ask him when that happened, how you could’ve possibly known any of that, but your desires are too strong for you to question why. He gives you a look that makes it seem like you have him in a terrible, painful vice grip, too, and from then on, you cannot help yourself.

You surge forward and for once, he does not fight you on it.

It is almost a little surprising that he lets you lead for a moment, taking your kiss and holding you close like he is frightened you might disappear–you tilt your head further into it, wondering if perhaps it will be enough to assure him of your presence. For now, at the very least, you are here with him and this moment cannot be taken away from either one of you. Saizo licks against your lips, suddenly impatient, and you can do little besides open your mouth obediently for him. He tastes like something of sweet iron–a terrible mix of something he genuinely enjoys and something else that bleeds out of the corner of his mouth whenever he gets another gash across his chest. You try not to think about it as you eventually fall backwards with no gentle intent–dizzy as you finally register that he’s hovering over you, still kissing you over and over and over.

Like before, the two of you don’t speak, but you feel so preoccupied with the way he feels, the way he tastes, that you’re not sure there are any words you want to hear right now. This is not right and neither of you should even be here this way, but it is still what you want more than anything in the world–what you hope he wants more than anything in the world. At the very least, that’s what you desperately think that Saizo is trying to convey to you as he leaves wet kisses against your neck and down your collar bone. You feel him tugging at your obi and you oblige readily, reaching back to pull at the knot in the back and together you manage to eventually throw it to the side so Saizo can hastily push the folds of your kimono away. He pauses just to stare for a moment and you are suddenly self-conscious, shifting uncomfortably as you wrap your fingers around his wrist in attempts to catch his attention.

“Saizo–” you try to plead, just to figure out what he is doing, but his mouth is quickly on you again before he elaborates anything to you. You gasp as he kisses a hurried trail down your chest, your stomach, and then to the inner side of your thigh as Saizo settles himself just above you. You quickly lean up on your elbows, intent on making sure you can see every detail of what it is he is about to do to you and surprisingly, he does not stop you or order you to do otherwise. If you were not so occupied with how close he is, you might think of what he would be like in any other given situation–if perhaps you were actually his and he could take his time with you, if maybe then that he would give you that teasing grin that you adore so much and hush you to lay back and wait as he slowly inches towards you. Neither of you have that luxury, though, and instead you must be content with the desperate way Saizo seems to look up at you instead.

“Can I–?”

“Please.”

Saizo appears to be content with that, as he wastes no time moving down and licking a long, languid stripe upward before burying his mouth against you. You have to throw your head back at the sudden sensation, biting your lip hard enough that it might bleed in attempts to keep yourself quiet–though you would much rather have him hear every bit of how good he makes you feel, of the way you would only ever do this for him, you also know better that the walls in this castle are thin. You only let out strangled attempts at keeping your moans down, curling forward as he suckles against where you are most sensitive–cursing under your breath as you are constantly reminded of the fact that this all must be a secret. That is the part you hate more than anything–that you must push it all down, must hold it in so that nobody knows that you belong to him and no one else.

It doesn’t take very long for you to finish, falling back to the floor as your thighs seem to clench around his head–your vision going white all the while. Saizo is merciful enough to just let you ride it out, refusing to leave you until your hips stop moving and he leaves more impatient kisses against your thigh as he waits for you. You both stay like that for a while until your breathing evens out and Saizo sits up, wiping his mouth with his arm as he stares at you again. You don’t feel as nervous this time and simply let him be as the silence overtakes the two of you for a moment… and then Saizo speaks.

“… I wish there was more time,” you hear him say bitterly.

“We could run away together,” you reply, laughing in your daze.

“That would be running to our deaths,” he insists, looking over you as he licks his lips. “We know better.”

“Then let me dream,” you say, covering your eyes with your arm and he doesn’t say anything else–he lacks the willpower to tell you that dreaming is foolish, or perhaps that he still wants you to dream anyway. You wonder if he wishes to be the only part of them–a world where the two of you could have made it, could have been less impossible.

You try not to dwell on it for now, scrambling to sit up again in order to shake the thoughts away from your head. You look at Saizo and find that he is straining, so you crawl over to him without a word. At first he wants to back away, cautious of what it is you are doing, and he makes a point to issue a warning.

“… I can’t take you,” he says.

“I know,” you insist, reaching towards his hakama and impatiently pulling them down. You see how clearly you affect him and regret the fact that you can’t do much more than wrap your hand around him. You sidle up close to Saizo, settling between his legs as you twist your hand up. “… But I can touch you.”

“You can,” he replies hurriedly, sighing heavily as you start up a slow rhythm. “You can…” he repeats and you lean your forehead up against his own. Your mind wanders again and you imagine Saizo in a place to tell you that you’re playing it too safe, that you can do more than this, little lady, but you have to stop that train of thought again to concentrate. You asked him for a moment and he is certainly giving you one, so it would not do you well to forget it while you lose yourself in fantasies that can never truly be.

The two of you are silent again throughout this exchange, listening to Saizo’s quiet, bated breaths between the occasional kisses you leave against his mouth as you stroke him almost feverishly. It is messy and simple and rushed, but the moon is also beginning to move westward and you need to make the most of this before the morning comes and you are summoned to your duties once more. You say his name once, twice, perhaps three times and Saizo only responds back with muffled groans as he keeps close to you. It is clear that he does not want to do too much, get in too deep, as his hands only just barely fist into your hair instead of pulling your body closer to him. But perhaps that is a mercy, too–as you are sure that if you knew the of the way his body would feel flush against yours that you would really, truly never be able to leave him afterwards.

He comes undone as you kiss him a final time, tilting your head to reach as deep as he possibly can as you feel your hand become slick with him between you. Your hand eventually leaves him, but you both do not part ways for a short while–kissing quietly in the dark for a time that feels too short, too little.

You ask him to stay the night with you when you do finally part and Saizo just gives you another pained look. You apologize to him, over and over, because you are only stalling the inevitable–trying to gather could-have-beens while you still can–and because he is only as hopeless as you are, he eventually agrees. The two of you lay in a half-naked mess of clothing, not even bothering to remake the futon as the stars even start to blur out of the night sky a little. You never want the night to end and you mistakenly tell him this. The smile he gives you makes your heart ache again.

“… We must really stop wishing for things we cannot have,” he says, though he tucks your hair behind your ear, anyway. You feel as if you want to burst into flames.

“… Will you be here in the morning?”

“…”

You curl up next to him as he refuses to answer you, though you are already well aware. He does not stop you and silently wraps an arm around you for now, closing his eyes as if in defeat. You nuzzle against his chest as you both secretly wish for a never ending night, but the morning still comes because the world simply does not wait for anyone.

—

“… Milady, you are delaying us all.”

“Just wait, please, just another few minutes–”

“Milady.”

You silence yourself at the retainer’s voice with such finality in his tone. You bite your lip as he looks at you with a clear exasperation–you have been holding up your escorts for a good thirty minutes now, but you do not want to leave without seeing his face one last time.

“… Milady, stalling will only make your betrothed frustrated with you–his family included. We can wait an hour or a month, but you are still to be married to Lord Hirohito.”

“… I know,” you say, feeling berated and depressed. You know that there is no point in trying to get one last chance in, as there is no escape from your political duty. “I just… There’s one more person–”

“He will not come,” the retainer insists, cutting you off without a second thought. You are sure that part of it is because he is sick and tired of waiting for you, but it also feels like a harsh truth being delivered like a slap in the face. You look down at your feet, feeling powerless and small before you eventually will your feet to move forward and next to the horse so that the retainer may raise you on its back. He sighs in relief and lifts you with ease, patting the horse on the rear as he moves on forward and signals to the other men in your party that you are ready to leave.

Even in the end as you look around from your steed, you cannot find a single trace of him–though you knew good and well that he meant it when he didn’t respond to your question the night before. Will you be here in the morning? You bite your lip again as your eyes start to feel hot and you rub at them desperately in hopes that nothing falls. This is what you signed up for–this is exactly what it is you asked of him. It is your own fault for thinking that maybe he would change his mind if you had a little time… because you know better that he thinks this duty of yours is the better, safer option for you, anyway. Saizo would never willingly put you in danger and that is where you would always be with him.

You only look away when the castle is too far from view–a final goodbye to what you once had for just the shortest while.

You do not notice the figure in the trees watching you as the crows fly by, clutching tightly at the ribbon he had stolen from your room.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

For @han-pan, from Santa-runs-fast! ;)

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Together - (From that-otome-potato)

This is my exchange gift for: @caystar  Their request: Character(s): Saizo or Shigezane | Theme(s): Fluff, Smut | Rating: Up to M | Dislikes: Gore, Rape, Incest, Magistrate |

Merry Christmas, Doll!

____________________________________________________________________________

“Hey, Doll! Come back here!” You hear a bright, laughing voice shout from behind as you jog down the halls and along the verandas, avoiding the man behind you with a smile on your lips and warmth in your heart.

~*~

You arrived in Yonezawa a few short months ago to be the poison tester for the great Date Masamune. Immediately it had proven more dangerous than you had expected, but you met the challenge head on because the wellbeing of your family was at stake. Acceptance into the clan hadn’t been an easy one, but you managed - especially when Lord Masamune made you his personal chef and both he and Kojuro showed you kindness.

Then you met his cousin.

Date Shigezane.  Playful, passionate, kind, caring, a little bit of a troublemaker, but never out of malice. He was also one of Lord Masamune’s generals - talented on the battlefield and a competent strategist.

The first time you met him, you were dressed as a man, pretending to be your brother. He had poked fun at you, teasing mercilessly. It was strange at first - you didn’t know him at all and often got flustered at his prodding. However, once you got comfortable around him, you started giving as good as you got, returning each good-natured tease with one of your own.

Over the following months, you found yourself wanting to spend more and more of your free time with Lord Shigezane. You felt his presence like a warm spring breeze as it wrapped around you, holding you close, giving you comfort when you needed it whenever he was visiting Yonezawa. Even once you were ousted as being a female, his treatment of you didn’t change.  He still teased you, joked around with you and was just his usual friendly self.

You looked forward to when he was in the castle because the time he was there always seemed a bit brighter.  When he was around, you sought him out.  When he wasn’t, you always awaited his arrival. He was the spring to your winter, always warming you from the inside and melting the snow that formed from the negativity that weighed you down with the wars that were constantly being waged.

Two weeks ago, when the Date army had returned from battle, badly beaten but victorious by a thread, you had been summoned by Lord Shigezane to his side as he lay in his sickbed within his quarters. He had managed to get himself injured quite severely while attempting to protect Lord Masamune and lay there heavily bandaged, with some of his wounds bleeding through the cloth coverings.

When you announced yourself, you entered at his greeting and felt your heart clench at the state he was in. His eyes met yours as you came to a stop next to his futon, kneeling at his side, and you saw his steely gaze was clouded over with pain, that same pain causing the lines of his face to be tense as he tried to keep it from you.

“Lord Shigezane -” You manage to say past the sudden lump in your throat as you continuously took in his bloodied bandages and bruises.

“Hey there, Doll. What’s up?  You usually tease me when I come back with a few scratches like this.” His voice was brittle sounding, it was breaking your heart.  He watched you intently and you felt tears welling at the corners of your eyes.

You quickly use your sleeve to wipe the offending liquid away to give him a smile.  “I apologize, milord.  I don’t know what’s come over me.”

But you did know.

The feelings you got when you saw him visiting the castle, the fear you felt when he went to war, when he came back in less than perfect condition.  You were in love with him.  Seeing him like this and knowing your reaction to it, only confirmed your thoughts. But there was no way you could tell him - he was nobility and you were just a page. Date Shigezane was out of your league.

You watched as he seemed to study your forced, watery smile, through pain-filled eyes before they began drooping.

“Lord Shigezane?” You asked after him as you watched his eyes began closing. You watched his hand slowly lift to where your hands clenched at the kimono covering your knees.

“Please…don’t look…don’t make eyes look like that.” He slurs as he weakly grasps your hands with his one large one. “You’re too beautiful to…make a face like that.”

His oddly serious words surprised you, the surprise quickly covered by fear when his head lolled to the side and his hand lost its grip on yours. Fear morphed to panic when he didn’t move. You thought the worst had happened and he had died until you noticed the slight movement of his chest indicating he had simply fallen asleep.  

You heaved a sigh of relief when you saw he still lived and tenderly reached up to push lengths of his hair from his closed eyes, careful not to disturb his rejuvenating slumber. “Beautiful, am I? No, it is you who is the beautiful one, Lord Shigezane.” You whisper to no one as you watch him sleep, occasionally wiping away the sweat beading on his brow from his fever.

~*~

Your heart swelled now at the memory as you still managed to evade him in his playful chase.  You knew that he was likely letting you escape him, but you didn’t care. Having such a man as Date Shigezane chasing after you was a joy beyond measure.

Your love for him had only grown in the following weeks after that battle, though no words of confession had passed your lips. But you had no need for them - you knew how you felt and had no issue with him not returning your feelings, knowing that he would need a samurai’s daughter to pass on his name which was something that you could never do. No, your happiness came from simply being with him in any capacity.

Hopping down into the gardens from the veranda on which you had been using in your escape, you made a cursory glance around you to see if you had managed to evade him.  So far so good - he was nowhere in sight and you slowed, panting for breath with a smile on your lips.

But your ease was short lived.

As you were passing by a large oak, its limbs heavy with the new growth that came with the season, you were grabbed from behind and whirled around.  You closed your eyes and cried out as balances were shifted by the person whose arms were around you, causing both of you to fall to the lush green grass at your sandaled feet.

You immediately started fighting the person, writhing and kicking to get loose of the arms binding you, until you caught a whiff of a familiar scent emanating off of your captor. Sake laced with something slightly earthy and floral, but far from overpowering. When you opened eyes equally familiar kimono. A shiver of sweet awareness moved throughout your body at the sound of his deep chuckle, causing you to join him - the sound of your merriment lost to the leaves above.

“M-Milord!” You immediately relaxed in his arms, feeling a blush heating your cheeks at his closeness.

“I’ve got you, doll.  You can’t run from me anymore.” Shigezane’s silky smooth voice came as a low whisper in your ear from behind, the husky timbre of his voice affecting you like nothing else ever had. He helped you move so that you could face him and looked up into his gunmetal eyes, noting something looked different in those depths you loved getting lost in.

His eyes locked with yours, staring, studying, making you wonder what he was thinking about, until he slowly leaned forward to press his soft looking lips to your own in an equally soft kiss.  Your eyes grew wide and your body stiffened at first in surprise. It was several moments before you calmed and closed your own, enjoying the feel of his lips on yours.  It was something you had been curious about for the longest time but never in your wildest dreams imagined you would actually get to experience it.

If this was a dream, it was one you never wanted to wake up from.

Shigezane’s lips were, indeed, as soft as they looked, but there was a firmness to them as he pressed harder into your own. He tasted of the sweet sake he smelled of as you let your tongue flit out to drink from his lips and you knew that if you continued kissing him, you would likely become drunk off it. You felt your tongue meet his as he did the same, likely tasting the strawberry daifuku you had been snacking on before he started chasing you. Your toes curled as he deepened the kiss, delving past your lips deeper to dance his tongue with your own.

All too soon, he slowly pulled away, taking your lower lip with him.  Your eyes fluttered open to look up at him, judging his thoughts the best you could in your hazy mind from the pleasure you had felt just from a single kiss. The dark gray of his eyes had disappeared, his pupils blown as he looked at you.

Details evaded you, but it was obvious he was thinking on something serious, if the crease between his brows as they lowered in a frown was any indication. You felt fleeting concern change to curiosity as his eyes warm the longer he stared.

Without breaking eye contact, you felt Shigezane’s hand lift from your side and run his fingers through your hair just above your ear, trailing down to cup the side of your neck. His hand, while calloused from years of wielding a sword, was warm and signified comfort to you. Moving down your shoulder, his hand trailed along your limb until it reached your hand, bringing it up between you two.

You watched as he brought your knuckles up to his lips to lay a chaste kiss on the flesh there, a smirk forming in the background before he inhaled to say, “I…have something to tell you. Something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now.”

“What is it, milord?” You somehow managed to say without any vibrations in your words.  The intensity of his gaze was increasing, causing your heart to race beneath your breast and your breath to come out in short spurts. It took everything in you not to shake. What he could possibly want to tell you was beyond your comprehension.  Was he telling you that he had found a betrothed? Was that part of why he had kissed you?  You’d been friends for quite some time.  Perhaps he had found himself curious as you was of him.  But now that the curiosity was sated, now he could tell you for sure?

“These past few months, ever since you came into Masamune’s service, have been some of the most interesting and most fun I’ve ever experienced at Yonezawa.  When you were dressed as a man, I could tell something was different about you, something special. You are always so much fun to spend time with. When you were discovered as a woman and dressed as one when not before the others living in the castle, you became something more. You became beautiful beyond words and continued to do so since that time in more ways than I can say.”  He paused, looking as if he was gathering his thoughts, never looking away from you.

“When we were still on the battlefield in the last war, all I could think about was getting back to Yonezawa where I knew you were waiting for the army’s return. Even as I protected Masamune, when I was nearly struck down, my thoughts were of you.  It took me a while to figure out what that meant.” Without warning, he rolled the both of you over so that he was staring down at you, leaning on one elbow so he wouldn’t squish you under his larger frame. His free hand took the opportunity to slide back up the arm he had been holding to cup your jaw.

“What I’m trying to say is…I’m in love with you, Doll.”

Your eyes went wide and you felt a gasp escape your throat at his words, the love you felt for the man above you warming you from the inside out. You must have taken too long to reply, because he started talking again.  “I know you will likely not feel the same about me because you could do so much better than me, but I - “

Pressing your fingers to his lips, you hushed him before he could continue. You smiled at him at his words and the look of surprise that came over him. “It is I who should be saying that you deserve better than what I can give you. You should be with the daughter of a samurai. I am but a cooks daughter. Even knowing all this, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you, milord. I know we may not have a future, but if you are willing, I would be happy to spend what time we can have with you.”

Shigezane chuckled at that.  “Not deserve you?  What this nonsense?  I don’t care if you are a cooks daughter or the shogun’s. You’re the one I want, no matter your lineage. What I care about is who you are. If I promise to protect you, to love you with all that I am, will you stay with me?” “Of course I will, milord.  I would love nothing more than to be there for you, care for you, love you as you deserve.”

He leaned in until your lips were a hairsbreadth apart. “Promise?” He whispered, the sweetness of his breath poured over yours, making your mouth water.

With a single nod from you, his lips crashed down on your own, sealing the promise you both had just made to the other.

____________________________________________________________________________

Note: I’m sorry for the angst!  I know it wasn’t in your request, but it just kinda happened!  I hope the fluff made up for it! Also, I know it’s for Christmas, but it’s been cold here, so I imagined this to be more spring time than winter lol.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

A Kiyohiro fic for @regretful-otome, from @yoolee

Side Ponytail Relationship Success Support Squad – the ship no one asked for, I’m sorry!

Watercolor background by Balasoiu. Reference one & two

Officially, Kiyohiro oughtn’t approve.

Emotional attachments are liabilities in the shared business of Iga villagers, and he has seen their cost paid enough times to understand why they are considered so; it’s much easier to clean blood off your blade that never belonged to someone once held dear.

But there’s something nice about seeing them form, and blossom.

The softness in the Lord Assassin’s smile looks like it belongs there. Like its shape has settled and sealed some shattered foundation and strengthened it.

Put more simply—Saizo looks happy.

As for Kiyohiro himself, who is not overly prone to strong emotions one way or another, he finds that watching sunlight creep into a soul sworn to shadows makes him happy as well. He keeps this to himself—but he does his best to protect it. He delivers gifts from Oyuki (though often while wondering if doing so is protection or problem-causing), redirects the wayward Hotaru, puts forth his own blade to distract the mad Hojo ninja intent on Saizo’s attention, such that his odd ardour won’t disrupt few stolen moments of alone time the Lord Assassin takes with his little lady. It is an offering of admiration if not precisely friendship. He supposes that suits best—he is neither guardian, nor protector. He is not even quite shadow, for if he were, he would not interfere. He is an ally of sorts. An admirer.

He notices—because it is his job to notice things—the pretty maid in pink lingering in the hallway. Ostensibly, she is scrubbing the floors, but to his trained eye they are already sparkling and so the activity is suspect. From his place tucked in the dim, Kiyohiro grips his weapon, and waits, weary of another interruption to thwart, but her purpose becomes clear as soon as the younger Sanada lord approaches. She flings her arms around Yukimura’s to prevent his entry into the closed room, and he stops short, free arm frozen from where it would knock.

The little lord, as Saizo calls him, predictably, sputters, and stammers, a shocked caricature of himself in scarlet from head to toes. The pretty maid shushes him and shoos him away from his course with a sweet smile and smooth words. His mission forgotten, the samurai returns from whence he came, face still burning in a blush and inarticulate mumbles stuttering under his breath. The maid watches him go, and Kiyohiro watches her. Her fingers are steepled, her hair pulled to the side, and her cheeks are bright with her pleasure. She gives a wordless thumbs up to the closed door. Kiyohiro does not detect a smile has taken up residence on his own lips in silent accord.

The couple has another ally, it would seem.

(He makes a note to learn her name.)

He does.

He also learns that she meddles.

He can only suppose that’s what she’s up to now, as she lies in wait in the garden, visible to him from his perch on the roof where he waits for Saizo’s return. He knows she is waiting, because he’s seen her and the woman in blue with her take the wash down before, and this particular instance seems to be requiring twice the usual amount of time. That, and she keeps checking less than subtly over her shoulder with impatience in her lips. Kiyohiro raises an eyebrow at Kansuke, who has silently joined him, unnoticed by the pair of maids working on their tasks below. The other ninja’s expression remains blank, focused but unconcerned. He gives a faint shake of his head; the reason for their apparent languor is unknown to him as well.

They need not talk, but Kiyohiro supposes once more that it is a sort of kinship, in that at least they are not fighting, as so often their kind must when encountering one another. He lets himself relax, but notes Kansuke does not. The other man is not tense, but he is still as he always is, watching and waiting as the maid does. Kiyohiro thinks again of sunlight and reflects that perhaps Kansuke’s is a different sort than that which Saizo has found.

He’s amused for a moment, that they are all waiting. He, for Saizo, Kansuke, for his lord, and the maid—for what?

But it becomes clear when Shingen strolls down the halls, laugh hearty and full, and Umeko calls for him sweetly. Kansuke, who was at Kiyohiro’s side one second, is not the next. His absence is as whisperingly unremarkable as his arrival, and Kiyohiro knows better than to look for where he has gone. Instead he watches, as Shingen obligingly approaches, and Umeko artfully—or perhaps, artlessly, trips on her sandal, careening into her blue-clad partner, who is then flung forward towards and into her lord…

Kiyohiro supposes he should sigh, but there are advantages to being an unseen observer and so he smiles instead, a faint press upwards of his lips. In any case, Shingen not only has an armful of blue-dressed and blushing maid with stars in her eyes, he has Kansuke, and that makes such meddling not Kiyohiro’s concern.

He spares a glance for the unrepentant Umeko, regarding the Tiger of Kai and her friend with as focused and bright a gaze as a child receiving a treasure.

He shakes his head and hears the crows calling. When he turns to seek them, and so the one who has called him here in the first place, he catches a stretch of sunlight creeping up clasped arms in red and blue, and smiles.

Because he learned it, when he hears Umeko in Owari, he pays more attention than he might have otherwise. From his position behind the gold-robed Lord Ieyasu, he watches, and there is no one to watch him and so detect the flash of a concerned crease that appears between his brows.

Sure enough. There she is, expression sheepish but no less bright, far from the lands of Kai, and in the service of the Demon King.

He does not serve Nobunaga, so he does not offer up his knowledge.

But he watches.

She is still there, still in pink, still with her hair to the side and her thoughts clear on her face. He notes other changes with her arrival, most notably in the lord she serves, whose eyes follow what appears to be a lad, but to Kiyohiro’s observant skill is clearly a woman. His business is secrets, and the risks they may carry. So he watches, as the would-be lad slips into the kitchens, and emerges with a jar of sugar candies, Umeko at her side, urging and encouraging some romantic purpose.

He hears her confess in the sheepish, girlish whisper of confidences shared between friends and not meant for eavesdropping shadows, that she was dismissed for not getting her work done. Since she is, at the particular moment Kiyohiro is observing, making the tea too hot and too full such that when it inevitably spills its victim will need nursing, he is not terribly surprised to learn this.

He, who is wired to work and work well, cannot quite reconcile her methods. But perhaps because there is something about the mighty being nudged by the modest, or simply because he appreciates her for pursuing what he will not, and the fact no word of what she knows from her prior service spills from her lips to endanger those he admires, when the sunlight reflects off of the tray of too-hot tea pressed into the not-a-lad’s hands, he smiles.

The way to a samurai’s heart is, apparently, through his stomach. Kiyohiro files that away with quiet consideration as he watches Ieyasu—like Saizo and Nobunaga before him—fall in love with the daughter of a cook. For his own reference, he makes a note of the chef’s home town. He wonders if perhaps there is some new ninja clan forming in Kyoto, one that focuses on foods instead of more immediate seductions, but try as he might, can find no wile in the lady’s affections for the caustic lord they both serve.

But then, if she is a very good ninja, he wouldn’t, would he?

Worried, he holds himself quiet in the dark, and crafts a message in his thoughts to be later delivered to Oyuki, who would know such things and hear him out. The silver-haired kunoichi of Iga may seem flighty and unfocused, but even in his mind he gives her name the respect she has earned. After all, she always comes home, her missions complete and her skin unkissed by wounds. Her wiles are perhaps more… exuberant than others in the village, but Kiyohiro can appreciate the effectiveness of her methodology. Surely she knows of stomachs, and as this now involves his employer, it will not do to be caught unawares.

Having decided on a next action, he feels something like relief, until he notes that here in Ieyasu’s castle, just past the quiet space near his Lord Ieyasu’s rooms where he holds himself in silence, there is a maid in pink scrubbing the floors. She looks familiar. As he is wondering just where from, footsteps and squabbling echo down the corridor.

“But Lord Ieyasu—”

“Just be quiet and come along, kitchen wench!”

Kiyohiro winces, but the maid’s head shoots up with a delighted grin, and she overturns her bucket of water, grabs her rag and the the now emptyied vessel and scampers with great haste out of sight.

He knows her name, and in surprise, it flows from him in a whisper, and she turns, shrieking at his (what to her must seem) sudden appearance, but he grips her arm as gently as he is able in his frustration, and pulls her into his shadows.

What is she planning? What has she done?

“Your lord could have gotten hurt.” His voice is calm—it always is—but even he can hear the firm disapproval in its tone. The maid’s quick, darting glance to the side and muffled twist of her lips tells him she doesn’t really see that as a problem (her defiance baffles him, he who serves without question and eyes downcast).

“Weeeell,” she hedges, drawing out the vowel in the way of someone who doesn’t know where they’re going next. Surprised at himself, he feels his fingers tighten on her shoulders, and her pretty, dark eyes fly back to his. (He doesn’t notice how happy he is for that, but later, when he settles onto the rooftop to guard his liege’s door for the night, the stars remind him of that startled, brightly defiant stare). His voice is soft, but does not waver. “Or the cook,” He does not know her name, they all seem the same to him, so long as they are not a threat, “I believe you did not consider that?” That gets guilt, which flashes briefly before settling back into determination, and her chin juts up even as a slim finger bangs into his chest, poking just to the side of his heart, not far off.

In an insistent whisper, she hisses, “They won’t get hurt, they—”

“­YAAACK!”

Splat.

Though he’s done nothing wrong—except, perhaps, fail to warn his employer of a threat—Kiyohiro tenses, and Umeko eeps in his arms, but wastes no time leaning her head back. The ninja is less eager to look, but she turns back to him, full smile coquettish and radiant with triumph. She giggles, and the finger that had been so willing to poke him now beckons. Uneasy, Kiyohiro obliges, peering for himself around the corner.

Because he knows what has happened—and who is to blame—Kiyohiro does not misunderstand the scene before him, but it would be easy to do. The little cook hovers inches from the ground, disheveled and wide-eyed, locked in her lord’s arms. Her alarmed hands have tangled in his golden robes, his are wrapped around her waist and up her back, their grip white and tight in the fabric, a picture of passion and shock and…

Kiyohiro has no desire to deal with having been caught witnessing such a scene and hurriedly pulls Umeko away and out of sight. The hallway only leads to their lord’s room, so deciding on the most expedient option to get them out of there, he scoops her up and darts up instead and out through the rafters.

Her gasp of shock is ignored, as are her arms, flung quick and tight around his shoulders. In the courtyard he sets her down and finds himself relieved that her cheeks are not pale in fright from his handling. She stares at him for a moment, and he dips his head, ready to return to his task when she asks, “Have I seen you before?”

It surprises him, that she’s asked. “Not if I have done my job well.”

She grins. “Of course, the…” She waves a hand at the rafters, and pink brightens the spots above her smile. “And you always do your job well, I bet.” He doesn’t have to say yes, she’s already nodding on his behalf. He lets her and stays quiet. “I don’t,” She confesses with a mischievous grimace, and out of courtesy he refrains from nodding on her behalf, “I mean to! I do! And I can but sometimes…” She trails off.

Kiyohiro thinks of slippery floors and close embraces, of fluttering sheets of laundry and trays of tea. “Sometimes circumstances are extenuating.”

“Yes.” Umeko looks relieved he understands. Which he doesn’t, exactly, but he has some sense of it. He bows, assuming their exchange is complete, and turns to leave when she seizes his hands. Hers are rough as his are, from a different sort of work than wielding swords and climbing buildings. “I HAVE seen you! You threw Lord Saizo’s crazy ninja down the well!”

He blinks owlishly at her. She is leaning in with delight, furtively glancing around, before whispering “At the castle of the Tak—” His hand is quick to cover her mouth in warning, well aware of how even whispers travel to the right, or wrong, ears. It is not so bad for him to have been there, but she is not—and he is certain of this now, for reasons he worrisomely cannot root in logic—a ninja, and would be called a spy and quartered. To his surprise, he realizes he would regret such a thing coming to pass.

Perhaps he is getting used to seeing pink wherever his role takes him.

She mumbles into his hand, breath warm and undeterred, “On Lord Saizo’s birthday!” Since she will talk anyway, despite the look he levels at her to warn her to silence, he drops his hand. “I know it must have been you because I thought at the time how we have the same style!” At his faint expression of confusion, her hands part, one going to her own ponytail and one to his. He catches the scent of something floral as she runs her fingers through their strands and thinks she is a rather strange person. It isn’t a bad thing, he supposes. “That was very sweet of you, to fight him off so they could have time together.” Uncomfortable with her praise, his eyes drop to the side, and he almost misses her next words. “You ship them too, don’t you?”

His brows furrow. The Takeda are more inclined to cavalry than armadas, and he wonders suddenly if she is a spy and knows something he does not, “Ship… them?”

“Yes! Together! Lord Saizo and his little lady! Oh they were just so adorable, don’t you think?” She’s sparkling again, Kiyohiro thinks, and it reminds him of sunlight. He tries to remember that he’s always been fonder of the rain, and wondesr what Lord Saizo would make of being deemed adorable. “Just like Lord Ieyasu and his sweetheart.” There, again. Sweetheart and Lord Ieyasu are hard to put together in the same sentence, but Kiyohiro cannot deny a soft spot for the capricious man. Though he can lie, as doing so is often critical to his survival, he prefers not to if it is unnecessary, and so once again he says nothing and once again Umeko does not seem to mind. “Oh it won’t be long now with them, it just won’t! I wonder if perhaps there is some way to speed it along.”

“Speed what along?” Kiyohiro murmurs, unaware he has asked out loud. Umeko looks at him like he is silly, and that seems very unfair to him. He is not the one sparkling. 

“Their relationship of course. Their love story!” He puts it together then, ship and shipping with relationship, and considers again that she is a bit strange, but Umeko is still talking. “Isn’t love beautiful?” Her eyes have gone starry, the question ending in a sigh. The honest answer, that he wouldn’t really know, rises in his throat, but her gentle, roughened hands are clasped once more in dreamy appreciation, misty in her smile, and he says nothing. “They just need a bit more of nudge.” The misty dreaminess abruptly skews towards something more purposeful, and a warning bell chime in his mind, “I wonder…”

“He is your employer.” Kiyohiro murmurs, asking at last what he has longed to know. How can she so flippantly insert herself into his affairs? It is reckless, and so against what he has been taught and how he is that he cannot help that it sounds like an admonishment.

“Of course. Don’t you want him to be happy?” He did, but that fell into the category of not relevant to doing his job well, so he didn’t act on it. “And I’m sure he’s marginally more pleasant to work for when he is.” He frowns at her, because that is even less relevant, but she flaps a dismissive hand. “Oh don’t give me that scary face! You aren’t half as scary as Milord Ieyasu is.” Kiyohiro isn’t certain if he should be amused or insulted. He settles for neutral—it’s never bad to be underestimated. “Oooh you have a sword, don’t you?” She’s only just now seen? Kiyohiro worries for her sense of self-preservation. “Perhaps you could kidnap her, or prete—”

“No.” The gentleness of his speech does not make the statement any less iron-clad. That is a line he will not cross, however appreciative he is of this determined woman’s fearless efforts in pursuit of… ships. He believes he’s gotten that right.

She puffs her cheeks out in a pout, but moves on quickly enough, tapping her chin in thought. “Well, I suppose I could ask the fellow in the market who’s sweet on me to do it…”

He feels a flash of unexpected irritation, and tells himself it is because he does not wish for harm or fear to come to anyone, and does not appreciate her disregard of the risk. It is uncharacteristic of him to interfere. He should leave her to her machinations, return to the shadows, and be unsurprised when she is dismissed for her efforts. It’s something he knows, but he closes his eyes, and then opens them, and wonders what he is doing. “May I present you an alternative?”

She giggles. “You’re so formal.” So he’s been told, but that’s his nature. She tilts her head in a way that sends her silken bangs into her eyes, considering him. Without realizing, he brushes her bangs aside, and only realizes what he’s done when her cheeks turn pink. He yanks his hands back, and she stumbles in her words, “An alternative?”

He apologizes silently to Ieyasu’s page, but it is better than her staging violence. Surely. Or, not that he wishes to admit it, going to someone else. “The young lord, Ii Toramatsu would… appear to hold affections for the same lady.” He offers this with great reluctance. It’s not as though he has been asked to keep the secret, not as though it bears relevance to anyone except a matchmaking maid in pink. Still, it is enough enough unlike him to freely offer information when his business is secrets to be sold that his brow furrows once more in concern with himself.

Umeko squeals, “Really?” Already regretting speaking, Kiyohiro remains still. “Oh that’s wonderful!”

(Kiyohiro does not see how but it seems unwise to offer that up.)

She doesn’t seem to notice, and continues, “We can certainly use that.”

“We?” Kiyohiro blinks, but her arm is tangled around his, freely and willingly, and the soft pink fabric looks bright against navy armor and red rope. She squeezes cheerfully and drags him down the hallway to some unknown purpose. He could escape, but he doesn’t.

“Well sure! We’re partners now! The Side Ponytail Relationship Success Support Squad!”

Kiyohiro frowns.

Umeko pouts. “Alright, maybe that’s a bit much of a mouthful. We can be—” She pauses in surprise, “I don’t know your name.”

To his surprise, he wants to tell her. Wants to give her the truth. He doesn’t like to lie, unless it is necessary, but it is in this case. So he lies, and tells himself there is no reason to regret it, as she’ll never know. “Kiyohiro.”

She beams, “Kiyohiro! It’s nice to meet you.”

He has to smile at that, thinking of shadows. He murmurs gently, “I’m uncertain you would find any to agree with you.”

She sniffs, “Well poo on them.” His eyebrows raise, but she ignores it, as usual he is beginning to suspect, “I’m Umeko.”

He doesn’t tell her he knows already.

Manners dictate the response, for all that it is also true. “It is nice to meet you, Miss Umeko.”

“Of course it is,” The confidence is tempered with a tinkling laugh that tells him she is aware how silly she is being. Conspiratorially, she tugs on the elbow she’s captured, and he obliges, lowering his ear closer to her height. “Next? I think we should hook up Lord Tadakatsu. He’s such a sweetheart, he just needs the right partner, you know? And we can find them! Or perhaps poor Lord Toramatsu. Yes, yes I think he will need to be next, the poor dear, since his lady love is desperately smitten with someone else. Even if they are both stubborn and won’t admit it yet, silly dears. But we can help! They’ll find love with our help! I’m sure of it!”

He is less so, and uncertain that he should spend his time on such pursuits when he has work for Lord Ieyasu and the village to see to, but she’s smiling, and it is bright as sunshine.

He smiles back.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

A modern Saizo/MC for @akiza-hades-rose, from @alva-radio!

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

(For @jemchew, from @regretful-otome)

1. Usagi.

“My name is Yahiko.” The boy beside Lord Kenshin was tiny. Smaller than everyone in the castle, almost the same height as Kanetsugu, but somehow smaller.

In other words, Yahiko was positively tiny compared to himself. He didn’t want to fight the small boy, he would crush him, so Kageie didn’t go out of his way to make friends with the tiny boy.

He… fit in somehow. A bit awkward in the way all growing boys who weren’t quite adults yet were, but alright.

Also, he was very jumpy.

It was like they had gotten a rabbit.

2. Oishī.

A small rabbit that could cook he amended a few days after his introduction. He was much better than the other castle cooks so hopefully, they got to keep him, if only for his food.

He could make kusa-mochi edible. He made Tsugutsugu’s bitter kusa-mochi sweet like they were supposed to be. A relief for his taste buds because Tsugutsugu was fast when it came to making others eat them.

“Yakko, food.” He plopped his head on top of his, his hair was soft, and tossed his arms over those tiny shoulders.

He barely stumbled with his weight this time.

3. Houchou.

Yakko would be very good with a tantou he decided, watching the swift cuts he made to the fish. No hesitation. A good thing on the battlefield.

“Hey, Yakko, want me to teach you how to fight?”

“No.”

That was a shame. He was small. And fast from the few times he had seen Yakko run.

“Are you sure? I’ll go easy on you.” He offered. Tsugutsugu was starting to get boring. And Yocchi never wanted to spar.

He blinked and stared down at the blade that was pointed at his throat.

“No.”

Kitchen knives suited Yakko’s hands more.

4. Kasa.

“You’re so small.” It was part complaint and part… he didn’t mind how small he was, compliment, observation?

But this was starting to hurt his back a little. If he straightened his back, the umbrella would be too high to cover Yakko and the rain was pretty heavy.

Not to mention, both of their feet were already covered in mud and their hakama were getting wet.

“Sorry about this.”

He seemed light enough.

“Yakko, hold this.” He handed the umbrella to him and then picked the smaller man up.

“Kageie-san!”

“Kakki.” He corrected. “We’re friends, so call me Kakki.”

5. Yomu.

Yakko was staring blankly at the scroll. Like he didn’t know what to do with it.

But, he was a commoner. Not a samurai or a noble.

“Yakko, do you know how to read?”

“… no.” Just as he thought.

“I’ll teach you how!” Yocchi popped his head onto Yakko’s and started pointing at the scroll. “This kanji is-”

“Yocchi, he needs to learn kana first before kanji.” His teacher hadn’t been merciful when teaching him the Chinese characters, but he could at least make sure Yakko didn’t suffer too much learning. “I’ll get some books for him.”

6. Okaeri.

“Kakki, you’re super lucky, you know.” He eyed Yocchi as he led him and his group somewhere after their wounds were treated. Rear guard was fun. The injuries not so much.

“What are you talking about? You want to join us?” Laughing, Yocchi shook his head and slide a door open.

A feast. There was no better word for it. It looked good for what wasn’t covered.

And there was a familiar form in the corner, fast asleep.

“When Yakko heard you were coming, he asked Lord Kenshin for permission to make a feast to welcome you back with.”

7. Moku.

“What is this for?” His stare was almost accusing. No doubt he still remembered their conversation in the kitchen.

Yakko didn’t want to fight. But that didn’t mean he should be defenseless.

“You’re too weak.” But still sturdy. “Some defense never hurts.”

A practice sword would hurt, but not in a permanent manner.

Just enough for him to get away.

“I still don’t want to fight.”

“But I won’t always get there in time, Yakko.” Good, Yocchi could do this. “We want you to be able to defend yourself a little, so please?”

He crumpled like paper in no time.

8. Ue.

He woke to a blanket being placed on him and a shadow cast over him.

Wordlessly, he lifted his arm up. An invitation. One he didn’t offer often.

“I have to help with lunch.”

He frowned. Yakko’s food was good and people would get upset if he deprived them of his cooking. So he just sighed and settled back under his blanket which was a haori. But too big to be Yakko’s. Who could have given Yakko one then?

Too much effort to think about he decided, closing his eyes again.

It smelled like sandalwood and felt like sunset.

9. Amai.

The first time Tsugutsugu offered his weapon-grade kusa-mochi, he was unaware. Afterwards, he ran, but that rarely stopped Tsugutsugu. Honestly, they should just equip Tsugutsugu with his food and let him throw them at the enemy. Or feed them. He was such an aggressive feeder.

The first time after Yakko’s arrival, the kusa-mochi was sweet for once.

Just like all the other sweets leaving Yakko’s kitchen.

He wondered what it said about him when he took to napping near the kitchen in order to wake up to a plate of sweets nearby with a pot of tea and a cup.

10. Neru.

He was pleasantly surprised when he woke up in a small human curled up under his haori. Or rather, one under and the other leaning on the wall right by him. It was rare for Yakko to not have a shadow called Ai behind him.

They were both so small that his haori easily covered both of them. It was warm enough he didn’t need it to nap.

Kanetsugu couldn’t scold them. He wouldn’t. He was oddly fond of Yakko though that might have had something with the way Ai followed him around.

A nap would be good for them.

11. Tōrō.

“Kakki-san,” Opening his eyes, he was met with soft lantern light being cast on the floor and Yakko looking down on him. “You missed dinner.”

Giving the smaller man a look, he deliberately dragged his eyes from his to the tray in his hand.

The action got him a giggle and the tray moved in front of him.

“Itadakimasu.”

It wasn’t bad. Eating on the veranda with a lantern’s light and Yakko’s quiet presence.

Perhaps he should keep doing this.

“Kanetsugu-san seemed annoyed with you not coming to dinner.”

Or maybe he shouldn’t. An irritated Kanetsugu was feared by all.

12. Kage.

Officially, Yakko was a page. Kenshin’s page. Or Kanetsugu’s depending on who snagged him first. And a cook.

Unofficially, as in Ai had decided it and no one ever denied her anything that wasn’t dangerous, he was Ai’s main caretaker.

Though, watching the two of them hang laundry up to dry from his spot on the roof, Ai looked like she could have been Yakko’s little sister. Or daughter if he was a little older.

“Nii-san, can we make mochi for Father today?”

“Of course.”

He was good with kids. Did he have a little sister in the capital?

13. Himitsu.

Yakko had secrets. And he wasn’t very good at hiding their existence. He supposedly had an older sister and a mother back in the capital. If anything, Yakko seemed more like Kanetsugu than Yocchi so did he have another sibling?

Not like it was in his position to pry when Yakko was mostly harmless. Unless it involved his kitchen.

Yakko was very good at not revealing his secrets.

“B-b-breasts!” Tsugutsugu covered Yocchi’s mouth before he could get louder.

Except, he couldn’t hide this one after falling into the pond. Then, loud stomps came before them.

“What is going on here?”

14. Shiragiku.

Well, in hindsight, he supposed it made sense. Yakko was built more like a willow and so light compared to even Kanetsugu, he had worried he wasn’t eating enough.

The wet clothes clinging to her frame made it quite obvious a woman had been underneath them.

“You’re soaked!” Grabbing a towel, Kanetsugu started to pat her dry. Not even blinking at her gender. He probably knew from the start.

So why did he let her stay? Did Kenshin know?

“Don’t just stand there! Get me another towel!”

Too troublesome to think about it now he decided, getting another towel.

15. Bijin.

“Yep, Yahiko’s a woman.”

So Kenshin knew too.

“Women are forbidden in the castle.”

“She’s here for Ai. Kanetsugu figured she could use some feminine influence in her life.” Then why weren’t they told in the first place?

The shifting and frowning meant he wasn’t the only one to think that.

“Yakko’s still Yakko.” Yoshichi decided with a firm nod. “So where is she?”

“Lord Kenshin?”

“Come in.”

The door to the main hall slide open.

Her still somewhat damp hair clung closely to her neck and he could see why they felt the need to hide her.

Pretty.

16. Aho.

Yakko, as she didn’t mind being called that, was an idiot, he decided, for continuing to stay when she could have gone home. It was a castle full of men and one girl, and, now, one woman. “No. Spar with me.”

Oh, wait, it was their own fault for making her feel safe enough that staying was an option. There went Tsugutsugu dragging off his latest victim for a ‘spar.’

More like beating him black and blue. In the name of training so they couldn’t get in trouble.

And Kanetsugu seemed to approve of their methods.

Kenshin didn’t mind either.

17. Ku.

“Kakki-san, I made onigiri. Would you like some?” It was nice to hear her normal voice. Pleasant, not at all hoarse like she pretended it was to hide its high pitch.

“Yeah.” He sat up. Taking one of the balls of rice off the plate, he bit into it when something caught his eye.

Where had she gotten rouge? They always went shopping in town together so he would know if she bought something.

Did Lord Kenshin give it to her?

It was a nice shade.

He should warn Yocchi and Tsugutsugu. They were going to have more work now.

18. Namae.

The only people who knew Yakko’s actual name were Kanetsugu and Lord Kenshin. And no one asked her what her name was.

As if, if they did know, Yakko wouldn’t be one of them anymore.

It would be much more real that she was a she and not simply a beautiful man like Lord Kenshin. And happened to dress like a woman.

“Hey,”

“Yes, Kakki-san?”

“Your real name, what is it?”

Looking around and then gesturing him to lean down, it felt like she was telling him a secret.

Something private she was going to share just with him.

19. Nyuu.

It was dumb. It was no secret that Lord Kenshin was fond of Yakko. He doted on her constantly as evident by her growing collection of hair accessories and fine kimono. In addition to his habit to escaping the castle with her.

Lady Uesugi, they whispered in the halls. The rumors were flying around.

Before he didn’t pay attention to them, but these ones irked him.

Now he was downright irritated.

He wasn’t surprised by the fact that Lord Kenshin liked to do her hair.

It was the fact that he minded that surprised him.

It was just a hairstick.

20. Atsui.

Too hot to nap. Way too hot, even in the shade. Especially near the kitchen.

“Yakko,” He whined. From outside the kitchen, right where he could start to feel the heat. It was almost dinner time so it was hot from the flames.

“Yes?” Soft, but quick footsteps signaled her arrival.

… perhaps he shouldn’t have called her outside.

The sheen of sweat on her skin caught the setting sun’s light and there goes a drop down her neck and into… her… cleavage.

She looked good regardless of the weather.

“I want sweets.”

“After dinner if you’re still awake.”

21. Suki.

He wasn’t an idiot. He was very familiar with emotions contrary to what his comrades might think. He was a rather simple man. None of that complicated denial stuff.

The worst that could happen was Lord Kenshin taking offence in the scenario that she was his lover.

He might die.

But that was highly unlikely since she wasn’t the type to get retribution for anything.

Except messing with her kitchen.

“Kakki-san?”

He gestured to the spot beside him on the veranda and waited until she was seated.

“I love you.”

Oh, her surprised squeak was adorable. Along with that blush.

22. Aka.

“You can’t just say that!”

“I just did.”

He could wait until her stammered retorts ended. Except it didn’t look like she would be done anytime soon.

Softly, he called her name, putting a stop to her voice.

“I love you.” He repeated calmly. As calmly as he could with his heart thumping louder than usual. “I liked Yakko, now I love you.”

Well, her blush and attempt to hide behind her hands seemed like a good response.

It wasn’t a rejection yet.

“Well?”

“I… love you… too.”

“I can’t kiss you with your hands in the way.”

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Dovetail (for jane-runs-fast)

This is for the inimitable @jane-runs-fast, who brings so much beauty to our fandom throughout the year and who I find personally super admirable and fascinating. I wanted to write you a modern Tadakatsu with his big ol’ heart on display alongside his masochism, and I really wanted to show that these qualities do not in any way negate each other. xoxo,

@pseudofaux

This isn’t too smutty (WHAT HAVE I DONE) but is solidly NSFW.

In some ways Tadakatsu dreaded these social gatherings, but they could be refreshing, and he usually had a nice time. The group was easy to be around, friends and friends of friends in Toramatsu’s orbit getting together for game nights and the like. College had been great for that kid; Toramatsu had become much freer with his good nature. The game nights he hosted were always chill. Tadakatsu could cut up and everyone would just roll their eyes and laugh.

There were new people almost every week, the roster ever-changing around a core group. This time there was a new woman, someone from Toramatsu’s office. She seemed petite and polite, a little… not quite mousy, but quiet. He wondered if she would be comfortable enough to come back. Amidst all the dark gaming t shirts—amidst all the dudes, frankly, it wasn’t always just guys but that night she was the only woman—she stood out, smiling but hanging back from either of the game tables. She didn’t seem nervous the way he might if he were so new to something.

After a round of Catan he lost by two measly points, he asked if anyone wanted a drink. A few people at the other table called out requests, and he repeated them to himself as he walked to the kitchen. Too many sodas and juices to handle well, but he was pretty sure he’d remembered them all. Not who they belonged to, but at least what kinds and how many.

“May I give you a hand?” asked the new woman.

He had not realized she followed him to the kitchen.

“It seemed like a lot of people wanted drinks… I wanted to offer to help,” she said, when he didn’t respond.

“Sure,” he finally answered, a ready smile now that he wasn’t so bewildered. Nice of her to offer. “I’d appreciate it. I’m Tadakatsu.”

“I know,” she smiled back, reaching for a tray on the counter. She held it out to him and continued speaking as he pulled out the drinks. “It’s very nice to meet you, Tadakatsu. I’m Nasakeko. Toramatsu talks very fondly about you.”

He took the full tray from her. “I’m a little surprised to hear that,” he joked as they walked back out. “You two work together, right?” Mikawa Consulting was a big company, it didn’t surprise him that they were technically coworkers but had never met.

“We volunteer together,” she corrected pleasantly.

“He volunteers?” Tadakatsu was surprised to hear of it.

After a moment, she said “I volunteer at the Minowa preserve lands.”

“What does Toramatsu do?”

She bit her lip, then shrugged with a new smile. “I’m sure he could tell you better than I could,” she said a bit evasively.

Hmm.

They distributed the drinks and she played the next game, Medici, at Tadakatsu’s table.

She was back the next week. A torrential summer downpour made them both late. They arrived after games had already started, so they sat on the tiny patio of Toramatsu’s apartment together and tried small talk over the hiss of the rain. She seemed very considerate and sweet. She’d brought a container of soup for one of the players who wasn’t feeling well, and a zippered kitchen bag of something that looked like weird weed for another.

He couldn’t help himself.

“What’s in the bag?” he asked.

“Millet for Ietsugu’s cockatiels,” she said, sounding pleased. He wouldn’t judge her, but were those euphemisms? He had no idea what any of that meant.

“Cockatiels are birds,” she clarified gently. “Millet,” she held the bag out to him “is a seed they love. They just go crazy for the stuff.”

He huffed out a “cool,” chuckling as he turned the bag in his hands to look at the odd stalks of tan seeds, and she smiled.

“I like birds,” she said. “I have several feeders outside my apartment and it’s fun to see who visits.”

He nodded, acknowledging what she said. He saw pigeons outside his office window sometimes. And his boss had larger than life modern watercolors of birds of prey in the meeting room they used when they were trying to intimidate people.

“I found an app for bird identification just the other day!” she said, suddenly as effusive as a cartoon princess. “It’s really helpful. I’m not quick enough with print birding guides yet.”

It wasn’t his thing, but he admired people who let themselves love their hobbies. There was something very welcoming about Nasakeko; he thought maybe she felt the same way.

“How long have you liked them?” he asked.

“Oh, years,” she gushed, glowing and telling him pretty much all about it.

He learned she was a primary school art teacher. That fit. That fit really well.

When she asked, polite and engaged, about what he liked and what he did, he gave his practiced answers. She looked a bit disappointed, like she could tell he was keeping himself back, and he found himself telling her more about the board games he enjoyed. Socially acceptable talk for where they were. She listened attentively to that, relaxing and asking him questions.

No one interrupted them, so they were on the patio for nearly half an hour before it occurred to him she might be humoring him. He suggested they join the next games and she agreed with a smile.

They played at different tables.

Later that night he went to his weekly appointment. 23:00-24:00 could make or break his weekends, but that night Moruka-shujin worked him over so well. He was loose-limbed and easy in the following days.

Sunday night he dreamed about Nasakeko’s sweet face twisting into a sneer as she called him a useless shitbag. He woke up breathless and painfully hard and had to jerk off before he could get back to sleep.

And then he slept very peacefully.

He had been in therapy, and compartmentalizing, for enough of his life not to be thrown for a loop by this. The brain brought forth what it wanted to, for dreams. He wasn’t bothered.

He continued to talk with Nasakeko at game nights, and at karaoke outings, and the other things Toramatsu’s group got up to.

One weekend in late summer he was taking his landlady’s trash downstairs and the little art teacher’s voice came from the mouth of the alley, clear in the mellow morning air.

“Tadakatsu?”

“Hey! Nice surprise. What are you doing up so early?”

“I’m going to a coffeehouse near the station. It’s cozy, and usually quiet,” she continued “And the people there are nice. I like sketching there sometimes.” She patted the bag at her hip. Colorful buttons and ribbons on the strap made her look very much like someone who worked with children.

His own elementary school teachers had all been so nice. He liked knowing kids had someone like Nasakeko guiding their early days.

“Am I keeping you?” she asked politely after a moment, nodding at the bag hanging from his hand.

Tadakatsu realized he’d just been smiling at her. He laughed at himself. “No, sorry. Reminiscing about art teachers! You guys are a good group. Some days I wish I was back in elementary school.”

Her smile widened. “It’s not a bad gig most of the time,” she said.

The part of him that liked being with people more than being by himself seized on the friendliness of her face.

“Would you mind if I joined you for coffee?”

She blinked but her smile widened further still.

“Not at all,” she said pleasantly. “That would be very nice. Would you like the address?”

“No need,” he said with another smile of his own.

He tossed the landlady’s trash in the bin, raced upstairs to wash his hands and put on proper shoes, and raced back down to walk to coffee.

They chatted pleasantly on the way, and despite the early hour, the need coffee hour, the coffeehouse she took them to was nearly empty. They got drinks and found a table tucked into a corner. The sun was coming into the room without glare and the murmur of customers ordering and leaving the bar made the place feel cozy, as she’d said.

After Nasakeko’s first appreciative sip of her drink, she took a deep breath.

“I’m glad I saw you this morning. I’ve been wondering if you might like to get drinks. More like a date than these drinks.” The little raise of her shoulders and the lilt of her laugh were adorable and so very endearing.

This morning had been a perfect happy coincidence. But… this would never do; he did not think the two of them would be able to give each other what they individually expected out of a relationship. He could separate the platonic and sexual parts of his life, but he didn’t think he could have a romantic relationship with someone without the sexual component.

He tried to smile. He tried not to let it look like a wince.

“I’m not…”

Augh, how to put this. Her question deserved sincerity, but providing anything more than a sincere “no” would be hard. He liked their fledgling friendship. But now she was looking at him with a sad little grin.

“No?” she offered gently.

“No,” he was able to say, relieved, her gentleness laying a path for his honesty. And if she could be that gracious, the minimum courtesy he felt he owed her was to tell her why.

…in a way.

“I don’t think we would be compatible on a romantic level. I’ve noticed how gentle and considerate you are; you seem to take very good care of your friends.”

Was he treading this line carefully enough? What he said didn’t sound like a very good reason a “normal” person wouldn’t date someone. He didn’t have any shame about who he was, but he did keep it private.

Her eyebrows drew together in a delicate frown, and her cheeks pinked to the most objectively darling color. What was he even doing here?

After a moment she said “I’m flattered that you think so.” Her whole demeanor was soft. Demure. Gentle. Those doe eyes didn’t do anything for him sexually but the soft parts of his heart, they made the skin of his arms itchy to go around her, comfort her. As a friend. She was… easy to treasure, he thought. People like her needed to be protected. From the harsh world. From people who liked harshness.

That thinking was patronizing and he told himself to knock it off. They were both adults.

“I really try, so it makes me happy that you’ve observed that,” Nasakeko went on. “I do like taking care of people.”

Her expression was very open, like she was leaving space for him to speak, but it didn’t pressure. It reminded him of looks he’d gotten from teachers over the years. It reminded him that she was a teacher.

He just held her gaze, working the inside of his cheek and struggling to come up with something to say.

“When I think about it,” she mused, her eyes drifting down to her hands, “it isn’t as altruistic as it might seem.” Eyes scrunched at the corners in that smile of hers, she giggled at herself once and seemed to be inviting him to do the same. “It makes me happy to take care of people.”

He was a goddamn goner. She was making this so easy, after she’d been brave enough to ask and been shut down. Tadakatsu really respected that. He hoped they could stay friends. He would make an effort for that.

“Would it be okay if we got drinks again as friends?” she asked softly.

“Yes!” His voice boomed in the café, loud enough that the murmur from the bar area quieted immediately. His eyes were rolling before he could stop himself.

“I’m not trying to lead you on,” he promised. “I don’t know if it would work. But I would like it if we could be friends. Our own friends. Outside of Toramatsu’s group.”

“I would like that, too.” she said. She dabbed at her mouth primly with a napkin, removing nothing because there was nothing there. Then her eyes met his and she looked suddenly very resolved, fierce.

“I find you very appealing,” she said quietly. Directly.

She what now?!

Klaxons blared between his ears even as the pleasure of being… found appealing!… thrummed behind his ribs.

Danger, Tadakatsu Honda. Danger. Danger!

But… fuck it. He didn’t have any friends quite like this. He didn’t want to tell her what he liked yet, but he could see doing so after more safe time as friends. She never seemed to judge.

Nasakeko continued speaking, eyes sliding away to the floor beside their table. “If friendship doesn’t work, that’s okay. I don’t want to pressure you. But speaking for my own self, I would like to try. And it felt important to be honest.”

So reassuring and gentle again. Her presence was as soothing as a hug from someone who knew him and loved him. He imagined it would feel like that, anyway. He reminded himself that they were not suited as more than friends. But wouldn’t it be nice, if they could be friends, if he could have a friend with those qualities? Being the clown of all his circles was exhausting sometimes, and to just have a relationship based on platonic but real affection, where regard went both ways, and the effort went both ways in a more balanced fashion… wouldn’t that be something?

So they met up again. And again. A movie, a few small art shows, a special limited-time Final Fantasy café, a concert. Things they might have done alone but chose now to do together instead, as friends. They continued to find tucked away tables throughout the city to share as they told each other about themselves. But they had their deepest conversations at that first, comfortable café by the station. And eventually (it took exactly three more visits to the café in question) he coughed it up. It felt safe.

“Oh,” she said. As though she had turned a corner in a museum and suddenly a grand and vivid mural was in view.

“…Is that why you said we wouldn’t be compatible? If that’s what you like, I would try it.”

The sound of his throat clearing was thunder in his ears. Too loud, too loud. Calm down.

“I don’t mean to pressure you!” Her cheeks had colored again, and she was clearly dialing it back a bit. “I’m just surprised. And I want you to know I would be willing to try that, if… you worried, but wanted to otherwise.”

When speech was manageable, he said “That’s very generous,” and gave her a little smile. “But I don’t want you to bend out of your shape. You’re fine and whole the way are. We are fine as friends. I mean it. I like being your friend.”

Her head cocked at him slightly, her eyebrows in that little frown again.

Her response was quiet. “But you want yourself bent out of shape?”

He felt his smile go a little wider.

“Not so much the actual bending. I like it when people are cruel to me.”

“A masochist?” She asked, after looking around to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard. She said the word so softly, as though she wasn’t sure she was pronouncing it right. Gently curious. She should be a therapist. If any of his therapists had been like this at the beginning, he could have done without several unhappy years.

“Yes,” he said. Keep it simple, keep it true.

“You like to be hurt?” There was a new note of concern in her voice. He heard it as open worry for him, not as rebuke.

“I like it when people shame me. I like insults and cruel words. I sometimes enjoy being hit, like with yardsticks, or being walked on, but mostly for me it is words. I don’t feel like I need the hitting, but I do need the words.”

“How do you trust people to treat you that way but keep you safe?” Her voice was still all concern, no censure. And maybe a little bit of curiosity, he thought. Which was cool! This was like his form of birdwatching! Just… with orgasms.

Do NOT say that outloud.

He admitted that it took awhile. “But there are also professionals, and agencies. Ways to have some assurance with a partner I haven’t known for as long as it takes to build that kind of trust. Some people are okay with not being safe the way I think you mean, but I prefer it.”

She sat back a bit, face thoughtful as her eyes moved over the checkerboard pattern on their table. Today they were in a dimmer corner of the seating area, at a two seater with a bright pendant light over it breaking the gloom. They had the café to themselves again. He wondered how this place was staying in business with so few eat-in customers but was mostly grateful it was such a good spot to share.

“So what you enjoy best are harsh words?” Nasakeko asked.

He gulped. And nodded.

She made a thoughtful sound.

It hung over them for a moment, and to Tadakatsu it felt sharper than the glare from the light reflecting on the table and heavier than dread. He had felt like it would be okay, and had not gotten any signals that made him think he’d made a mistake in revealing this to her, but if it made Nasakeko write him off, he would be sad.

“I have never met anyone like that, I think,” she said after a minute, still sounding thoughtful. “I have never met anyone like you.”

He let his eyes raise up to hers. She was smiling a little, tentative but genuine. Relief flooded him, goosebumps in his shoulders rushing down to his knees.

He smiled back and it felt so real and honest. He reminded himself they had barely scratched the surface, but he felt so known.

“I saw something this week that reminded me of what you said. About yourself.” She broached the subject gently, her hands around the afternoon’s mug of tea. Her nails were painted a muted goldenrod that seemed familiar. He realized it matched his boss’ new briefcase, the obscenely expensive Hermès piece that both evoked and dared comment.

He smiled. “And what was that?”

Her eyes flicked up to his, her mouth going stiff in some expression that wasn’t quite pursing, wasn’t quite a pout. It made him wary. He braced himself for bad news.

“My boss yelling at someone,” she said, deadly serious. And then she snerked, an inelegant little secret giggle, and he realized the tension in her mouth had been her holding in a laugh.

But it wasn’t held in any more. So they got to share it.

“Funny you should say that,” he said. “My boss…”

As they enjoyed their drinks, tucked into sofas in a sunny spot they liked best on a quiet afternoon, she asked respectfully about how he set up rules for a scene. He felt… touched. He asked her about her birdfeeders and what kind of art she made, and she glowed.

That Friday, when they both arrived to game night early and were helping to set up, she asked if he wanted to visit to the preserve where she and Toramatsu volunteered (he still had to find out what the heck Toramatsu did there). A pair of cranes had nested, and one of the observation decks was set up with telescopes so people could enjoy the special sight without disturbing the birds.

“Some people like to bring picnics or walk their dogs. There are trails open for those kinds of things, as long as you follow the rules.”

“What are the rules?” he couldn’t help himself asking quietly, raising his eyebrows in exaggeration reference to their last conversation over coffee. She laughed.

“Pretty tame stuff,” she said, pushing new game tokens out of their paper grid with her thumbs. “Pick up trash, dogs and bad boys stay on leashes,” she offered with a silly wiggle of her own eyebrows. It was easy enough that he knew it was a joke, believed it was meant only to make him laugh. But her speech was starting to get to him. When she said “trash,” completely innocuously, Tadakatsu felt his body respond.

He promised himself if this kept happening that he would explain to her that he needed space. How novel to feel like that would be safe, like she would prefer to give him space than to force friendship.

He went with humor to cover these thoughts. “Do you have to wear two leashes if you’re a bad dog? Tonbo could be in trouble.”

Her expression opened into an excited smile. “You have a dog?” she asked, and he almost laughed, she looked so dog-level excited herself.

“Yeah. Little guy. He’s kind of a goober.”

“Bring him!” she all but demanded. “Please. If you think he would like it. I like dogs.”

“Do you want to meet him and go for a walk tomorrow?”

She nodded so enthusiastically he could hear the tinkling sound of her earrings.

Damn, it felt good to make someone so happy while just being himself.

The next afternoon, sitting on a park bench, Tadakatsu wasn’t sure how to put a stop to what he was watching.

“Ah, Nasakeko,” he tried, “That’s… probably enough, on the treats.”

She apologized sheepishly, and picked up the pouch of tiny star-shaped biscuits beside her on the ground.

“I’ll stop,” she promised, zipping the pouch shut. “But you take the rest, please. I’ll probably sneak him more if I hold the bag.”

Tadakatsu took the bag, rolling his eyes but smiling. He stuffed it into his hoodie pocket.

“He’s not going to want to come home with me,” he joked.

“That’s not true. Tonbo is loyal and brave, aren’t you?”

And they were back to belly rubs.

She had fawned over Tonbo for the last five minutes, and the dog was eating up the praise. And the treats she’d made him. And all the belly rubs.

“Okay, you two, we’re here to walk,” he reminded them.

Tonbo snuffled but got to his feet and shook, tags clinking.

Nasakeko stood and brushed off her knees. In athletic clothes the femininity of her form was… apparent. He allowed himself to appreciate the way her leggings hemmed at her calves but then stopped looking. He didn’t want to ogle without permission.

“Where to?” she asked.

“There’s a loop around a pond we usually do a couple times,” he answered, pointing at the path. “It’s quiet and the views are nice.”

“Lead the way!”

She was awfully excited about this walk. She must really like dogs.

When they were on the path, she asked hopefully, “May I please hold the leash?”

And he nearly stumbled. Leash, of course, was a special word.

“You okay?” she asked, reaching out to touch his arm. Soft, soothing. Nothing untoward. Friends care about each other when they trip over their own toes.

“Yeah,” he said. “Distracted.”

She raised an eyebrow slightly but did not press. He handed her the leash. They walked in quiet for a moment.

“May I ask more questions?”

She’d asked for permission for that, always, over the last several weeks. He grinned. Actually, it had been a couple months now. It was fall and the park looked it.

“I figured you might want to. We don’t usually encounter other people here at this time of day. Fire away.”

And she did. Thoughtful questions, one after another, asking about more advanced practices. This was interspersed with her pointing out birds in the trees around them. She showed him the bird identification app she used. It was a little dizzying to go between the two subjects but he was glad she wanted to know and honestly, her birdbrain was catching. They made several circuits, rarely encountering anyone, until poor Tonbo begged to be picked up.

“Does he need water? I have more,” she offered, shaking her canteen.

“He’s fine,” Tadakatsu insisted, “There’s a spout at the fountain just for dogs, see? But he probably has had enough exercise for today.”

Nasakeko rained praise and more belly rubs on the little dog while the three of them shared a bench. Tadakatsu let her feed Tonbo most of the rest of the treats she’d made. The dog had the best nap of his life when they got home, while Tadakatsu marveled that he himself felt surprisingly… bouyed. Was that the word for this? He tidied his apartment and thought about relaxing with a drink, but decided that was something he prefered to enjoy with his friend.

The next time they walked Tonbo together, she said “I ordered some books from the library.”

“About birds?” he asked, looking over at her.

Her eyes slid away from his, clearly tracking a bird in the limbs of one of the nearly leafless trees in the park. Then her focus came back and she smiled.

“About sadism,” she said lightly, like she might have said “I ordered a book on painting,” or “I’m going to the shops later”.

He walked into a bench.

But then they talked about it. And they kept talking about it. A week later, she told him when the books arrived. He did not walk into anything. It helped that he was sitting down, tucked into their corner of the coffeeshop.

Mid-December was an absolutely hellish period at work. Tadakatsu was glad he had coffee shop time with Nasakeko to look forward to this evening. He was uniquely suited to the sadistic and scroogelike whims of his boss, but Tokugawa seemed to be on a bender of cruelty and the administrative staff were all at wits’ end. He enjoyed Tokugawa’s treatment and on some degree they both knew it, but Tadakatsu felt badly for the department heads and assistants because the treatment was brutal with no regard for whether you liked that or not. And it was just busy, relentlessly busy. He suspected Tokugawa didn’t leave the building at all, and everyone else left looking haggard.

Except Tadakatsu, today. The train ride was crowded and all the passengers’ coats didn’t help, but he still felt giddy. He’d checked the artist’s mark on those conference room watercolors and he wanted to ask Nasakeko if she was familiar with the name.

He could see her inside the café as he walked up, fretting at a fingertip with her teeth as she looked at her phone. She looked concerned about whatever was on the screen. When he walked inside, she was waiting with her usual warm expression.

But she seemed a little stiff. She told him she’d already ordered some food and encouraged him to do the same. When he came back from the counter with his drink, she flashed him a tight smile.

“Tadakatsu,” she said when he had settled. “I still want to. I really want to. Would you be comfortable trying with me? A phone call, first?”

He had absolutely NOT been a good enough boy to deserve this, but he sure as fuck wanted it.

“Doyouwanttobeinarelationship?” he asked in a breath, shoulders up, preparing for a blow (and usually, of course, he kept himself open for those).

“Yeah,” she said softly, and he could see the tension melting.

“Me too,” he said, dumb relief making him feel like jello.

They smiled at each other, sweet and bashful.

“…Would you consider trying it with me?” she repeated. “Could we please do both? I want to try.”

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Lately he’d allowed himself to dream, and he felt like he had been reading her right—she was clearly interested in this stuff, and investigating it. And his body had continued to respond to her speech and mannerisms, and he could tell when she’d begun to chose her words more carefully to reduce the chance she would arouse him. Maybe she didn’t know that was happening, but she was clearly modulating her speech and he thought it was out of respect for him.

“I know it’s a risk, and I don’t have first-hand experience and that makes it an even bigger one,” she said respectfully. “I have been applying myself to learning; it’s practically all I want to do with my free time these days except hang out with you.”

He loved that she was learning, loved that she was even interested, but that didn’t mean it would work. And if they tried and it didn’t work, he wasn’t sure their friendship—relationship?!—would survive. It was hard to handle incompatibility. He was reminded of the first time they’d had a conversation, a little like this one.

She had been the one to ask then, too, he suddenly remembered.

“I really like you,” she continued. “And I want to try it because I think it could make us both happy.”

Maybe they could just try it and see? She had only ever been accepting. She had been researching, asking him questions. Maybe. Maybe.

“…Give me just a minute?” he asked, holding onto her hand. She nodded right away. She made to slide her hand away but he squeezed it and she gave him a little smile and stayed put.

He really wanted to. He wanted to explore what his body would feel when she used those words on purpose. He wanted to see how her brain, observant and considerate, could implement ideas about what he liked. He wanted to know what she liked.

The way she’d just phrased it made sense with what he knew of her. To be willing to be harsh with him because she liked him and knew that was what he liked. That was a way of taking care of people. That was totally in character for Nasakeko.

“I’m worried,” he confessed. “It does feel like there is a lot of risk.”

“I agree.” She met his eyes, determined. “I want to try anyway. If you’re at all willing.”

His whispered agreement was out of his mouth before he could think to form more careful words or warning.

She smiled at him, a quirk of her lips that was amused and connected to him.

“Tadakatsu,” she said quietly, reaching for his other hand, and oh, hers was soft and warm and real and touching him, “I don’t want to change either of us. I want us to be together, and I want to explore how me taking care of you in the ways you like could make both of us happy.”

He blinked, his words in her voice startling him.

“I was just thinking something like that,” he said, a little unnerved.

“I thought so,” she said, sounding pleased. And she flashed him another new kind of smile he had never seen on her face. Instead of looking anxious, her smile made him feel anxious. In a good way. It was still her, but the usual gentleness was replaced with something he couldn’t quite pick out. Harder? Less forgiving? She had shifted herself somehow, her posture, her expression. It was tilting his axis in a disorienting and thrilling way.

It felt like it made every single hair on his arms stand on end, trying to catch the electricity of her gaze. Of all of her. He realized he was leaning forward, yearning every nonverbal way he could.

When someone brought their food to them, they moved to a more secluded table. They set up a time to try on the phone, and phrases to use to indicate a need to slow or pause or end things. He tried to pay close attention but felt a little fuzzy-headed with disbelief, and asked her to text him the details to be sure he had things straight.

Was it smart to attempt a romantic relationship and let her try her hand at working his kink at the same time? For her it seemed to be one because of the other. But both of these things at once, so new to each of them? He wasn’t sure about their chances of success. A scared part of him didn’t even want to hope, in case this burned them.

But he was also so, so excited. If things went well… wow. And she said yes!

When they parted ways outside the café that night, he reached for her hand and squeezed it, feeling warmth through her mittens and his own gloves. She squeezed back. It made the rest of him felt warm, too. And seen, and safe, and he was daring to hope before he even realized it.

He pulled her hand gently upward, asking permission with his eyes. When she smiled at him, more fondly than he could ever remember being looked at, he bent his mouth to the back of her hand. The wool of her mitten scratched but yielded to the press of his lips. Up close he saw tiny metallic threads in the yarn, reflecting the lights around them.

Nasakeko sighed his name like it was her favorite word, her breath making a tiny cloud in the cold. He grinned at her.

Tadakatsu walked home. Or maybe he floated.

It started to snow.

He emailed Moruka-shujin first thing in the morning to ask if could call and speak to her informally. She gave her permission and a convenient time that afternoon to call.

“Mr. Honda,” she said pleasantly when she picked up, “can I help you with something?”

Everything about her voice sounded so different on the phone, and her use of his family name was almost jarring. He didn’t require much aftercare in their sessions, so he was unused to her being so overtly respectful.

“I am going to try a short scene over the phone with a woman I am seeing.”

Moruka-shujin seemed to be waiting.

“Do you have any advice?” he asked.

“…I will answer your questions because you have been an exemplary client, but I want to make it clear this is out of the bounds of what you should expect from me,” Moruka-shujin said primly. “Does she know you’ve engaged my services?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately. It felt really good, in this moment, to have been so honest with Nasakeko over the last several months. He remembered her curiosity about his contract with Moruka-shujin, the delicate way she had asked questions.

“You’ve set up safe words?”

“Yes.”

“Is she in the community?”

“No.”

“…is this her first time doing this?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“Do you think this is a good idea?”

“I’m not sure, Moruka-shujin,” he confessed. “But she said she wanted to try, and when she did I believed her and I did not want to resist trying with her anymore.”

He could hear heeled shoes clicking in a hallway on the other end of the call, slowing to a stop. Moruka-shujin sighed.

“Have you discussed what you will do during this call?”

“We’ve framed things,” he said carefully, remembering what they had discussed. “This is meant as a sort of trial. I’m letting her explore talking to me. We discussed my hard stops and have individual ‘stop’ and ‘full stop’ terms.”

“Stick to those safewords, then,” came her advice at last. “You need to be prepared to guide the conversation, and I don’t know if that will do anything for you. So I think it would be very wise to manage your expectations. And by that I mean reduce them. To nothing.”

“Thank you,” he said, meaning it.

“When is this call?”

“Thursday. Six.”

Another sigh, and perhaps the tiniest hum of concern. He couldn’t be sure.

“I am free that night at 9. I will keep the appointment open in case… you have need.”

“Thank you for that very gracious offer,” he said, meaning that, too.

Tadakatsu was able to cut out early after the company holiday party on Thursday– which managed to be fun for all present because Tokugawa had been required (by his own design, Tadakatsu suspected) to participate in a sudden international conference call and did not deign to put in an appearance. The trains weren’t crazy yet so he made it home at midafternoon.

He took Tonbo for a walk, brought the landlady’s mail in, and changed into clothes for being comfy at home. He tried to meditate. He tried to play video games. He had so much nervous energy he considered getting redressed and taking Tonbo for another walk.

Tadakatsu wanted to be brave, and didn’t want to make Nasakeko worry. But he still fretted for a moment before he called her. This felt like way more than telling her about what he liked. This felt like a huge exploitable vulnerability. If she tried it and didn’t like it, would her concern for him become judgement? Would she dismiss him—not to play, for real? The idea made him feel cold.

18:02. Ah, shit shit shit! But also… this might be good.

One ring. Two. Three.

And then air.

“We agreed on six,” her voice was flat and sharp at the same time, the side of a fine knife. He had never heard this tone from her. It was a heady thing, and he shuddered. The lack of preamble might have been the best part. She just started on. “It is after six.”

“We did,” he agreed pleasantly. “I’m sorry. I was ready but… waited.”

“Your pleasantries don’t mitigate your mistake or impress me,” she said waspishly. Her voice wasn’t wavering at all. He heart was beating a coked-up march in his chest but he tried to keep mellow, let this play out how it would. Manage your expectations, he told himself.

“How could I impress you?” he asked obsequiously.

“Stop fucking up,” came her exasperated response. “How do you even function? There’s a clock on the phone you’re calling me from. Are you an actual imbecile?”

He could feel his mouth opening, silently shaking. His palm went to his cock before he could stop himself, stiffening and hot beneath his pajama pants. He pulled the hand back, gripped his other elbow with it. Focus. The little art teacher had a cruel streak, did she?

“I like it when you talk that way, you know,” he said, letting the pleasure tremble his voice. They were here. Might as well.

She breathed through her nose, sounding irritated. Sounding like she was rolling her eyes. Oh, he’d like to see that, someday. See her disgusted and sneering and pushing him away with a heeled boot that laced halfway up her thighs, hear a cutting laugh as she told him he was a worthless pervert.

His reverie was broken, and then reformed, by her voice.

“Talk to you like you’re an idiot, you mean. Should I stick to monosyllables?”

Fuck! Had she been a mean girl in school? This was so believable…

“You can use whatever words you like with me,” he promised, voice going to honey.

“Oh? Here are some of my favorites: Don’t. Waste. My. Fucking. Time.”

So sharp, so good, so disdainful, so consistent, so angry with him. Hissing like a viper. The enunciation had him biting his lip, eyes narrowing.

Too good, but too fast. Brakes. Brakes!

“I-I need the recipe for that cake,” he croaked. Instantly the air changed. He could hear her own slow breaths.

“Tadakatsu,” she whispered, “Are you okay?”

“Yes, baby. I’m… I’m okay. Good job.”

“I liked doing it,” she confessed, sounding a little breathless herself. “I liked a lot about that. Can we try again sometime?”

They made new plans and rules. And then they did try again. Right then.

Nasake means “compassion, pity, affection,” which I hope is a nice nod to her nature as a switch– when this character likes/loves, she gets fulfillment out of providing her partner (or partners) what they enjoy.

Tadakatsu’s dog is named Tonbo after one of the real Honda Tadakatsu’s famous weapons, the spear Tonbokiri. Tonbo is “dragonfly,” and since I wanted something partnered to him and pictured giant Tadakatsu living in an apartment and having a liiiiiiitle dog, that fit for me.

I’m so grateful to @shikikira for introducing me to the -shujin suffix, as I understand it a gender-neutral term that can be used for “mistress,” which is how I believe Tadakatsu would refer to a person he has contracted to denigrate him. @karalija and @rubyleeray gave me my first feedback on this and bolstered my confidence AS USUAL and I can’t thank them enough, ever. I’m also veryveryvery thankful to @han-pan who gave me helpful feedback several times and suggested the kiss on the back of the hand, which might be my favorite thing in the whole damn story! SO SWEET. BEETUS. HALP.

When this publishes on the gift exchange, I’ll reblog it with some notes I think are fun that didn’t make it into the story. <3

Jane, I think you are marvelous and I hope you had wonderful holidays!

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Yukimura’s Pokémon Emergency! (Help from a rival and a new friend?!)

Yukimura, a budding Pokemon trainer, encounters his first major crisis when a Pokemon needs his help. Along the way, he meets Team Rocket and a few new friends too. Can Yukimura save the injured Pokemon before it’s too late and keep Team Rocket from getting their hands on it? Find out in this episode of Pokemon: Sengoku League! (For @aqua-pikachu, from @tentori21)

“Date Masamune! I challenge you to a duel!” He had declared triumphantly, confidently. Masamune simply looked at him incredulously.

“Here? That’s a total waste of time.” He started to walk away, blowing Yukimura off as if he were nothing. That was a surefire way to get Yukimura even more fired up.

“What’s the matter, Date? Are you afraid of losing?” His blue eyes shone as he taunted his rival, positive that jab would get some kind of reaction out of the stoic young man.

“There’s no point in fighting right now. There’s nothing to gain from it.” Masamune’s older friend, Kojuro commented from behind him.

“Exactly. We’ll face each other another day, Sanada.” And with that, his rival was gone.

“I just don’t get it, why would it have been pointless for us to fight?” Yukimura wondered as he turned to his mentor and renowned Pokemon Master, Takeda Shingen.

“You just picked your first Pokemon, Yukimura. You are asking a creature you just met to fight for you.” He explained with a gravely serious face. “You don’t know anything about each other. Even if you could get it to fight for you, you could have gotten it seriously hurt.” He handed his young pupil a Pokedex. “The most important step to becoming a Pokemon Master is understanding not only your own limits, but the limits of your Pokemon as well. The next most important thing you need to learn is how to push past those limits.”

“I… think I understand.” Yukimura gazed down at the Pokedex then back up at his mentor.

“Good. Now get ready. You have a long road ahead of you if you want to become a Pokemon Master.”

“YEAH!” Yukimura pumped his fist in the air jubilantly before racing out of the room.

“I wanna be the very best… Like no one ever was…” Yukimura sang aloud, slightly off key, to the music flowing out of his earbuds. “To catch them is my real test! To train them is my cause!”

The sun shone down warm and golden in the sky above. Before him were rolling hills of grass and wildflowers on either side of the road. “I will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Teach Pokemon, to understand the power that’s inside!” He emphasized the lyrics from time to time with obvious hand gestures. Stopping occasionally in the middle of the road as he did.

There was a forest ahead of him that he was aiming for. He had heard rumors of a cave in this forest that had something that would give him an edge over his rival,  or at the very least it would make him jealous. Yukimura’s fists balled up at just the mere thought of his rival.

“I’m not going to let him get the best of me…” With new found resolution, Yukimura spurred onward into the forest. He followed the map one of the local villagers had drawn for him as he navigated the dense forest. After a half day of searching he found the rock face. The closer he got, the more his enthusiasm grew. Then he saw it. One rather rotund Snorlax sleeping soundly against the rock right where the cave should be. That would have been enough but there was actually someone sleeping on the Snorlax’s undulating stomach.

Yukimura peered up at the sleeping young man, definitely a few years older than him, as he slept. He pondered for a few minutes if he should try to awake him up or politely wait. Just when he had resolved to wait, a voice called out to him.

“If there’s something we want, we should just ask for it, no?” Yukimura’s gaze shot up to the young man who was now laying on his side, head supported by his arm, as the young man stared down at wholly disinterested looking.

“Oh well… I…” Yukimura blundered a moment in shock before standing up straight, donning a serious face. “My name is Sanada Genjirou Yukimura and I’m going to be the best Pokemon Master ever!” the young man quirked an eyebrow for a moment but Yukimura pressed on. “I heard there was a really strong Pokemon in a cave around here somewhere. Have you seen any caves?” His expression shifted to embarrassment. “Also, what’s your name? Is this your Snorlax?”

“Saizo. And no, this Snorlax isn’t mine.” Yukimura’s face screwed into confusion as Saizo rolled up to a sitting position. “It makes for a very comfortable bed though.”

“Re… really? You just… fell asleep on it?” Yukimura’s flabbergasted expression brought a ghost of a smile to Saizo’s lips. His gaze drifted to the trees, eyes narrowing as the smile faded. Suddenly, a Greninja alighted from the trees nearby and handed Saizo a piece of paper. He read it before folding it up with a sigh.

“Looks like it’s your lucky day, Yukimura dear.” Saizo mused as a playful smile found his face once more.

“Good job finding him, Greninja.” Another voice called and Yukimura spun around as another boy, also slightly older than him, emerged from the shadows of the tree cover. Rumble caught his attention and his eyes shot back to the cave. The Snorlax was moving but Saizo was nowhere to be found. A piece of paper fluttered to the ground as the Snorlax got to its feet and stared at Yukimura groggily.

“Take care of the big guy, for me. He’s more your style than mine.” Yukimura cocked his head to the side, puzzled. Yukimura looked for the other young man, but he too was gone.

“Well… umm… Hello, Snorlax! I’m Yukimura! Do you… umm have an actual name or is just Snorlax fine?” The Snorlax tottered over beside the cave entrance and plopped down again. “Well thanks for moving! If you’re still here when I get back would you like to join me on my journey?” The Snorlax rumbled in response but Yukimura couldn’t ascertain if it was an affirmative or negative response. Yukimura gave him a light tap on the side before wandering into the cave.

It was impossibly dark in the cave the further he wandered from the entrance. Yukimura took out a flashlight, flicking it back and forth to survey things. The sudden light caused a hoard of Zubat to flee from their overhead roosts out into the fading daylight. Yukimura watched them go and realized there was no way he could fight in the dead of night. He was just about to leave when he heard a low rumble from the back of the cave. It didn’t necessarily malicious. It sounded… hurt…

“Is there a Pokemon back there?” Yukimura pushed aside the thin shred of sense he had and pushed into the depths of the cave. He skid to a stop, horror passing over his face when he found the Drudiggon he had been looking for pinned under a rock. It seemed it had fallen on the creature while it slept.

“JUST HOLD ON!” He called resolutely as he pulled his Pokeballs out. “Mankey, Machop, and Scyther! I choose you!” Bright flashes momentarily illuminated the space as Yukimura’s Pokemon came out. “We need to help this Drudiggon! It’s trapped!” Yukimura pointed to the large rock and his Pokemon nodded resolutely the four of them sprang into action trying to lift the rock off the Drudiggon. They heaved and ho’d and gave it their all but to no avail. Yukimura slumped down to his knees next to the Drudiggon’s head, tears stingy at his eyes.

“If only I was just a little bit stronger…” He sniffled. “I’m sorry… I can’t save you…” Just as Yukimura was losing hope, all the light from the entrance disappeared suddenly and the ground began to shake. “No way…” He hissed through his teeth as he pointed the flashlight towards the cave’s mouth. The light revealed a giant mass tottering towards them. Yukimura’s Pokemon jumped in front of him reflexively. Squinting against the darkness, he just made out the distinctive coloration of a Snorlax. He jumped to his feet, a smile on his face.

“Snorlax! Please help us!” The Snorlax grunted before placing both of its large hands on the rock. Yukimura and his Pokemon joined in for one last push. “One, Two, Three!” They all pushed, and the rock lifted much easier with Snorlax’s help. With one hand the Snorlax pulled the Drudiggon out. The rock crashed down causing the whole cave to rumble. Snorlax carried the Drudiggon out of the cave, unbidden.

“Thanks for your help, Snorlax! We couldn’t have saved this Drudiggon without your help!” Snorlax cocked its head towards the path leading back to the main road. Yukimura followed the path of its vision. “Are you going to come with me?” The Snorlax nodded lazily as it shifted the Drudiggon on its back. “Thanks!” Yukimura pat the Drudiggon lightly on the leg. “Don’t worry! We’re going to get you the help you need!” With that they set off down the path towards the road.

They were still well and fully engulfed by the forest when a fire ignited before them blocking the path. The fire quickly spread until they were completely surrounded. Yukimura grit his teeth and clenched his fists. “A wildfire?”

Suddenly, a trio of voices sang out from the darkness beyond the fire. “Prepare for trouble…”

“…and make it double!”

“To protect the world from devastation!”

“To unite all peoples within our nation!”

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

“To extend our reach to the stars above!”

“Jessie!”

“James!”

“Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!”

“Surrender now or prepare to fight!”

“Meowth, dat’s right!”

“I’ve heard of Team Rocket! No good thieves running around stealing Pokemon!” Yukimura growled.

“It seems our reputation precedes us, Jessie.” An older man with purple hair laughed as he appeared in the light of the flames.

“Oh, look they went to all the trouble of weakening that Drudiggon so we could capture it!” A woman with pink hair mused with a malicious smile.

“NO WAY!” Yukimura snpped back. “This Drudiggon is badly hurt and needs a Pokemon Center!”

“Sanada…” Another voice called from behind him. He cringed as he turned around to see a familiar face in the flames behind him. “They took something from us… So, we’ll be the ones getting it back. Take that Drudiggon and get it the help it needs.” Yukimura’s eyes narrowed, he knew now was not the time to pick a fight with Masamune. He shallowed down his pride and nodded.

“Squirtle, I choose you!” Kojuro called.

“Horsea, I choose you!” Masamune called.

“Use water gun on the flames!” They ordered in sync and their Pokemon did as commanded.

“This doesn’t change anything!” Yukimura growl as he and his Pokemon crew darted over the smoldering ground.

“Obviously.” Masamune answered with a slight smile.

“Your not going to make it in time…” Yukimura skid to a stop just before careening into someone in the road.

“Saizo!” He beamed in relief.

“Sasuke.” A kid half Yukimura’s age scampered out of the trees and on to the road. “Sasuke can fly that Drudiggon to a Pokemon Center if you can get it in a Pokeball.” Yukimura looked back at the struggling creature. He gently rested his hand on its arm.

“This doesn’t mean you’re mine… As soon as you’re better, I’ll bring you right back here.” He explained with a sniffle. The Drudiggon nodded weakly. Yukimura pushed and empty Pokeball against the poor creature’s arm and it disappeared inside. He walked over to the boy named Sasuke and handed it to him. The child held it reverently as he whistled.

“Here you go, Momofuku! Take this to the nearest Pokemon Center!” He passed the Pokeball off to a Rowlit and the Pokemon immediately disappeared into the canopy.

“Thank you for your help.” Yukimura sighed, finally feeling like he could relax.

“No need to thank us. Your goal just happened to overlap with mine.” Saizo brushed it off and started to walk away.

“What is your goal?” Yukimura asked as he jogged to catch up.

“Depends on the day. Today it was keeping Team Rocket from getting the Drudiggon.” His voice suggested he was no longer interested in the topic. “The closest Pokemon Center is this way. Better hurry if you don’t want to be left behind.”

“Wait… you really don’t mind if I tag along with you?” Yukimura was utterly astonished as he stood in the middle of the road staring at Saizo and Sasuke’s retreating figures.

“It’s just like the song, isn’t it?” Saizo asked over his shoulder as he stopped to look back at Yukimura. “You gotta catch them all, don’t you? If you’re going to become the greatest Pokemon Master…”

“Yeah! I guess you’re right!” Yukimura put his body in motion again. “It’s you and me! I know it’s my destiny!”

A few days later:

“You know there’s a reason I don’t let my Flareon and Vapreon fight each other, Toshiie. You should have known your Growlithe wouldn’t win…” An exasperated young woman sighed from one of the benches in the Pokemon Center’s waiting area.

“How was I supposed to know this gym specialized in water-types…” Her surly companion growled back irritably.

“Here you go!” Nurse joy beamed as she passed a Pokeball to Yukimura. “You got this poor Drudiggon here just in time! Any longer in that state and it wouldn’t have made it!”

“Thank you for all your hard work!” Yukimura took the Pokeball reverently as he bowed. He looked down at it and smiled. “A promise is a promise! Time to get you home big guy!” The Pokeball started to rattle until he dropped it and it flung open. The Drudiggon scooped Yukimura up in a tight embrace.

“H… hey… we need to get you home!” The Drudiggon sat Yukimura down and shook its head no. Then it pointed to Yukimura. “You… want to come with me?” It nodded yes and Yukimura couldn’t have looked more thrilled. “All right. Let’s go!” He bounded out of the Pokemon Center into the street. He pushed his earbuds in with a giant grin.

“Come with me, the time is right. There’s no better team!” He pointed enthusiastically to Saizo. “Arm in arm, we’ll win the fight.” He linked his arm around Saizo’s and started yanking him down the road. “It’s always been our dream!”

“Well your dream maybe…” Saizo sighed in exasperation as he was towed along for the ride.

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

For @aeirwen 

Here is some Sunshine and Mitsunari for your Holidays!

(From @jane-runs-fast)

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

A/N: So! I got the pleasure of writing for @stars-over-omori ! *bows gently and smiles* Hello Doll! ♥ I do hope that you had a most magnificent holiday! I hope this fluffy little drabble brings a smile to your face. - @mandakatt

Summary: You’re snuggled up on your couch, under your most favorite blanket after decorating your living room for christmas with Mitsuhide. You are now content, and relaxed, watching the small fire in the fireplace.

Word count: 568

——–

You gently held your mug of cocoa between your fingers, savoring the warmth it brought to them. You had your favorite soft blanket tucked up and under your legs, as your eyes watched the fireplace, smiling softly at the soft crackle, and pop of the wood logs within. You leaned back against the couch after taking a sip of your cocoa, letting out a rather contented sigh as your eyes glanced about the room, taking in the holiday decor. It was your first Christmas together, and he had insisted that the two of you make the most of it. Your gaze landed on the almost too large real tree that you had struggled to bring upstairs to your shared apartment, decked out with all the lights and newly bought ornaments, including the one that Mitsuhide insisted be hung in the very front that said ‘Our First Christmas’. You chuckled softly, remembering how excited he had been when he found it at the store. You let your head fall back against the couch as you closed your eyes. The soft shuffling foot falls behind you caused you to smile, and you gave off another content hum as his fingers gently carded through your hair, brushing it back over your ear. You giggled as he gently cupped your face in both of his hands, and then kissed your forehead.

“Are you quite comfortable my Darling?” You hummed softly, and let your eyes open to look up at him. “No.” “No?” His brow furrowed slightly as his eyes widened with concern. “Nope,” you shook your head gently, giving him your best pout. “You’re not cuddled up next to me yet.” He blinked at you a moment, before he huffed out a soft laugh. “Ah, I see…” He kissed your forehead again before moving around to the front of the couch, setting his own mug down on the end table before he sat down next to you and gently draped his arm over the back of your shoulders. He gently took your mug from you and placed it next to his. You giggled softly as you gently nuzzled into his side, and he lowered his head to gently bury his nose into your hair. “Now, I’m comfortable.“ He laughed softly then, letting his thumb pet gentle shapes against your shoulder as you relaxed against him. You were so warm, and content that your eyes started to feel heavy, and you brought your hand up to hide your yawn. “Getting sleepy?” he asked quietly. You shook your head, effectively nuzzling your face against his chest a bit more. He smiled, and gently pulled you closer to him as he leaned back, his hand moving from your shoulder to gently pet through your hair. You hummed softly and struggled to keep your eyes open, before you gave off a sigh as you let them close, thinking that you’d only do so for a brief moment. His hand paused, resting on the back of your head as he felt your breathing slow, and even out. He smiled more, gently lifting his head just enough to kiss the crown of your head, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at the soft sleepy noise you made. Turning his head, he gently nuzzled his cheek against the top of your head as he spoke softly, hoping it’d reach you in the world of dreams. “Merry Christmas, my darling.”

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Spicy, saucy, mischievous Hideyoshi is going to take Good Care Of You, @actualangelmitsunari!

The pose for this drawing was referenced and inspired by this sinfully delicious photograph. I haven’t drawn in so long but I was so inspired to do it for you. It was a big challenge but I hope you enjoy it! <3

(Also little blip bloop, the gold in the background? It’s a blurred out image of Hideyoshi’s mon, which is a paulowina plant :D )

- @han-pan

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

Puppy Love

This is a present for @hajeema! I had a lot of fun writing this for you, and hope you had a wonderful holiday season :D Special thanks to @dear-mrs-otome for brainstorming ideas with me (and for organizing this in general!!) and to @kookie-doe for your amazing editing skills. 

Word Count: 8.2K Genre: Fluff Setting: Modern AU

*****

The alarm buzzed angrily, jarring Inuchiyo from a very deep, dreamless sleep. He groaned, face first into the pillow, moving only his arm to swat at the offending device until it was screeching no more. He stilled, the only sound in the room the occasional soft snore from his otherwise rhythmic breathing. The tip of a cold nose nudged the at the skin just under his elbow and he shot up in surprise. One eye cracked open, he slowly turned his head and came face to face with Mamechiyo, whose fluffy tail danced back and forth. Inuchiyo harrumphed, but his smile betrayed him. Mamechiyo’s ears perked forward.

“Aww, buddy. Don’t give me that look,” his voice, thick with sleep, croaked out over his folded arms.

Mamechiyo whined, his nose wiggling forward to poke under Inuchiyo’s arm.

“No, nooo,” Inuchiyo cooed, his voice dropping into doggy baby-talk, “You know I can’t take you out right now. I gotta go to work buddy.” He sat up and swung his legs forward, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he blindly reached for the lamp switch on his bedside table.

Mamechiyo danced his paws back and forth, his nails clicking happily across the floor as he followed after his master into the bathroom.

Inuchiyo scratched his head, “You got somebody coming today! I promise things will get better for you now. You’ll get to go on a walk and everything.”

Mamechiyo halted at the word “walk.” He tilted his head to the side and looked up expectantly.

“Oh, no. No. Not right now. No. I can’t!”

Mamechiyo darted excitedly back and forth in the bathroom as Inuchiyo turned on the shower.

“Hey! I just told you I couldn’t! Later! Later, okay?”

Inuchiyo stepped into the steamy shower, eyes closing as the warm water hit his tense shoulders. He sighed. He felt terrible that he couldn’t spend enough time with his dog, but things at the office were becoming hectic. Only a few more weeks until the holiday season was upon them, which meant end of year projects needed to be wrapped up, budgets had to be met and bonuses for employees were to be considered…it was a lot to think of. He wiped at the fogged glass and sadly smiled at Mamechiyo’s outline, curled up sweetly by the sink. At least he’ll have something to look forward to, something fun to do. Inuchiyo grimaced at the thought of all those emails sitting in his inbox already and sighed, letting the water pelt his broad frame for as long as he could allow himself.

He fussed with his french cuffs, pacing back and forth to make sure he had everything. He checked his watch. Not enough time to have a coffee at home. He shrugged his jacket on and turned back to Mamechiyo, who was already moping by the front door.

“Aw, come on. Don’t be so mad at me… you’re going to have a great day today, I promise.” He bent over and scratched his ears. “Be good, okay? See you later, buddy.”

He clicked the door shut, feeling a little down about leaving his best friend behind. He sighed as he waited for the elevator. When the door opened, he greeted the elevator operator with a pressed smile.

“Good morning, Mr. Maeda!”

Inuchiyo braced himself against the cheerful assault. “…Morning.” He looked up at the ceiling as the doors slowly shut.

At least the weather wasn’t terrible. For a Monday morning, it was actually quite pleasant. Summer had finally relinquished it’s grip of humid heat, giving way to a cool, crisp Autumn. Cars honked as they sat in traffic, and Inuchiyo whistled, happy he was able to walk to work and not have to deal with one more stressor in his day.  A passing storefront window provided a sharp, clear reflection of his suited form – admittedly, he didn’t look half bad. And once paired with a delicious cup of java from his favorite coffee joint down the street, he figured he might just fit the part of the dashing businessman he desired to be. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad…

His cheerful gait faltered.

The coffee shop was overrun with patrons. There was no way he could have his coffee and make it to work on time. Cursing under his breath, he looked around for a possible substitute. At the corner, a block over, a new place just opened up. Not too busy yet as it was still unknown to the local caffeine enthusiasts. The cheerful bell that chimed in greeting made him bristle and grumble, but as long as he could get his double cappuccino he would be less likely to murder someone at the office today. Hopefully.

*****

Holly scrubbed her eyes as she walked in the backdoor of the coffeeshop. She grunted a reply back to the morning pleasantries of her coworkers as she put her things in a locker. It was too early to function; her eyes were still half closed as she tied an apron around her waist.  An elbow to her ribs, earned the offending party a glare and a hiss.

“Well, well - looks like someone had a rough night,” Umeko grinned slyly, her eyebrows wiggling in faux suggestion, elbow poised to chip a in a few more jabs.

“Yeah… a rough night at audition.”

“Aw, don’t say that! You could get a callback today, you know!”

Holly shook her head, “I’m pretty sure I blew this one.”

Umeko pouted, her brown eyes turned down in concern before she straightened her lips into a thin line, rubbing her friend lightly on the shoulder. “Hey. it’ll work out. Maybe this just wasn’t the one. Don’t give up, alright? And if you need anything…I can help cover for you today.”

The workday began like a slow, grinding, headache for Holly, who moved in haze of exhaustion and disappointment. When Umeko unlocked the door and greeted the first customers, she was ready to just fall asleep on the counter right there and then. She decided it was best to keep her head down and focus on the drinks…sneaking a few shots of espresso when no one was looking.

The door pushed open, the bell’s chime forcefully announcing the presence of someone who was not in the mood today for…anything, really. A tall, well built man approached the counter, dressed in an impeccably tailored suit. His hair was slicked back, revealing a brooding scowl fixed over a pair of lavender eyes that were perfectly accented by a bright pink tie. His expensive shoes clicked on the tile floor as he walked. Umeko gulped.

“H-hi. Good morning! What would you-”

“Double Cappuccino. Thanks.”

Umeko blinked at how quickly he cut her off, then plastered a polite service smile on her face as she called out his drink order, a faint blush on her cheeks from his imposing demeanor. He nodded curtly, paid for his drink, and posted up towards the end of the service bar, flicking through his phone as he checked his inbox for any important items that needed to be done first thing.

“Wow. Did you see that guy?”

“Hmm,” Holly yawned as she pulled the espresso grind for the drink. “See who? Double Cappuccino?” She locked the portafilter into place and pushed the brew button.

Umeko shook her head, “Girl, you need to wake up and look around the espresso machine sometime.” She turned to take another customer’s order.

She stifled another yawn as she frothed the milk. A heavy smack landed on her shoulder. “Yah,” she cried out in pain, wincing and shoving the steamer wand down a little too far into the milk, causing it to bubble dangerously close to spilling. “What was that for,” she turned, bleary eyed to her friend.

Umeko rolled her eyes, “So overdramatic. If you don’t get your head out of that milk froth, you’re going to regret it. Double Cappuccino is like…a handsome, 20 ounce dark roast. You’ve missed so many good ones today!”

Holly shoved the steam wand away and began to lazily pour frothed milk into the cup,. “You know, not everything revolves around men.”

Umeko gasped in mock hurt, “Ah! You talk as if men are all I think about!”

She shot her friend a pointed look. “It IS all you think about.” She sighed and placed the drink on the counter. “Double Cappuccino!”

The attractive mystery man pocketed his phone and smoothly swiped the drink from the counter, not stopping once as he briskly walked out the door. Today was going to be one of those days. He took a sip of the coffee, and despite it not being his usual place, it actually tasted pretty good. He quirked his lips and headed off in the direction of his office.

Umeko’s eyes trailed after the mystery man as he stalked off. “Well, you only have a half day shift today. Hopefully you can take a nap.”

“Nope. No can do. My dog walking gig starts this afternoon, remember?” Holly shrugged. Times were tough and this one job at the coffee shop wasn’t going to pay the bills.

Umeko looked over at her friend with pitiful eyes. “Ah, it’s hard chasing our dreams, isn’t it? But don’t worry, I’m sure all this hard work will pay off!”

It wasn’t easy making ends meet in the big city, but Holly wanted to at least give it a shot. She gazed wistfully out of the window and watched.  as the passers by chased their dreams in business attire she could only imagine being able to afford.. She nodded resolutely. She was going to do it, too, even if she had a few sleepless nights along the way. Besides, her afternoon was going to be filled with puppy walks. That would brighten anyone’s mood, right? She locked another portafilter into place and drowned her thoughts in the gentle hum of the espresso machine infront of her.

*****

Holly looked at the address on her phone, then gaped up at the large, luxury apartment building. This was the place, but wow…she never expected her first client to be this well off. The doorman eyed her as she approached.

“Um, hi…I’m walking the dog in apartment P2?”

The doorman nodded curtly. “Alright, I just need to see your identification and business card.”

“Oh! Yes, uh…right here.” She fished around in her purse, producing a slightly bent business card and her state issued I.D.

“Hmm,” he scrutinized the card. “Alright, checks out. Proceed to the elevators. Penthouse Level.”

The doors ahead opened without a screeching chime or ring and  a refreshing wall of air swept her hair back as she stepped inside theall white marble interior. It was so modern and pristine. A fancy, purple orchid was propped in a glass vase by the elevator and she took a moment to admire one of its petals softly with her fingertip, causing the entire bud to fall and flutter immediately to the floor. “Shit,” she cursed under her breath, stooping to pick up the flower. She thought about putting it back, but the elevator doors dinged open. There was someone working the elevators inside. She eyed them, they eyed her back, then she smiled stiffly and crushed the flower into her purse.

“What floor?”

“Ah. Penthouse please.”

The elevator soared upwards. She reached out with her hand to grab onto the guardrail,  partially to steady herself due to the sheer speed of their ascension but mostly to maintain a stable grip on reality amid the extravagance of her surroundings. When the doors dinged open, she hurled herself out, not wanting to be stuck in there a moment longer. Never had she been in such a fancy place that there was someone whose sole job was to push buttons all day. She checked the numbers on the doors as she walked past…realizing that on the penthouse level, there were only two units, one on either side of the hallway. Her client notes said that a spare key would be left under the floor mat. She lifted the corner and there it was. It was hers to keep, for now… She thread it through her key ring and then cautiously unlocked the door.

Immediately she was met with frantic, excited barking.

Mamechiyo jumped up, his tongue licking all over Holly who sputtered and laughed. After a few moments, he calmed down, panting happily as she stood up and took in her surroundings. The apartment was incredible, it was the penthouse floor after all. But as she looked more closely, there were things that suggested her client was not as stuffy as his address made him seem. The bedroom door was left open, allowing her a glimpse of a large, modern bed with luxurious sheets balled up in a messy lump. Dress shirts that didn’t make the morning fashion cut were left hanging off the corner of a chair. Moving into the living room, dog fur was on every piece of furniture. A tv remote was left haphazardly between seat cushions. She walked forward towards the huge, floor to ceiling windows and gazed out onto the busy street below. She gasped in awe at the perfect view of the city laid out on the horizon. Mamechiyo licked her fingers, and she giggled back into reality.

“Woops! Sorry about that. Just got carried away for a second. I bet you’re ready to go for a walk!”

Happy barking and prancing answered her as she walked towards the front door. His leash was hanging on a coat hook, and beside was a note taped to the wall. She smiled softly at the terrible script…someone had written in a hurry.

Hi. This is Inuchiyo, Mamechiyo’s owner. Could you do me a favor and text me a picture of you guys on a walk? I’m worried about him today. Thanks.

She nodded and programmed the number into her phone, noting the similarity in names between dog and owner. It was cute, and she wondered what kind of person this Inuchiyo guy was. Definitely someone who cared for his dog with his whole heart…so he had to be a good person, right?

“Come on, Mamechiyo! Let’s go for a walk!”

*****

Inuchiyo thrummed his fingers against the wood conference desk. Sitting around a giant table listening to Mitsuhide Akechi, his company’s VP, yammer on for twenty five minutes about sales was about to drive him crazy. Hideyoshi Toyotomi sat across from him, pretending to take notes but was scribbling doodles instead, while Nobunaga Oda, the boss of the company, was now noisily crunching his favorite hard sugar candies by the mouthful. Inuchiyo was about to close his eyes in a bored trance when his phone buzzed in his pocket, startling him upright. He tapped the screen and smiled.

Mamechiyo’s big, open mouthed smile was greeting him, along with a message from the dog walker.

<<(Unknown Number) 2:15pm: Hi! This is Holly! Mamechiyo was a good boy today and enjoyed a great walk in the park. He’s napping by his bed in the big window and can’t wait for you to come home!>>

Another photo popped up of Mamechiyo curled up in the sun on his dog bed.

Inuchiyo had to stop himself from cooing at the picture. His grin spread shamelessly across his face as he began to tap a reply on the screen. Hideyoshi smirked and raised his eyebrow as he typed away.

<< (Inuchiyo)2:17pm: Thanks for the pics. They made my day.>>

<< (Holly)2:18pm: No problem!>>

He smiled and stuffed the phone away in his pocket and looked up to see Hideyoshi giving him an odd look before waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Inuchiyo rolled his eyes and looked away, trying his best to pay attention for the remaining thirty minutes of conference time.

After that excruciating meeting, Inuchiyo all but ran towards the glass door, wanting nothing more than to just get the rest of his work done so he could dip out for the day. He didn’t get far, Hideyoshi wrapping his arm around his shoulder as he passed, grinned deviously.

“Hey puppy…you got yourself a cutie?”

Inuchiyo swatted his arm away. “First of all, can you stop with that ridiculous nickname?”

“Aww but-”

“And no. I don’t have a girlfriend. She’s just the dog walker…and she texted me a picture of the Mamechiyo.”

Hideyoshi blew air past his lips, “Well you’re no fun. It’s always about your dog isn’t it-HEY! Wait…you said she’s a girl…is she cute?” He quirked his head to the side and bit his tongue.

“Is that all you care about?! And hell if I know, I’ve never seen her before.” He stalked past the open office work desks, noting the glances he got from his coworkers as they walked past. Hideyoshi winked at one of the girls and she giggled.

“You should really get yourself a girl, you know. Might take the edge off you. Just a little,” Hideyoshi jabbed back. “If you want, I can get you a date with the new girl in accounting…she-”

Inuchiyo slammed his office door in Hideyoshi’s face, who continued talking. “She’s cute! We’re all getting together this Friday for drinks. I’ll tell her you’re coming.” He walked off before waiting for a reply, knowing full well that Inuchiyo would just say no.

Inuchiyo groaned and sat down at his desk. Just two more hours to go, and then he was out of here…only to start it up again tomorrow. He tossed his papers on his desk and sighed.

*****

Sending selfies on walks became a daily habit. It seemed like Inuchiyo really enjoyed getting the photos, and Holly was more than happy to oblige. It was obvious he loved his dog, and well, she found his reactions to the photos to be adorable. She was always careful to just send pictures of Mamechiyo – because, why would he want to see her face? To Inuchiyo, she was just the person that walked his dog, nothing more nothing less. She mused as the warm sun shined overhead, contrasting with the crisp air that blew around them. Brown and red leaves crunched against the sidewalk underfoot as they leisurely walked through the city. The only thing that got her feeling a little…was it giddy, or uneasy? Well, the thing is she had caught a glimpse of what Inuchiyo looked like…and…she smiled like an idiot before catching herself and plastering a hard city poker face on. Inuchiyo had left some rental photobooth picture strips from what looked like a company party on his console table, and…Holly may or may not have drooled them for a solid minute or five. She knew she should stop obsessing, but it didn’t help that Umeko would not shut up about it.

“So, your dog’s owner is a hottie? Did you snap a picture?”

“What? No, of course not! That’s like…a total invasion of privacy.”

“Ugh, stingy. Well, hey…you have his number, right? Why don’t you send him a selfie of yourself?”

“Umeko! That is SO inappropriate, oh my god.”

Still. It wasn’t a bad idea…but, really, she shouldn’t…or couldn’t. She felt her cheeks flare with embarrassment at the thought of sending an “accidental” selfie to Inuchiyo. Mamechiyo stopped suddenly and she squeaked in surprise, then giggled. His tail wagged back and forth as he stared up into a restaurant display. Delicious, golden brown rotisserie chickens spun slowly by the window. She pulled her phone out. Inuchiyo would definitely appreciate a picture like this. She smiled as she took the photo, and sent it off. Almost immediately, a response buzzed back.

<<(Inuchiyo) 2:30pm: LOL! Look at his face in the window reflection! I can see him drooling!>>

<<(Holly) 2:31pm: I know!! XD It was so funny, I had to send it!>>

<<(Inuchiyo) 2:33pm: Thanks for that. It made my day :)>>

Holly smiled, opening up the picture on her phone so she could look at it again as they continued their walk…she took all of ten paces before stopping dead in her tracks, causing Mamechiyo to look back worriedly at her.

“Oh my god,” she whispered in dread.

You could see her entire reflection in the window behind Mamechiyo, a big goofy grin on her face. “Ugh! If I was going to be in the background, could I have at LEAST looked a little cuter?! Noooo,” she kicked herself for not checking the picture before sending it off. She shoved her phone back into her pocket with a sulk. Oh well. What’s done is done. She shrugged and continued the walk.

*****

Inuchiyo continued to stare at the photo Holly sent earlier. He grinned – what a silly dog he had, drooling up at those chickens. He was so absorbed at looking at his phone that he didn’t notice Hideyoshi standing behind him until he spoke, “Hey, who’s the cutie in the photo?”

Inuchiyo jumped, and cursed under his breath, “Shit! You damn monkey! You scared the hell out of me!” He rolled his eyes and held his phone back up. “And obviously it’s my dog, Mamechiyo. Don’t you know who-”

“Nooo, not your dog,” Hideyoshi groaned and snatched the phone from Inuchiyo’s hand. He pinched his fingers on the phone screen and zoomed in on the reflection in the window. “I’m talking about her! Oh? Is she your dog walker? Wow…she’s got a great smile!”

Inuchiyo gaped. “Huh? What? Where?” He peered over Hideyoshi’s shoulder.

“Here! Look at her.”

He didn’t like to admit it, but the monkey was right. She was super cute in her jeans and comfy sweater. Something about her made his heart beat faster the longer he stared. He suddenly felt an unwarranted jealousy towards Mamechiyo for getting to spend so much time with her. Feeling Hideyoshi’s gaze on his face he shot him a look, “What?”

The Monkey narrowed his eyes and gave him an impish smirk, “Are you…blushing?”

“Huh!? What?! No! I-!”

“Wow, puppy got a puppy love crush on his puppy walker! So cute!!”

“Bwha? I! No I do not!!”

Hideyoshi turned away from him, avoiding Inuchiyo’s hands as they tried to grab his phone back. He started typing with a mischievous glint in his eye. Inuchiyo kept lunging for his phone.

“Oi! Hey! What are you typing?!”

“Shhhh, stop yelling! And you’ll thank me later, trust me!” He turned, handed the phone back to Inuchiyo and scampered off while Inuchiyo assessed the damage. He opened his messenger app and felt the color drain from his face.

<<(Inuchiyo)4:30pm: You have a nice smile.>>

Murder. He was going to murder Hideyoshi when he got the chance, or so help him God he-

<<(Holly)4:33pm: !!! Aw…thanks! I’m a little embarrassed that I sent the photo. I usually try to just send pics of Mamechiyo…and I was hoping you wouldn’t catch me in the background, but…I appreciate the compliment. :) >>

Inuchiyo gulped. His cheeks felt like they were on fire, and the pounding in his heart made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He looked up, worried that someone would be staring and laughing at his overreaction. He shoved his phone into his pocket and quickly stalked back to his office, slamming the door shut and heaving a big sigh. Once at his desk, he pulled his phone out, placed it gingerly in front of him and proceeded to glare at it. That damn monkey. He grumbled and re-read the message, feeling his cheeks grow hot again. The smiley face at the end…was she really smiling over the compliment? He needed to respond…but how? He rubbed his face and groaned. He grabbed the phone and typed out a response…then deleted it. Another…no, that wasn’t good either. He flopped back in his chair and made a strangled noise of frustration. Why was this so hard? In a moment of desperation, he typed and sent with a flourish:

<<(Inuchiyo)4:45pm: :) >>

What the hell. Was he twelve?

<<(Inuchiyo)4:46pm: You’re welcome>>

Stop. Just stop before something really lame comes out. He threw his phone into a drawer and slammed it shut. How was it that this woman was messing with his head so much? He barely knew her!? But…it was obvious Mamechiyo loved her, and he’s not a bad judge of character. He shook his head – he was paying her, maybe she was just doing her job. How could he develop feelings for someone he didn’t even know?

He pulled his phone out and stole a glance at the picture one last time. He looked up to see his big, goofy grin reflected back to him on the blank computer monitor.

Okay. So maybe he did have a crush.

*****

A few days later, Inuchiyo got a text on his way in to work. He pulled it out of his jacket as he flashed his keycard over the elevator access gates, and then promptly proceeded to stumble. It was from Holly, and just seeing her name on his screen made his face flare up. He apologized to the person behind him for tripping them up, and then stepped off to the side to read the text.

<<(Holly)8:20am: Good Morning! Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know I won’t be able to walk Mamechiyo today. A fill in will be coming by later. I didn’t want you to wonder what happened to the walking picture today. I’ll be back to our regular schedule after today! Thanks!

He frowned. He could deal without the picture, but was everything okay with her?

<<(Inuchiyo)8:21am: Thanks for letting me know. Is everything okay?>>

<<(Holly)8:21am: Oh yeah! I just have an audition this afternoon and won’t be able to make it.>>

Inuchiyo blinked. He had no idea what she did outside of walking Mamechiyo, but he had always wanted to ask. An audition, huh? That was pretty cool. With a smile like hers, he could definitely see her on stage, lighting up the audience’s hearts with her charm and cute looks, and…oh. Right, he should reply.

<<(Inuchiyo)8:23am: Wow! Good luck!!>>

<<(Holly)8:23am: Thanks!>>

Inuchiyo smiled, then…in a moment of boldness or maybe because his brain wasn’t quite awake yet, he added-

<<(Inuchiyo)8:24am: Let me know how it goes!>>

*****

Holly blinked down at the text in her hand, a smile slowly creeping across her face. She rolled over in bed and squealed into her pillow. His sweet gesture made her morning, causing a warm feeling to bubble and bloom in her chest. She sighed and rolled back over, and with a big smile on her face she responded -

<<(Holly)8:29am: Will do! :) >>

She held onto the phone for a second, watching typing bubbles pop up from Inuchiyo a few times, before stopping altogether. She smiled, hoping that maybe he was just as giddy to chat with her as she was with him. She sat up and stretched. Something in her gut told her today was going to be a good day, regardless of the audition’s outcome. Swinging her feet out of bed, she walked to the bathroom with a spring in her step, ready to give the audition her absolute best.

Holly stepped out of the backstage entrance and heaved a heavy sigh. Well, that didn’t go as well as she had hoped. The crew read the names they were interested in having stay behind, and she did not make the cut. She shuffled her feet, kicking at garbage in the back alleyway as she made her way to the bus stop. She leaned against the plexiglass bus shelter and stuffed her hands into her pockets. She felt small, cold and deflated. Fishing her phone from her pocket she saw the text messages of encouragement she had gotten during the day, feeling a bitter taste in her mouth as she thought about having to reply to each and every one of them with a fake, cheery, “better luck next time :)” response. The bus rolled up and she pulled herself up, robotically waving her farecard over the meter and then plopping into a seat that smelled the least like urine. She leaned her head against the glass and stared out, getting lost in her thoughts. Maybe she should just go home. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. After receiving no after no for so long…it was starting to feel like the universe was trying to give her a clue. She jumped when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

<<(Inuchiyo)5:58pm: Hey! How’d it go?!>>

She pressed her lips together and sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that stung at her eyes. Before she could think better at it, her fingers started typing over the keyboard.

<<(Holly)5:59pm: …Not so good :( >>

<<(Inuchiyo)5:59pm: Oh no…I’m really sorry. Do you want to talk about it?>>

<<(Holly)6:00pm: It’s okay…thanks. I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I’ll be okay.>>

<<(Inuchiyo)6:01pm: We’ve all been there. It’s okay to feel down, but you should never give up. You came all the way here to pursue your dreams right? Keep fighting. Give it your all.>>

Holly blinked in surprise, the tears stopping as she felt her cheeks burn. Her phone buzzed again as an image popped up on the screen. She covered her mouth with her hand, hiding her smile behind her fingers. It was a selfie of Inuchiyo and Mamechiyo on the couch; Inuchiyo was holding his dog’s paw up in a mock thumbs up as Inuchiyo’s free hand made a thumbs up sign.

<<(Inuchiyo)6:02pm: We’re rooting for you!>>

She giggled, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sniffling her runny nose, chest growing warm at his encouragement. How was it he knew exactly what she needed to hear? She sighed and bit her bottom lip, then typed out a response.

<<(Holly)6:05pm: Thanks…you guys look so cute. I really needed to hear that. Thank you.>>

She put her chin in her hand and shoved her phone in her purse. Her insides fluttered in a way they hadn’t in a long time.

*****

Two days later, Holly was yawning to herself again at the coffee house. Another early morning, and there wasn’t enough coffee in the store to keep her from feeling exhausted. The irony was not lost on her; she smiled wryly as she snapped the lid on another to-go cup and placed it on the counter. Still, she had a happy smile on her face as she made the coffee.

Umeko narrowed her eyes in suspicion, tonguing her cheek as she watched her friend hum to herself happily.

“Okay, you are waaaay too happy. Spill it. Who’s the guy?”

Holly opened her mouth and clutched her chest in mock hurt. “Hey! Can’t a girl just be happy for the sake of being happy?”

Umeko scrunched her face. “Yeah…no. I’m not buying it.”

“Ha, well whatever. Hey I gotta go back and get more milk. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Don’t you run away from me, Holly!”

Holly giggled as she ran back to the supply room, smiling at Umeko, who turned around and greeted another customer with a bright and chipper voice so different from the sass she was serving just a few moments ago. She stood before the fridge to grab the milk, but looked over her shoulders to make sure the close was clear before pulling her cell phone out and stealing a furtive glance at the last picture Inuchiyo sent. They looked so cute giving her a thumbs up. She smiled and stuffed her phone in her back pocket, grabbed the milk, and shut the door with her hip. She bounced out to her station, setting the milk in the under the counter fridge before getting to work on more drink orders. Umeko smacked her shoulder.

“Girl, you have terrible luck. You just missed double cappuccino again!”

“Huh? Who?”

“That really hot guy! Remember? A few weeks ago? Ugh…nevermind. You wouldn’t care anyway – you’re head over heels for doggie man.”

“What?! Am not!!!”

“Mm-hmm…yeah actually, you totally are.”

*****

Life went back to its normal routine for Holly and Inuchiyo, except that they shared more about their personal lives over texts than just the general back and forth about Mamechiyo’s walks. There were words of encouragement for deadlines, how to cope with obnoxious people on public transit, and even just the sharing of random, unbelievable things one catches while living in a metropolitan area.

So it was totally normal for Holly to share that she had found another audition she was really excited about, and that she would be taking the day off again. Inuchiyo was really excited for her to try out again, and he wished her the best of luck.

And wouldn’t you know it…she got the part.

Holly couldn’t wait to share the news with everyone, but especially with Inuchiyo. The well wishes and texts of congratulation came buzzing to her phone all night, but the one from him made her smile the most.

<<(Inuchiyo)9:50pm: I am so incredibly happy for you. You deserve it!!>>

Holly must have read the text message over twenty times before she fell asleep that night. She was on cloud nine, nothing could get her down. The following morning at her coffee house shift, however, was like a wake up call.

“So you’ll have to quit your dog walking job, right,” Umeko asked as she checked the undercounter fridge stock.

“Yeah, I probably will…!! Oh my god!”

“What?!”

“Oh my god, I’ll have to quit? I’ll have to quit!”

Umeko looked around, “Um, Holly? Are you okay?”

Holly buried her face in her hands. “No! I’ll have to quit and I’ll fall out of touch with Inuchiyo!”

Umeko gasped, “Oh no! Doggie man!!” She stood up and rubbed Holly’s shoulders. “I’m so sorry…but hey! You guys can still text and meet up? Right?”

Holly shook her head, “No, no…it was a delicate balance, and now that we don’t have Mamechiyo to connect us…we’ll…he’ll probably stop texting. And I just can’t be like, ‘Oh Hey! I’m quitting but let’s get drinks!’”

Umeko shrugged, “What’s wrong with that?”

A blush crept over Holly’s cheeks, “I! I couldn’t do that!!” A frustrated groan escaped her lips. “I won’t have time to put into dating anyway, this schedule is grueling! I’ll probably have to quit working here, too, for a few months.”

Umeko gave her a reassuring smile, “Hey! That’s alright! You’re making your dreams come true. If it’s meant to be with doggie man, things will work out. Just keep moving forward, and don’t give up your dreams for anyone else. Okay?”

Holly blinked, “Wow, Umeko. That was really great advice. Thank you.”

“Hey! You sound genuinely surprised!? I am good at giving advice, thank you very much.” She folded her arms with a huff.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you,” Holly chuckled.

Later that afternoon, Holly left work to go on one last walk with Mamechiyo. She informed the dog walking business of her plans to leave earlier that morning, and they were quick to line up a replacement for Inuchiyo’s next appointment. It stung a little, driving home that Holly really was moving on to other things, and likely losing her one connection to someone that felt so dear to her…for reasons she couldn’t quite understand. She took Mamechiyo on an extra long walk, talking to him about leaving and that she hoped he would always be a good boy for the next dog walker. He whined and nuzzled her arm. He could tell something was wrong by the way she seemed to shuffle her feet and how she walked a lot slower than their usual pace.

Holly found a nice place to take their final selfie together, smiling at the camera with Mamechiyo giving her cheek a big kiss. She sent it off to Inuchiyo with an explanation about how she wouldn’t be able to continue walking his dog, how she would need to focus on her new gig now, and hopefully it would lead to bigger and better opportunities for her. She wished him good luck on his upcoming deadlines, too. She sucked in a breath and hit send. It sounded like a final goodbye text, but honestly…it felt like she would never hear from him again. She stared up at the clouds and closed her eyes, letting the sun warm her face.

“Here’s to new beginnings and adventures,” she wistfully sighed to herself.

Holly peered at Mamechiyo between the crack of the door as she went to shut it one last time.

“Be a good boy, okay?”

He let out a high pitched whine of protest that felt like a dagger to her heart, but she had to close the door. The lock latched in the door frame with heavy sense of finality. Unless some miracle occurred, she wouldn’t be unlocking the door ever again…she blushed as she quickly indulged a fantasy that she could be Inuchiyo’s girlfriend, with a key to his place…and then shook her head and scolded herself. She unhooked the spare key from her keychain and placed it under the doormat.

Her phone had buzzed earlier, likely a response from Inuchiyo, but she didn’t want to read it yet. She was too emotional and afraid to. So she let it sit there…it buzzed once more as a reminder for her to read it before it stopped completely. Finally, after she rounded the corner and waited for the bus to arrive, she allowed herself a glance. She was right, it was from him. With butterflies in her stomach, she opened the message and held her breath as she read it.

<<(Inuchiyo)3:00pm: Thanks for letting me know…and I want you to know that I’m really happy for you. Of course I’m bummed that Mamechiyo won’t get to hang out with you for his walks, but that’s just me being selfish. You should move forward and never look back. I hope to see your name in big, bright lights soon. That would be so cool, I could rub it in my friend’s face like…Hey! I know that girl! :) Anyway…thank you for all you did for Mamechiyo…and for me, too. Your walk selfies really made my day. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever need anything…you know how to reach me.>>

Holly smiled, a mixture of relief, a sense of loss over a hypothetical could have been relationship, and gratitude for his kind response made her feel conflicted. She stuffed her phone back into her pocket as the bus rolled up and set her jaw.

Well, this is it, she told herself. This is a new chapter and new beginning. It’s time for me to do this and show the world what I’ve got!

*****

It was a rare day off in the rehearsal schedule, and although she could be sleeping, something told Holly she needed to go on a walk today. She just felt it in her soul. It was cold, and she grumbled as she stuffed her hands into her pockets, hunching her shoulders up, and tucking her chin into her scarf to ward off the wind. The gravel path crunched underfoot with each step she took. She looked around – children laughing as puffs of chilled air floated out like clouds around them, dogs barked happily waiting for balls to be thrown. Her mind strayed to Mamechiyo, the fur ball with boundless energy…and then immediately to his owner; the texts they shared, the sweet words of encouragement and support – she marveled at how quickly a stranger had crept his way into her heart and couldn’t stop herself from wondering how he was doing?

A puff of cold air passed her lips.

She shook her head and kept walking.There shouldn’t be anything to get upset over, she got what she came here for. That big break she’d been working so hard for, and yet thoughts of what could be still lingered…

A familiar bark caused her to stop in her tracks.

Before she could turn around, a pair of fluffy paws knocked into her knees from behind and she stumbled forward. Mamechiyo looked up at her, his tail wagging at lightspeed. Holly smiled and squealed, “Hey Mamechiyo!” He jumped up on his haunches and pawed at her waist, coaxing her down to her knees so he could kiss her all over. She laughed. “Ah, buddy! I missed you, too!!”

“Oi! Mamechiyoooo?!”

Inuchiyo cursed under his breath as he hauled up the hill after his dog. “Where in the seven hells did that dog go,” he spat out, before inhaling another breath to bellow out after his dog. He reached the top of the hill and rolled his eyes as he spotted his dog fawning all over a stranger. He jogged up, smiling apologetically. “Ah, sorry about that,” he bent forward to reach for his dog, then stopped in his tracks.

Holly turned at the sound of his voice, the smile on her face faltering as she looked upon Inuchiyo’s face for the first time in person. He was more handsome than the stolen glances she took from his photobooth pictures. His dark hair was poking out in sections under a warm beanie; his tall, muscular frame was wrapped neatly in athletic wear; he had kind, lavender eyes that just…oh god, was she staring? Her heart thundered away in her chest.

His mouth dropped as he recognized her. “Are you…Holly?”

“Yeah,” she laughed nervously, tucking a non-existent stray hair behind her ear. “Um, hi!”

“Wow. H-hi.” He stared at her. It was criminal to look this cute in a winter coat and jeans. Her bashful smile was radiant, and he felt himself unable to form a coherent thought for a few seconds. Inuchiyo straightened up, his eyes darting back and forth as he nervously pumped his arms. “Oh. I’m sorry, uh…here,” he thrust a hand towards her, “let me help you up. S-sorry about my dog. He’s…ah, well, you know how he is.”

Holly laughed and Inuchiyo felt like it was the most beautiful sound in the world, causing his cheeks to burn, betraying his cool guy image. “Yes, I do.” She took his hand and hoisted herself up. His hands were warm around hers, and he pulled her to her feet so quickly and effortlessly that she almost smacked her nose into his chest. She looked up into Inuchiyo’s eyes to mutter a thank you, and it was as if time stopped for her…that is until she remembered they were too close. She quickly stepped back, and he mumbled a nervous apology.

“Ah! S-sorry… about that.”

Mamechiyo looked up at his two favorite people and cocked his head to the side, his tail wagging thoughtfully. Excited to see them together, he pulled back on his legs and popped Holly from behind, sending her staggering forward into Inuchiyo’s chest, this time actually smacking face first into him. Her hands landed lightly on his solid build and her heart thundered in her chest. He wrapped his arms around her protectively so she wouldn’t fall.

“Ah! Oh…oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She blushed. He smelled so good.

Mamechiyo pranced around to his owner, his leash wrapping around his legs.

Inuchiyo flushed a little, but smiled, “It’s okay. Are you alrig-uWAH!?” He moved to separate himself from her in an attempt to create a polite distance again, but tumbled backwards, his arms still wrapped around Holly. She landed on top of him with a soft gasp. They stared into each other’s eyes. So close…they were so very close and it felt like the world had stopped.

“Are you okay,” Holly asked breathlessly.

Inuchiyo stared up at her, his mind completely blank. She was possibly the most beautiful woman he would ever meet in his life, and he couldn’t stop himself from just…holding her to him. She blinked, a blush crept over her cheeks, it made his heart pound.

“Um… Inuchiyo?”

“Yeah?”

She laughed and pushed herself up. “I asked if you’re okay…are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

He scrambled to sit up, realizing that he had just been staring up at her like a lovestruck idiot. “Oh, no…I’m fine. As long as you’re okay…which, I guess you look, perfect. I mean! Good! You look okay. You are okay, right?”

She dusted her pants, “Just a couple dirty paw prints, nothing I can’t handle.”

Mamechiyo barked happily and Inuchiyo scowled at him. “What has gotten into you today, buddy? You’re acting like a crazy man.”

A pregnant pause passed between them. Holly bit her lip. Inuchiyo picked up the leash. He smiled as he thought of what to say.  It made butterflies dance in her stomach.

“Hey! So,” Inuchiyo shook his head, smiling at himself for even going through with this, but he couldn’t let her go. “Do you…are you free? Would you like to get some coffee?”

Holly smiled. “Yeah…actually. I have a break today. I know a really great coffee place I used to work at. Let’s go there!”

Inuchiyo beamed, “Lead the way!”

The walk to the coffee shop was effortless. Conversation flowed between them so easily, and although they were still a little bashful about being in each other’s company for the first time…there was a familiarity between them that made it feel so right and comfortable to be together. As they rounded the corner, Inuchiyo remarked, “Hey! I know this place! I would go in randomly on my way to work.”

“Huh. Really? I wonder if you ever came in while I worked,” Holly mused as Inuchiyo held the door open for her. Mamechiyo sniffed the air, enjoying the delicious scents of coffee and pastries as he followed in on his leash.

Umeko was working that day, and her face lit up when she saw Holly…then flashed to shock when she looked at Inuchiyo. She looked back at Holly and plastered on a fake smile, not wanting to make things awkward. “Heeey Holly,” she said with a strained smile, “Look at you! It’s good to see you. And it looks like you’ve brought a date!”

Holly flushed, “Ugh, Umeko! Geez. Yes, this is Inuchiyo,” she gestured down to the leash in his hand, “I used to walk his dog, Mamechiyo. We bumped into each other at the park and decided to get coffee.”

“Woooow! How cool. Awesome, what will you have? It’ll be my treat.”

Inuchiyo went to refuse but Umeko just held up her hand. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.”

He shrugged. “Alright…thank you. Um…I’ll have a double cappuccino.”

Holly looked at Umeko for a second, who was already staring at her and nodding exaggeratedly. “Sure thing. I think you’ve been in here a FEW times and ordered that before, am I right?”

He blushed, “Ah, yeah. It’s kind of what I always get. I dunno, I just like them.”

Holly thought her eyes would bug out of her head. All that time…double cappuccino man had been Inuchiyo and they had missed each other. Umeko grinned, “Yup. I tend to remember things like that because I make sure to always look up at the customers.” She shot Holly a pointed look and grinned, clearly enjoying the flustered blush on her friend’s face.

Holly cleared her throat and ordered her own drink. “You know, I’ll have a double cappuccino as well.”

“Oh, will you?”

“Yes. I will. Umeko.”

Umeko giggled and set off to make their drinks while Inuchiyo, Holly, and Mamechiyo found a place to sit. Besides that first encounter with Umeko, she stayed out of their way and they were able to chat uninterrupted. It was a lovely impromptu date, and in no time two hours had passed. As much as it pained them both, they needed to get on with their afternoons. They stood outside of the coffee shop, smiling at one another.

“It was really great bumping into you today. I had a great time,” Holly smiled, fighting to keep the blush off her cheeks. She was losing, terribly so.

Inuchiyo smiled and tugged on his beanie, “Yeah. It was nice.” He licked his lips nervously, and cleared his throat. “Hey. Um…you wouldn’t mind if…maybe I…we could go out? Like…to dinner, or something?” He wanted to sound so much cooler than he did, but the heart thundering in his chest made him feel light headed and it was all he could do to stammer out the words to ask her out.

“Yes!” Holly covered her mouth with her hands and gasped, “Ah! I mean…yeah, that would be…great. I would like that.” She could practically feel Umeko rolling her eyes from where she stood. Holly’s attempts to also be cool were backfiring, but it only seemed to charm Inuchiyo more.

He smiled boyishly, “Okay, so…how about tonight? You’re free, aren’t you?”

It was true…most of her nights were booked solid except for this one day. She bit her lip to try and stifle the goofy grin that threatened to spread across her face. “Yeah. Actually, tonight would be the only free night for a while. Yeah…let’s get dinner tonight.”

“So, dinner at eight o’clock?”

“Sure.”

“Italian?”

“It’s one of my favorites!”

“I know a great place. I’ll text you the address later.”

“Sounds good,” Holly scrunched her nose in excitement and smiled. She gave a shy wave. “I’ll see you later,” she turned and walked off towards her apartment.

“See you,” Inuchiyo called back, standing to watch her walk off for a moment. He grinned and bit his bottom lip, unable to believe his good luck. He rounded the corner, pulled up the address to the restaurant and quickly shot the link over to Holly over text. He blushed as he added:

<<(Inuchiyo)3:30pm: You have a nice smile…but it’s so much better seeing it in person than over text. Looking forward to tonight.>>

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

This is my gift for @koudaiin !!! Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed working on it 💖💖💖 @oresama-otaku

[slbp-holiday-exchange-blog]

The Gardener - Fuma Kotaro Fanmix

The Gardener, a Fuma Kotaro Fanmix

This fanmix is for @catchthespade and part of the SLBP Holiday Exchange.

Spotify  || Playmoss

The Passenger - Hunter As a Horse

Feeling Good - Muse

Biggest Fan - Hate Dept.

Heavydirtysoul - Twenty One Pilots

I Surrender - Saybia

Madness - Muse

This Strange Effect - The Shacks

Ready to Go [Get Me Out Of My Mind] - Panic! At The Disco

Out Of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums

Never Give Up On Me - Misterwives

Smile Smile Smile - Jeon Soo-Yeon

Author Note and song description under the cut

A/N: Hello, catchthespade! I hope you enjoy this fanmix. The genres vary from indie/alt rock to indie pop, with notable exceptions. I tried hard to focus on the genres you liked. :)

The first half of the fanmix focuses on Kotaro the ninja and his twisted personality. You’ll notice the songs in the first half feature heavy beats, since I tried to imitate the constant thudding in Kotaro’s head. The second half focuses on the Moment Stolen in Shadow story event and Kotaro’s romance. The songs are lighter, more upbeat. - @hajeema

The Passenger - Hunter As a Horse

“The gardener…you mean Seijiro? …Why Seijiro?”

“There’s something fishy about him…”

“Seijiro is a good person.”

“That’s nice, dear.”

[…]

“Yes…good girl…give me the look that reminds me why I became a ninja…”

Seijiro just leans against the doorframe, as if there was not a woman gasping for air in front of his toes.

Feeling Good - Muse

Fuma’s voice climbs in bloodthirsty madness once he sees Kagetsugu falter, his smile carrying terrifying joy.

[…]

With a grin and a sickening scrap of metal, he captures the blade with the chain of his kusari-gama, holding it fast. “Oh, how delightful! A little skirmish with the sons of the Uesugi…fun fun fun!”

Biggest Fan - Hate Dept.

“Saizo! Saizo, Saizo, Saizo!”

“I knew it, you’re so strong! This is why I love you so much, Saizo!”

“To think that a great man would grace a pathetic creature such as I with your presence…it is an honor, Kirigakure Saizo…”

“Saaaaaiiiiizoooooo!! I’m down here!! Please come kill me any time you waaaaant!”

Heavydirtysoul - Twenty One Pilots

His right hand is curled around a sharp, needle-like tool used for drilling, and he swings it down over and over again between his fingers in some soft of horrifying game. The thudding noise makes me ill.

[…]

“I can’t…must…kill. The pain will drive me mad otherwise! … And after it had finally gotten better, too! Kill, kill, KILL!”

I Surrender - Saybia

His laugh comes out in a hoarse croak, and there is a softness in his eyes completely counter to a moment ago. “I am in love, so much so that I could die.” He declares, looking me straight in the eye.

“I do, I love you to death…and so I’m going to let you watch me die.”

“No, don’t! You can’t die!”

[…]

“Don’t die…I want you around! Live, and make me laugh again, please!”

“….Am I a pleasant person to be around?”

“Yes, you are! You are so much fun to be with, Kotaro…!”

Madness - Muse

The instant my mission is finished, my ever-present headache returns. I close my eyes and sketch a picture of her with my mind. The stabbing agony vanishes as if it was never there.

(I knew it…why, though?)

(Oh…could it be?)

This Strange Effect - The Shacks

I feel itchy at her tender expression. There is a tightness, not in my head, but in my chest this time. Part of me wants to scratch at myself until I bleed, and part of me wants to bask in the glory of this feeling.

Ready to Go [Get Me Out Of My Mind] - Panic! At The Disco

“…Would it bother you that much if I died?”

“It would.” Her answer is immediate, no hesitation whatsoever. A sweet ache floods my chest.

“Then I won’t die.”

Out Of My League - Fitz and The Tantrums

“I may not have any charms of my own, but I can swear to you that my love is ardent and true. That I can.”

[…]

Besides, having her smile at someone like me is a luxurious gift in and of itself. I cannot ask for too much.

Never Give Up On Me - MisterWives

“Maybe because when I’m with her, I start to like myself…? Because I dream of a life where she loves me, and there is no fighting?”

[…]

Her voice squeaks, having kissed the likes of ME of all people, and I stay firm in the knowledge that I love this woman to death.

Smile Smile Smile - Jeon Soo-Yeon

That is the moment when it finally hits me.

(Love is just a byproduct…I’ve been coming here just to see her face.)

“I…I love the way you smile. I love to see the joy on your face better than anything in the world.”