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making a tcoaal skateboard for art class :3

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making a tcoaal skateboard for art class :3

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I wonder if something could be said about Ashley's apparent penchant for drawing.

Leyley used to draw a lot. This, in itself, is nothing special: many kids draw as a hobby. The most noteworthy thing is that Leyley loved to draw so much, she'd do it on the walls, which Andy had to clean...

... and on Andy's notes, which made it difficult for him to study.

I don't need to say that this is just one of the many ways Leyley begged for attention and approval, which most surely had the opposite effect.

However, what made me pause a bit are three completely separate scenes.

This is in the very opening of the game:

We don't see Ashley drawing as an adult, but she doesn't seem to be very confident in herself. Then again, at this point in the game, it could be just goodhearted self-deprecation. It does say something, however, that she's still clinging onto that drawing, both because it's so old and not good-looking, and what it represents.

This is after Ashley, as a teen, has a meltdown over Andrew "seeing Julia":

Andrew is being mean, but to be fair to him, he's also angry and interprets the torn drawing as a way to make him feel bad, so I'll let it pass. The artstyle is so crude, I assume this is another old drawing: the lemon muffin is a reference to a way Andy celebrated Leyley's birthday when they were kids, so it's possible she drew it back then. And then kept it for years, before destroying it in a fit of heartbroken rage. It's how she conveyed her love for her brother, and it was that important to her, that apparently, she still had it in grabbing and tearing vicinity. Her hate for Nina is as important as her love for Andrew.

(the other option is, of course, that it's a much more recent drawing, and yes, this is a pretty abysmal way of drawing for a teen who apparently has been doing so for years. I still wouldn't call it garbage though, Andrew, she meant well :<)

Not much after that scene, Andrew also tells us this:

Whether Ashley still draws in her teen years or has stopped, at least we know it's more important to her than her homework, and enough for Andrew to comment on it.

And this is an offhand comment Renee makes to her mother while pretending she doesn't regret her life choices and children.

This is how Renee chooses to paint Ashley in a good light: by praising her art. Which is a lie, of course, because even back then she wasn't exactly Leonardo Da Vinci, but hey, grandma doesn't need to know about that. Worthy of note is that, despite doing everything in her power to interact with her daughter as little as possible, she did notice how much Leyley likes to draw (although afawk it could be because she once saw her drawing on the walls, so it's even more of a backhanded compliment).

So I suppose Leyley's cry for attention did work, in part.

It's a running gag that Ashley is a pretty bad artist. More than once, people point out she struggles to draw circles.

Speaking of attention seeking behavior, and how Renee keeps denying it.

So, what do I take from this?

That Ashley had a predisposition for drawing, clearly enjoying it regardless of her talent, and partially did so as a way to yell "look at me! I'm a person too! I have feelings, here they are!" at the world; but that predisposition was never nurtured, neglected as she was. Her art was ugly at best, a bother at worst. So she never developed her artistic skills, stagnated, and now she's a "bad" artist, which she resents. It's quite a shame, because of all the ways you could vent your feelings, art is by far the healthiest. Perhaps she would have been less destructive.

Naturally, this is part of one of the game's key themes: Ashley never grew up. She wasn't given the tools to, and now, she doesn't even want to. So she never developed past the "Leyley" phase of her life, still drawing in a childish way, still "playing" with her bunny plushies in her mind, still clinging onto her child self when Andrew wants nothing more than to grow up (or so he says). Much like her art, she too was seen mostly as an embarrassment, and so never improved. But every scrap of attention Andrew gives her? Means the world to her. And that's why she keeps going.

Lastly: every ending of the game comes with a crude crayon drawing.

It makes me believe that Ashley's art, ugly and childish as it is, is an important part of her, and her perception of the world.

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The Graves Siblings Codependency

Andrew was always forced to take care of Ashley, he was taught to always put her as a priority, Study? No, you should be keeping an eye on Ashley, Dating? No, that will make Ashley jealous. If Ashley did something wrong, he was punished for not being there to stop her, which led him to put his dreams aside, and live only for her (even if unconsciously). Even when he has the chance to escape he goes back to Ashley, he learned to live for her, he doesn't know how to live without her. On the other hand, Ashley also has a strong dependence on him, she constantly mentions that nobody likes her, nobody cares about her, everyone finds her annoying, she is afraid of being abandoned by Andrew, she is afraid of being alone. Andrew was the only one who stayed by her side, the only one who took care of her. She herself prefers to live an unhappy life by his side than to be alone, she has several visions of being murdered by him, and yet she remains by his side.

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So there's an interesting detail I noticed. As far as we know, the Graves family's visit to their grandparents, where Andy accidentally contacted Lord Unknown for the first time, took place before Nina's death...

...yet Andy was already a grime soul at the time, as evidenced by the out-of-body experience he has at the very start of the episode.

Given that a soul's color in TCOAAL is determined by the individual person's own perception of themselves and the entire "How to Be a Walking Disappointment" segment that follows a bit later, the most reasonable explanation for this would be that Andy already saw himself as an awful person due to Renee's abuse. It's the "my parents don't like me = there's something inherently wrong with me" logic very common in abused children.

Andrew was convinced he was horrible since before the age of 10.

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drew myself in Ashley's sprite :p

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Me when I go from shipping one sibling/sibling ship to every sibling ship in a month

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"Well just a quick kiss while no one is looking…"

source - Jellobom

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Really interesting what Andrew says at the end of decaying along, that his feelings for ashley are just psychological and that he wouldn’t have them if their parents weren’t abusive. certainly their relationship would’ve been different, but overall I call bullshit on what he says, and I don’t think it makes sense to take Mr. Unreliable Narrator’s words at face value. Decaying along is about Andrew refusing to take any responsibility for his own feelings, actions, or anything really. He lets ashley take the lead, then uses her as a scapegoat for things he does willingly. he wants to be normal so bad. he has this idea in his head that he must do what authority and society tell him to, otherwise there’ll be consequences, which scare Andrew more than anything else. He’s seen it in high school, what happens if he gets too close to ashley. It’s so much easier to convince himself that he’s actually just a normal guy if he blames his attraction to his sister on external factors. “it’s all because of how ashley acts” or “it’s all because of our upbringing”. sure andrew, it’s never because you peek at her in the shower. clearly that’s her fault as well. or when he imagines his girlfriend as ashley. or when he pretends to have nightmares so she’ll let him into her bed at night. Andrew feeds into his own attraction but then refuses to acknowledge it.

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people are like: oh my god they are forcing gravescest!! and then the incest is literally a crucial point for both characters in the game?

I'm sorry if you played everything with your eyes closed and needed a whole sex scene to make it explicit on your face

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normal siblings. nothing wrong with them

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if i ever see another "andrew isn't a bad person it's just ashley's influence-" post after his interactions with julia in 3a again i'm confiscating your media literacy badge forever

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saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

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oh teenage gravecest my love <3

AHFHFNWMDN I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEY'RE SO CUTIE PATOOTIE

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What should have happened on their parents' couch. :3c

I quite like drawing in greyscale, haven't had a good opportunity to do so before these beauties.

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Found this meme on IG

Fixed it

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hi tumblr, take my absolutely dog shit doodle of Ashley