Some HEAVY good angstđâ¤ď¸âđĽ
the fall | b.katsuki - prohero!reader goes undercover
ââ warnings; heart breaking ANGST, a bit of comfort, not a happy ending or well, it is, just not the one you expect, vulnerable!Bakugou Katsuki.
ââ a.n; i donât know how many times i have deleted, rewritten, deleted again and rewritten again this piece lmao i consider it a win the fact that i just finished it xD also, i don't know if this will have a continuation⌠thou thereâs a high chance that it does because i loved the way it ended lol enjoy <3
If Bakugou Katsuki could be properly honest he would openly admit that being a Pro Hero sucked , approximately eight times out of ten. Mostly it wasn't for the times injuries went worse than expected or felt worse as time progressed and the getting old finally settled in the bones. If he could be entirely open about it, the worst part was when a hero had to take undercover work.
Bakugou hates it. He hates it so much, he could quit. And that was a realization that unsettled him, because this was what he had dreamt about since he was a shitty brat kid: kick shitty villains asses from left to right.
But he got to actually accept and admit this particular annoying, and again, shitty fact, his resentment about that specific part of the job, when it was your turn. When you had to go undercover, and so deep into it, that it had been two yearsâŚÂ two fucking years, since he got any news about you.
How fucking dared you. He wasâis your best friend, right? Then why not send him even a simple 'I'm okay, still alive' message. Not even a quick phone call where he could at least hear your breathing; he would know it's you, because he knew everything about you. Wellânot everything as he would like to. But he was your friend, you had confided in him plenty of times, you had been his partner since you were a little brat from UA doing your internship and he was the newbie Hero in charge of you. You have been through good and shit together. Was it too difficult to just let him know you were fine, fucking alive? Were your new surroundings too dangerous for you to not give any signs of life to any of your friends? If it was dangerous, why the fuck haven't him, or Red Riot or even shitty Deku, been sent to help you?!
Bakugou took another deep breath, face laying over the stinky bar table, hand holding a glass of something he couldn't fucking remember Ejirou said it was. Probably a shot of tequila with lemonade, given the strong flavor in his mouth. Fuck, he wished it was something way more stronger, like firewisky or some shit like that.
"Mina was right. You do look like trash," shitty hair smiled, knowingly and even mockingly at him, which infuriated Katsuki more.
"Shut up, ass." He wasn't drunk, but he wished he was. Katsuki couldn't get drunk because he had patrols to run that same night, he was not an irresponsible asshole, no matter what and no matter who.
But he did wish he could drink himself to sleep. He hadn't been sleeping quite well latelyâ or more like over two fucking years. Katsuki sighs. He knows he is exaggerating. He knows you. You don't need him to worry about you, you can definitely take care of yourself and he has witnessed how capable you are of it plenty of times already. Damn, you once even kicked his ass for being a jerkâ he won't admit it, but that was the day he actually started seeing you more than just a friend. Coincidentally, it was three days before you had to go undercover. What a bitch of luck.
"Todoroki said they were going to scout some of us to go look after her," that brought Bakugou's attention back, sitting up straight and looking directly at his best friend's serious expression on his face.
"I'm in."
Kirishima sighs, "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Fuck you. I'm going..." Katsuki begins his protest but Ejirou doesn't let him continue.
"Katsuki!" Both friends look at each other's eyes for a moment without saying anything. Until Kirishima confirms out loud, "You love her."
The blond stays silent, not admitting or denying it, looking at his best friend's eyes that turned completely professional and determining.
"I will go." He presses firmly and with no room open for discussion, which makes Kirishima sigh.
The red head looks down at the glass he is holding with his drink, a cocktail that had a bit of ron and orange juice, as he plays for a moment with his fingers around it. He takes a sip of it, and after he puts the glass back on the table, he looks back at Katsuki's eyes and says, "I'm not here to invite you to go. I'm just being your fucking best friend in letting you know about this."
Bakugou growls looking elsewhere but his best friend, annoyed that he lost the discussion. He knows by Kirishima's stance and words he is not fucking going, and it innervates him.
He really doesn't want to think about it now. He doesn't want to think about you . He doesn't want to worry yet all he does is worry . For you. For your wellbeing. For the situations you probably have gone through, alone. Not with him around to take every blast he could for you. Not with him to kick some sense in that stubborn head of yours, and vice-versa.
Fuck. He worries so fucking much it is already affecting his head, his performance in battles, his everything. Katsuki had even taken more work than he should trying to keep his mind busy to not think about you.
Kirishima knows. He had known all the bullshit Katsuki was building up inside him for a while now. He always knew when something was off with his best friend. So he invited him to have some light drinks so they could talk a bit, even though that is the least thing Bakugou would ever do. Especially about his feelings. However, Kirishima knows. He has always known.
And he was not letting his friend alone to drown in his feelings.
Bakugou looks at his friend when he feels his hand grab his shoulder. The intensity in Ejirou's eyes makes Katsuki's throat tighten.
"I will bring her back."
"I'm-..."
The explosion makes the ground tremble, and it was enough to sober Bakugou and Kirishima up.
They don't hesitate to run out of the bar and towards the place where it came, where also everyone seemed to run away from. It took them less than three minutes to arrive and both of them sigh in relief when they see they aren't the only heroes at the scene, as even Deku was already there in his costume, holding at least four villains under him. Uravity was close, she had at least ten floating in the air with her Quirk, and was setting one by one on the ground again as another hero would catch and restrain them, before guiding them towards the police cars. The scene is pretty much under control, so that makes Katsuki relax a bit.
Ejirou moves to action, offering help wherever he could. Him and Katsuki walk towards Deku, helping him with the four under him that are struggling forcefully.
Deku smiles thankfully to his friends.
"There's the bitch," says the one Ejirou is holding from the back of his shirt.
"She's fucking dead," threatens the one Katsuki is holding, which makes him angrily manhandle the scum.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Fuck you, hero!"
Katsuki doesn't have time nor the patience for this, so he doesn't care when he pushes the villain inside the car way more forcefully than he should.
Deku comes running to them as the cars take their way, and he says hopefully, "Have you seen Y/N?"
Katsuki's entire being ignites at the mention of your name. The thought of just seeing you again makes something move inside his gut that is annoyingly satisfying.
"She's back?" Katsuki hates how hopeful his own voice sounded.
"Y-yes?" Izuku frowns, "Wait, you didn't know?" He looks at both friends perplexed.
"Know what?" Ejirou asks this time.
Izuku sighs. "This villain group was a big one that settled in America, where Y/N went undercover. They were planning to attack this base intending to rob the machine that scientists were creating that apparently could send someone to the past. This group wanted to go back in time to erase the source of Quirks, so they could control everything."
An unpleasant chill went down Katsuki's back.
"Y/N has been undercover all this time, working and proving herself so she could get in⌠She even got in the higher ranks so they would trust her and she could fakely guide them here, where there's nothing but a handful of heroes hiding in this abandoned building ready to catch them."
Deku sounds proud, which Katsuki could comprehend. Not that he would admit that out loud. But wait, that meansâŚ
"How do you know this?"
"She hasn't been in contact directly with me, Kacchan, but my agency has been in this case since the beginning and there were loops where she could send information. She couldn't be close to anything or anyone from here or she could have been in a huge danger. But one of my sidekicks has also been undercover with her. He was the loop. From what he told us, she climbed very high; with a Quirk like hers, I'm not surprised she was the only strongest in there. I wonder if-..." Deku went on and on with his mumbling in fascination with Quirks.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. He really doesn't have time to listen to him. He wants to find you, so he simply walks away in search of you.
Two years. It had been two years.
He ends up running towards the entrance of the building, looking around, eyes searching desperately for a sight of you. Heroes and villains around made it a bit difficult, coming and going, running and catching.
Until he finally sees you at a distance.
You are standing there, on the side of the scene, watching as every villain gets taken by some hero and put into custody of the police. The wind around is making your hair float to the side. You have dyed its color, which makes Katsuki think that no matter the color, you still look beautiful. You are beautiful, end of sentence.
But the expression on your face isn't the one of a Hero enjoying victory.
The villains were shouting stuff, and it isn't until he actually pays attention to what they are saying that makes him groan in anger. Why? Because they were shouting swears and threats at you.
And you simply stand there, not responding and receiving everything they throw at you. That makes Katsuki frown. You have never been that cold, that quiet against villains. Where was your fire? Your hatred towards those scumbags-good-for-nothing?
But then your head faced forward, in the direction towards where he was standing. Bakugou's entire being is shaking in anticipation, hoping, thriving for this reunion. Then he sees your eyes. Eyes that were colder than ice. Eyes that showed only a glance of how broken your soul was. And it hurts Katsuki's own heart to see you like that.
Your eyes didn't seem to recognize him at first. Like you were seeing a very distant and almost forgotten thought, a memory that had been pushed to the deepest part of your mind and now just watching him made your brain hurt while trying to figure out the memory.
You then realize it's him , your eyebrows shooting up in surprise and you smile slightly. A smile that doesn't reach your eyes. It is the kind of smile that means "cool to see you, but not very happy about it".
Your eyes go back to the scene, smile wiped from your face and the stoic, cold expression back on your whole being.
"It's The Fall," Deku suddenly appeared next to Katsuki, making the blond jump a little, which he faked it like he was just changing the weight of his body from one foot to the other.
"The fucking what?" Katsuki asks, a bit pissed that he got caught off guard.
"The Fall. When heroes go undercover, they have to pretend to be somebody else," Katsuki rolls his eyes exasperated.
"I fucking know what undercover means, Deku."
"You're not listening, Kacchan!" Deku turns to him, looking quite serious. "The Fall happens when the hero has to return, has to stop pretending to be someone else. And then, they find themselves with the question of whether whomever they were pretending to be was their real self or not."
Katsuki gulps. "I didn't-..."
"Of course you didn't, Kacchan. You have always been you. Fight or die. Hell, I even didn't, because I have always only wanted to be a Hero. But not everyone-..."
"Oh fuck," the blond swears, finally realizing.Â
You are in a limbo. In trying to remember who you were, who you are and not; what you should do and not. The Fall was winning over you, as you suddenly moved to help a woman that apparently was on your villain team.
Katsuki doesn't waste time. He runs towards you, picking you up by the waist and walking away from the scene, towards the small alley next to the building, as Deku recaptures the other woman.
"Y/N!" He tries to reason with you as you start to kick him, arms and legs swinging in the air to try and catch him, hit him with all your might. "It's me! It's Bakugou! Katsuki!" You are screaming, not stopping to struggle, as he drags you away from everyone that could see.
"LET GO OF ME, YOU FUCKINGÂ HEROÂ â..."
You stop every movement and scream as you realize what you just said. He finally gets to circle his arms around your chest, yours trapped under his big ones. Katsuki is breathing heavily. Fuck, he had forgotten how strong you could get.
"Hero," he repeats in your ear as you settle and relax a bit in his arms. Your back pressed to his chest, his arms holding you strongly. "I'm a Hero, Dynamight, Ground Zero," he said, "Great Explosion Murder God," he tries to joke, his throat tight and almost closed with emotions he was trying to hold back âthis is not the moment for themâ, saying whatever he could to help your memory remember him, "It's me, Y/N, Katsuki âŚÂ Your 'Tsuki."
Sillence. Only your rapid intakes of breaths are heard between you two. Still, he doesn't dare to let you go. He feels like if he does, you will slip from in between his fingers like liquid, droplets of water impossible to tame or hold back. If he let you go, you are going to fucking disappear, like smoke impossible to catch, and fly very far away from him to never return.
Bakugou Katsuki is not willing to lose you again.
Your body starts to tremble as you sob, as you cry with all your might in Katsuki's arms. And his heart breaks for you.
"Shh , it's okay. I've got you, love. I'm hereâŚ" He soothes you, hands and arms holding you tight against his chest as you cry loudly. His hands start to caress the skin of your arms as he kept whispering into your ear.
Your cries are so intense and painful to hear for him, breaking every piece of his heart for you. He can feel your legs giving up, so he kneels with you on the dirty ground, not letting you go from his arms for even a second.
You suddenly turn in his arms, facing him. Yours surround Katsuki's neck and you hug him strongly, " Katsuki," you cry in his neck, and he wishes he was able to physically take the pain you're feeling right now and throw it very far away. Or even if he had the choice to trade it with you, he would. He would carry your pain, your sorrows, your everything, for you.
"I'm here. I'm here," he repeats as you cry, softly caressing your back with his hands.
Katsuki doesn't know how much time you waited there ânow sitting on the ground, his back against a wall while you sat all curled up against his chest and in between his legsâ but he notices everything is done and over when Deku peeks from a corner, holding his thumb up in sign that probably everyone had gone from the place. The blond nods, and Deku takes that as a sign that he could get close. His movements slow, careful to not startle you, put you still tense in Bakugou's arms when you hear footsteps.
"It's Izuku, love." Katsuki doesn't know where he learnt to be this careful and cozy with people, he thinks it's your fault. You have been the one who taught him so many things, that it actually doesn't surprise him when his big ass hands caress carefully and softly your head, reassuring you on that touch that it's okay to let go of him a bit. "Midoriya Izuku?" He tries his friend's real name, the one name he is sure you would be glad to hearâapart from his. But you simply respond by grabbing Katsuki harder, not letting go. "Hero Deku? OrâŚÂ shitty Deku," he feels his chest puff in satisfaction when you try to hide your smile against his chest.
"Ha. Ha. Funny KacchanâŚ" Deku says, sitting on the ground right in front of you. Very different from you, Katsuki can not hide his own smile ânot that he would even try to, which makes Deku roll his eyes and also smile. "How are you feeling, Y/N-chan?"
You exhale deeply; the long, tired sigh being answer enough, but you still say, "Like⌠all of this is a dream. Everything feelsâŚÂ surreal .â You gulp, finally pulling away a bit from Katsuki. He simply let you, hand still caressing your back in confort. âLike Iâll wake up any moment and be laying on the mattress on the floor in that one room apartment I liveâused to⌠live.â
They both notice your slip as you frown and slide a hand through your lock in a clear frustrated sign.
âI donât know⌠whatâs fact and whatâs fake anymore⌠IâŚâ The tears fill your eyes once again, your hand now grabbing the beginning of your hair. Katsuki immediately grabs your wrist trying to make you let go. âI feel angry and sad⌠I feel devastated by what happened⌠But I also feel relief, andâ I donât know whatâs the correct way to feel. I donât fucking know who I am anymore!â
Katsuki hugs you again, rocking from side to side and hushing, whispering that everything is going to be okay.
He feels Izukuâs eyes on him, on both of you. And even if the fucker hasnât said anything yet, Bakugou knows. FUCK. He fucking knows what his best friend is going to do. So he closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Fighting his own tears back.
But he canât hold them longer after he opens them and sees Aizawa standing at a distance. Waiting patiently. Katsuki hugs you tighter.
âY/N-chanâŚâ Izuku says, his gloved hand pressing on your shoulder to get your attention. âYou need help. Until everything settles back into you, you need someone that can help you with this. Do we agree?â
You nod, crying and sniffing as you pull away again, and this time is Katsukiâs turn to not want to let you go. His arms grab you stronger for a moment as he hides his face on your neck.
He doesnât want to let you go. He just got you back. He has so much to say and do and prove. He doesnât fucking want to let you go again.
Katsuki is in denial, he knows. And he also knows he is the most selfish bastard alive for not wanting to let you go so you can properly heal. But everything he has gone, without you, and now having a little taste of getting you back, whether that be even half of youâŚÂ FUCK! He definitely sounds like the most egotistic, selfish motherfucker of all.
When heâs about to finally let you go, he feels your hand tangle in the back of his head in his hair. And when his eyes find yours, he sees it. He sees the need you have of him, the sadness, the joy, the kindness, everything⌠He sees the want, the care, the despair . So many emotions itâs even difficult for him to maintain eye contact.
And he sees it. The loveâŚ
âIf there's something I havenât forgotten is how I feel about you. But you don't deserve the me of right nowâŚâ He shakes his head in denial, his hands holding your face and cleaning your tears with his thumbs. âI will get better⌠I will come back for you.â
You smile at him, and a simple action hasn't hurt so much as this. Like someone stabbed him with a knife on his chest, right where his heart is. And heâs left there, bleeding towards his death as you caress his cheek delicately one more time and stand up and walk crying towards your old teacher.
Katsuki knows it is for your health and wellbeing, but whoâs going to convince his heart that this isnât again the last time he sees you? That you will come back, that you will look for him in your return.
He brings his knees towards his chest, arms hugging them and hiding his face there. And Katsuki cries. Like a child.
He feels Izukuâs movement to sit next to him as one of his arms surround his shoulder, and he has never been grateful enough to the nerd for being the fucking best friend he has ever had.
Bakugou Katsuki doesnât look at you parting, walking away from him. He canât.
But he wishes he had.
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Taking a shot with Katsuki.
Warnings: aged up, alcohol use, nsfw themes
1.1k words
The music blared throughout the club as you continued to dance with Mina, Denki, and Hanta. Eijiro had walked off to check up on Katsuki who sat on the couch at your reserved booth.
Arms crossed and nostrils flared as the redhead tried to convince him to join you on the dance floor. The music droned out their voices, but you didn't need to hear to see what Katsuki's answer was.
Katsuki waved his hand at Eijiro shooing him away as his pupils vanished from his eyes in anger. Eijiro reluctantly re-joined you four looking like a sad puppy.
"Sorry, I tried to get him to join," Eijiro said defeatedly.
You laughed to lighten the mood and touched Eijiro's shoulder sympathetically. "Don't worry about it Ei, I know he's not much of a dancer- but I'll go get him in the party spirit," You promised shooting Eijiro a wink before walking off to join Katsuki on the couch.
"Don't fucking try it!" Katsuki yelled in a booming voice putting the loud club music to shame. "I ain't dancing with you idiots, just be happy I'm here at all brat!"
"I don't want you to dance," you said sitting down in his lap. Even though you both had been dating for a while- Katsuki wasn't a fan of public affection like you were. But the shots you had already pounded made you sway playfully in his lap, and his arms instinctively wrapped around your waist to stabilize you.
"The hell you want then, hu? Go back and dance- I'm happy enough just watching the view from here," He replied.
"You like watching me, hmm?" You asked laughing and giving him a wink.
"Tch- go back brat. You were enjoying yourself over there," he said giving your bottom a playful tap. But he did like the view- how could he not as you danced so suggestively with Mina in an outfit that left little to the imagination.
"Nu-uh," you said shaking your head. "I want you to take a shot with me first," you said leaning over to grab the bottle your group had purchased for the table and a new shot glass. Katsuki's grip on your waist tightened as you stretched to grab the bottle ensuring your drunk self wouldn't topple out of his lap.
"I'm not drinking anymore," He declared once you readjusted back into his lap pouring a shot.
"Don't worry- we have limes. You take the shot then bite the lime- and you won't taste the alcohol at all," You assured him, as you poured out the shot.
"I don't give a damn about the taste. I gotta take care of your drunk ass so- no more drinking for me," he said sternly.
"Just this last one I promise Katsuki~" You whined, stretched back to place the bottle on the table, and wrapped your fingers around one of the lime wedges.
"No. I ain't telling you again," he said rougher this time. Your eyes glazed over as you squinted at him and swayed in his lap unable to sit still with your buzz.
"Fine, that's how you want to play it?" You asked giving him a challenging look. Katsuki didn't respond, just eyed you as you continued to size him up. Lost in attempting to get what you wanted, you hadn't noticed your group begin to approach the booth.
"All right, new plan," you said, and Katsuki froze at your next action. You squeezed the lime over your exposed cleavage. "Ok- take the shot then lick the lime from here, "You said holding the shot out to him once more.
Katsuki's eyes wandered from the lime juice that cascaded down your cleavage back to your eyes that taunted him to take up your challenge.
"Hurry up Katsuki- it's cold," You whined.
"Man, if you don't take that shot I will," Denki spoke up.
"IN YOUR DREAMS DUNCE FACE," Katsuki barked, as he grabbed the shot from your hand and downed it quickly before losing the anger that fueled him to act. Katsuki tossed the now empty shot onto the table while he buried his face into your chest.
"Holy shit-," Eijiro exclaimed, shocked by his friend acting so out of character. It never failed to amaze Eijiro with the things you persuaded Katsuki to do. The rest of the group cheered and made suggestive noises.
Katsuki's tongue was a sharp warm contrast to the cold lime juice, and it didn't help that he took his time, almost forgetting you both had an audience. His tongue traveled across your exposed skin sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps trialing on your arms. Your fingers interlaced in his blond spikes- much like they do when you both are alone.
"Happy now, brat?" He asked, face flushed, panting, and avoiding any eye contact with his friends.
"Almost," You answered, reaching for the bottle and shot again.
"I ain't doing another- we agreed that was the last one," he said.
"No- my turn," you said shoving the bottle and shot into his hand as you sunk to the floor. You sat on your knees between his legs looking up at him. "Feed me mine," You demanded, seductive eyes blinking up at him.
"Oh god damn-" he groaned looking away from you for a moment to regain his composure. But your hands traveled to his thighs griping onto them for support as you waited for him to oblige. Because- you always found a way to get what you wanted from him.
Katsuki chuckled to himself and took a deep breath before looking down at you again, "You want it bad, hu?" He asked.
You nodded obediently, "Please Katsuki- I'll beg if I have to," you said teasingly giving him a wink and running your hands across the length of his thighs.
Katsuki poured the shot and set the bottle aside. "Open up," He commanded, and you dropped your mouth open. Katsuki placed his hand under your chin angling you up to take the shot, then poured it carefully into your mouth. His eyes watched your every movement as you swallowed and wiped your mouth.
"Fuck-," He spoke out breathlessly. "You really look like you want something else down your throat."
"You wanna take me to the bathroom?" You asked, laying your head in his lap, eyes still staring up at him- a seductive smile on your flushed lips.
Katsuki debated your offer for a moment- mulling over the risks of public sex before deciding, "Let's go- gonna fuck you sober."
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