soft-construction

[soft-construction]

A post I wrote some time in around 2013/2014. Interesting to read stuff like this from a few years back and compare how far I've come, though I know I still have a long way to go to be where I've always wanted to be

I’ve technically been “”“writing songs”“”” on guitar for about a year now and it’s something i really enjoy even when i was shockingly bad at it (which has basically been my own opinon up until like April) but the difficulty is what to do with the stuff I’ve made that i like:

Do I try and actually record it properly but be more solo-ish like NIN or whatever

try and get a band to play/manipulate it (which is already difficult due to different tastes and me not wanting to be a dictator; but still means it could be played live and actually developed into something better/complete)

or do i just quit and do something else because its likely that it actually sucks?

Well i dont know if it sucks or not because i’ve not really shown anyone, apart from my friend in my currently incomplete band (we need a decent basisst and a drummer stat! hmu) and he hasn’t really seen the bulk of what i have in my head because i have a million ideas but no way to transmit them to how i envision it without it sounding wrong, nor do i currently have the time or resources (like space, massive amps, more effects besides distortion and built-in amp effects, microphones (I’ve literally only been recording ideas on my ipod and then mixing it together on audacity i’m that much of a cheapskate) and the money to fund all that stuff i were to actually start recording properly). 

It’s weird that music has become my new creative outlet though. Like most people when they get recognised for something its because they were talented at it when they were really young. And for me that drawing, but drawing for me lately has just been dull because all i ever used to do anyway was draw anime/manga or famous people, nothing truly original, or that good, like i can’t draw characters or buildings, just things people have drawn and copying it or manipulating it into my messy style.

But now with music, for starters it’s making art like it’s a chance to make something amazing out of nothing and that’s all i’ve really cared about and all I want to do in life in terms of careers just making things for people to share and enjoy. And i can be 100% me, which is probably why i’ve been so reluctant to show people the rough ideas i’ve got because it means bearing my soul to like a wave of burning arrows.  But i this year for me a certain theme has arisen in everything i do and that’s confidence, in other ways if i really give a fuck about this i should stop squirming about and take criticisms like a man so i can actually improve, because it’s so easy to get comfortable with mediocrity the only way to get better is to have someone better than me tell me where i’m going right/wrong and to do that i have to ask them/show them.  So that’s my plan for now, at least let someone genuinely listen to what i’ve got and go from there

To end this read more i’ll go into my current style/sound in terms of genres. Atm it’s an amalgamation of a few things, but the umbrella term is undoubtedly alternative rock.  What i’ve been doing is mostly fast paced with heavy distortion inc. mostly strumming and short riffs/palm-muting breakdowns but im playing on a strat on the bridge pick-up in Standard/Drop D, so it’s got a sharp attacking punk/indie sound rather than speed metal/metalcore. But because i’m using fuzz and overdrive with a bit of bass it can switch from indie rock to 90’s grunge/alt metal quite easily. And then I love shoegaze and noise rock so sometimes some reverb/delay/modulation gets slapped on it. I’m all over the place but in a weird way i’ve kinda united all that together.

[soft-construction]

Grimes by Petra Collins

[soft-construction]

Nirvana - Animated Discography

[soft-construction]

Practice session for my band in January, featuring a segment of the song 'Black Knight'

[soft-construction]

Destiny

I started reading the autobiography of Johnny Marr of the Smiths, Set the Boy Free, and was very impressed by his determination to make a name for himself in music since he was a teenager. I think I could definitely be in a better position with the band if I devoted more time and effort to starting it up. I still yet to record a demo in a studio and play a gig live with a full band. Of course in one way I should not compare myself to people like Marr who seemed destined to be successful. But success is only 1 part 'luck' and 9 parts 'hard work'. I need to be more driven and make things happen.

My situation is different though: I did not start playing guitar until I was 19; I didn't have access to music scenes and knew no one I could play with for a while; I've technically already created all the songs I need to have a career (7 albums worth, 1 a double album, plus like 50 B-Sides and a long EP/mini-album). The only challenge is to actually start and I know the ball will roll. I just gotta make the push.

[soft-construction]

I've written a ton of lyrics to go with the music I've written; is it worth posting them all on here? Dare I divulge in to what they mean or can be interpreted as? I know the classic phrase 'Explanation kills art' but sometimes you want to hear the viewpoint and the thought processes behind the writer's words as it often gives historical insight like a story or a feeling they had at one point in their lives that you couldn't always infer from just staring at them.

One day though I would love to be in a position for fans and critics to attempt to analyse my lyrics. If not to see if it resonated with anyone, then to somewhat see them afresh again, with a new take on it. That is the artistic goal I must reach.

[soft-construction]

Influences

Nirvana, Tool, My Bloody Valentine, Smashing Pumpkins, Hole, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, Deftones, Biffy Clyro (early), Radiohead, the Smiths, Muse (early), Hüsker Dü, the Beatles, Chevelle, Alice in Chains, Bloc Party etc

[soft-construction]

Why 'Soft Construction'?

I was looking for names of the band for a long while and flirted with ideas such as The Desire Realm (which comes up later), Talos, Cosmogenic, Absurd Hero, Astral Boy etc. (The last two now being song titles). During my degree I had become infatuated with the work of Dalí and suddenly had the idea of naming the band after a piece of his. Soft Construction stuck out instantly when I saw it, and felt it had very quaintly described and reflected the sound of the music, in its title combining the softness of the clean melodic parts and the heavy grit and ugliness of the distortion; as well as it's subject matter and story of war and mystic prophecy, and the image itself is gripping and the sight of the giant humanoid creature tearing itself apart mirrored the pain, struggle and agony I often try to express with my words.

[soft-construction]

Soft Construction with Boiled Beans (Premonition of Civil War) (1936)

[soft-construction]

*From 2016*

So a few months ago I replied to an ad my girlfriend found on Gumtree looking for a band to join. Their music tastes were great and seemed really enthusiastic. And sold me with talk of links and music experience. Upon meeting the girls I was more than impressed by their characters. Though there was a slight worry into the first jam of how long it would take for confidence and drive will last out for, especially with money and mental problems an ongoing issue. We then were joined by the new bassist who was older than us all and had music experience and a cool software program. It was fun melding ideas together and just being with like-minded people but after they met without me to talk about the sound they were going for (which was inherently the opposite of mine) I knew things couldn’t recover well. Fair to say I weren’t pleased. I just want to rock out.

[soft-construction]

Bandmates, where art thou?

Gumtree. Join my band. Word of mouth. But mostly gumtree. I searched and searched for someone who would be willing to learn or help make some basslines and someone to play drums while I take the role of guitarist, lyricist, vocalist, songwriter: frontman. Lemme tell you, it ain't easy. I think a lot of people consider themselves as capable of fronting a band, being the point of adoration, the focus, the star. Egos are hard to squash. Which i guess includes my own. I always thought that though I was the one making all the music it would still be a democracy and the input and creativity of the other members would improve the songs.

But after each ghosting, or flake that I was about to meet and never show up, or people who would rather take charge of my music I decided it could no longer be an even playing field. From the drummer from Essex who always wore a dumb hat and didn't like that I would write the lyrics to the two songs we had come up with, to the Italian girl who didn't like The Beatles, it was a crushing defeat after another. The worst I actually wrote about in a drafted blog post that I declined to publish (until after this one). Every time I thought I hit the jackpot I would lose it all within 2 months. Am I just really hard to work with?

I never really had the confidence in my work to really assert my dominance and take charge and be a leader. But I still would make the trip all over to attempt to rehearse with people I could not handle. All the while continuing to write and write music by myself and formulate them into distinct sounding pieces of work.

It became clear this wasn't working and I half considered dropping my music and joining another band (hence the very brief idea of restarting Kid Y). But I really had no choice. I could have found a session drummer and recorded things on my own like I had at home and maybe that would have been the wisest idea but where we to play live the problem would resurface. I needed members, even just for show. It's harder to make rock music and be able to sell yourself.

Luckily with gumtree I persevered. Through that I found a friend who also had her own music venture that she has to work on and in her place she would find me someone who knew what the band would entail and liked the sound of my demos. With the added confidence I could finally ask an friend who I had met through my mate from Kid Y if he would want to be in a proper serious musical venture and we now have all the components for a band that can actually play live someday

[soft-construction]

Kid Y

2013. The time had come. I found a friend who wanted to start a band like Scott Pilgrim. We met at uni á la Black Francis and Joey Santiago of the Pixies which we both loved. We both dreamed of obtaining a cute girl to play with us like Kim Deal or Kim Gordon (Kims man). We were to be Kid Y, a generational pun on the seminal Radiohead album Kid A. The music was gonna be a melee of indie noise experimental rock with fluttering guitar licks and swirling feedback with a repetitive but strong melodic basslines. By that time however I had obtained a guitar, graduated uni with a philosophy degree and had a lot of free time to practice and jam to myself. I had come across a free mixing software to lay down demo ideas of songs which I recorded onto my phone or iPod. For a year we had jammed in that attic he shared with his girlfriend above a family home in Collier's Wood, a far trip to make from Elephant and Castle often bringing my big amp along the way, on top of smoking copious amounts of weed. In that time we had like 4 songs including a cover of the Daria theme tune "You're Standing On My Neck" which we had hoped to play live at an open mic night, with just both of us playing guitar. Strange. Glad that never came to fruition. It would have been bad. Whereas I had started to dream and pretend to come up with albums and tracklists and what song titles would fit what concept. As well as dream songs and titles (some I would use years later) I had already written an album and a half of instrumental space rock songs inspired by a recent watch of 2001: A Space Odyssey, sci fi and metaphysics. The slow rate at which we were making music in Kid Y in comparison to myself, along with a lack of luck in finding a drummer, the problem of playing rock music above a family home and limited finances meant we were done for. Despite attempts in the to revive the band in 2016, I knew the same frustrations would arise and I knew by 2015 I had to start focusing on my own music which has grown exponentially, though they're still home demos I record with my phone in a free mixing app with no percussion. At least it's something. I now have a foundation. I just needed people who could make my dream of being in a reality

[soft-construction]

Thank you Scott Pilgrim

I owe a lot to that film. I still haven't read the graphic novels yet which is a major issue but that film kickstarted the burning urge to make some organised noise with some friends. By 2010 I had obtained a bass and was ready to learn and start jamming. Of course I knew no one at my very beginner level of skill and was resigned to playing along to my favourite tunes at home on my own. It was a start.

[soft-construction]

I'm in a band

Well you can't really call it a band just yet. It's more of a solo project fronted by me, a shy, tall, thin black dude from central London who somehow got turned onto rock music and was inspired to start making music as a creative outlet when drawing pictures of characters from anime with a realistic spin turned stale.

[soft-construction]

The collection is growing But I need more MORE