somatheking

[somatheking]

I'm sat.

SOMYAHHHHHHH!

SOMNAHHHHHHHH

[somatheking]

SOMYAHHHHHHH!

SOMNAHHHHHHHH

[somatheking]

He's so engrossed with typing up his patients' clinical histories, that Chishiya's comment almost passes him by. At first, it's nothing more than background noise, swallowed up by the amalgamate of sounds behind him; the beeping of machines, the footsteps of personnel, the humming chatter of the doctors and nurses, but when Soma realises what he's said, his vision turns black. 

You've been on the news lately.

Text from Mum: “Please call me. I’m worried about you.”

His fingers stop typing. 

"Attitude," says Soma, shrugging it off with a laugh. "Yeah, that'll get you far when you're in your residency years. Or maybe you won't have much of a problem, what with being the director's son and all. Must've been why you were late today."

But as much as he wants to act indifferent, there's a small, nagging part of his brain that doesn't let him, that makes him turn his chair around to look at Chishiya properly. There's nothing aside from his hair that sticks out too much; he doesn't have any distinctive scar, or tattoo, or piercing, and it's hard to say anything about his fashion style while he's wearing the same scrubs as all the people down at the ER are. However, not having any particular characteristic might be one of its own, and the more he looks at the student, the more he thinks he's hit the mark. 

He knows the kind of student that only comes to their hospital practices because they're forced to. They do the minimum amount of hours required to, barely ask questions, they don't complain but don't have any drive to watch this surgery or attend to that patient… They're simply there. And Chishiya, arriving late and sweet talking the head of service before giving lip to the doctor in charge of him, was simply there. 

"Alright," says Soma, with a sigh. "You don't look the least bit interested in being here, or learning what we do at the ER, so have at it. Say whatever you wanna say to me, because I figure an actual face-to-face talk is going to make you learn more than anything we'll see this morning." 

"But, I still have a job to do, so we'll have to multitask," he adds, standing up and heading for Box 10. Coincidentally, it's the patient in a coma, which ensures they'll be able to talk freely during his check up, though that won't be true for all of them. "And do refrain from saying anything particularly nefarious about your views of medicine in front of patients that are struggling for their lives under our custody. They’re scared and anxious, and even though you don’t look like you care, I do."

@cheshire-shuntaro

Text from Mum: “Please call me. I’m worried about you.”

Soma looks at his phone, his thumbs poised above the screen, hesitating for a second before turning it off and putting it away. The text weighs heavy in his pocket. Please call me. 

It takes him a minute to compose himself and exit the bathroom to join the swarm of white lab coats that are making their way into the ER, exchanging a few greeting nods with colleages and a wave at Hiroko, a third year residency doctor who he’d been thinking of asking out for a few weeks, and would’ve probably done so already if not for the incident. She might’ve even said yes, but as it is, a relationship that once had been sharing a coffee when one of them couldn’t get their own, moving heaven and earth so their lunch breaks would align, and a kiss under the bluish light of the surgery room, is reduced to a wave and a polite smile before Hiroko leaves. No words exchanged.

It doesn’t bother him and he doesn’t care because he has a job to do, and that’s all that matters. Everything else is secondary. He’s still got a job, and about ten medical histories to check before he starts seeing patients, and—  

“Dr. Kawamura,” a stern voice calls behind him. He doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is, but he has to, because as much as he wishes he could escape the attending physician, there’s no avoiding him now. 

“Dr. Takahashi,” he starts, as he turns to look at him, already bracing himself for when he finds thick greyish eyebrows furrowed in displeasure and eyes staring at him with an intensity that betrays what he actually thinks of Soma, but professionalism forbids him to say out loud. “Is there something—?”

He abruptly stops speaking when he realises Dr. Takahashi isn’t alone. 

“This is Chishiya Shuntaro, medical student. You’ll be in charge of him for the day.”

@cheshire-shuntaro

[somatheking]

Don't worry, Keiichi, you haven't gotten old! You were still incredibly old last year!

Well, I sure have gotten old.

- K.

[somatheking]

I've got nothing to say other than that's us.

🎃

Gomez and Morticia. There's no other option for them.

[somatheking]

The kiss was over so quickly that Soma felt her lips on his own when they were no longer there and Junko had already disappeared into her room. He was left dazed, not even knowing what to do with himself afterwards, half-leaning against the wall and half-stumbling to stand up straight, caught between two worlds, this or that, accepting that the kiss had happened or pushing it away.

He wanted to plot and calculate, like he did with everything that escaped his control, but his mind was racing in a way that was unfamiliar and unhelpful; not with a thousand different schemes or with a backup plan for the backup plan, but with one simple thought: she kissed me. The world collapsed around him and rebuilt itself to make space for those three words in his life: she kissed me, and four more that followed: I like her. And in that moment, he was reminded of a phrase he read in the letters of two lovers that were never meant to be:

I like you. I’m scared to say the stronger word. 

🎲

if you hear me panting it's not because I sprinted to ask, it's just that I'm really tired today

Sure, that's the only reason..

~~~~~

The pair had been on a handful of dates already, each one just as romantic and intelligent as the last. However, Junko began to get slightly frustrated that soma has yet to even try to make a move. After their last date, after soma had walked her back to her room, she grabbed his arm half swinging and half pushing him against the hall wall. She stood on her tippy toes, pressing her lips to his for a few moments before she had realized what she had just done. She broke away from him and quickly retreated to her room, slamming the door behind her.

(I swear I didn't mean to make it so long!)

[somatheking]

Day 7: Slate 7 - 21/09/2023

Hello, Hinata! Don't you recognise me? It's your dear friend Soma! Or, well, a robot version of him. But, same difference, right? I’m still kind of the same person, at least according to Hatter.

We were friends, you and me, right? Yeah, I know. And by that, I mean that I only know. I don't remember, not like you do. If we ever went for ice cream, if we ever watched a movie together… that's all gone. I'm just aware that we were friends, because that's all Hatter knows too. He couldn't make a robot with all the memories of Soma the Human, if he wasn't part of said memories. You get me?

I think that's also the same reason why most of my personality revolves around me being a doctor. That's what Hatter remembers about me. I was a doctor. Kuina got to remember she had a traumatic past with her father and how as a transgender woman she had to navigate through life and she eventually reconnected with her martial artist self… and I got to be a doctor. 

But I could have it worse. I've also noticed I have this little habit where I try to trick others, so maybe Hatter thought I was mischievous and added that to the mix. And I seem pretty chipper too, so Soma the Human must've been a happy dude. It could be worse. Arisu and Usagi have each other as their entire personality, since Hatter probably only knew that they were a couple and that's it. 

Back to you, though. I've been trying to wrack my brains over what a "friendship" means. I know I care about the rest of the people in the crew, because I have to, I work with them, I live with them. But would I be able to form a connection with someone with whom there's no purpose for me to form a connection with? Someone unrelated to the ship? Someone… like you? 

I guess this was my own little experiment to determine whether I could care about someone, in a way that didn’t benefit neither me nor the functioning of the ship. I think the basic instinct you might have when caring about someone, is to try and protect them. You wouldn't want a friend to suffer, would you? 

Well, I needed to lure you in here first. And the only way I thought to do so was by creating a vacancy. And it just so happens, I worked as a comms officer! So all I needed was to malfunction enough for Hatter to retire me, and look for someone to hire. There were more chances of him searching for you to rehire you, but hey, you can't cross out that possibility, hence why in the first tape I mentioned 'if it's someone new…' I didn't know! But then, I saw you.

Yeah, I saw you. I'm still here. Got Kuina to smash both my legs and arms so I couldn't move, and I'm all cooped up in a room watching you from the cameras. These tapes? Recorded live! I recorded one each day, made Arisu hand them over to you. I couldn't exactly work here with you, could I? First, because I needed to create the vacancy, and then, because the point of this experiment is to try and see if I could care about someone I have no purpose caring about. 

So I watched you. All day, every day for a week. Trying to spot something that would make me realise that, yes, we are friends, and that it meant something. That I was able to go beyond what I was programmed to do. 

But, well. The experiment failed. I could've stopped sending you tapes. Could've just warned you about the madness that is this ship and told you to run away. Told you everything from day 1, or maybe day 2, or even 3. But I am sorry to say I don't hold the slightest bit of empathy for you. Hence why I waited seven days; the precise amount necessary to get away from the Milky Way and into the territory of deserted planets, with no way of escaping back to civilization. 

A robot cannot harm a human, it's the first law of robotics. But I'm not harming you by giving you these tapes. You would've suffered a similar fate even if I hadn't given them to you. In fact, if anything, these tapes help you by making you more cognizant of your situation, which is that you've no way of going back home now. You're stuck in a ship full of robots, with no one to share your human passions, your human feelings. Well, Hatter’s gotta be somewhere, I guess. And even though you already know he’s a mass-murdering lunatic, that probably gives you more comfort than being with the rest of us. 

I could've helped you. Could've told you everything from the start and told you to run, because you're my friend, and I care about you. Or just because you're a fellow person and I'm helping you because I have empathy. But I don't.  I’ve tried, and I can’t care about you. Do you like hearing that? I'm admitting humans can do things robots can't. You win. You're better. Rejoice in it.

Celebratory drinks at 8 in the main hall!

Seven Nights At Soma's

In which in a sci-fi AU, you're the new communications officer at the Beach, one of Hatter's luxury space cruises. As part of your training, every day you receive tapes from an old employee explaining the ins and outs of the ship. However, it's not long until things start to sound... off.

Disclaimer: I mention several canon AiB characters in this, but rest assured that they aren't based on anyone's portrayal of them, only on my own interpretation.

Day 1: Slate 1 - 15/09/2023

Good morning! Or good evening, or good night. I’m not sure when you’re hearing this tape but I hope you decided to listen to it first thing after you woke up, mainly because it’s gonna help you get through the day. 

First off, let me give you the obligatory greeting (I’m reading this from a card I’ve got right here, so don’t mind me if I sound too weird): 

Welcome to the Beach! Combining classic elegance and cutting-edge innovation, our space cruises offer the latest in comfort, gastronomy, innovation, entertainment and onboard experience. Our new and improved spaceships are also pushing the boundaries of sustainable tourism, by employing robotic assistants as personnel so as to focus on environmental well-being and minimising waste… 

Sorry, sorry, I had to cut that short because I’m starting to laugh. Assistants, more like ASS-istants, am I right? Haha, yeah, it’s a funny word.

Anyways, yeah, I’m supposed to give you a rundown on your new job, although it isn’t precisely new, is it? Hatter told me he was thinking of filling the vacancy with someone who already worked here, but since I’m the vacancy, I’m not sure whether he ended up doing that or he simply hired someone new. Still, I figured you’d need some help, so I made you these tapes. Seven, one per day, which would cover the amount of time we need to get out of the Milky Way and into another galaxy, and after that you’ll literally be on your own. Well, I’ve only just recorded the one, so maybe I’m here saying it’s gonna be seven but it ends up being three, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see! Man, I’m more excited about this than you probably are, haha. 

As I told you before, I’m the guy you’re replacing. I was actually the ship doctor, but the previous communications officer left, so I had to replace him. Doing both jobs and only getting paid for one, which is pretty rough, but hey, we gotta do what we gotta do. You know how in the Barbie movie, Ken’s job was ‘beach’? Well, mine is doctor and comms officer, haha. I was actually friends with the guy that left, and I imagine I must’ve spent so much time hanging out with him that Hatter thought some knowledge passed on to me. I have to say, this ship mostly runs itself, so I didn’t have much trouble. And you won’t either!

Anyways, yeah, let’s talk about the elephant in the room and get it over with. You’re on a cruise where the vast majority of personnel are robots. It’s more efficient that way; as I said in the presentation, ‘environmental well-being and minimising waste’. There’s so many I’m not even sure I know all their names, but to be honest, they’re not gonna bother you much. So, how about instead we run over some of the people you’ll be working with?

First off, since you’re a comms officer, you’ll sadly have to keep in touch with Chishiya, who’s in charge of logistics. He’s, excuse my French, a huge ass bitch. Yeah, that’ll make more sense when you meet him, but mark my words, you’re gonna hate the guy. I did, so it makes sense that you will too. I don’t wanna keep talking about him, so let’s move on.

Oh, these aren't employees but I figure you could say hello to them since they're pretty nice. Arisu and Usagi are this couple who've been together for what seems like forever and they're so cute. You can feel the love radiating from them, it's like they were made for each other. They are so, so sweet; talking to them always brightened up my day. Sometimes I got claustrophobic here, and when that happened I usually went to them to cheer up. They… I don't know, this might sound stupid, but they reminded me that there's more things to life other than a job. 

You also have Kuina, who is an absolute sweetheart. She’s head of security, but she’s always super willing to help out if you need anything and she isn’t busy. Fortunately for her, this is a pretty tranquil ship; problems rarely arise here, at least the violent types. There hasn’t been any fights breaking out in… months? Probably even longer, yeah. Between you and me, I think the passengers are scared of doing something illegal in the presence of robots. They think they’re gonna bug out or something and accidentally kill them. Boy, Five Nights At Freddy’s really did a number on you all, huh? But yeah, Kuina. She trains once every three days, which means you'll get to see her. I recommend you go talk to her, but be careful not to bother her while she's training! Talking to her impacted me a lot, made me consider a lot of things about my life, plus, she’s very welcoming and one of the best people here. A literal ray of sunshine. 

Oh, God, it sounds like I have a crush, doesn’t it? Haha, no, no, it’s not like that. Well… no, not really. Now you’ve got me flustered, though. I guess I’m ending the tape here, then. I’ll see you tomorrow!

[somatheking]

You know how there's a roman emperor, Caligula, who made a horse a senator? I've no doubt Hatter would make your dog an executive.

But what if I found a stray dog and wanted to bring them home to The Beach…?

-Kuina

[somatheking]

Don't let Hatter catch you saying that or it'll get to his head, and then we'll never hear the end of it. As for how I've been, well, it's been fairly quiet recently, so, surprisingly, I feel pretty restless. Could do with some enthusiasm around here.

YUKINA YOU'RE BACK

"You sound surprised, Soma. Regardless, yeah I am, is it bold to ask if you missed me or not?" ーユキナ // HIII SOMAAAA I MISSED YOOUU - MUN CHERRY

[somatheking]

I am, I thought people who managed to escape the Beach wouldn't precisely miss it and try to come back, but I'm glad I was wrong.

It's bold, but I'll answer all the same: I did miss you. Welcome back.

YUKINA YOU'RE BACK

"You sound surprised, Soma. Regardless, yeah I am, is it bold to ask if you missed me or not?" ーユキナ // HIII SOMAAAA I MISSED YOOUU - MUN CHERRY

[somatheking]

Day 6: Slate 6 - 20/09/2023

Hello! 

How’s your day been? Good, I hope. I can imagine that it can’t have been easy assimilating you’re a robot, but you’re not gonna have to worry about that anymore.

I lied! You’re not a robot! Congratulations or sorry that happened, I’m not sure how you’re taking this.  

Don’t be mad at me for tricking you, I just wanted you to experience a bit of what it is to think that. And hey, you got off easy, you only had to deal with it for a day; I was shocked for weeks after I found out. I'd never thought I'd be a robot. Me? But it's not possible! I have memories, I have feelings. Granted, I don't have the same memories you do, I don't remember "scenes" per se, just a series of words. I know I lived in an apartment for years, but I don't know what it looks like. I know I did many med exams, but I couldn't tell you a single question about any of them. I only know I did them. And I have to wonder if that's also how the feelings I experience work, because every time I think about exams I get nauseous. So, do I have the ability of actually feeling, or is it some sort of program that goes 'if: thinkaboutexams: feelbad'? Does it even matter, as long as I have these feelings? 

Well, if you ask me, I don’t think it’s as important to investigate where my ability to experience feelings comes from, rather, if it allows me to create new ones. That what humans pride themselves on; Darwin said ‘it is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change’. Well, robots can change and learn, that’s a given, but feelings? I know I care about the people in the ship, because I have to, but would I be able to develop feelings for someone there was no reason for me to care about, someone I didn’t work with? Even if it’s someone my human counterpart proved to have loved?

That’s where you came in.

Yes, I'm talking to you, Hinata.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Seven Nights At Soma's

In which in a sci-fi AU, you're the new communications officer at the Beach, one of Hatter's luxury space cruises. As part of your training, every day you receive tapes from an old employee explaining the ins and outs of the ship. However, it's not long until things start to sound... off.

Disclaimer: I mention several canon AiB characters in this, but rest assured that they aren't based on anyone's portrayal of them, only on my own interpretation.

Day 1: Slate 1 - 15/09/2023

Good morning! Or good evening, or good night. I’m not sure when you’re hearing this tape but I hope you decided to listen to it first thing after you woke up, mainly because it’s gonna help you get through the day. 

First off, let me give you the obligatory greeting (I’m reading this from a card I’ve got right here, so don’t mind me if I sound too weird): 

Welcome to the Beach! Combining classic elegance and cutting-edge innovation, our space cruises offer the latest in comfort, gastronomy, innovation, entertainment and onboard experience. Our new and improved spaceships are also pushing the boundaries of sustainable tourism, by employing robotic assistants as personnel so as to focus on environmental well-being and minimising waste… 

Sorry, sorry, I had to cut that short because I’m starting to laugh. Assistants, more like ASS-istants, am I right? Haha, yeah, it’s a funny word.

Anyways, yeah, I’m supposed to give you a rundown on your new job, although it isn’t precisely new, is it? Hatter told me he was thinking of filling the vacancy with someone who already worked here, but since I’m the vacancy, I’m not sure whether he ended up doing that or he simply hired someone new. Still, I figured you’d need some help, so I made you these tapes. Seven, one per day, which would cover the amount of time we need to get out of the Milky Way and into another galaxy, and after that you’ll literally be on your own. Well, I’ve only just recorded the one, so maybe I’m here saying it’s gonna be seven but it ends up being three, I don’t know. I guess we’ll see! Man, I’m more excited about this than you probably are, haha. 

As I told you before, I’m the guy you’re replacing. I was actually the ship doctor, but the previous communications officer left, so I had to replace him. Doing both jobs and only getting paid for one, which is pretty rough, but hey, we gotta do what we gotta do. You know how in the Barbie movie, Ken’s job was ‘beach’? Well, mine is doctor and comms officer, haha. I was actually friends with the guy that left, and I imagine I must’ve spent so much time hanging out with him that Hatter thought some knowledge passed on to me. I have to say, this ship mostly runs itself, so I didn’t have much trouble. And you won’t either!

Anyways, yeah, let’s talk about the elephant in the room and get it over with. You’re on a cruise where the vast majority of personnel are robots. It’s more efficient that way; as I said in the presentation, ‘environmental well-being and minimising waste’. There’s so many I’m not even sure I know all their names, but to be honest, they’re not gonna bother you much. So, how about instead we run over some of the people you’ll be working with?

First off, since you’re a comms officer, you’ll sadly have to keep in touch with Chishiya, who’s in charge of logistics. He’s, excuse my French, a huge ass bitch. Yeah, that’ll make more sense when you meet him, but mark my words, you’re gonna hate the guy. I did, so it makes sense that you will too. I don’t wanna keep talking about him, so let’s move on.

Oh, these aren't employees but I figure you could say hello to them since they're pretty nice. Arisu and Usagi are this couple who've been together for what seems like forever and they're so cute. You can feel the love radiating from them, it's like they were made for each other. They are so, so sweet; talking to them always brightened up my day. Sometimes I got claustrophobic here, and when that happened I usually went to them to cheer up. They… I don't know, this might sound stupid, but they reminded me that there's more things to life other than a job. 

You also have Kuina, who is an absolute sweetheart. She’s head of security, but she’s always super willing to help out if you need anything and she isn’t busy. Fortunately for her, this is a pretty tranquil ship; problems rarely arise here, at least the violent types. There hasn’t been any fights breaking out in… months? Probably even longer, yeah. Between you and me, I think the passengers are scared of doing something illegal in the presence of robots. They think they’re gonna bug out or something and accidentally kill them. Boy, Five Nights At Freddy’s really did a number on you all, huh? But yeah, Kuina. She trains once every three days, which means you'll get to see her. I recommend you go talk to her, but be careful not to bother her while she's training! Talking to her impacted me a lot, made me consider a lot of things about my life, plus, she’s very welcoming and one of the best people here. A literal ray of sunshine. 

Oh, God, it sounds like I have a crush, doesn’t it? Haha, no, no, it’s not like that. Well… no, not really. Now you’ve got me flustered, though. I guess I’m ending the tape here, then. I’ll see you tomorrow!

[somatheking]

yeah... i think you should date narumi just saying OKAY

Is this something you're saying, or an idea your friends planted in your head? Because you know I don't like you hanging with those friends, they're a bad influence on you.

[somatheking]

showcases our relationship perfectly

hinata pls people are dying could u maybe romance them later and help me bring hatter back to sanity now

Soma pls. Takeru’s fine. Right now. Probably. That’s gonna take awhile

You’re interrupting me and the vampire man. He’s telling me about his past. I’m going to fix him.

[somatheking]

this is actually me:

santa

[somatheking]

call me santa because I'm about to start dropping dead bodies down your chimney as a present.

deck the halls with the blood of innocents or however the song goes

hinata pls people are dying could u maybe romance them later and help me bring hatter back to sanity now

Soma pls. Takeru’s fine. Right now. Probably. That’s gonna take awhile

You’re interrupting me and the vampire man. He’s telling me about his past. I’m going to fix him.

[somatheking]

What gaslighting match Narumi? There was no gaslighting match, you're making things up as always.

what kind of relationship do we have, narumi?

You’re a very attractive smart man who’s also dangerous and we had a gaslighting match in your room last night that definitely could’ve ended in us making out or fucking…..i could’ve lost my you know what last night….100% holding back just in case you rejected me or killed me or some shit BUT Honestly i think we’d be a cute couple our current relationship is we’re both in denial about what we want so we gaslight plus i’m honestly surprised you haven’t started stalking me and find stuff about me yet.

😉

[somatheking]

Sakebi - Kiyoshi Kurosawa 2006