sleepisagovernmentlie

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My grandfather just said ‘doggystyle’ in reference to his dog, he has no idea what it means. Help- my parents and I were practically dying.

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If for some reason someone’s on my page and not theirs, read it, or… something.

BREAK ME FIRST, BABY. [LAMS SMUT BC I'M CURRENTLY OBSESSED]

Alexander Hamilton goes looking for a twink to ride into next week. He finds a 6-foot tall, soft-spoken art student who blushes when handed a drink, says "sir" without blinking, and turns out to be a virgin.

Perfect. Hamilton can ride him, wreck him, and never call again.

Except things get weird when the kid begs to stay inside. And keeps saying please. And starts sucking his nipple while Hamilton comes a second time. And then a third.

Now Hamilton’s facedown in his own sheets, overstimulated and sobbing, while the polite virgin service top behind him apologizes and asks if he did a good job.

It was supposed to be a one-night stand.

Hamilton is not okay.

And Laurens really wants to make him breakfast.

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A tie. Again. I’m making a second poll for this.

For context it’s a high school/secondary school

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For my college au should I make each chapter normally a week or something, not posting schedule, the timeframe for the chapter.

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Read it people. Or I shall show up at your house and crapily sing Hamilton songs until you do.

The Grass Is Greener On My Grave [Lams Brainrot]

so anyway i just posted a fic where Alexander Hamilton fakes his own death via staged wine poisoning at a royal banquet—like full Shakespearean production, actual blood capsules, carefully rehearsed final breath, dies in John Laurens’s arms whispering “promise me you’ll cry” while staining his cravat red for the aesthetic.

and then he wakes up six hours later in a candlelit cellar, ribs aching, cravat soaked, and immediately asks: “Did he cry?” and gets told: “No. He said ‘the grass better not get taller than this.’”

and Hamilton just. loses his mind. he is ready to collapse AGAIN. he is ready to re-die harder. he is clutching his chest like a debutante with consumption going “HE DIDN’T EVEN WEEP.” meanwhile Laurens is back at his ancestral manor silently carrying Hamilton’s bloodied handkerchief around like a cursed relic, refusing to cry because grief is undignified and feelings are for commoners apparently

they are not dating. they have never kissed. they’ve maybe held hands once in 1797. but they are so deeply entangled in each other’s psyches that Hamilton planned a six-week theatrical death to make Laurens admit he cared and Laurens just stood at the grave like “hm. the lawn needs trimming.”

I literally wrote this because I read My Love Comes to See the Grass on My Grave (danmei, deranged, god-tier) and thought “what if this but stupider and gayer and with powdered wigs”

pls read it or i will spiral and thinks i am unfunny ( or don't i don't rlly care haha)

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Musical not historical

Please give me the answer to this age old question, I simply must know.

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Just a bear I’m almost done painting

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I saw a guy with an I heart bj’s shirt. Does he know what it looks like it means? Maybe.

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We’re all doomed now

I, have done the thing most of us swore never to do, I have three WIPs at once, and because I’m an indecisive gremlin you will decide for me.

Under the poll I’ll have a snippet of each (most likely first paragraph)

Zombie AU first paragraph (unedited):

Once the world had been normal, but that felt like a distant dream, not a memory. He had almost graduated college, he had friends, he had a life. Now all John had was shitty canned food and a metal pole as a weapon. He still had it better than most, he was still breathing.

Teacher AU (chap 1 already up so this is just the summary from AO3):

Alex is smitten with the art teacher, but for all his knowledge of words he doesn’t know what to say to ask him out. Instead he goes to Lafayette for help - somewhat willingly - and is given 'The List', which contains a handful of pick-up lines, some dirtier than others. He dutifully follows the instructions given to him by Lafayette. This is the tale of how it all plays out.

College AU first chapter (edited):

Starting college was not going well for Alexander Hamilton. It was raining cats and dogs, his dorm was on the top floor, the elevator was out of service, and to top it all off, he parked near the front of the school - the opposite side from his dorm - and now his beat-up Honda Civic won’t start. To say he’s pissed would be an understatement.

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That and I procrastinate like there’s no tomorrow

I, have done the thing most of us swore never to do, I have three WIPs at once, and because I’m an indecisive gremlin you will decide for me.

Under the poll I’ll have a snippet of each (most likely first paragraph)

Zombie AU first paragraph (unedited):

Once the world had been normal, but that felt like a distant dream, not a memory. He had almost graduated college, he had friends, he had a life. Now all John had was shitty canned food and a metal pole as a weapon. He still had it better than most, he was still breathing.

Teacher AU (chap 1 already up so this is just the summary from AO3):

Alex is smitten with the art teacher, but for all his knowledge of words he doesn’t know what to say to ask him out. Instead he goes to Lafayette for help - somewhat willingly - and is given 'The List', which contains a handful of pick-up lines, some dirtier than others. He dutifully follows the instructions given to him by Lafayette. This is the tale of how it all plays out.

College AU first chapter (edited):

Starting college was not going well for Alexander Hamilton. It was raining cats and dogs, his dorm was on the top floor, the elevator was out of service, and to top it all off, he parked near the front of the school - the opposite side from his dorm - and now his beat-up Honda Civic won’t start. To say he’s pissed would be an understatement.

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It’ll start as three, and then it’ll snowball into more and more, so we’re at the beginning of the end here. But thanks!

I, have done the thing most of us swore never to do, I have three WIPs at once, and because I’m an indecisive gremlin you will decide for me.

Under the poll I’ll have a snippet of each (most likely first paragraph)

Zombie AU first paragraph (unedited):

Once the world had been normal, but that felt like a distant dream, not a memory. He had almost graduated college, he had friends, he had a life. Now all John had was shitty canned food and a metal pole as a weapon. He still had it better than most, he was still breathing.

Teacher AU (chap 1 already up so this is just the summary from AO3):

Alex is smitten with the art teacher, but for all his knowledge of words he doesn’t know what to say to ask him out. Instead he goes to Lafayette for help - somewhat willingly - and is given 'The List', which contains a handful of pick-up lines, some dirtier than others. He dutifully follows the instructions given to him by Lafayette. This is the tale of how it all plays out.

College AU first chapter (edited):

Starting college was not going well for Alexander Hamilton. It was raining cats and dogs, his dorm was on the top floor, the elevator was out of service, and to top it all off, he parked near the front of the school - the opposite side from his dorm - and now his beat-up Honda Civic won’t start. To say he’s pissed would be an understatement.

[sleepisagovernmentlie]

I, have done the thing most of us swore never to do, I have three WIPs at once, and because I’m an indecisive gremlin you will decide for me.

Under the poll I’ll have a snippet of each (most likely first paragraph)

Zombie AU first paragraph (unedited):

Once the world had been normal, but that felt like a distant dream, not a memory. He had almost graduated college, he had friends, he had a life. Now all John had was shitty canned food and a metal pole as a weapon. He still had it better than most, he was still breathing.

Teacher AU (chap 1 already up so this is just the summary from AO3):

Alex is smitten with the art teacher, but for all his knowledge of words he doesn’t know what to say to ask him out. Instead he goes to Lafayette for help - somewhat willingly - and is given 'The List', which contains a handful of pick-up lines, some dirtier than others. He dutifully follows the instructions given to him by Lafayette. This is the tale of how it all plays out.

College AU first chapter (edited):

Starting college was not going well for Alexander Hamilton. It was raining cats and dogs, his dorm was on the top floor, the elevator was out of service, and to top it all off, he parked near the front of the school - the opposite side from his dorm - and now his beat-up Honda Civic won’t start. To say he’s pissed would be an understatement.

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Why are there so many characters?

High school au (musical) Peggy

Also give me ideas for what James Madison would teach

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This doesn’t help in the slightest

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Angelica gives me math teacher vibes.

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High school/secondary school for context

I’m gonna have to study this stuff to write a damn fic. Why have I done this?