smithandsmith

[smithandsmith]

“Anyone want some of the CREAM PIE that’s on my face?!”

[smithandsmith]

*Hits Leonard in the face with a pie

“Is that CREAM PIE I’m tasting?!  Cream pie’s my favorite!”

[smithandsmith]

“Honey, have you heard from Morty at all?”

“No.”

“--- Okay.  I’m sure he’s fine.”  Goes back into the closet.

[smithandsmith]

Joyce and Leonard refer to alcohol as grownup juice.  You heard it here first, folks.

[smithandsmith]

starrys0nder​:

[smithandsmith]

“My new year’s resolution is to make a tape of some kind with the blow-up doll that lives in my closet!”

“Mine is to find licorice underwear.”

[smithandsmith]

implausiblynaive·:

“I’m not going to do that, Grandpa Leonard.”

“Not on purpose, but----!”

[smithandsmith]

implausiblynaive·:

“—- I’m good up here, Grandpa Leonard.  Go back inside.”  He rests his arms behind his head and stares blankly up at the night sky, annoyed.

“But you might trip and crack your head open on the sidewalk!”

[smithandsmith]

“MORTY!” shouts Leonard through cupped hands, “GET OFF THE ROOF!  IT’S DANGEROUS!”

[smithandsmith]

anxechoxinxhell·:

The warmth that emitted from Him was not His usual kindness, but a rare rage. Eyes narrowing, a slow exhale leaving Him. He certainly wasn’t happy, the pleasant air He usually had when talking to His people was absent.

“ Stand. ”

“Of course, Lord.”

Having never been in God’s presence before, Joyce thinks nothing of His tone.  She stands back up with her head held high and a smile on her face that says very clearly how happy- and completely oblivious- she is right now.  She’s talking to Him.  What a beautiful day!

[smithandsmith]

themoralpuppington·:

“—– We’re not the ones who drink His blood, Ma’am.”

“I BEG YOUR PARDON?!”

[smithandsmith]

themoralpuppington·:

Uncomfortable laughter.

“I’m still Protestant, yep!”

“Disgusting.”

[smithandsmith]

themoralpuppington·:

“…..”  Orel has to ask.  He can’t help himself.  “Have I done something to make you hate me, Ma’am?”

“Are you still a filthy, disgusting protestant?”

[smithandsmith]

@anxechoxinxhell​

Is that........ Him?  It is isn’t it?!  Hands pressed together, Joyce falls to her knees in front of the Lord.  She’s an excellent catholic.  She even kisses His feet.

[smithandsmith]

themoralpuppington·:

“—– Okay?”

��Thank you so much!”  Goes back to reading the newspaper.

[smithandsmith]

“You’re talking now, though, and I’d like that to stop.”

[smithandsmith]

implausiblynaive·:

“Morty!  Where are you going?!”

“THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE!  Y-YOU GUYS ARE SUFFOCATING ME!”

“You can’t blame us for wanting to talk to you all the time when we're here, Mort!  You’re our grandson--- and we don’t see you all that often!”