sneaky-eel - Tumblr blog

[sneaky-eel]

My top 4 ships involving Desmond are pretty much all crack ships!!!  And it pains me trying to find fanfiction for them!!!

The first ofc being Alex, then Altair, then Ezio and then Malik???

Anyways, enjoy some sketches

[sneaky-eel]

Desmond, bartender in 2000s-2010s New York would absolutely binge shitty reality tv and adore eavesdropping on patrons when he can't get his drama fix. He's the RPG tavern owner who you ask if he has heard any rumors and his eyes light up because now he can info dump all the shit he hears. This follows him to the past, where now he has to actively seek out this entertainment.

He abuses his enhanced senses to sit on roofs and listen in with a hand to his mouth like, "oh my god. They were roommates." He is both the best informant and the worst because, while he is a master at getting information, the details he focuses on are useless to the Order.

"Yeah so this guy will be here at this time at this place, whatever. But! More importantly this guy has been having an affair with his wife's sister AND her brother and-"

"Please, Desmond, I am begging you just tell me the information for the mission."

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In Altair's time, Malik was originally Desmond's go to but after being chased out one to many times for "loitering and disturbing the peace of the bureau" (i.e. Malik's peace) Desmond switches to the Rafiq in Damascus since he "at least appreciates me." Eventually Malik would begrudgingly miss his presents and send a request for him to come back because Desmond is the only one he can rant at about Altair.

Altair does not know what the hell Desmond is talking about half the time, but now he does know the baker has three sons that his wife never knew of and one of the sons has shown up at the baker's home.

He normally will just let Desmond keep talking cause he likes his voice.

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In Ezio's time he is best friends with Claudia and her girls love him. He'll drop in and gossip with them about their patrons or even warn them about some of them. "Be careful I heard that he has some craziness going on between the legs." or the girls will ask questions about Ezio.

"I heard he is a beast in bed, is that true?"

"Well you didn't hear it from me, buuuut~"

He is 100% going off of hazy animus memories, but all the courtesans totally think he has either A.) slept with Ezio or B.) is actively sleeping with Ezio

With Claudia he talks about the goings on in Tiber Island and what Ezio is up to. Ezio doesn't know how the hell his sister knows everything he is doing or why he gets a message from her forbidding him from doing something he hasn't even gotten to do yet and Desmond just stands off to the side sweating.

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Connor is gonna go gray early with how often Desmond just disappears from the Homestead because he seems hellbent on not staying still as it gets "to boring there". Desmond will normally pop up in the strangest of places. Either Connor will find him, head tilted like a dog as he listens in on a group or Desmond will just hunt Connor down himself. "Heard you were in the area."

At time he loves it because Desmond always has a ready flow of information and he is very good at sowing discontent with it, making for good distractions. On the other hand he can do without the open commentary or rampant attention he gives any interaction Connor has with his father.

"It's so much more interesting when it's not me"

*Connor and Haytham both glare at him*

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[sneaky-eel]

not my best work :p who knew drawing ppl from the back was hard :,0 i might delete bc ohgod the anatomy

[sneaky-eel]

“Uh, hey fellas. I don’t think I’m the one you need to worry about.”

[sneaky-eel]

Ezio (with Desmond) go back in time and successfully save Ezio's family. Now they are sitting above Leonardo's workshop watching Federico flirt with and carry Leonardo's things.

Ezio: Nope. I don't like it.

Desmond: Why not? I think it's pretty cute.

Ezio: It is not cute. That is my best friend that my own brother is hitting on. And I mean really! Since when was Leonardo interested in men?

Desmond looking at Ezio with equal parts awe and dawning horror: Oh my god.

Ezio: What?

Desmond still amazed: You're an idiot.

Ezio: *offended italian squawk noise*

[sneaky-eel]

I decided to replay assassin's creed 2 and my very gay roommate plops down on the couch with me.

Him: is he gay?

Me: Desmond? Why?

Him: look at his walk. That is a very cunty walk. He is throwing his hips. Did they steal him from a gay bar?

Me: Well, he was a bartender in New York. I don't think they say what kind of bar.

Him: Oh yeah, he's gay.

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Desmond gave him food one time and now he begs at every meal.

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Last bit of the sleeping assassins! All of which are also old as I think these were from October/November?

If you don’t like seeing AltDes, EziDes, and ConDes then skip right over these cause what is under the cut is kinda shippy.

“Secret Softie”

Altair waits for Desmond to fall asleep first because he knows Desmond is a heat seeker and will cuddle up to him. Plus since Altair wakes up long before Desmond normally would he can continue to pretend to be that cool and aloof guy.

“Entangled”

Connor usually tries to take up as little space as possible, but with Desmond he will happily coil around him. He makes sure that he is between Desmond and the door so he can be the first to confront any intruders.

“Smothered”

Desmond is the only one of the three who can handle sharing with Ezio. That doesn’t mean he always likes it. On good nights Ezio is a heated, weighted blanket. On bad nights he is a goddamn jackhammer in his ear.

[sneaky-eel]

There is the fact that the bleeding effect is still a very real problem for animus users in 3 (I think)

So, looking at it from the assassins' perspective, they wouldn't want to risk William, their mentor, to such a thing. Not when they have Desmond. Desmond, who had already run away from them once. Someone who probably isn't really considered an assassin to many of them anymore.

To William and the other assassins, hell possibly even to Shaun and Rebecca, William isn't expendable. Desmond is.

Never seen anyone more confidently wrong than those people who call Haytham the worst father ever when he lives in the same universe as William Miles

[sneaky-eel]

You absolutely can post Desmond getting railed 👀

I don't know by whom, but I support it nonetheless

(amazing progress btw)

I had completely forgotten I had mentioned it in the tags that for a split moment I had this fear of “how does this person know what’s on my tablet”

and the picture itself isn’t to bad. You can’t see anything. Its just funny that this is one of the first thing I drew of him.

Maybe somewhere down the line I’ll redraw it.

[sneaky-eel]

Forgive me for I have sinned 🙏🏻

(I may have stared at your Ezio a bit too much)

I mean I can’t blame you XD

The actually man starts out so cute then he gets dilfy. It’s hard not to sin😔

[sneaky-eel]

More “sleeping” assassins! These are from back in October and I just never posted them because I didn’t finish an Altair & Connor one, but they aren’t doing anything sitting on my tablet so here they are!

“The Retreat”

Connor knows how to pick his battles and this one is not worth it. Probably leaves and goes to sleep in the hallway to get away from Ezio’s snoring.

“War Zone”

Unlike Connor, Altair isn’t so nice. He can and will kick Ezio out of bed, then they just spend the whole night fighting.

[sneaky-eel]

The Clay/Federico sexcapade is now being edited, will be posted very soon (like before 8pm) so get hyped for 7329 words of smut!

[sneaky-eel]

Hey you guys wanna see something funny?

These two pictures are a little over a year apart

It’s amazing what drawing the same dude over and over again can do for you.

[sneaky-eel]

Sense Ubisoft decided to give us jack shit on Desmond's mother I wanted to do my own little head-canon of her.

Desmond's mother is a cold, no-nonsense woman. A prodigy in her own right who was probably one of the options for the next mentor, but preferred field work. Her acts of love are through services and what is a better service to those she loves then ridding the world of templars. The longest she probably went without being out in the field was when Desmond was born and it isn't till he is 5 or 6 that she goes back out. Now she is working twice as hard. Not just for her fellow assassins, but now she has a son. A son who will be forced to do this same exact thing if she doesn't do something.

So she is around less and less. One day here, two days there. And maybe she thinks she is doing her family a favor. She deludes herself into thinking this will push Bill and Desmond closer together. Desmond will love Bill more because he is there and she is not. But it has the opposite effect. As he gets older Desmond starts to resent Bill. He can never be good enough. Never strong enough or fast enough. He is subjected to a constant stream of belittlement from his father. Bill works all the time and Desmond hates that he is forced to have dinners at an empty table all alone while Bill is in his office. So close but still too far.

But his mother? Oh his mother is his hero because all this time he has been building in his head the idea of what his mother is. An ideal mother. "Yeah she isn't here cause she is keeping us safe. Everyone says how great she is. The best of the best." He tells himself. Then as he gets older he starts to compare Bill to this idea of his mother. "If mom was here she'd be able to explain this better to me. She is really smart.", "When mom gets back I'm sure she can help me with this move. She's the best.", "Once mom gets here we can have dinner like a family, maybe we can cook together." on and on.

Finally, at 16, his mother is home for the first time for a longer than a day. Two whole weeks in fact. And he is so excited only for that reunion to be awkward and kind of cold. He doesn't get those meals together like he hoped. Training with her is worse than his father. With Bill he had learned when the man is actually paying attention and where, which allowed Desmond to slack in other areas, but with his mother she is always watching. She nitpicks every movement and doesn't seem to understand why he can't get something on the first try. She pushes Desmond well past exhaustion and makes him train even past that. Desmond's carefully crafted view of his mother is destroyed in just a few days leaving him empty and convinced that neither of his parents actually love him.

From Desmond's mother's point of view the reunion is "cold" because she doesn't know what to say to her son. She has been gone for so much of his life and the only things she really knows about him are through Bill. She knows he has potential, but he is "disinterested" and "never takes anything seriously" so in training she pushes him. She has been a field agent this whole time. She knows that a single misstep can mean death and Desmond is already 16. In a few more years they will send him on his first mission and she will be damned if she lets him die. Those missed meals together? She is with Bill in his office helping with his work and on occasion they will sit there with a bottle of scotch between them, talking about life before. Before he had to be mentor, when they had at least a little time to themselves. A little time for each other. She doesn't see what she is doing to Desmond.

When it's time for her to leave again she doesn't question Desmond's lack of smile or how he says he is going to go "train", she only thinks 'Good. He is going to start taking things more seriously.' She doesn't think anything is wrong when she gets off the plane and she drives to the safe-house. She doesn't know that Desmond has snuck out. Ran away from the home he believes never even cared about him. Nothing is wrong until Bill calls her and says the three words the shatters her world.

"Desmond is gone."