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smallgremlinsinatrenchcoat · 4 months

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Gore Practice First Draft

I’m trying to work on writing gore, and I have a basic plot outline, but I’m not sure if I should add more gore/how I should go into detail for it.

This is the first draft, feel free to just read through or leave some advice! ^-^

*****

[MC collecting their commission from an old couple. The man asks how they know the ghost is really gone when they can't see it. MC explains that even though they can’t see the demon, because of the special energy in their soul that qualified them to become an exorcist they can feel any demonic presence]

[however, MC is lying. They just banished the demon from the house, as it was too strong to kill with the tools they brought. They had expected a lesser demon and not one of this level of strength.]

[the MC reminisces on their inability to see demons. Their ancestors & all the other exorcists they trained with were able to see demons, but they have to rely on pure instinct. It makes them sad, as even though they are the best exorcist in their lineage, they will never truly share their ancestor’s experiences]

[during the drive back to their apartment, they feel something lightly trail their arm. When they swing behind them it’s not there, but they sense something and accelerate.]

[MC returns to their house and tries to sleep, but just before they fall asleep they hear a creaking noise.]

[they don’t have any weapons on them, so they hide behind the door as whatever is outside their bedroom moves closer.]

[something comes into the room and MC relaxes briefly upon seeing the old man from earlier.]

[the man’s hand grips the edge of the door and MC widens their eyes upon seeing the flesh of the fingers pushed down and crumpled around the exposed bones. The bones are bleeding slightly as they have been cut messily into sharp points.]

[they lock eyes and the old man’s eyes are now red. he slams the door and lunges at them. MC tries to parry but quickly learns what a bad idea that is as the old man has become incredibly strong. They realize that the old man must have left his house, and become possessed by the demon from earlier.]

[they grab a bedside lamp (made of glass) and shatter it over the old man’s head, going so far as to push it down hard so that they can feel the sharp ridges of the broken glass grate over his skull.]

[it manages to slow him down long enough so MC can fling the door open and run to get a weapon.]

[they are tackled by the old man and his nail bone things pierce their heel and slice their achilles tendon]

[they fight back a scream, tears involuntarily beginning to well up in their eyes as a sharp pop is heard and a searing pain envelops their whole left leg.]

[MC reaches out as the old man tries to pull them back, one hand gripping the small groove between two kitchen tiles as the other desperately reaches for their short sword.]

[their fingernails begin to come apart from their skin and crack away as they are so, so, SO close. Their nails are raising from the nail bed, and the claws of the old man tug downwards on their ankle]

[they finally grasp it and swing backwards with all their might, chucking it at the man and it lodges itself in his arm. they grab the handle again, contorting backwards in a way that makes their body scream in pain]

[they begin to hack at the man’s arm, and once there is a crack in the bone they wedge the knife down and move it it back and forth. they split the bone clean in half, allowing them to slice the rest of the arm off. (the bone splitting is like a watermelon)]

[all of a sudden a shriek of agony is heard, and MC collapses to the side before looking over at the man as they struggle to rein in their own pain.]

[the man’s eyes are back to normal, except for the fact they they are overflowing with tears. he is crying so hard he is gasping for air, mucus coming out of his nose as he cradles his damaged arms close to his body, even the slightest brush with the fabric of his shirt makes his face contort in pain even more]

[the MC immediately feels awful now that the demon has released the man’s mind. They try to stand up to help the man, but crumple like a soda can, letting out a cry.]

[the man’s screams become a background noise to them as their vision starts to blacken, a contrast to the searing, blinding pain crawling up their spine & body]

[in their dulled vision, they see the demon’s true form, and they begin to cry. they know they are about to die, but they finally get to see what their ancestors before them have seen, and that brings them peace.]

[the demon reaches into their chest, placing a hand over MC’s eyes in an unexpected display of affection. they slowly grab their body and lay MC in their lap, before (with hand still covering their eyes) reaching down to insert his claws into their chest.]

[the claws bear a remarkable similarity to the bone nails on the old man’s fingers, the latter being modeled off of them. He rummages around inside of their chest like a purse, whispering sweet nothings as their body starts jerking from the pain]

[he finally manages to yank the heart out of their chest, the pulsating mass fluttering in his hands as the MC tries to let out one final, agonizing shriek. it fails, and their mouth is left hanging open]

[somewhere along the way the old man has stopped screaming, and at this sight he vomits all over the floor.]

[the demon ignores this, and the stench already present in the room only intensifies with the addition of vomit]

[he uses the hand he was previously covering MC’s eyes with to slowly slice the heart open, in an almost reverent/ceremonial way. his eyes begin to glow even brighter and a shining ball of light emerges]

[he plucks it out of the air with his bloodstained claws and pops it into his mouth, before raising the heart to his lips. he inhales the coppery, tangy scent of blood before he bites into the organ]

[it squelches in his mouth, and the beating comes to a stop as he begins to chew, the texture similar to that of an overripe peach.]

[his whole body begins to glow, and MC slowly slides off of his lap as he begins to float upwards. The red of his skin begins to fade, leaving splatters of blood more visible. A pair of white wings begins to sprout from his back, and if the old man wasn’t dead he would have looked up in shock from his pool of blood]

[a new angel has been born.]

If you’ve read this far, tysm and have an AMAZING day!!

#writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #pls help #please please please #cw: gore #demon to angel ig??#MC dies at the end 💀#any help is appreciated #tyyy <3 #writing help

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