solarromantic

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Context is important! Pole and sex work are inextricably linked, but there are distinctions between them. Strippers made this hobby what it is, and taught me what I know, and while I haven’t lived that life, I’m honoured to stand on their shoulders.

I hear Patreon has cool stuff

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If Cosmere Characters Were Given Three Wishes From a Genie...

As requested by anon. :)

[A few of the jokes in this are WAT spoilers! They are marked in the entry title in case you need to skip 'em]

Cosmere characters have just rubbed a magic lamp and now they're being offered three wishes by a genie! How will that go for them?

1. Steris

Genie: There are three rules! Genie: I cannot kill anyone, I cannot bring anyone back to life, and I cannot make anyone fall in love. Steris: (Taking notes) Can I wish for more wishes? Genie: No. Steris: Can I wish for someone else to have more wishes? Genie: Also no. Steris: Can I cancel a wish in the future if I no longer want it? Genie: ...no. Steris: Can I modify a wish after wishing it? Genie: ...no. Steris: I see. Steris: My first wish, then, is to help you create an actual Wish Rule Handbook because that, I'm afraid, is a lot more than three rules. Steris: Let's get drafting! Genie: Why am I afraid

2. Kelsier

Kelsier: Three wishes? Amazing! Kelsier: First, I'd like to finally obtain the exact physical body I've been dreaming of all these years! Kelsier: Second, I'd like Scadrial to be utterly protected from the nefarious designs of Odium or any other hostile Shard. Kelsier: And third, I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for the rest of his life. Kelsier: Phew! That was way easier than what I've been doing! Kelsier: I can't believe I wasted hundreds of years on machinations, ha ha! Genie: ... Kelsier: What?

3. Szeth [Mild WAT spoilers!]

Szeth: (suspiciously) Wishes? Szeth: As in, things that I personally want? Szeth: What is this, some kind of therapy? Szeth: Away with you! Genie: H-Hey, if you want to wish for some therapy, it sounds like that might be kind of helpful for you? Szeth: Away, I say! Genie: Well, I tried.

4. Taravangian

Taravangian: [slams a 400-page tome down on the table] Taravangian: This is my first wish--it includes caveats for every possible loophole, bad faith interpretation, and/or unintended consequence. Taravangian: I declare that this whole book constitutes the sum total of Wish #1. Genie: ...Which is? Taravangian: I'd like Hoid to stub his toe every day for as long as he lives. Genie: ... Genie: That wish required 400 pages?! Taravangian: I like to be thorough.

5. Vin

Vin: I would like to always have the exact metal or metals I desire in my flask as soon as I desire them. Vin: I'd also like Elend to feel a surge of reassurance that yes of course I love him whenever he feels doubt. Genie: Two very fine wishes. What is your third? Vin: Hmmm.... Vin: Honestly, I just keep thinking that I'd like to be faster than a horse. Genie: ...Like, horses in general or one specific horse? Vin: Just...horses in general. Genie: ...It's not the weirdest wish I've heard today.

6. Adolin [WAT SPOILERS!]

Adolin: Oooh, I've always wanted the ability to point at an outfit in a fashion magazine and instantly have that outfit in my perfect size. Genie: Granted! Adolin: I'd also like Shallan to be brought here safely to Azimir if that's what she wants--like, please ask her first just in case. Genie: Granted! Adolin: ... Adolin: I would also like everyone to think I gave those wishes in the reverse order. Genie: Granted! Adolin: Wait, does that count as a wish?? Adolin: ... Adolin: No, actually I'm okay with that.

7. Azure

Azure: I would like to know where Nightblood is, please. Azure: I've been looking for so long! It's IMPOSSIBLE to find! Genie: [silently hands her a map] Azure: ... Azure: IT'S BEEN ON ROSHAR THE WHOLE TIME?!

8. Lightsong

Lightsong: You grant three wishes, huh? Lightsong: I can only grant one wish. And I have to die to do it. Genie: That's a tough break. Lightsong: Well, to be fair I live a life of luxury and worship, rather than being trapped in a tiny lamp. Genie: I appreciate that. Many people treat my abilities as frivolous, wishing for things they could obtain for themselves if they tried or for things they should never truly have. Genie: It is a genuine relief to meet someone who understands the true import of wishes. Lightsong: ... Lightsong: I was gonna wish for you to hand me that glass so I don't have to get up, but now it feels awkward. Genie: ... Lightsong: I'm just really comfortable right now.

9. Kaladin

Kaladin: [muttering to himself] Can't wish for all of my friends to be safe. They'd probably be magically locked in a room forever or something. Kaladin: I could wish for Oroden to grow up happy, but what if that means he dies if he gets sad or something? Or like loses the ability to feel things? Kaladin: I could wish for Moash to go back to how he was, but how could I take away his ability to make choices? Kaladin: It's too much! I don't want any wishes! Genie: Uh....granted? Kaladin: Did that count as a wish???

10. Venli

Venli: I wish for your freedom. Genie: ... Genie: As your first wish? Venli: Yup. Genie: Not as, like, your third wish after you obtain two other wishes? Venli: Nah. Genie: W-Who are you?? Venli: I'm a Willshaper, baby. Tumi: [hums contentedly]

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"60-70,000 geese" is the new "i found 100,000 dollars"

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[link]

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Something I love about DS9’s framing of Jake Sisko is how he’s consistently positioned as someone worthy of protection, whose survival and flourishing and emotional well-being are of tantamount importance, and whose innocence and vulnerability are precious.

It’s present from all directions in The Visitor. Everybody protectively closes ranks around Jake upon Ben’s disappearance, with those little moments of Dax and Kira and Bashir giving him physical affection and reassurance and Quark going out of his way to be nice to him. Jake’s older self’s protective impulses towards his younger self, as well as his desire to save his father, are the basis for the timeline reset. And then after the spacetime continuum gets wrenched back in line purely to save Jake from the emotional trauma of losing his father, the episode ends with Ben, who’s borne witness to everything and is the only one who remembers it all, continuing that work of shielding Jake from that knowledge.

And then Nor the Battle to the Strong carries on the thread of protectiveness towards Jake, in that case as part of the episode’s deconstruction of military heroism. As he’s marinating in shame over bailing on the mission to retrieve the generator, Bashir apologizes to him and says he was wrong to put Jake in harm’s way in the first place. And then at the end, he wakes up after sealing the cave entranceway and both Bashir and his father are tenderly looking after him, with similar imagery to The Visitor in terms of him being symbolically cradled by the other cast members’ concern for him. He never needs to toughen up or grow out of that need to be rescued - in fact, his fear and panic and feelings of being out of his depth prove to be immensely valuable, as his last conversation with his father emphasizes, because he’s able to bear witness to the experience of the soldiers through his writing.

That comes through in a really interesting way in Valiant as well, with Jake’s emphatic concern for his own survival in the midst of all the culty militaristic weirdness of the Valiant crew:

Nog: You don’t understand, because you’ve never put on one of these uniforms. You don’t know anything about sacrifice, or honor, or duty, or any other things that make up a soldier’s life. I’m part of something larger than myself. All you care about is you.

Jake: That’s right. All I care about is Jake Sisko and whether or not he’s going to be killed by a bunch of delusional fanatics looking for martyrdom.

And I love that exchange not only because it’s a rare articulation of how I would actually feel in a situation like that in a franchise full of characters who are all prepared to sacrifice themselves in the line of duty, but also because in the context of the episode, Jake’s position is actually the heroic one! It’s his sense of self-preservation, and the fact that he hasn’t romanticized the notion of heroic sacrifice, that enables him to see through the dogmatic ideology of the Valiant cadets and recognize how dangerously out of their depth they are. And it’s just a nice articulation of his own worth.

(And of course the Defiant rescues them at the end, because Jake’s grown up now, but he hasn’t outgrown needing his father to save him. And that’s never a shameful thing, but a really beautiful thing, and necessary to the fabric of the show.)

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Just finished Heavenly Tyrant by Xiran Jay Zhou and it was incredible, have many thoughts on Qin Zheng that I must share. Spoilers below the cut (major ones are marked but the post has lots of spoilers so read with caution if you want to avoid)

Ok so he’s such a compelling character. He’s human and idealistic and ruthless and terrifying. He demands to be taken seriously. However I also think that on a conceptual level he is simply so funny. None of these moments are humorous in context but like. You will understand what I mean

featuring such hits as

“No I wasn’t being sexist, I was just literally dying and did Not wanna move thanks very much”

Being so incredibly disappointed that society is somehow more sexist and capitalistic than in his day 200 years ago. Like “aren’t you people better than this? No? You’re gonna get less sexist real fast or I’ll sic my wife on you. The capitalism I will solve myself using her ex-boyfriend’s underground crime networks”

his coronation speech was literally “in my capacity as the legendary god-emperor who founded your country, which I have done through my control of a massive fuck off dragon robot that can and will turbo-murder you, I declare that we WILL be having a communist Revolution whether you like it or not. All power to the people but no I will not resign my position or give up control of my bigass mecha thanks very much”

he simply will Not Think About how his new empress has been married before, kinda. And also her other boyfriend is now his head advisor which isn’t awkward at all, and no he’s not insecure but also anyone to copilot with Zetian had better be a eunuch for Perfectly Reasonable Reasons That Have Nothing To Do With Insecurity

Canonically does not understand dick jokes

he’s the only main character that hasn’t murdered his family so you would think he might be more hinged, and yet is responsible for the massive reign of terror, and is somehow even less hinged than Wu Zetian who has to be the reasonable one (and that is. Saying Something given that Wu Zetian in the last book was the angriest most ruthless character I’ve ever read and now she has to be the comparatively hinged one??)

worryingly literal about “no gods no masters”

and, crucially, the funniest one in my humble opinion:

Less than zero understanding of consent and bodily autonomy UNLESS AND UNTIL he’s actively fucking. Like man learned exactly One Lesson on consent but dude, making sure you have a safeword does not make up for the whole [MASSIVE SPOILER] nonconsensual egg harvesting and foot reconstruction and all that shit! [END SPOILER] Genuinely it’s hilarious to me that he is responsible about getting consent but ONLY about the sex shit and NOTHING ELSE which is arguably the more important shit (especially the you know, less-fake-than-agreed-upon pregnancy, which uh. Should definitely be a joint decision!!)

anyway this book was an experience and I will probably turn around and reread it before I need to return it to the library because I just KNOW theres things I’m not getting because I just wanted to Know What Happened

[HUGE SPOILER FOR END OF THE BOOK] and also the end of the book was just the meme of two astronauts looking at earth with Qin Zheng going “wait it’s all capitalism?” And the Heavenly Court going “always has been” which I will probably make at some point that is not 4am!

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Cake i made today that looks like an amnesiacs distant memory

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For no reason here is a library story

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DS9 as a show dares to ask the important questions, like for example “would Star Trek still be good if it was set at the food court at the mall??” and the answer to that is “yes, and actually it will somehow be better”

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slaaaaay, Questing Queens! So, I was going to wait a little longer before posting the individual portraits of Twyla/Jujube, Troyann/Monet, Princess/Alaska, Gertrude/BobTDQ and Brennan, but after seeing all the lovely comments and tags on my previous post I figured why not! Besides, I didn't spend all that time drawing those heels not to show them off ;P (also, no one talk about how I couldn't figure out what to do about Brennan's legs, don't question it, don't think about it)

(also also, thank you to everyone who reblogged and left comments and fun tags on my previous dungeons and drag queens post. Everywhere else I posted that piece it got absolutely buried by the algorithm and I had assumed it was actually just a really bad bit of art, so seeing everyone saying they liked it really made my day :D ) @dimension20official

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I love Garak and Kira because their characters are like... Yeah, trauma doesn't make you a better person. Sometimes trauma just makes you a bitter, caustic individual filled with regret and self loathing. That doesn't make you any less worthy of care or healing or community. It's not the trauma that saves you, it's community and being given the love we were denied. Pain isn't virtue.

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It's it ok to rave about Heavenly Tyrant now? It's so good!! And it speaks great truths to power, like how slow pressure cookers are a miracle of modernity. It's everything you'd hope for after Iron Widow and then some more. The preface and the afterword say "kids, don't try this at home (not without chrysalis anyway)". The pacing steals my heart. The politics are glorious chaos, treated wisely. The escalation is fast and furious. The toxic triangle haunts my nights. I just hope to see fan fiction for a sequel where Murderbot comes to visit. Congratulations Xiran Jay Zhao!

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Inspired by this post, I wanted to fancast Iron Widow! I really liked these picks, especially Nini who would do a great job as Wu Zetian, but didn't want to just copy and paste.

Li Meng as Wu Zetian

She was a wonderfully cruel and charismatic villain in The Double and I would love to see her rage and passion in Wu Zetian's character.

Yu Shi as Li Shimin

Ok listen I think he's handsome, but also he could do it.

Tan Jian Ci as Gao Yizhi

For our wealthy scholar. His 2023 and 2024 characters were polar opposites characterization wise, and I'd love to see him continue to challenge himself with a unique character like Yizhi.

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TELL IT HOW IT IS GIRL 👏

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Expanse Text Posts 2/?

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Soren and Corvus are the golden retriever and black cat dynamic ascended to its purest form.