someuffishthoughts-blog

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

This Ship is Sailing

The party has shoved off for wordpress where you can find me at http://someuffishthoughts.wordpress.com/.

Come on over to the dark side, younglings.  We have cookies.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

"I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun."

Katharine Hepburn

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

A Mono/dialogue

Lately I've been feeling just a tad lonely, what with not seeing any of my school friends, going into family reunion withdrawal, and living just short of an hour's drive away from most of the "homies" (ergo, I don't hang out with people very often).  Now, for me, loneliness has a few interesting side effects that are worth describing.

I often sleep in until noon.

I listen to indie rock alone in my room.

I do arts-and-crafts-related-stuff alone in my room.

I watch disgraceful amounts of Doctor Who alone in my room.

I play the ukulele alone in my room.

I make lots of cupcakes... :)

I go shopping, end up broke, and put together various outfits alone in my room.

I write blog posts alone in my room.

Noticing a trend?

Yep.  It looks like feeling lonely means that you do a lot of stuff alone.

Do you have a problem with that?

No, that stuff's awesome.

...

What?

Dang it, subconscious, why am I talking to you again?!

Wait, woah, hold that train a second.  Since when am I the subconscious?  How do you know you're not the subconscious?

Um, because I spoke first?

Are you kidding?  If I were the subconscious (which I'm not), I would talk first all the time.

If I'm the subconscious, then how come I'm the one who talks out loud?

Don't be ridiculous, we both talk out loud.

Well, maybe it's not a conscious/subconscious mind issue.  Maybe we're equal facets of the conscious mind that have somehow split and formed distinct personalities?

You mean, like dissociative identity disorder?

Yep, and you're like my evil twin or something.

I prefer to think of myself as your better, more attractive self.

Oh, come on, that's not even possible!

And why not?

Because we share a body.  And it may be one fine physique, but there's no way you somehow make it more attractive than I do.

Fine....your wild side, then?

Oh whatever, I don't care what you call yourself.

Really, 'cause...

NO NOT REALLY I LIED.

...dangit.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

I WANT MY FACE BACK!!

My face is home to many little red spots.  More little red spots, in fact, than have ever resided on my face at once.

So I started thinking.  What have I done to make my face react in this unpleasant way?  Of course the little red spots have been with me for a while, but the population density has grown dramatically over the past week.

A list of things typically blamed for the little red spots looks something like this:

poor skin care routine

oily hair

too little water

too much chocolate

too little sunlight

Do all of these things apply to me?

Yes.

Has that ever been different?

No.

SO WHY THE SUDDEN INCREASE IN LITTLE RED SPOTS?

I did succeed in nailing down a few things that had changed since I came home from school.  First, surprising though it may be, I was outside in the sun a lot more at school than I am at home.  Second, I did active things at school and sweating is really, really good for your pores.  Third, I was much more devoted to taking a daily vitamin C at school, because it's much more annoying to get sick when you're studying for tests and visiting with friends/ trying to get in those last goodbyes at the end of finals.  Not that that prevented me from coming down with a miserable cold during finals week, but a healthy boost to the immune system is usually welcomed by the face.

Fortunately, last week's family reunion in Georgia, which came along just after I started writing this post, gave me all of the things my face (and indeed the rest of me) had been missing: plenty of sunlit outdoorsy time, some much needed physical activity, and the motivation to take a vitamin C every morning.

Hopefully the rest of the Summer will be kind to my face.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

Parody is the art of being unoriginal on purpose and still making people laugh.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

Because some days you know you're gonna need to see that extra little bit of encouragement hanging on your wall to get out of bed.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

A slight realization that may or may not be of interest

There's something I've learned over the course of a semester writing fun little assignments for my 'Writing for the Media class'.  I was made for the internet.  That is, I'm pretty sure I was made for the internet...I would say the internet was made for me except that it was around slightly before I was...although, we both came along about the same time.  Wait, I have it...the internet and I were made for each other.  Of course, neither the internet nor I realized it at the time of our births, but over the past year, I have gradually come to realize just how well suited we are.  Not that the internet has realized this quite yet, but I have and that's the important part anyway.

The creative culture of the internet shares many stylistic values with me.  Brevity, wit, openness to trying new things, and of course a certain element of randomness are what the internet culture prizes.  People who look for good reading on the internet don't want articles and essays.  They want to feel connected, if only for a moment, to someone else's life.  The goal of my writing is to bring smiles to faces.  Whether it's a humorous anecdote or a parody, anything I write is short, sweet, and to the point.

Through the past semester I have discovered what I can and can't pull off in a piece I want to write.  I've learned to stay away from the somber and sentimental and embrace the lighthearted and ridiculous.  A certain amount of ridiculousness is necessary for me to find creative satisfaction with my work.  

Lately, I've been growing more and more interested in pursuing a career with an advertising or branding agency.  I think I would thrive in an atmosphere of collaboration between designers and copywriters.  The need for conciseness and the ability to grab attention in a short-format writing application like copywriting as well as constantly working with others on many different projects is an appealing prospect.

But one thing at a time.  This Summer, I'm hoping to further develop my writing style by posting regularly here and sending fun, rambling emails to college friends (that's right, now you all can hold me to that).

Hopefully that gives you a look into the method behind the madness that is my brain.  Don't look for too long, you might get lost.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

It's the first multimedia project I ever made!  Many thanks to Greg for the contribution of time and willingness to be a guinea pig.

Music by Kevin MacLeod.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

An out-of-body observation of a moment in time (this is how finals leave my brain)

I walked into the room and there was Esther, staring glassy-eyed into the distance, a mug of tea in her hands.  She did not move as I entered.  I couldn't tell whether it was because she was listening intently to the late-Romantic music wafting over the room from her desk or because she was transfixed by whatever it was she saw out the window.  With Esther's attention faculties it certainly couldn't be both.

I followed her gaze outside and saw two young men haphazardly perched on a loosely strung tightrope, a frizbee flying between them.  If one happened to fall, so did the other; one could not be left standing alone.  Perhaps it broke their shared concentration.

When I found what I had been looking for, I turned to leave the room, taking another glance in Esther's direction.  I saw a quote printed on the mug in her hands,

"be the change you wish to see in the world... - gandhi"

just like that, all in lower-case with an ellipsis trailing off toward the handle.

I left.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

Here's another one!

It took 1.5 hours at the computer help desk, but we finally figured out how to convert those pesky zip files into youtube-compatible video files.

Making friends, one IT guy at a time.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

So...this is one of my favorite projects from my digital storytelling class.  

You would not believe how awkward it is to walk around taking pictures of books in a library.  It's like I need a disclaimer on my back that says something like, "Don't worry, I'm a comm major."

...maybe then they'd understand.

And with that, I'm officially using my youtube channel.  Yay!

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

At Least You Know Your Roommate Doesn't Stalk You When...

My roommate and I had this conversation just now:

Kate: Do you have an 11:30 class?

Me: Nope

Kate: Do you have any classes?

Me: Yeah...

Kate: When's your first one?

Me: 2:30

Kate: Is this every Tuesday/Thursday?

Me: Yep.

Kate: woooooaah...

That's right, it took  her the whole semester to figure that out.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

This is just too wonderful not to share.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

Hello Ladies...

It seems I've found my calling writing parodies of popular commercials...oh, well.  Here's a radio spot that really ought to exist:

Hello ladies.

Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me.

Sadly, you can’t see me because I’m on the radio.

But if you stopped buying expensive ladies’ body wash and switched to Old Spice for ladies, you could save enough money to hop a flight to the island resort where you’ll find me rescuing dolphins and small whales, you’re welcome.

That’s right, ladies.  I really am talking to you instead of trying to make your significant other subconsciously jealous of my superior masculinity.  You have been overlooked too long while I made your man a better one.

But now, something just for you.

Imagine you’re in a tropical paradise, sipping an icy cool beverage and watching native artisans at work while I sing an original song written especially for you.  Now imagine what that would smell like.

Old Spice for ladies – because what you could smell like is just as important to you as what your man could smell like.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

Dr. Jewell Controls the Weather!

Here's a humorous press release I wrote for a class last week, complete with fabricated scenario and actual student quotes.  Looks like a case of epic homework strikes the blogosphere again.    

Grove City College Strategic Weather Report: “Not Really Surprised”

Grove City, PA – After a two-week-long stretch of unusually warm weather, President of Grove City College, Dr. Richard Jewell, has revealed to students and faculty that he does, in fact, control the weather.  The recent balmy temperatures were due to the weather machine, located in Rockwell Hall, being in disrepair.  The machine is up and running again, sustaining the usual gray-cloud force field, which provides students with substantial reason to stay indoors and focus on the rigorous academics offered by the college.

Several students reported being surprised by Dr. Jewell’s announcement.  “I’m appalled. Utterly flabbergasted,” said freshman class president, Chesterton Cobb, “Doesn’t he know how much depression is caused by the gloomy days?”  Sophomore, Zoe Simek was also shocked by the news, “Why would he want to make us all unhappy! I have low blood pressure…I can’t take the cold weather! I just changed my wardrobe to Spring, and then its 32 degrees again! Come on Dr. Jewell! You’re throwing my fashion all outta whack!”

However, the majority of the student population found the news less shocking, “I’m not really surprised,” said sophomore, Elizabeth Early, echoing the reactions of many other students.  Sophomore Chadwyck Cobb feels the weather machine should be put to different use, “We have always suspected that Dr. Jewell had such power.  I just wish that he used his powers to promote having extravagant amounts of fun rather than keeping us inside studying.”

The continued use of the weather machine to promote good student behaviors is currently undecided.  Dr. Jewell addressed the issue in a recent faculty meeting: “Now that the students have a reason for the cold weather, they may not be as easily influenced by it.”  The weather machine is set to continue operating for a trial period.  The duration of the trial period is yet to be determined by Dr. Jewell.

Founded in 1876, Grove City College is a truly independent private Christian college offering undergraduate degrees in liberal arts, sciences, engineering and music, with 55 majors and six pre-professional programs.  Grove City College is located about 60 miles north of Pittsburgh in scenic Grove City, Pennsylvania.

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

iSneaks

One of my favorite recent brainchildren, this is a commercial I wrote for my Writing for the Media class this week.  The assignment was to split into groups based on Meyers-Briggs personality types and come up with a product to market to our own psychographic.  My group, NT's and SP's because I was the only NT in the class, decided (after a while - none of us were decision makers) to do a commercial for Apple brand footwear, iSneaks.  As the person with the grand idea in-head (which never happens, but hey, I was with a bunch of SP's), I became the official writer and this is what happened:

iSneaks, Nike, and Chuck stand facing the camera.  Nike’s in athletic clothing, jogging in place.  Chuck’s in hipster/prepster-wear, looking all cooler-than-thou.  iSneaks is just a regular gal (with natural fashion sense, of course).

  iSneaks:  Hi, I’m an iSneak.

Nike:  I’m a Nike.

Chuck:  And I’m a Chuck.

iSneaks:  Hey, Nike, what’s up?

Nike:  (focused on the jogging) Oh, the usual.  Going for a run, burning lots of calories, being active, winning at life.

Chuck:  (affected yawn) Running bores me.

iSneaks:  Yeah?

Chuck:  It’s just so aimless, ya know?

(awkward pause while iSneaks raises eyebrows and waits for a little more explanation, which doesn’t come)

Chuck:  No, I guess you wouldn’t know.

iSneaks:  Hey, why don’t we all go to the Downtown cafe?  It’s this sweet little place not too far from here.  They make excellent paninis.

Nike:  No, you wouldn’t want to take me into a café with you.  I’m not classy enough for that place.  Besides, I can’t quit now, I’m just starting to get a good workout.  (leans in to audibly whisper) and I’m kinda smelly right now too. 

iSneaks:  Oh, I’m sorry about that, Nike.  Yeah, my breathable canvas exterior molds to any feet, while keeping them fresh and dry, so I don’t have to worry about the smell.

Nike:  Have fun though, you’re looking great.

iSneaks:  Thanks, Nike.  I think the streamlined shape really pays off.  Have a good run.

(Nike smiles, nods, and runs off-screen)

iSneaks:  How about it, Chuck?  Paninis?

Chuck:  Peter piper piffed a phepp uv phiffled pheffrs.

iSneaks:  Excuse me?

Chuck:  Sorry, my tongue just got twisted.

iSneaks:  Uh…okay…I don’t usually have that problem….Do you remember how to get to the café?

Chuck:  I’m pretty sure it’s North-East of us.  Wait, I learned how to do this in boy scouts.  (pulls out compass and holds it up to look at it – not proper compass using technique)

iSneaks:  Or we could just ask Siri.

Chuck:  Who?

iSneaks:  Siri, what’s the quickest way to the Café downtown?

Siri:  (from off-screen) I found this for you.  Downtown Café, walk one block to your right and turn left on Jackson Street.

Chuck:  (looks incredulously at iSneaks) Wow.

iSneaks:  She’s the best.

  iSneaks

with Siri

[someuffishthoughts-blog]

It is unclear what should be done with the promiscuous aesthetic experiences of individuals who, due to a temporarily or permanently ecstatic state of mind, find beauty everywhere.

From "The Aesthetics of Everyday Life", a book I'm perusing while writing a paper on the same theme.  You do run across a gem every once-in-awhile through the researching process.