softboyshipping

[softboyshipping]

i need to credit shipboys for the fact that it taught me how to take my nsfw art seriously and was the catalyst for me improving so much and getting to where i am today... that's pretty cool

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dude in an omocat crying anime girl shirt just walked in. did not tip. kept saying “oh. rip.” whenever we were out of something. i feel like im hallucinating

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american psycho au drawings i did!!

then i wrote a fic that isn't... exactly the same tone as these drawings

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okay maybe toxic gamer rpf yaoi is the only yaoi I still respect

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anyone else thinking about nick and griffin in the year 2023

[softboyshipping]

shipboys

[softboyshipping]

nick and griff turn into caricatures during the holidays, but like, in opposite directions. 

griff tends to stress himself out easily, feeling like he has to do everything and plan everything and make sure it all goes smoothly. but nick leans into his go with the flow attitude, really channeling his holiday spirit and indulging himself. 

and the two feed off each other so well, supporting each other in ways that help them balance out. 

griff buys the posh decorations they just need to have this year, and nick is the one to arrange them in a clumsy but charming way. nick turns into a one man potluck crew in the kitchen, and griff is the one to turn it into a cohesive and presentable dinner. 

even just decorating the tree turns into a whole back and forth. they laugh and fake argue about how gaudy their ornaments are versus how neatly they’re placed. look, look, for god’s sake, look at the tree, it doesn’t even have any candy canes on it! no, the deconstructed spirals don’t count! 

just absolute nonsense that lasts until it’s too cold and they’re forced to sit back on the couch, huddled under the blankets and admiring their handiwork from afar. 

the two of them just humming praise at each other for, well, ultimately pretty standard collaborative work, reluctant to get up and shamble off to bed. 

never even letting go so they can keep some warmth from each other into the sheets. 

[softboyshipping]

who unfollowed me after i posted for the first time in months. come back here. you can’t escape the past that easily you FOOL

[softboyshipping]

uM hi i just wanted to say that like one year later i still love your writing and your art, and i miss this ship!!! it’s been a rough few months but i still really genuinely love everything you brought to this fandom

hewwo! i only just saw this, coincidentally after purging anything& everything related to polygon / nick / pre-august 2017 mcelroys from my main blog’s drafts in a bout of unwanted and unexpected nostalgia. so this couldn’t have been timed better, i suppose

even though i feel like i’ve mostly moved on from All of this (and god do i want to believe i’ve moved on because i DON’T want anything to do with this fandom anymore) there’s still times when i find myself missing different aspects of this community? it was a nice ship. i hadn’t really been a part of something since BEFORE the beginning. i spent so long waiting for this ship to come together, and it finally happened, and it was glorious, and then it became the most soul-crushing and disheartening experience… that unfortunately defined the better part of my entire year. i quit my job, skipped a year of school, lost touch with friends and stopped taking care of myself because of what he did, and that’s so.. embarrassing and pathetic to say but it’s true. last fall wasn’t great for me, and it’s not JUST because nick turned out to be a scummy human. i guess part of it is because of so much more of what it represented– things i’m still learning in disappointing and upsetting ways. people aren’t who you think they are. people you love, idolize, and respect can let you down painfully and intimately. my judgement is flawed, by my own emotions no less, and i know i shouldn’t put people on a pedestal, but i do anyways, because having someone to draw parts of my own personality from validates the person i am (and want to be). being a public figure (something i aspire to be) involves an amount of risk and thick skin, and no one is perfect but some things are inexcusable, and shitty apologies that snowball into cringy behavior a year later is a good sign they aren’t someone i should waste my time with.

this turned into a weird, personal rant but there’s been a lot on my main lately. in any case, i really do miss the friends i made in shipboys (and if anyone wants to reconnect ever, just being a part of that community is good enough for me. we were some ride-or-die motherfuckers). knowing that people still can derive joy from the silly content i made honestly makes the entire thing worth it, so thank you very much for the message. i’m glad you’re hanging in there :’‘3

[softboyshipping]

this blog's kinda deceased but i wanted to thank anyone who ever looks at it again for... idk... just for being here? it's been more than a year now since the start of the shipboys community and it was without a doubt the most chaotic, tumultuous, and close-knit fandom experience i've ever had. i learned a lot, and met some truly amazing people that i'll never forget. and it sucks that things ended the way the did, i'll probably be sad about it forever, but i'm finally slowly moving on and starting to feel a little closure. so thank you to everyone that was a part of it in any way. even if you just followed this blog and liked a post or two it was still absolutely awe-inspiring for me to watch such a happy, loving community form from nothing. i don't regret any of it and even though i miss everyone, it's the way things had to be. so thanks for the good times, everyone.

[softboyshipping]

i miss shipboys lol

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and i feel Missing nick coolgames in this chilis tonight

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god i just want. more shipboys content because there's literally nothing like it and their relationship is so deeply important to me i don't fucking know dude i think i intentionally distanced the dudes i shipped from the Actual Griff And Nick that realizing nicks a huge piece of shit is so foreign and shitty to me i just miss the fictional versions of them that are in love?????? but that's not them so it's all weird and it's also unacceptable now i don't know if i WANT to move on

i ssaw this sooooo late but i can’t sleep so why not get into it LMAO

i think everyone did, to some extent? like that’s the biggest thing about rpf i guess. the characterizations for nick n griff that everyone shipped were like.. pretty far removed from any Real Human and i think that was the general consensus. which is part of what’s made it hard for me to reconcile the fallout with everything that’s happened. i still have so many conflicting feelings cus i miss the community, i miss the content, and i waited so long SO VERY VERY LONG for this ship to finally happen, i was on this train since this time last year and watching everyone come together.. it was magical, and so much fun, and uhh i miss it. and like all that aside i still get upset all the dam time cus of how much i want their video series’ and podcasts back in my life. i havent been able to enjoy any po/ygon stuff for the past two months which sucks! hate that it had to happen this way and i have so many regrets

i still go back and reread old fic and look at the art probably more than i should cus im a crybaby who cant move on.. idk….. its ruff cus i hate nick but im mostly angry at myself cus my anger is so self absorbed and it’s frustrating to realize that i hate him for getting rid of all the content that i loved for so long. mm it’s still a lot of confusing thoughts and it’s no fun at all! but what can you do. for what it’s worth i had a good time and i’m so proud to be a part of it haha

anyways i don’t even know if anyone else is still hung up over this i’m P Sure it’s just me being gross by myself.. but i’m here if anyone does need to talk about it, God Do I Feel The Same. i suck so much at responding to messages but it’s been a hard thing and i get that :<

[softboyshipping]

wowwwwwwww i miss them so much lol

[softboyshipping]

hey im ummmmmmmmm depressed and emo and i miss this ship so bad and i love to look at the decaying graveyard of what used to be fun n happy times. good + cool

[softboyshipping]

see everyone’s already moved tf on with their life but im still so fucked up over it, and ive only just managed to come to terms enough to write publicly about how i feel re: this situation

[softboyshipping]

stupid that i still think about all of this Every Damn Day and wish i could get over it already! but i don’t really want to move on is the problem! i have too many emotions attached to everything this stood for and i cant even begin to separate them all. stupid that i hyperfixated so badly and cant fill that ugly void it left behind. stupid that i idolized nick but never admitted it to myself, and havent been able to reconcile my feelings with what’s happened to the degree where i can continue to enjoy content while separating out the bad parts. sucks bad and it still hurts and i hate it