snowwriter-blog1

[snowwriter-blog1]

Behind

I have been living differently all my life. I’ve never been treated properly in my family. Once, my mother told me to learn how to respect. That the reason why I go to school is to learn what is the difference between right and wrong. But what she didn’t know, I’ve been studying as a good student. She never saw how I acted in school, and how I took care of everyone else that I forgot how to love myself. I’d rather make other people laugh even if I’m hurting. And now she asks me to learn how to respect? How would I respect her if she doesn’t return the favor? Scars on my wrists tells a long story behind my bright smiles. But my own mother? She doesn’t know who I am. She never listened to me. And the story behind everything I do.

[snowwriter-blog1]

Dry

I asked myself once, “Are you worth it?” Am I? Am I the person that should be loved? Am I the person who deserves all the happiness people surround me with? Am I enough? All I do is shut everyone out. All I do is not care at all. But within me, deep inside my heart, I want to love. I want to care. I want to experience the feeling of being loved and appreciated. But someone, unfortunately, told me that I don’t deserve her. And that “her” never appreciated my efforts. Never made me smile at least once. Never made me feel loved. And that “her” is my mother. She hates me more than I hate myself. I once wanted to breakdown. I wanted to shout, I wanted to tell her why can’t she see. Why can’t she see I’m the one who’s hurting. Not only her. But all I can do is lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling as if it were the sky. All I can do is dance, draw, write and let my tears dry as they fall down my cheek. Do I not deserve this life?

[snowwriter-blog1]

My dreams are crushed, my heart is cracked, my life is over.

Winter

[snowwriter-blog1]

Who am I?

Hi, I'm Winter. I'm sensitive, and I observe a lot. Most of the times, I keep my mouth shut. People thought I can't speak. Everyday, I go to school with my big smile - or shall I say, a mask of mine. Me and my family aren't really in good terms so I suffer quite a lot. I lived my life having so much "frenemies" since I was in Elementary. And they made me who I am now. I can't even remember who I was even before I met them. Was I the one who can laugh out loud with no hesitations or the one who laughs silently? Was I a happy person or the one has the resting bitch face on all the time? Who was I?

[snowwriter-blog1]

He lived in a shadow and killed himself.

Winter

[snowwriter-blog1]

Daydream in a labyrinth.

Winter