somecab-sysposting

[somecab-sysposting]

Vent Tw sh sui

Life kind of jsut super sucks atm . Idk if it’s even fixable like. I keep trying to fix everything, I keep thinking “if I do this it will all turn around!” But it doesn’t . Everything has been hurting lately and I’ve been almost constantly sad . It’s hard to find love, in general. Not even jsut romantic love. All love is hard for me to find. That isn’t to say it doesn’t exist?

I don’t know, I’ve felt kind of scared I will die. But I also don’t think I’d care all that much if I did. I think I’m more uncomfortable with the fact that people don’t see any point in preventing it. Which I guess on my part is attention-seeky. I’ve tried dying alone. I don’t just wait for somebody to stop me. I don’t just post and not do anything. I bleed for hours. I damage myself. I get so sad it literally makes me sick.

And all I could think afterwards is how attention seeky people must think I am. I can’t help feeling I deserve this. I deserve to die alone. I deserve to be alone. I don’t deserve help. I deserve to die, and let everybody else have peace with me being gone.

[somecab-sysposting]

Most discourse just seems to be argues on semantics to me 😭 nooo I use a different definition of that word you can’t use it to describe your experience using a different definition 😭 that’s a shopping cart not a trolley 😭 don’t say you rolled a trolley around the store when it’s clearly a shopping cart!!! Oh my god you evil evil being!!! If you wanna use a trolley go into the city and hop on!!!

[somecab-sysposting]

Tw suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, self harm

Vent

I don’t like calling my suicidal and self harm thoughts intrusive because sometimes I DO act on them, often out of impulse. Which I guess means they’re actually impulsive thoughts or whatever idk . I drive past the canyon and deny myself the ability to control my right arm to keep myself from impulsively turning the steering wheel towards it. I argue with myself over control of my right arm and throw a pair of scissors across the room while already bleeding. I only chicken out of hanging when I realize how uncomfortable the pressure in my head feels when the scarf presses against my neck and jaw. If I was braver I would be dead. It’s hard to view any thought of dying as intrusive when I’ve tried it before, and taken steps toward it. I don’t know. I wish the curtain on my window covered the entire thing.

[somecab-sysposting]

At the time I figured I seemed normal and I didn’t really realize I acted weird when I was a kid. But looking back, maybe getting frequently sent to the counselors office for having meltdowns, and counselors calling home, and kids eventually sayings “she’s just like that” when I cried- maybe that wasn’t quite normal and maybe my parents were the only ones who didn’t do anything. Like I can’t even look back and say “nobody tried to help me” because chances are that teachers thought calling my parents would help somehow. But it didn’t, I’d just get in trouble and threatened for crying. SIGH! I don’t know. Everything feels normal when you’re a kid!! I didn’t know people were wrong for making fun of me, I didn’t understand how nobody else cried, and I didn’t understand why I did. I just knew that if my parents found out about it I’d get in trouble!

I don’t know. I think living a life where I’m villainized for uncontrollable meltdowns has DESTROYED my self esteem. Luckily I don’t get them as frequently but they’ve been a lot more private and self-destructive which isn’t very fun.

[somecab-sysposting]

Join us…. We have… nevermind

[somecab-sysposting]

Two object fictives adopt the aardvark into their QPR. Why? Why not

[somecab-sysposting]

Does anybody want me to self harm for you. I will hurt myself and send you a picture for five dollars

[somecab-sysposting]

My soul is rotten. I am supposed to be dead.

/☂️

[somecab-sysposting]

Day 66

Binary text - Am I Alive?

[somecab-sysposting]

Answering all of these here because we don’t have many mutuals

🍓no

🍒hmmmmmmmm. I wanna say Another Believer, but I’m not sure

🍊I dint know, tbh we mainly are only individual appearance-wise internally .. but due to most of us having nonhuman appearances we don’t really have clothes styles

🥭Jiffy. 100% jiffy.

🍍Probably either Jiffy or Margo. Or Kcarson when he isn’t dormant.

🍋we don’t align with any specific religion but some of us have a tendency to pray at times. Not as much as in the past

🍏well. Either ze/zer+zem, beep/beeps, clank/clanks, meow/meows, or. tock/tocks

🥝 maybe One ? Not sure.

🍇 Clank is good at drawing in few layers. Metal is especially good at rendering when he does it. Margo is better with proportions. Thanks ms subsys 🙏

🫐 object oc fictives. Big sigh.

❤️ I don’t think hates ? But we do have varying levels of “like” to things.

🧡no but we do sometimes get gifts for each other outside of holidays

💛right now.. tired. But mainly because I’m tired rn

💚don’t spend all your time trying to prove to yourself why you’re faking. Try proving to yourself why you aren’t. Be honest with yourself, look at experiences objectively. Be kind to yourself, you are learning, and there is no guide to having mental illness.

💙I’m definitely biased, but aardvark. Of course, if we were to choose a thing overall to represent us, it would be a clock. That’s not an animal though

💜no

System Ask Game

You All Seemed To Enjoy Our Last Ask Game,So Here's Another One! Feel Free To Ask Us These Questions As Well!

🍓 - Do You Have Any Headmates That Speak A Langauge Other Than What The Body Would Normally Speak?

🍒 - If Your System Had A Theme Song,What Would It Be?

🍊 - Is There Anyone In Your System That Has A Wildly Different Clothing Preference Than Everyone Else?

🥭 - Who Is The Worst With Money?

🍍 - Who In Your System Is The Most Chaotic?

🍋 - Does Anyone Is Your System Practice A Religion Different From Others In The System?

🍏 - What Is The Most Unique Pronoun Set Someone In Your System Uses?

🥝 - Who In Your System Has A Flair For The Dramatic?

🍇 - Is There Anyone In Your System Who Is Particularly Skilled In Something Others Are Not?

🫐 - Is There Any Type Of Headmate That Your System Is Particularly Heavy On? (Introjects,Non-human,Etc)

❤️ - Does Anyone In Your System Have An Interest Or Favorite Thing That Everyone Else Hates?

🧡 - Does Your System Celebrate Holidays Amongst Yourselves? (Buying Eachother Gifts For Christmas,Etc)

💛 - If You Had To Describe Your System In One Word,What Would It Be?

💚 - What Is One Piece Of Advice You Would Give To Someone Just Discovering Their System?

💙 - If You Were To Choose An Animal To Represent Your System,What Would It Be?

💜 - Are You Open About Being A System Outside Of Online Spaces?

[somecab-sysposting]

Don’t tell them I’m a homophobic character drawn by a homophobic man… don’t tell them… I’m agender.. and apparently I’m also homophobic.. and I’m also.. an aardvark..

[somecab-sysposting]

Aging is crazy because I made more edgy/inappropriate jokes and art at 14/15 than I ever did any other time . Like what the eff was going on (my theory is ppl kept sending me stuff like that and I wanted to fit in, but I digress. Still weirds me out) (<-most ppl didn’t send me said stuff out of malice btw. It kinda fucks me up and makes me anxious to think about tbh. ) (I was also just kind of stupid 😭)

[somecab-sysposting]

Answering all these

-something cabinet. Twas a joke

-multiple alarm clocks and metal straws.does this count

-hard to say.. we have a guy named jiffy. zigs. clank. Maybe one of those idk. rhino. Most of us are non binary.

-not that I know of 🤷

-either jiffy or margo. I think.

-not rlly

-either jiffy or one of the persecutors.

-we don’t keep careful track of roles so idk

-I don’t think so? But we do have varying interest in interests ?

-idk 🤷🤷🤷

-not including OCs.. damn that’s most of us.. uhm idk tbh. In sound mind.. Cerebus the aardvark.. Carl webcomic??

-oldest in discovery or age???? We don’t rlly have set ages but the first discovered was Kcarson and the most recent discovered was Orion.

-not sure. We tend to argue abt whether or not we’ve ran somebody over sometimes

-I don’t keep track 💔 margo has said some things thoufh. Also Kcarson. They are both menaces in the sense that they will just say things nobody wants to hear

-idk

-idk

-probably whatever happened with kcarson or thunder but it rlly wasn’t that strange so idk.

-jiffy will buy random shit sometimes ig. Those flavored milk straws.. an old lps zebra stuffed animal ? And many many commissions of our characters. Many.

System Ask Game

🌕 - If Your System Has A Name, What Is The Story Behind It?

🌔 - Do you Have Any Nonhuman Or Human Adjacent Headmates? Any That Are A Unique/Non-Typical Species?

🌓 - What Is The Most Unique Name A Headmate In Your System Has?

🌑- Does Anyone In Your System Have Food Preferences That Differ Greatly From Others In Your System?

⭐️ - Who Is The Most Social?

💫 - Does Anyone Celebrate A Birthday Different From The Body's Birthday?

✨️ - Who Is The "Problem Child" Of Your System? (Not Necessarily In A Negative Way)

🔭 - Anyone With A "Non-Typical" Role?

🚀 - Are There Any Headmates With Wildly Differing Interests From The Rest Of The System?

☄️ - Do You Have Any Alt Headmates? (Emo,Goth,Etc)

🌍 - Do You Have Any Introjects From Obscure Sources? (Not Including Oc-tives)

🪐 - What Is The Age Of Your Oldest Headmate? The Youngest?

🌙 - What Is The Most Ridiculous Thing Your System Has Argued Over?

👽 - The Strangest,Most Off Putting,Or Silliest Thing A Headmate Has Said?

🌌 - Is There A Headmate Who Likes To Play Pranks On The Rest Of The System?

🌠 - Who Is The Most Noticeable When Fronting?

🛰 - What Is The Strangest Way You've Discovered A Headmate?

🌝 - What Is The Strangest Purchase Someone In The System Has Made?

[somecab-sysposting]

Trying to Get It On but then I get overstimulated by dogs barking and then somebody is outside my door and then I’m getting text messages from family so I can not longer Focus

[somecab-sysposting]

My period is late… which is DUMB because I’ve been aching and having gi issues and sleeping poorly and everything but the blood is not there … no blood….. so I’m just wearing a pad for no reason like a loser

[somecab-sysposting]

We made a personal system blog!!

We wanted some way to express ourselves and i(?) got the idea to make a website for our system to use!! It took me ages to set up what’s there so far but so far me and zigs have our sections good to go! We might change and add more to them in the future when we learn more about HTML and CSS but in the meantime we have our simple templates =]

I think websites are so so fun and I like how customizable they can be!! Since we don’t have many friends we can be ourselves around (at least not without fear…) this might be a good way to let us be ourselves without feeling like a bother to everybody 😭

If anybody wants to check it out you can! It’s still a WIP but I’m pretty optimistic about it!!

Please keep in mind this isn’t an informational website! It’s a personal one! Also not reccomended for a portrait screen !

[somecab-sysposting]

Any systems/plurals/whatevers who don’t care about syscourse or validity arguments want to be mutuals. crying begging on my knees I did not get traumatized and split alters to become part of the argue about everything community 😭 I don’t have the mental capacity or sanity or energy to argue validity about anything I just want mutuals 😭 everything feels like ragebait please I was not born to rage I was born to live laugh love.

I like cartoons and minecraft . I make art. Any systems who like cartoons and minecraft and make art

-idk