somethingpoeticaboutfalling

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

Weirdly religious undertones? In MY kin experience? It’s more likely than you think.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

Okay so I’ve literally seen five unexpected five-pointed stars in the past two days. I’m getting a very strong sense that this is supposed to be a message of some sort, but I’m not sure what it means or who it’s from. Google hasn’t been super helpful obviously since there’s like a million meanings that go with the shape, but the best I’ve come across so far is that occasionally it’s connected to the goddess Ishtar (who I have a little bit of history with), but she usually uses the 8-point star. However, she’s also associated with the planet Venus, which makes a five-point star orbit when viewed from the earth? Idk maybe that’s a stretch. There’s also the connection to Lucifer, the ‘morning star’, that might have something to do with my demon kintype, but the morning star is technically Venus, which circles back.

Any ideas? I’m really kinda lost here 😅

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

The vampire-hearted yearning is back. I haven’t even interacted with any vampire media recently so I’m not sure what triggered it, but I’m yearning again nonetheless.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

Do people “roleplay” as their kintypes? Like is that something people actually do? Maybe I’m just older than most active ‘kins (and not as online) but surely that must be something people do. If it is, somebody point me in the right direction please. I need to talk to people as my past self, not as my current self who used to be my past self.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

Fun fact, but back when the tma finale was originally released I was defending Jonah and saying that he actually won because he got exactly what he wanted. Just because he gave up his autonomy to get his reward doesn’t mean he lost entirely. If I were him I would have been happy in my role as the Pupil of the Eye.

Fast forward to now and I realize that I was defending him like I knew what he was going through because I literally do. I was him. I am him. And I was happy in the apocalypse.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

Kinning a character that people are horny for is fun because the majority of art of me is sexy and that’s good for my ego <3

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

eldritch/horror alterhuman moodboard because DYSPHORIA ACK

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

It’s weird how religious Christmas music always seems to trigger kin feelings for me. Like especially the older hymns like ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’ or ‘O Come, O Come, Emanuel’ that have that very reverent tone to them. It’s weird because I’m a demon but they don’t give me the ick like most religious music. Instead they seem to get me more in tune with the religious side of my kin. I’m not even a Christian demon as far as I know, or at least not in the traditional sense, but I was raised Christian in this life so maybe that’s where it comes from. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because this is the time of year when I first realized I was a demon. I don’t identify as a Christian anymore - I don’t believe most of the metaphysics of the religion - but part of me still loves the calm and serene feeling that comes with the religious part of Christmas. It’s almost like-

Okay wait I just had a realization as I was writing this. I bet it has to do with the fact that I was technically an angel before becoming a demon. I always forget that. It makes sense though because Christmas kind of reminds people of where it all started for Christianity. The birth of Jesus kind of kicked it all off for the religion, symbolically at least, so I’m probably feeling that sense of remembering my origins after forgetting for so long. Christmas is what Christians ‘should’ be doing all year long: being kind and loving their neighbors and such, but most of the year people seem to forget that. I know it’s not the same, but most of the year I tend to forget the deeply spiritual aspect of my kin experiences and Christmastime always seems to remind me of that.

Maybe I’m just drawing parallels where they don’t exist, but it makes sense to me. I just wanted to share my experience.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

new tag game: use predictive text to see why you are your theriotype/kintype. start with "i'm [x] because"

i'll go first

i'm a dog because i have to fight

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

I’ve probably mentioned this before, but does it mean anything about me that all of my kintypes could very easily be construed as evil?

Demon: stereotypically evil.

Eldritch horror: at least viewed as neutral if not evil.

Jonah Magnus: literally the main villain in the story who intentionally caused the apocalypse.

OC: kills for fun and feeds off people’s fear and trauma???

None of these seem to really care for human lives… The last two at least had people I cared about, but the first two don’t really come with memories of other people. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything at all but maybe I should do some more introspection. I don’t feel evil in this life but I’m so strongly drawn to the concept. Maybe this is why I study philosophy.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

It’s ’missing my boyfriend’ hours right now

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Achievement unlocked: kin your own oc!

I just kinfirmed my oc and I genuinely don’t know how to feel about this. Their name is Michael and they’re a Spiral/Slaughter avatar from my TMA au that diverges from canon around season 4. So now I have two TMA kintypes I guess. 🤷🏼

Side note: all my ‘types are generally viewed as at least mildly evil? (Demon, eldritch monstrosity, villain of the canon story, and now a literal monster that kills for fun) Does that mean anything about me now? Probably not, but it sure is interesting to think about…

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

I miss him I miss him I miss him I miss him I mi-

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Does anybody know of any 18+ kin servers on discord? I really want to join a more active community but I don’t feel comfortable as an adult interacting with minors in that way. Not to say I won’t interact with minors if you have questions or anything, I just struggle to relate because we are in such different life stages. I want more kin friends my age 🥺

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

I wish to crack my skull open

I wish to crack my skull open. I wish I could spoon brain matter out and portion it into little containers, a little blob for each day of the week of the month, of the rest of my life, like in a pill box. So I could see how many days I have left. So I don’t have to be so afraid every morning.

I wish I’d live by the sea. If I could listen to the waves, if I could hear seagles scream, if I could smell the salty air, if I could feel the cold drizzle on my skin, then I’m pretty sure, I’m pretty sure I’d never drink again. I’d never smoke again. I’d never hide. I’d be out in the open, licking the sea off my lips, hugging the sharp rocks of the coast, cutting my knees on their edges. And my blood’s iron would have the same taste as the water, and I’d be alive again, I’d be alive.

I wish to get lost somewhere. I wish to be cold when the night comes, to be out running like a dog, to tear my clothes open on black branches and to see the sun disappear. I wish for a dying fire in freezing mist. I wish to lay down on a bed of dead leaves and shiver, reset my body and my system with a temperature shock. I wish to cry from it and feel weak. I wish for my heart to slow down to keep me warm.

I wish to run until I can’t breathe. I wish to feel my muscle twitch with pain. I wish to feel the adrenaline of being pursued by an unknown enemy. I wish to be an animal. To bare my teeth, tongues out, growling, to feel my stomach, to feel my lungs, to feel my jaw, to feel my

skull

crack

open.

If it means to be tortured then so be it.

If it means to be sliced open so be it.

If it means to die so be it.

If I can come alive again

in my most primal form.

[somethingpoeticaboutfalling]

So my irl friend who knows nothing about me being kin did a birth chart reading for me recently and they kind of confirmed my demon kintype without realizing. They mentioned that in a past life/lives I spent most of my life in service to others, often to my own detriment, and had no time for personal thoughts. Now, that may be just a generic reading about personal growth, but to me it seems to align exactly with my past life as a demon. I remember being a soldier, always in service to my higher-ups and never taking time for myself. It was only a tiny part of the reading, but it felt significant so I wanted to share.