slickjoneshq

[slickjoneshq]

Did someone say Degrassi? Like Drake, when he was just lil’ Aubrey Graham as Jimmy? Annoying ass Ashley and my boy Toby? Alright I gotta know what’s your favorite episode?

Have you ever just laid around in your robe all day when you told yourself the night before that you would get stuff done, and yet……here you are, binge watching Degrassi and ordering a pizza for yourself? Just me? Oh well, I could think of worse ways to spend my Thursday.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: a goal I can get behind. outside of karaoke nights and the occasional shower jam session, I don't do much singing. I'll leave that to the real professionals like you and dani. but I do play guitar.

SE: pretty is an understatement. I'd go with stunning. but the rest, I can't argue with facts.

SE: I mean I got no problem saying both. talkin' with you is the aim, but getting you in my lap while we catch up is a solid bonus.

SE: I feel like you reached way back with that reference but I've seen enough Vh1 to know what it means. kinda proud of myself. No cars were set on fire in the making of this haircut, fyi.

MJ: now I gotta know you're go to shower/karaoke night song? do you have a playlist? well shit, color me impressed. next you're gonna tell me you know how to shear a sheep or something!

MJ: you play too much. next your gonna sell me a line about how my beauty and the sun.

MJ: okay but if we're catching up, like it's gotta be in two separate chairs and probably over coffee. yeah, we should definitely give off the image of being coffee people.

MJ: you know what Sam, you deserve a whole round of applause for knowing that reference? so did you too sit in a salon chair arguing with Loretta Devine until she finally did what you asked? am I gonna be seeing you dance with Wesley Snipes in the club?

MJ: well since you've got me in the spirit of sharing and since I'm partially convinced you cut your hair as some sort of symbolism for something, how about I tell you I went back home to deal with some stuff.

[slickjoneshq]

imessage 📲 mercedes

jas: idk. i know I still insanely like him after like six months?

jas: and I think I'm wrapped around his like, huge, long, thick finger that I love to feel inside of me.

[a beat]

jas: sorry, my mind got sweaty and hot.

jas: how were they? the times falling in love?

cedes: as cute as Harley is, I’m gonna need details about your off camera work kept to a minimum 🤫

cedes: six months of crushing and giving the evil 👀 to a poor passerby who speaks to him? I’m no expert but feelings are likely there.

cedes: the first time was a religious experience. I’m not sure if I loved him or the music we made more tbh. living on a college campus didn’t help. But he ultimately led me to #2.

cedes: the second time was so deep. it was like my heart split in half and walked with that person outside of my body.

cedes: since I’m spilling my stories, you gonna tell me if you’ve been in love?

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: hell, if that ain't enough qualifications for a six figure salary and an assistant, what is? Toni Morrison would be proud. mezzo soprano though, I'm definitely impressed.

SE: my fave? you sure? come sit in my lap and remind me why I like you again.

SE: we'll talk about my awesome new haircut if you tell me where you keep disappearing to.

MJ: that’s what I’m saying! shit I could keep a sugar baby on that salary. let me find out you got some vocals in that strong ass throat.

MJ: I’m positive I’m your fave, like damn. I’m funny, pretty and have the kinda pussy that’s usually only associated with crazy women. I’m a whole ass package.

MJ: maybe “sit in my lap” will be our “I missed you”❤️

MJ: nope we definitely gotta talk about that “just left my husband of ten years” haircut Bernadette. Then I’ll let you tell me how much you missed me.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: you just might. something to put on the resume, I think.

SE: so is this a skill reserved for Sam or should I be jealous that you're ghosting everybody and I'm not the special blond in your life?

SE: by the time I see you again my hair will've grown back.

MJ: I'll be sure to put it right under mezzo soprano and former soul sister in slutting with Toni Morrison.

MJ: ghosting is my specialty as of late. and that I apologize for. who else is here to remind you that I'm your fave?

MJ: I knew that I sensed a Mercedes Jones sized hole in your aura. don't worry I'm back.

MJ: although we gotta talk about that hair cut.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: they're too busy not paying their workers to notice little ol' me. just like you didn't think I'd notice you were gone again.

SE: all I'm saying is the last time I saw you, your thighs were around my ears. I know my game is good enough to send a few folks to sleep with a smile, but full on disappearing? that's a new one.

[let's just push this forward]

MJ: I think I might have you beat in the fuckboy communication area.

MJ: where was this skill five years ago?

[slickjoneshq]

I’ll smile for you. Not for anyone else.

[slickjoneshq]

imessage 📲 mercedes

jas: have you ever been in love?

cedes: i look in the mirror and fall in love every damn day.

cedes: I'm just fucking around lol. but twice.

cedes: do you think your in love? have you ever been?

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: 😒

SE: I know that's strong enough for you to feel it. my side-eye transcends all voids and space time-continuums.

SE: imagine that, me judging you for ghosting, in every damn timeline.

MJ: Don't tell Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos you got that power. They might take it you in for testing.

MJ: you know you can say you missed your fave. like I won't tell anyone.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ DANI

DH: .....

DH: Get in my MOTHER FUCKIN BED RIGHT NOW MISS LADY

MJ: I gave you my fave pickup line because you're my fave.

MJ: Before I get in your bed a question.

MJ: Fave before sex/cuddling/pillowtalk food?

[slickjoneshq]

GROUP CHAT📲 KURT + JASMINE

JB: ignoring that last text from kurt in the name of being mature (i think that was part of this lesson - other than to call before meeting up with youthful mummies) yes, that's another detailed version.

JB: no. Sam spared me from him grumbling me to death, and harley and I fought. along with other things. and we're perfectly happy now.

JB: Will we be getting the vague version of your trip back home, mercy?

KH: I'm talking about the old man "fan" that Jasmine met up with, without someone there to watch her back, after she explicitly told me that I could go with her, but she 'forgot' to tell me about it until she'd already met up with him.

KH: Twice.

KH: That's not forgetting, that's choosing. That's choosing twice, actually.

KH: And then I practically had to drag details of their third (!) meet-up out of her so I could ruin my first date in years for the sake of making sure she didn't wind up in the back of a windowless van.

KH: She could have been killed, Mercedes, so yes, it was my business to tell, because the people who love her have a right to know when she's putting herself in harm's way for no damn reason. I won't chill abut Jasmine's safety any more than I'd chill about yours.

MJ: Skip me vaguing. Actually skip any personal details about me. Cause you neglected to tell me ALL the details that Old Man Winkle was here "here".

MJ: What's rule number one? DON'T MOTHERFUCKING DIE.

MJ: Kurt don't think you're out of this either cause you didn't tell me!

MJ: HER FRONTAL LOBE AIN'T ALL THE WAY DEVELOPED WE GOTTA KEEP EACH OTHER INFORMED.

[slickjoneshq]

GROUP CHAT📲 KURT + JASMINE

JB: ignoring that last text from kurt in the name of being mature (i think that was part of this lesson - other than to call before meeting up with youthful mummies) yes, that's another detailed version.

JB: no. Sam spared me from him grumbling me to death, and harley and I fought. along with other things. and we're perfectly happy now.

JB: Will we be getting the vague version of your trip back home, mercy?

KH: I'm talking about the old man "fan" that Jasmine met up with, without someone there to watch her back, after she explicitly told me that I could go with her, but she 'forgot' to tell me about it until she'd already met up with him.

KH: Twice.

KH: That's not forgetting, that's choosing. That's choosing twice, actually.

KH: And then I practically had to drag details of their third (!) meet-up out of her so I could ruin my first date in years for the sake of making sure she didn't wind up in the back of a windowless van.

KH: She could have been killed, Mercedes, so yes, it was my business to tell, because the people who love her have a right to know when she's putting herself in harm's way for no damn reason. I won't chill abut Jasmine's safety any more than I'd chill about yours.

MJ: Skip me vaguing. Actually skip any personal details about me. Cause you neglected to tell me ALL the details that Old Man Winkle was here "here".

MJ: What's rule number one? DON'T MOTHERFUCKING DIE.

MJ: Kurt don't think you're out of this either cause you didn't tell me!

MJ: HER FRONTAL LOBE AIN'T ALL THE WAY DEVELOPED WE GOTTA KEEP EACH OTHER INFORMED.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ DANI

MJ: Damn baby, you gotta be a parking ticket cause you got fine written all over you.

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

SE: well that answers my question about 'do they get cell service in the void'.

MJ: I'm doing well! Void life is great. Really dark. Doing some contemplating and deep breathing exercises.

[slickjoneshq]

GROUP CHAT📲 KURT + JASMINE

JB: Kurt told on me. To Sam. Who then told Harley!

KH: Guilty. Jasmine was acting like a child, so I told her other dad and we grounded her from playing with her toys. "Toys" here meaning the mummy that's been stalking her since she turned 18 :/

KH: Also, never in my life have I lost out when the question was "who's the bigger bitch", so.

MJ: Are you having a blood feud with the Evans' boys too of did I miss that?

MJ: Kurt Hummel don't make me pull out your government name. Firstly, chill. Thirdly, what toys you talking about? Was that your business to tell?

[slickjoneshq]

iMESSAGE ➡️ SAM

MJ: 👀

[slickjoneshq]

GROUP CHAT📲 KURT + JASMINE

MJ: So I thought time would resolve the issue (shit my birthday was a great excuse)

MJ: In the name of all that is good and holy who slept with who's man? Because that is the only reason I can think why you two are playing "America's Frostiest Bitch"