solar-jack

[solar-jack]

NORMALIZE IN-SYS RELATIONSHIPS!!!!

Okay aggressive title aside I wanna talk about romantic headmate relationships

I want expressing them to be more normalized!!! I think it's generally well known at this point that headmates can have relationships with each other. But I never see it talked about much beyond that it's a thing that happens.

I wanna hear about how people experience their relationships. I wanna hear what folks do together and how they express their love.

But something we especially wanna hear is how systems do physical affection.

"Physical affection?! But you only have one body!" THAT DOES NOT STOP US IN FACT IT MAKES IT EXTREMELY INTIMATE

We hold our own hands. We kiss our own body. We wrap our arms around ourself. And we want this to be normalized. Okay sure maybe it looks a little odd at first, but this is normal to us. And we want others to see it as normal and okay too.

(I swear to fucking god if "showing headmate affection on camera" becomes the new thing used to fakeclaim like how switching on camera is I will YELL)

I wanna be able to show our affection in front of someone else and make them uncomfortable NOT BECAUSE IT'S OUR OWN BODY but because they're being a third wheel just like to singlet couples.

[solar-jack]

we're late to seeing this but just wanna say we appreciate the response and really like hearing this input. this is cool, thanks, we'll keep it in mind

Thinkin a little bit about this blog

have been on an accidental hiatus and came back here to thoughts about our blog, being openly plural, and such.

This blog when created was meant to be a collective blog for all of us, but was seemingly probably created by only 1 or 2 of us who were frontstuck at the time (still exploring this our system is a mess) so as a result it's very themed by those folks who created it. even down to our original username only really described one of us hence why we changed it to something more collective or at least sorta neutral. And now we're trying to get back into the flow of being more harmonious with each other and allowing each other our own time, so that includes what we want to do with this blog. Both with little details like simply the color palette and big things like what we actually post on here. We have soooo many varied interests that if this was truly a collective blog it would be a mess of like 20 different fandoms. And we're debating on if we want a blog like that or not and how we would even keep up with that if we all wanted to be like actually active in those fandoms.

Before you say give everyone their own side blog: no we're not doing that there are too many of us for that it would be chaos and too messy and not really reflective of how we see ourselves (we are different people yes but also very intertwined with each other). We have considered tho maybe making a separate blog for plural stuff than for fandom/art/music/writing stuff but also dunno if we wanna do that because which one would be the main blog and also we want to post whatever we want on main which maybe sometimes is plural maybe sometimes is other topics idfk i'm thinking this up as i type it. like it would be more organized to have separate blogs sure but why separate it when both are very important things to us.

also before anyone asks about our paganism side blog: that one is separate to keep a more serious and cohesive tone to it and also to keep main friendly/accessible to those who may not wanna see any religious content. so it's a different debate than the one about if we should have a separate blog for plural stuff

Anyway my incoherent rambling aside. Fellow systems, how do you organize your blog(s) while also maintaining it being a collective thing/making it feel welcoming to all headmates while also not having it be a total mess?

[solar-jack]

Okay so who would want a youtube channel about plurality and systems but like- fun.

Not the usual:

"hurr durr, lookie here singlets i'm weeeeeeird. But look! I can make myself palatable for you while still making myself out to be a circus freak show exhibit! like my video pls pls follow me like my video LIKE MY VIDEO GIVE ME MOOOONNNNNEEEYYY"

or

"This is why if you are a system you should be suffering 24/7 and not ever be happy ever. By me, a system host who is a grade A asshole to my alters and definitely is not the reason why they all hate me and I haven't rEcOvErEd yet"

or

"Look at this I'm a normal neurotypical singlet and I am talking to this WEIRD FUCKING WEIRDO who is WEIRD!!"

or

"THIS PERSON IS A FAKER BECAUSE THEY'RE UNDER 18, USE ON SOCIAL MEDIA, HAVE DYED HAIR AND ARE AUTISTIC!! BULLY THEM OFF THE INTERNET MY LOYAL VIEWERS!!"

But like actual fun content!! Positive and entertaining, with some educational stuff sprinkled in. Plural people want to watch fun videos for them too!! We're think of things like this:

- Fun activities to do with headmates

- reacting to my headmates fanfics of my source

- plural adjacent media recommendations

But also some commentary and help vids

- plural news: a monthly look at the community

- systok and what's wrong with it

- etc.

Bc who doesn't like a bit of gossip ;3

Does anyone have any other ideas??? Oh and also tell us if you like the idea!!

[solar-jack]

Btw, I can't believe I have to say this;

ENDOGENIC SUBSYSTEMS ARE A THING

Endos can have complex structures too. YOU CANNOT TELL PEOPLE HOW THEIR OWN BRAIN WORKS, PLEASE STOP.

[solar-jack]

Finished my zine piece therefore I can finally relax and have some fun

[solar-jack]

Thinkin a little bit about this blog

have been on an accidental hiatus and came back here to thoughts about our blog, being openly plural, and such.

This blog when created was meant to be a collective blog for all of us, but was seemingly probably created by only 1 or 2 of us who were frontstuck at the time (still exploring this our system is a mess) so as a result it's very themed by those folks who created it. even down to our original username only really described one of us hence why we changed it to something more collective or at least sorta neutral. And now we're trying to get back into the flow of being more harmonious with each other and allowing each other our own time, so that includes what we want to do with this blog. Both with little details like simply the color palette and big things like what we actually post on here. We have soooo many varied interests that if this was truly a collective blog it would be a mess of like 20 different fandoms. And we're debating on if we want a blog like that or not and how we would even keep up with that if we all wanted to be like actually active in those fandoms.

Before you say give everyone their own side blog: no we're not doing that there are too many of us for that it would be chaos and too messy and not really reflective of how we see ourselves (we are different people yes but also very intertwined with each other). We have considered tho maybe making a separate blog for plural stuff than for fandom/art/music/writing stuff but also dunno if we wanna do that because which one would be the main blog and also we want to post whatever we want on main which maybe sometimes is plural maybe sometimes is other topics idfk i'm thinking this up as i type it. like it would be more organized to have separate blogs sure but why separate it when both are very important things to us.

also before anyone asks about our paganism side blog: that one is separate to keep a more serious and cohesive tone to it and also to keep main friendly/accessible to those who may not wanna see any religious content. so it's a different debate than the one about if we should have a separate blog for plural stuff

Anyway my incoherent rambling aside. Fellow systems, how do you organize your blog(s) while also maintaining it being a collective thing/making it feel welcoming to all headmates while also not having it be a total mess?

[solar-jack]

"fakers are a concern because what if people start thinking real systems are faking" then that's a skill issue. I've seen actual fakers confess to their lies and I'm not out here accusing random systems of lying about their entire lives. I'm not creating arbitrary guidelines that "real systems" have to follow or else they're automatically labelled as fakers. I'm not treating every system I meet with distrust and suspicion by default. That's a ridiculous overreaction to a couple liars on the Internet. And if it's a medical professional of some kind using that handful of liars as an excuse to not give a patient proper medical attention and treatment? Then that's also on them. It's so easy to not judge people based on the actions of other, unrelated people. If people don't do that, again: skill issue.

[solar-jack]

living as a system is honestly the important part. coming out as one isn't necessary, if you all feel it won't be safe. you do not have to disclose being a system, but living as one in whatever capacity you are able to is important. realizing it and figuring out ways to express yourselves and live your individual lives helps a lot more than telling folks who may or may not get it, such as family

try to find ways to enrich your lives as best as possible. let yourselves dress differently, talk differently, act differently. do differently hobbies. eat different foods. go to different places. pick up new interests. engage with different media. create different types of art. whatever constructive influence you feel from others inside, go ahead and nurture that

you don't have to know everyone's names yet to live and be independent. whether or not you have dissociative or other types of barriers shouldn't hold you back from being yourselves, whether that's in your headspace or innerworld, or expressing it on the outside in a way you all understand. this is crucial for your collective health and well being. it just helps to be able to be yourselves

[solar-jack]

Your relationships with your headmates are just as real and important as your relationships with people outside of your system!!!

There's an idea that we had ingrained into us that was pretty prevalent in the community that was like, your relationships with your headmates can't substitute real interpersonal relationships. And I think that notion is SO dehumanizing. Yes having relationships outside your system is important but sometimes you have exactly what you want inside your system and trying to "substitute it with something real" is just gonna hurt everyone involved!!!

If your closest and most important relationships are inside your system THAT'S AWESOME. KEEP IT UP. You and your headmates are NOT flawed for this!!!!!!

[solar-jack]

klinger i have grown very fond of you

[solar-jack]

captain kirk!

[solar-jack]

five minute hawkeye :}

[solar-jack]

We wanna start tagging our posts based on who wrote them like we've seen some systems do, but not sure how to create a coherent tagging system. Any advice?

Guess we can start by just signing off posts with our names.

- Corey

[solar-jack]

Shrödinger's Plurality: every symptom of disordered systemhood is also a sign of being neither disordered nor a system, all at once.

...an it's like in a box with a fragile vial of singletism or smthn.

And it, uh...

Man, this joke is really runnin' outa steam already huh

[solar-jack]

Picked nuance so I'm gonna try to explain...

To some extent we do. We have plural friends and we have this blog and we get to see all the cool things other systems post. But also we kinda don't. Our system has a lot of differences from a lot of the standard experiences that make us feel left out when we have to explain how we function to just about everybody. And while we have this blog it's pretty small currently and nobody really knows us here on tumblr yet so sometimes it kinda feels like just talking into the void rather than being actively involved in a community... It's really cool to see other systems out there but also yall all feel so close yet so far away like hi how do I join yall in the fun instead of just existing alone with ourselves

[solar-jack]

part 3 wow, maybe i will go to bed soon.

[solar-jack]

hollyleaf but i only use lasso tool to draw