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🙌🙌🙌

"n…n-nya."

Overdue Lobert commission for insanely patient @smokedapplecores🦷🍑

Thank you so much for giving me a chance to draw some cursed catboy action!!!

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Really wish I’d stop entering dead fandoms and wondering why there’s almost nothing new🫠

doodliesss

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When you get sorted and they misspell your name smh.

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Meanwhile, back in the hotel

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The Lobby Boy looking ass Shep since I was test printing to see how it was going.

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The Concierge: you are tasked with finding the princess in the tower. She is beautiful and perfect in every way.

The Manager: I find her.

The Concierge: no, you need to quest to find her. As I was saying-

The Manager: I quest and find her.

The Concierge: that is not how this goes

The Bellhop: can I marry her? How meaty is she?

The Auditor: be right back

The Concierge: wait, I’m not even done the introducti- and she’s gone

RIP to the Staff and New Crew. They would have loved sitting around playing tabletops and getting into the roleplay.

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Wrong, they’re all bad at sex

The Lobby Boy: perpetually leaking fluids, smells bad, never felt pleasure in his life so will die if he gets aroused

The Owner: Good Old Boy vibes therefore assumes his partner is done when he’s done.

The Bellhop: biter but not the sexy biting. Will laugh at your body and talk about meat and other shit.

The Auditor: where is she? I swear she was here a minute ago.

The Manager: Stone Butch and looks bored and slightly pissed off the entire time

The Concierge: will give you a script

The Hotel: would go ‘tee hee’ and not even get to sex before killing you. Smh

The Hotel Podcast Characters who are Bad At Sex:

The Lobby Boy

The Owner

The Bellhop

The Auditor

The Hotel Podcast Characters who are Good At Sex:

The Manager

The Concierge

Madam Hotel

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If The Lobby Boy worked in a mailroom he’d be this guy.

Men in Black II

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@thehotelpod he’s got an idea for a quarantine episode lmao

They stopped replying.

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He’s too handsome and would be disappointed in my lacklustre performance

"Canonically handsome as hell and with a voice that's so smooth it makes me shudder."

(art by filthyguts)

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The beautiful beasties

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Point me at them and they’ll be happily married in a month.

*mafia don* ive got this whole freakin' city under my thumb. i can have any two men kissing each other in under 15 minutes

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Think I might put this one on a shirt

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A more traditional rending of the Scullery Boy. Like the thought of him being hulking like the original Frankenstein’s Monster but being soft af.

First try at a reduction cut! Really enjoyed it and hoping to keep improving.

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Work in Progress Ask Meme

@zombified-queer why you gotta expose me like this😭

Prompt: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive of ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Here’s my list of unpublished aka unpolished WIP with their working titles. No, the titles do not help, most of theses are over 20k words. Yes it’s all The Hotel aus, don’t judge me. Most recent at the top:

Mor3 Parlour

More P2rlour

Reha6

R5hab

More Parlour

Ciergebot lmao

New new new new rehab

Training the old staff

Abandoned AU

Parlour

Rehab AU

Concierge/Owner/Lobby Boy Multi

New new new Rehab

24/7

Hunger gays but with new fucked designs

Rehab new new stuff

Post Rehab Baby

Rehab new stuff

Hunger games more like hunger gays lmao

Nanowrimo 2/3

Nanowrimo side quest

Nanowrimo 1/3

Ciergeboy rehab

Weird guy is multiclassed

Aud/Hop madness

Touch adjacent

Dungeon AU

Post rehab

Rehab wrestling

Weird guy has a bad time

One on one training

Body Modifications

Don’t yell at the weird guy

Help us weird guy

Wake up weird guy

Wax Galaxy

Red Call

Treat

Shibari

Quality Control

Grip Strength

First kills

Lmao Die little winner

First Flirtations

Skilled Debater

Wrestling Match

Fishing District

Hunger Games

The Race

Post Basement HJ

Bad Taste

Owner Bad Time

Basement - SAC so nasty af

Basement redemption dress

Trans Basement

Physical Checks

Minnesota Handshake

I tag @hornblowershitposts because ZQ already did it and I only write with these two goons.

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Last year I was late to 4/20, this year I’m on time and come bearing three weed smoking girlfriends and poor bong etiquette.

Also, for you dweebs that just eat edibles, The Concierge is shotgunning a joint with the Lobby Boy. You turn the cherry into your mouth and someone inhales from the end. Learn about your weed culture smh, young people.