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[sosuigeneris]

DESI GIRLS: BEWARE OF MEN!!!!

this is a story for all the south Asian girlies who live in South Asia. I have not one but two horror stories to tell you.

I was at my cousin’s reception tonight. I met some of my cousins, a couple of who I see more frequently and a few who I see once in a blue moon. And I met a cousin who I hadn’t seen in years.

This particular cousin of mine, let’s call her Anne, had gotten married during the pandemic. She’s pretty, tall, slender, dresses well, smart, and all that. The guy was okok but seemed like a decent guy regardless. She got engaged to the guy THREE DAYS after they met and was convinced that he was the one and all that. Now, I don’t really meet her very often but I follow her on instagram and I remember seeing her pictures and stories with her husband. She always looked very happy and he seemed like a good guy with a great job.

I met her today after three years. And learned through Cousin Kelly that she had gotten divorced.

the reason?

Husband Dearest was asexual. And did not convey this to her. Three years of a sexless marriage!! Three years!!

And what’s strange is that Kelly, who is also divorced - separated for the EXACT same reason. This cousin had gotten married right after high school so her ex-husband was the first man she had ever dated and got married to. That guy was asexual too! And guess who long that marriage lasted? 27 YEARS!!

She was a virgin against her will up until her late 40s. She didn’t experience her first organism until she was 47 or 48. She eventually left him and is single today. He didn’t want the divorce, and begged her not to leave him. He said that he would be more than happy to “let” her be with other men sexually as long as they didn’t get divorced. My cousin said hell naw bitch and left.

I always hated her husband because he looked like a sly fox to me. I found him rather cunning and ugly, he gave me pimp vibes from the start and I blocked him on WhatsApp and instagram at least 5 years before they got married. I would avoid him at every single family event. I also hate his name, his eyes, his greasy smile, his pot belly, his entire existence.

3 years?? 27 years?? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with these men not disclosing their sexual orientations to the women they are literally getting legally bonded to? I can’t imagine dating someone and going even a week without sex. It’s still understandable if the sex life faded but to be 20+ years in and the sex life didn’t even start - that’s bonkers. Also, getting engaged to someone three days after meeting them in this day and age is psychotic. That sort of arranged marriage scene was very common back in my parents’ days - but even my parents dated for 3 months before getting married.

Desi girls, beware. These men seem to be either rampant cheaters or go completely cold turkey. And do not get engaged if you haven’t dated him for at least 7 months to a year. 7 months is still too short, I personally feel that 2 years of dating and then marriage is the best combination of time and effort.

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

i started watching lovely runner. And. I’m. So obsessed with the ML!!!!

i have a list on my notes app called Build My Man 2024. And after watching this dude … you can best believe that the list has been updated with at least 3 new points.

the ML is so sweet, loving not to mention attractive as hell. He’s such a dreamy dreamy boy. Daddy, I want that man !

As I updated the list, I realised how many compromises I had made on my standards. Making compromises on my standards is the sole reason why I got into this mess with my to-be-ex. As I looked at the list I wondered, why am I so afraid of having higher standards? So what if the dating pool becomes smaller and smaller? Isn’t that the point - to narrow down to one man who is 100% my match?

when I had initially made the list, I tried to not be superficial with it. I wanted to be open minded etc etc but that’s just getting me nowhere but in trouble. So I’m back to adding a couple of superficial points to the list.

if I can take of my appearance - if I can meet the conventional beauty standards, be a good partner etc etc SO CAN HE !!!

So, with a renewed focus, I began updating it. And I took my task very seriously. I changed the height from 5’10 to 6’0 because I DO want a tall man. Height has never been an issue for me but this is MY list and no one else has access to it anyway so I can manifest the boy I want. I want to someone who is both attractive to me and smart. Boys can have it their way with the boobs and butt but I can’t have a tall man??? Screw that. I want my man to tower over me. I don’t want to deal with a crazy MIL, I want a man who is at least 5 years older, I want him to be decisive assertive, disciplined, is romantic and shows it, wealthier than my family, social extrovert, hands bigger than mine, masculine etc etc.

And after I made that list, I made a list of the qualities / things I should work on myself in order to be at the level of this type of a man. I can only attract what I project. And truth be told, I do have some things I can improve on.

I’ve decided that at least for 2 years - until the desperation and fomo of being single kicks in - I’m going to be hard on my boundaries. If after 2 years I still can’t find someone who meets all these qualities, I’m ready to revise them. Until then, these are absolutely set in stone. I REFUSE to entertain dogs!

I know I don’t have too much time to prep myself. I’m expecting my parents and grandparents to start introducing me to boys by the end of this year and I have to be absolutely unfuckwithable by then. Thus commences my 8 month glow up plan.

this includes:

Expanding on my knowledge because I think I can be smarter

improve my communication and small talk skills

lose the fatty fat fat

buy a whole new wardrobe

create a very strong sense of identity. Weak men can smell weak women and lack of identity. Having a strong identity will attract the right men. I’ve noticed that every time I’ve been strong; laid boundaries, been a hard ass - the guy in question chases me more. It’s almost like men really do enjoy the chase. And to continue the chase you need a LIFE - you need friends, hobbies, a career that makes a man want and crave your time and realise that you’re not going to bend over backwards to cater to his every whim and fancy.

practice celibacy

make a solid dating boundaries plan - like no sex before 6 months, when I can start being vulnerable etc etc - and actually stick by it

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

I have a shoot scheduled for next week. I need new pictures for events, press releases, LinkedIn etc and I decided to finally get them done. There’s this photographer who I like to work with, and she had taken pictures of me like 3 years ago but I’ve grown so much since - my hair, make up, everything has changed - and so I decided to reach out to her again for new pictures.

This time, I decided that I would get slightly different professional photos. One theme will be like the typical western style, with blazers and corporate wear and the other will be Indian traditional. I’m really excited for the Indian traditional because I have such a good vision for this - I want the photos to scream royalty, and I’ve planned to wear my mum’s sari and jewellery and take it on a very antique looking arm chair. There’s an Indian actress - I forget her name - and I came across her traditionally styled pictures on Pinterest and absolutely fell in love. She looks gorgeous and powerful and feminine, everything I want to exude.

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

I finished reading Sei Shonagon’s The Pillow Book for the second time. It’s such a pleasure to read books like that. Sei is a lady-in-waiting for a Japanese Empress way back in 970 AD something and the writing is brilliant. She gossips, she speaks of her lovers, she writes her poetry, fun incidents and shows a little bit of what it was like in the royal Japanese courts. I find her so entertaining and it’s amazing how certain things she writes hold true even today. She can be a bit of an elitist bitch but I don’t care for that.

What I found most fascinating was how she would describe nature and events like parades or pilgrimages or holy festivals. The attention to details - the colours of the clothes, the way the sky looked, how the fields appeared, the atmosphere, how the ordinary people looked like to her - it made me feel that all I do is stay busy on my phone and laptop. Reading her book made me feel how out of touch I am with nature. When was the last time I really observed the sunset? When was the last time I took a walk in a garden? I can’t even recall when I last used my hands to do something other than type and eat. I’m now determined to use my phone less and notice my surroundings more. I want to die on my deathbed remembering the beauty of the world, not my social media feed.

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

Mini life updates:

I’ve lost 1 inch since I began the lipo-B12 saline 3 weeks ago

I began using a new product to encourage new hair growth - it’s like this foam thing but it’s super greasy ugh

I began doing J*hn Bent*n’s (censored so that it doesn’t pop up in search) model workouts. He’s an asshole so I didn’t purchase his program (he did some Bad Things and now his wife took over his modelling fitness program company and has been promoting it under the guise of it being “Women-owned”). I found a link on Reddit with a file that has 5 of his workouts. He does have good workouts and they give good results but I ain’t putting a cent in his wallet.

I might adopt a Persian kitty idk

I finished my fittings for the custom piecesss

im yet to break up with my boyfriend 😭

I honestly should just do it. It’s been like a month and half that I’ve been wanting to end things. But the timing is terrible or something or the other pops up and it’s just plain annoying. I have ceased most communication with him and some days, I forget about him completely. I know it sounds horrible of me and I agree that it is but I’m so over this. He went on a boys trip with his cousin and some friends over the weekend and I didn’t want to ruin it for him so I decided to delay by another weekend. So now the coming weekend is the absolute deadline I’m giving myself. It’s sad because he’s a genuinely good guy but my infatuation has faded and the distance doesn’t help. And he doesn’t match my main criteria anymore for a partner. It’s only been like 3-4 months of us seeing each other so it’s not like he’s going to weep buckets over me, but I feel so small and awkward ending things. If he was a terrible personality I would’ve taken great relish in ending things but his overall niceness makes this much harder than it ought to be.

It’s best for both of us to part but he’s one of the “I’m bob the builder I wanna fix this !” types. Isn’t it the worst when the wrong person has the “let’s fix it” mentality?

I’ve bought new books to encourage me to break up and celebrate the aftermath. I’m only going to allow myself to devour them once I follow through with my plans.

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

Do you have any budget recommendations for high protein meals?

I’m sorry, I don’t understand this question

[sosuigeneris]

What are your favorite blogs?

@the-joy-of-knowledge I love the content

@thefemalejokerblog for the vibes

@leiko-in-love for the make up tips and cat stories (I want a cat so bad but I travel too much)

@csuitebitches for the life tips

@horribledrawingsofmylife the art 🤌🏽

@iscelestial arttttt

@bbltheque for the affirmations

[sosuigeneris]

Socialite Series: how to not over share

“But how do I not overshare?”

it’s so simple. It’s honestly so simple. Take 45 minutes of your time and just sit and solve this Surface-Vulnerabilities list I’ve made for you.

choose a few typical themes: family, friends, school, line of work, recent holidays, dating scene, hobbies, likes and dislikes, recent experiences, movies, events etc.

imagine you’ve met someone new. Your ideal conversation with them falls under “surface.” This is your basic small talk. You can talk to anyone about this. Let’s say you meet someone called Beatrice. Now, she’s a nice girl but you don’t know that she’s a loudmouth. You told her everything from your surface list and she goes and barks it to someone else. Does it affect you? No. Does it ruin your reputation? No. The surface category is barely 5% of the real you. It doesn’t matter if Beatrice tells the whole world because:

a) nothing vulnerable was said

b) you’ve put your best foot forward

C) by telling everyone this, she’s actually advertising you in the best way

now consider your absolute closest friend. That conversation falls under “vulnerabilities.” These are things you would never tell anyone or maybe just your best friend, these are your worst times, your worst moments. This will never leave your mouth and should not be told to anyone.

[sosuigeneris]

The best wood therapy resource is this chick on instagram. I follow her stuff RELIGIOUSLY.

[sosuigeneris]

Thoughts on social media for leveling up?

Keep your posts limited.

Never post in real time.

No politics, opinions, break up stories, breaking down.

Show exactly what you want to attract. Show experiences more than products. The opposite comes across as nouveau riche.

Be politically neutral.

Follow interesting, artistic accounts.

Do a “following” refresh every month. Remove the people you don’t fuck with.

[sosuigeneris]

I’ve had the craziest week at work. Yesterday, I forgot that it was Friday and that I could finally have some time to myself. To celebrate, I put on a face mask, a foot mask, hand masks (Inisfree makes nice ones), turned Netflix on, and just. Laid on my bed like a ragdoll.

I was meant to have my fitting tomorrow but my designer is out of town for some last minute thing. That actually works by me because I do want to lose a couple of inches before I go to her.

I had my second iv drip session today. I did some low intensity cardio for 30 minutes in the morning, had my protein shake. I’m going to work some more today. I’ve decided to dedicate my weekends to learning something new, so I’ll continue with this one economics online course I’m doing right now.

[sosuigeneris]

Could you please quit labeling posts that are random ass shits with tags like hyperfeminine and female manipulator? You seem stupid. doing random crap for a few followers 🤢

.

[sosuigeneris]

I have my fitting scheduled for next month. I’m getting three pieces custom made - two dresses and a co-ord set. I have to attend a private gala in Denmark in a few months and I want to ensure that I look my best. I do want to lose a few inches before I head in for the fitting so I’m going to wait till April end. I’m hoping that the lipo-B12 shots + weight lifting + wood therapy + intermittent fasting works.

[sosuigeneris]

I need to get into reading more fiction again. I’ve been only reading business books for my career but I desperately need some food for my soul.

I quite enjoy magic realism. Murakami’s work is fascinating to me, I can read his books in one sitting. In a weird way, books like that almost validate my weird thoughts and I feel a lot less alone in the world.

-cherry 🍒

[sosuigeneris]

I went for my lipo-B12 drip today.

It was painless, I was done in 35-40 minutes, I did some work and took a work call, it was absolutely seamless. The doc has advised me to stop my 16-8 intermittent fasting. Instead, I need to focus more on cardio (10,000 steps daily), have a protein shake right after to prevent muscle burn instead of fat burn. For lunch and dinner I can’t eat rice, only a salad, flatbread from specific grains and vegetables (I don’t eat meat). 4L of water everyday. No sugar. I can have my black coffee in the afternoon. Fruits can’t be eaten alone (apparently it causes a sugar spike and crash) so they have to be eaten after a meal like lunch or dinner. I have to be in a calorie deficit for 6 weeks, which is how long my treatment will last, and I’ll go in for my iv drips every week.

I’m really looking forward to the end results and I’m going to stick to this. Ive told him that I want my body fat to be 18-19%, he said 20-22% for my age is better and for the next 10 years. I was a little annoyed because I remember being 21% and still not having my dream body. But he’s the doc, he’s the professional so I’ll listen to him and see how this goes 🤷‍♀️

The pricing of this is super decent as well. My entire treatment costs $300. When I had scheduled a cool sculpt consultation, they had given me a price of around $3000. This iv thing seems much more reasonable.

-Cherry🍒

[sosuigeneris]

I like how golfing and classical music and theatre is not on that list

That screams wannabe rich

[sosuigeneris]

For someone who is trying to be more cultured (for hypergamy) which topics would you recommend for self education?

Pop culture like the latest/ iconic shows and movies, architecture and design and famous architects, travel destinations, literature and poetry, sustainability is a huge topic within my circles, self help and psychology and productivity, music, start ups, AI, religion