smartbitches - Tumblr blog

[smartbitches]

I have so many questions.

Are those the colored contacts that were super popular in the 90s that I was Not Allowed to Have?

What did that dude just say to her?

Which cover is better? Both? Neither?

We talk about this book and several others from the December 2015 issue of RT in this episode. Listen and follow along with all the (many) visuals!

[smartbitches]

This week on the podcast, my guest is Mimi Matthews talking about her book The Lily of Ludgate Hill.

Y'all there is so much pining in this book. PINING.

Mimi is a really, really fun guest and if you like historical romances, or were (or are!) a horse girl, you'll like this. We do talk about loss (some characters are pining for the past) and about death and grief, but it's mostly hopeful and entirely about loving someone after they're gone.

Happy Friday, y'all!

You can find Smart Podcast Trashy Books wherever you get podcasts, or, you can listen right here:

[smartbitches]

Tag yourself, I'm the triplet on the right who is ready to drop a deuce.

[smartbitches]

Amanda tells me in this week's episode that the Highland Guard is "What if Navy SEALs in historical Scottish romance?"

ok, sure!

[smartbitches]

Do you remember this series, with the absolutely gorgeous ink on the cover models?

This is book one - pretty huh?

And that's book two.

Did you read this series?

[smartbitches]

This review is for book three, Warlords and Wastrels, but look at the covers for the whole trilogy!

I'm not including both parts of the review because the summary is a bit spoilery, and this sounds like a very fun fantasy trilogy.

Listen to the full episode where we recap the December 2015 issue of RT right here, complete with visual aids:

[smartbitches]

Look at this guy. He's like 17.

The song "Smooth" by Santana with the dude from Matchbox 20 is about this guy's cheeks and chin.

And that POOUF in the hair. I love everything about this cover.

[smartbitches]

This was the first of MANY utterly crap reviews. This negging, cliche-filled nonsense is 4.5 stars?

Meanwhile, that wordsalad of a review is followed by a summary in which the following words are written:

"MAITLIND FINDS IT TOUGH TO CONSTANTLY FEED HER SEXUAL APPETITE."

The Heroine is apparently Horny on Main and the review just says that the author "reminds us what passion is all about."

The hero FINDS IT TOUGH to satisfy how absolutely hornypants the heroine is, and that's not the lede?

Wow. So this book might indeed have too much sex in it.

You can hear my full rant about this review, and the rest of the reviews from December 2015 here:

[smartbitches]

We'll talk more about this book in the Jan 26 episode, but y'all. The sky is jeans.

[smartbitches]

This review is for book three, Warlords and Wastrels, but look at the covers for the whole trilogy!

I'm not including both parts of the review because the summary is a bit spoilery, and this sounds like a very fun fantasy trilogy.

Listen to the full episode where we recap the December 2015 issue of RT right here, complete with visual aids:

[smartbitches]

BIG OL' HAT ALERT!

We're hat hunting in the December 2015 issue of Romantic Times Magazine. You can listen and follow along with all the visuals here:

[smartbitches]

Amazing.

(Also: those are Jonas brothers on the Wicked Ways cover, right?)

[smartbitches]

Amanda and I think, but aren't sure, that this is an ad for the press itself. A horny dragon making acquisitions? Am I reading this right!?

What is happening??

[smartbitches]

Remember author cruises?

A whole week on a cruise ship with romance readers and romance authors - sounds kind of fun, especially if there's reading time involved.

[smartbitches]

Alligator. Pants?

The entire ad is a whole experience.

[smartbitches]

Illustrated cover art has been around for ages - these are from the July 2004 Romantic Times Book Club Magazine. The Patti Berg angel illustration, and the one on the far left in the other ad, are a style I associate with this era. The people, especially the women, are extremely long and thin and POINTY.

WITH SHARP POINTY FEET that can KILL YOU.

SHIV TOES.

I don't have strong feelings about illustrated cover art generally, but the super stretched-out illustrations can stay gone, thanks.

[smartbitches]

Just some classic mid-2000s digital books with Poser covers.

So shiny. So round. So creepy.