spring002

[spring002]

4EVER

iii. under my skin 🎧 contains ooc characters, asshole scaramouche is the theme here, mentions of stalking, misunderstanding, switching povs, minor character death (offscreen) | w.c. 1.4k additional note imagine waiting 2 whole months to update a series... couldn't be me!

scaramouche smirked, it was nice to see her take it down a notch. watching her brows twitch and her teeth clenching down on her tongue to fight back or to say more. though, he could cut her some slack, her acting is pretty good. it’s almost like she didn’t know him..

as if!

people always pretend. that's their whole schmick. what a terrible groupie. 

it was satisfying watching her facade crumble as she rolled her eyes, her foot tapping on the porch. her voice cracked, “are you serious? i don’t even have any cameras on me and why would i film you? i literally do not know you!”

“yeah, right. how else would you know–!” scaramouche’s rebuttal was rudely interrupted when auntie nahida walked in, pulling him back by his shoulder. his body jerked, stumbling as his eyes narrowed.

the girl seemed to stifle a laugh.

stupid ass groupie, stupid aunt, stupid– 

auntie stepped before the both of them, separating them. from what it seems, she’s doing this to protect the girl rather than him, that’s interesting. something with his family and protecting the wrong people. “now, that’s enough, kunikuzushi. i told you that someone would tour you around, didn’t i?” 

his fists clenched, scaramouche pursed his lips into a thin line. he bit his tongue, what does he say in this situation? his aunt caught him being an ass, but she never said the guide would be a girl. doesn’t she know that he has an ongoing issue with those kinds of people? he shoved his fists into his jacket's pockets, walking a step forward, “i’m not as lonely as you think, auntie.” 

but it’s not like he has friends, maybe childe, but don’t tell him that. that ginger birdbrain's ego is already big. he noticed she stepped closer, the beach-fontaine girl. he took a half step back. 

auntie continued, scolding him like he was just a kid. he’s not five so she can spare him the lecture. if the note from his so-called mother was supposedly true:

kunizukushi, you will understand why i sent you to fontaine when you’re older or when you are more mature. be good. - mom mother

how come this “break” is reminding him of home? if he came here just to get lectured, he wouldve ditched the shitty airplane and stayed home for the rest of the summer. half of auntie’s lecture was muffled out, “...understand your situation with your mother…” 

as if. 

“...not an opening to throw an attitude… especially a person i asked to tour you to fontaine.” scaramouche scoffed. 

gosh, it’s sort of... awkward to see this unfold. well, name only had experienced a fair share of family fights. but in her defense, she saw them only through lyney and his family’s style. considering auntie and not the snezhevich family, it– for sure– is not a mutual destruction. she stood at the stairs, leaning on the railings and tried her best not to eavesdrop. 

it sucks that he’s such an asshole but looking at him now, his eyes seemed to droop down, averting his gaze to the floor. it’s like watching an owner chide their pitiful cat. she would feel so bad if he didn’t assume she was his fan.

idiot… who’s kind of cute if you squint. 

scaramouche scowled, crossing his arms, “i don’t need someone to tour me around. i’ve been here before.” he looked like an angry, little cat– hair sticking up and his back all hunched. she let out a small laugh, making scaramouche’s head snap in her direction.

oh shit. 

they made eye contact. she slapped her hands over her mouth. 

miss nahida’s eyes softened, lighting up. it was obvious that she was hiding a small laugh. it’s the fond, sweet voice nahida uses when she’s amused. “that’s when you were five, kuni.” 

okay, awkward for sure. maybe she should leave. 

ah, right, “kunikuzushi” even when he decided to make a new name for himself, abandon what his mother bestow upon him. it appeared that his mother didn’t give his aunt the heads up. hearing the name, every single syllable, felt strained, puncturing a million needles into his skin.

nothing wrong with the name, nothing wrong with auntie calling him by his family nickname, “kuni” but the memories of his mother abandoning him for mikoto left a sour taste on his tongue.

auntie snapped him out of his trance, their conversation now becoming clearer. “scaramouche, are you okay?” he felt at ease for a moment, making eye contact briefly with nahida. she continued, “okay, good. But you are aware that you were last here when you were five. it's been over ten years, and things have changed.”

scaramouche replied with a disgruntled hum. was auntie completely and absolutely right? yes. unfortunately, she was. would he admit that he was at fault? hell no!

leaning onto the railing, he stayed put with his firm albeit stubborn behavior. crossing his arms, being passive aggressive as possible, “i think i could handle seeing this city by myself, auntie. i’m not a little kid.” 

the words rolled off his tongue uncomfortably. it was a tad more condescending than intended, feeling the bitter taste in his gums, each word dragged out sharply. he grimaced, i could have worded it better. well, not that it matters, what is said is done. 

thankfully, auntie nahida is on the lenient side as she chuckled lightly. it must have been a good laugh considering how her hand rested on her stomach to keep herself from hunching over. “i never insinuate that you are. i know you’re not the same little boy i once knew, growing up and learning how to adult…” scaramouche bit his tongue from wincing–

the phrase “to adult” or “adulting” is sickening. dancing and frolicking around just to say grow up or learning to become an adult in a terrible way.

“isn’t that why you’re rebelling against your mother, aren’t you?” 

auntie guided him down the stairs where the girl– “name” – was at. he’d deal with her later. it felt like he was still getting treated like a child, each step was cementing the idea that this is truly a walk of shame. truthfully, he knew she didn’t mean to sound harsh, auntie nahida was always a soft spoken lady just with blunt edges. “i know your mother very well and i’m aware that she could be a little bit… much. but i know whatever she has told you in the arguments the two of you would have aren’t true. well, you know, your mother hasn’t been the same since…” 

scaramouche stiffened, knowing why his once gentle, loving though stoic mother he knew was replaced within a day. she became a husk of herself, a distant figure that speaks to him when there’s an obligation not a mother-like need. her walls of ice hardly melting down only fitting two in her heart, leaving him alone; abandoning him to fit mikoto. even though his mother is the ceo of shogun corporations, she wasn’t the sole owner, it was also his aunt– his mother’s one and only blood relation, her twin sister. aunt makoto was the face of the company whilst his mother worked in the shadows, completing tasks makoto was unable to. so when she died, so did his mother. 

“...when aunt makoto died.” he finished her sentence, noticing from the corner of his eye, she flinched a little. scaramouche refused to use an euphemism to avoid the truth, turning to a web of lies to conceal something that actually happened is worse than not telling the truth at all. 

she agreed, nodding her head, “yes, exactly. i’m not sure why your mother wanted to send you off here–” what a lie. “– but it’s summer, scaramouche.” she shook his shoulders, making him feel like a ragdoll. “have some fun, make new friends and ignore your responsibilities, it’s not like you have any obligations while you’re here.” nahida assured him, attempting to coax her teenage nephew.  

she’s inviting him to slack off? what a huge joke. if his mother wanted him to slack off, she would send him to a military school and hope he comes back “normal”. but scaramouche picked up from nahida’s reassuring tone, a hint of hesitation. she knew that he knows that she’s lying about the reason why he’s here. 

he turned to her, narrowing his eyes. he attempted to analyze her face for any tells that scaramouche could pry out to aim for why she’s lying. alas, much to his disappointment, there was none. well, at least none he could find on the very first day. if scaramouche remembered what his mother told him the day before, one of his so-called duties, which Aunt Nahida insisted on ignoring, was to assist her with whatever she needed. 

speaking of that girl, he looked around. the front yard was empty. well, no one but him and nahida was there.

weird. 

“so that girl wasn’t a stalker?” scaramouche blurted his thoughts out loud, his eyes focused on where she stood. at least, she looked somewhat decent. nahida noticed his gaze, eventually turning back to the front door, letting out a laugh. “no, not at all. she’s a local who i asked to help you out.” 

oh.

so, she wasn’t lying. 

at the shore [closed] :: @sketcheeee @bittersweetmiko @usagiarchive @syunifu @lalalaloveallmydays @zenless-sys @raytoebiter @wateredfay @pinxeajin @yomishen @mello-bee @kunikuzushis-darling @adres-tia @aaudreys @catyrv @sesamemin @scaraenthusiast1 @bubblebellaz @mywillt0live @itsjustmillie

[spring002]

now playing. . . didn't wanna do it by cass elliot 🎧 <- fun fact! i looped this while writing

he doesn’t understand it. scaramouche found himself awake, indigo eyes staring blankly at his popcorn ceiling. the silence was overbearing to ignore. he was biting his tongue, it’s pathetic really. he kept finding himself having dreams of you. it’s odd. admittedly, they’d never start the same way either. he can’t call it a recurring nightmare, more like distorted fragments of his memories broken and scattered in a dream-like state. similar to those dumb tiktoks, “oh no, my avocado somehow fell into my taba squishy”, but instead, it’s “oh no, my stupid, dumb, infuriating situationship is falling into my dreams.” 

the dream was escaping him now like a lit incense, the aroma lingering but the steam dissipating in the air. he tried to grasp the air as if he could pull it back to try to remember you in his dreams. you were the same, maybe, a little grown now. no longer as a naive mortal like you were before. 

he stifles a laugh when he realizes what he was doing. noticing how he’s mimicking a child, pulling over his blankets over his head, as if it would shield him from his underlying thoughts– his subconscious telling him something he can’t bear to understand nor accept. he doesn’t want this stupid dream to haunt him like a ghost inhibiting a house. he doesn’t want to have any moral ties to someone, pulling his guilt him like a ball to shackle. 

a voice whispers, “why? why would this happen?” 

tsk. 

after all, he was the one who initiated it– ending what was needed for the world. he was the one who snipped the bud when it was going to bloom. it’s what he needed. the voice nagged him, again, now louder. it was harder to ignore when it’s all he could focus on. it’s either that or you. 

“why?” 

why? … why did he end the relationship talkative and honest. something that was so raw and real. something he couldn’t physically handle because who would truly love him for him? frankly, you could’ve been a spy. someone hired by his enemies, which he has plenty. you were definitely one, tasked with the mission impossible: to rob him what he still has little, his humanity. his soul, his raw very being… in simpler terms, his heart. 

if he remembered the dreams, only bit by bit. he squinted at the ceiling, trying to remember the tender, softened look in your eyes that never changed. maybe you are just as bad as you are in real life. pitying him but he knew that wasn’t the case. maybe you were thinking of him the same way he is to you. 

why is the universe who knitted these dreams together, taunting him for what he can’t have?

[spring002]

4EVER

iii. under my skin 🎧 contains ooc characters, asshole scaramouche is the theme here, mentions of stalking, misunderstanding, switching povs, minor character death (offscreen) | w.c. 1.4k additional note imagine waiting 2 whole months to update a series... couldn't be me!

scaramouche smirked, it was nice to see her take it down a notch. watching her brows twitch and her teeth clenching down on her tongue to fight back or to say more. though, he could cut her some slack, her acting is pretty good. it’s almost like she didn’t know him..

as if!

people always pretend. that's their whole schmick. what a terrible groupie. 

it was satisfying watching her facade crumble as she rolled her eyes, her foot tapping on the porch. her voice cracked, “are you serious? i don’t even have any cameras on me and why would i film you? i literally do not know you!”

“yeah, right. how else would you know–!” scaramouche’s rebuttal was rudely interrupted when auntie nahida walked in, pulling him back by his shoulder. his body jerked, stumbling as his eyes narrowed.

the girl seemed to stifle a laugh.

stupid ass groupie, stupid aunt, stupid– 

auntie stepped before the both of them, separating them. from what it seems, she’s doing this to protect the girl rather than him, that’s interesting. something with his family and protecting the wrong people. “now, that’s enough, kunikuzushi. i told you that someone would tour you around, didn’t i?” 

his fists clenched, scaramouche pursed his lips into a thin line. he bit his tongue, what does he say in this situation? his aunt caught him being an ass, but she never said the guide would be a girl. doesn’t she know that he has an ongoing issue with those kinds of people? he shoved his fists into his jacket's pockets, walking a step forward, “i’m not as lonely as you think, auntie.” 

but it’s not like he has friends, maybe childe, but don’t tell him that. that ginger birdbrain's ego is already big. he noticed she stepped closer, the beach-fontaine girl. he took a half step back. 

auntie continued, scolding him like he was just a kid. he’s not five so she can spare him the lecture. if the note from his so-called mother was supposedly true:

kunizukushi, you will understand why i sent you to fontaine when you’re older or when you are more mature. be good. - mom mother

how come this “break” is reminding him of home? if he came here just to get lectured, he wouldve ditched the shitty airplane and stayed home for the rest of the summer. half of auntie’s lecture was muffled out, “...understand your situation with your mother…” 

as if. 

“...not an opening to throw an attitude… especially a person i asked to tour you to fontaine.” scaramouche scoffed. 

gosh, it’s sort of... awkward to see this unfold. well, name only had experienced a fair share of family fights. but in her defense, she saw them only through lyney and his family’s style. considering auntie and not the snezhevich family, it– for sure– is not a mutual destruction. she stood at the stairs, leaning on the railings and tried her best not to eavesdrop. 

it sucks that he’s such an asshole but looking at him now, his eyes seemed to droop down, averting his gaze to the floor. it’s like watching an owner chide their pitiful cat. she would feel so bad if he didn’t assume she was his fan.

idiot… who’s kind of cute if you squint. 

scaramouche scowled, crossing his arms, “i don’t need someone to tour me around. i’ve been here before.” he looked like an angry, little cat– hair sticking up and his back all hunched. she let out a small laugh, making scaramouche’s head snap in her direction.

oh shit. 

they made eye contact. she slapped her hands over her mouth. 

miss nahida’s eyes softened, lighting up. it was obvious that she was hiding a small laugh. it’s the fond, sweet voice nahida uses when she’s amused. “that’s when you were five, kuni.” 

okay, awkward for sure. maybe she should leave. 

ah, right, “kunikuzushi” even when he decided to make a new name for himself, abandon what his mother bestow upon him. it appeared that his mother didn’t give his aunt the heads up. hearing the name, every single syllable, felt strained, puncturing a million needles into his skin.

nothing wrong with the name, nothing wrong with auntie calling him by his family nickname, “kuni” but the memories of his mother abandoning him for mikoto left a sour taste on his tongue.

auntie snapped him out of his trance, their conversation now becoming clearer. “scaramouche, are you okay?” he felt at ease for a moment, making eye contact briefly with nahida. she continued, “okay, good. But you are aware that you were last here when you were five. it's been over ten years, and things have changed.”

scaramouche replied with a disgruntled hum. was auntie completely and absolutely right? yes. unfortunately, she was. would he admit that he was at fault? hell no!

leaning onto the railing, he stayed put with his firm albeit stubborn behavior. crossing his arms, being passive aggressive as possible, “i think i could handle seeing this city by myself, auntie. i’m not a little kid.” 

the words rolled off his tongue uncomfortably. it was a tad more condescending than intended, feeling the bitter taste in his gums, each word dragged out sharply. he grimaced, i could have worded it better. well, not that it matters, what is said is done. 

thankfully, auntie nahida is on the lenient side as she chuckled lightly. it must have been a good laugh considering how her hand rested on her stomach to keep herself from hunching over. “i never insinuate that you are. i know you’re not the same little boy i once knew, growing up and learning how to adult…” scaramouche bit his tongue from wincing–

the phrase “to adult” or “adulting” is sickening. dancing and frolicking around just to say grow up or learning to become an adult in a terrible way.

“isn’t that why you’re rebelling against your mother, aren’t you?” 

auntie guided him down the stairs where the girl– “name” – was at. he’d deal with her later. it felt like he was still getting treated like a child, each step was cementing the idea that this is truly a walk of shame. truthfully, he knew she didn’t mean to sound harsh, auntie nahida was always a soft spoken lady just with blunt edges. “i know your mother very well and i’m aware that she could be a little bit… much. but i know whatever she has told you in the arguments the two of you would have aren’t true. well, you know, your mother hasn’t been the same since…” 

scaramouche stiffened, knowing why his once gentle, loving though stoic mother he knew was replaced within a day. she became a husk of herself, a distant figure that speaks to him when there’s an obligation not a mother-like need. her walls of ice hardly melting down only fitting two in her heart, leaving him alone; abandoning him to fit mikoto. even though his mother is the ceo of shogun corporations, she wasn’t the sole owner, it was also his aunt– his mother’s one and only blood relation, her twin sister. aunt makoto was the face of the company whilst his mother worked in the shadows, completing tasks makoto was unable to. so when she died, so did his mother. 

“...when aunt makoto died.” he finished her sentence, noticing from the corner of his eye, she flinched a little. scaramouche refused to use an euphemism to avoid the truth, turning to a web of lies to conceal something that actually happened is worse than not telling the truth at all. 

she agreed, nodding her head, “yes, exactly. i’m not sure why your mother wanted to send you off here–” what a lie. “– but it’s summer, scaramouche.” she shook his shoulders, making him feel like a ragdoll. “have some fun, make new friends and ignore your responsibilities, it’s not like you have any obligations while you’re here.” nahida assured him, attempting to coax her teenage nephew.  

she’s inviting him to slack off? what a huge joke. if his mother wanted him to slack off, she would send him to a military school and hope he comes back “normal”. but scaramouche picked up from nahida’s reassuring tone, a hint of hesitation. she knew that he knows that she’s lying about the reason why he’s here. 

he turned to her, narrowing his eyes. he attempted to analyze her face for any tells that scaramouche could pry out to aim for why she’s lying. alas, much to his disappointment, there was none. well, at least none he could find on the very first day. if scaramouche remembered what his mother told him the day before, one of his so-called duties, which Aunt Nahida insisted on ignoring, was to assist her with whatever she needed. 

speaking of that girl, he looked around. the front yard was empty. well, no one but him and nahida was there.

weird. 

“so that girl wasn’t a stalker?” scaramouche blurted his thoughts out loud, his eyes focused on where she stood. at least, she looked somewhat decent. nahida noticed his gaze, eventually turning back to the front door, letting out a laugh. “no, not at all. she’s a local who i asked to help you out.” 

oh.

so, she wasn’t lying. 

at the shore [closed] :: @sketcheeee @bittersweetmiko @usagiarchive @syunifu @lalalaloveallmydays @zenless-sys @raytoebiter @wateredfay @pinxeajin @yomishen @mello-bee @kunikuzushis-darling @adres-tia @aaudreys @catyrv @sesamemin @scaraenthusiast1 @bubblebellaz @mywillt0live @itsjustmillie

[spring002]

[spring002]

4EVER

iii. under my skin 🎧 contains ooc characters, asshole scaramouche is the theme here, mentions of stalking, misunderstanding, switching povs, minor character death (offscreen) | w.c. 1.4k additional note imagine waiting 2 whole months to update a series... couldn't be me!

scaramouche smirked, it was nice to see her take it down a notch. watching her brows twitch and her teeth clenching down on her tongue to fight back or to say more. though, he could cut her some slack, her acting is pretty good. it’s almost like she didn’t know him..

as if!

people always pretend. that's their whole schmick. what a terrible groupie. 

it was satisfying watching her facade crumble as she rolled her eyes, her foot tapping on the porch. her voice cracked, “are you serious? i don’t even have any cameras on me and why would i film you? i literally do not know you!”

“yeah, right. how else would you know–!” scaramouche’s rebuttal was rudely interrupted when auntie nahida walked in, pulling him back by his shoulder. his body jerked, stumbling as his eyes narrowed.

the girl seemed to stifle a laugh.

stupid ass groupie, stupid aunt, stupid– 

auntie stepped before the both of them, separating them. from what it seems, she’s doing this to protect the girl rather than him, that’s interesting. something with his family and protecting the wrong people. “now, that’s enough, kunikuzushi. i told you that someone would tour you around, didn’t i?” 

his fists clenched, scaramouche pursed his lips into a thin line. he bit his tongue, what does he say in this situation? his aunt caught him being an ass, but she never said the guide would be a girl. doesn’t she know that he has an ongoing issue with those kinds of people? he shoved his fists into his jacket's pockets, walking a step forward, “i’m not as lonely as you think, auntie.” 

but it’s not like he has friends, maybe childe, but don’t tell him that. that ginger birdbrain's ego is already big. he noticed she stepped closer, the beach-fontaine girl. he took a half step back. 

auntie continued, scolding him like he was just a kid. he’s not five so she can spare him the lecture. if the note from his so-called mother was supposedly true:

kunizukushi, you will understand why i sent you to fontaine when you’re older or when you are more mature. be good. - mom mother

how come this “break” is reminding him of home? if he came here just to get lectured, he wouldve ditched the shitty airplane and stayed home for the rest of the summer. half of auntie’s lecture was muffled out, “...understand your situation with your mother…” 

as if. 

“...not an opening to throw an attitude… especially a person i asked to tour you to fontaine.” scaramouche scoffed. 

gosh, it’s sort of... awkward to see this unfold. well, name only had experienced a fair share of family fights. but in her defense, she saw them only through lyney and his family’s style. considering auntie and not the snezhevich family, it– for sure– is not a mutual destruction. she stood at the stairs, leaning on the railings and tried her best not to eavesdrop. 

it sucks that he’s such an asshole but looking at him now, his eyes seemed to droop down, averting his gaze to the floor. it’s like watching an owner chide their pitiful cat. she would feel so bad if he didn’t assume she was his fan.

idiot… who’s kind of cute if you squint. 

scaramouche scowled, crossing his arms, “i don’t need someone to tour me around. i’ve been here before.” he looked like an angry, little cat– hair sticking up and his back all hunched. she let out a small laugh, making scaramouche’s head snap in her direction.

oh shit. 

they made eye contact. she slapped her hands over her mouth. 

miss nahida’s eyes softened, lighting up. it was obvious that she was hiding a small laugh. it’s the fond, sweet voice nahida uses when she’s amused. “that’s when you were five, kuni.” 

okay, awkward for sure. maybe she should leave. 

ah, right, “kunikuzushi” even when he decided to make a new name for himself, abandon what his mother bestow upon him. it appeared that his mother didn’t give his aunt the heads up. hearing the name, every single syllable, felt strained, puncturing a million needles into his skin.

nothing wrong with the name, nothing wrong with auntie calling him by his family nickname, “kuni” but the memories of his mother abandoning him for mikoto left a sour taste on his tongue.

auntie snapped him out of his trance, their conversation now becoming clearer. “scaramouche, are you okay?” he felt at ease for a moment, making eye contact briefly with nahida. she continued, “okay, good. But you are aware that you were last here when you were five. it's been over ten years, and things have changed.”

scaramouche replied with a disgruntled hum. was auntie completely and absolutely right? yes. unfortunately, she was. would he admit that he was at fault? hell no!

leaning onto the railing, he stayed put with his firm albeit stubborn behavior. crossing his arms, being passive aggressive as possible, “i think i could handle seeing this city by myself, auntie. i’m not a little kid.” 

the words rolled off his tongue uncomfortably. it was a tad more condescending than intended, feeling the bitter taste in his gums, each word dragged out sharply. he grimaced, i could have worded it better. well, not that it matters, what is said is done. 

thankfully, auntie nahida is on the lenient side as she chuckled lightly. it must have been a good laugh considering how her hand rested on her stomach to keep herself from hunching over. “i never insinuate that you are. i know you’re not the same little boy i once knew, growing up and learning how to adult…” scaramouche bit his tongue from wincing–

the phrase “to adult” or “adulting” is sickening. dancing and frolicking around just to say grow up or learning to become an adult in a terrible way.

“isn’t that why you’re rebelling against your mother, aren’t you?” 

auntie guided him down the stairs where the girl– “name” – was at. he’d deal with her later. it felt like he was still getting treated like a child, each step was cementing the idea that this is truly a walk of shame. truthfully, he knew she didn’t mean to sound harsh, auntie nahida was always a soft spoken lady just with blunt edges. “i know your mother very well and i’m aware that she could be a little bit… much. but i know whatever she has told you in the arguments the two of you would have aren’t true. well, you know, your mother hasn’t been the same since…” 

scaramouche stiffened, knowing why his once gentle, loving though stoic mother he knew was replaced within a day. she became a husk of herself, a distant figure that speaks to him when there’s an obligation not a mother-like need. her walls of ice hardly melting down only fitting two in her heart, leaving him alone; abandoning him to fit mikoto. even though his mother is the ceo of shogun corporations, she wasn’t the sole owner, it was also his aunt– his mother’s one and only blood relation, her twin sister. aunt makoto was the face of the company whilst his mother worked in the shadows, completing tasks makoto was unable to. so when she died, so did his mother. 

“...when aunt makoto died.” he finished her sentence, noticing from the corner of his eye, she flinched a little. scaramouche refused to use an euphemism to avoid the truth, turning to a web of lies to conceal something that actually happened is worse than not telling the truth at all. 

she agreed, nodding her head, “yes, exactly. i’m not sure why your mother wanted to send you off here–” what a lie. “– but it’s summer, scaramouche.” she shook his shoulders, making him feel like a ragdoll. “have some fun, make new friends and ignore your responsibilities, it’s not like you have any obligations while you’re here.” nahida assured him, attempting to coax her teenage nephew.  

she’s inviting him to slack off? what a huge joke. if his mother wanted him to slack off, she would send him to a military school and hope he comes back “normal”. but scaramouche picked up from nahida’s reassuring tone, a hint of hesitation. she knew that he knows that she’s lying about the reason why he’s here. 

he turned to her, narrowing his eyes. he attempted to analyze her face for any tells that scaramouche could pry out to aim for why she’s lying. alas, much to his disappointment, there was none. well, at least none he could find on the very first day. if scaramouche remembered what his mother told him the day before, one of his so-called duties, which Aunt Nahida insisted on ignoring, was to assist her with whatever she needed. 

speaking of that girl, he looked around. the front yard was empty. well, no one but him and nahida was there.

weird. 

“so that girl wasn’t a stalker?” scaramouche blurted his thoughts out loud, his eyes focused on where she stood. at least, she looked somewhat decent. nahida noticed his gaze, eventually turning back to the front door, letting out a laugh. “no, not at all. she’s a local who i asked to help you out.” 

oh.

so, she wasn’t lying. 

at the shore [closed] :: @sketcheeee @bittersweetmiko @usagiarchive @syunifu @lalalaloveallmydays @zenless-sys @raytoebiter @wateredfay @pinxeajin @yomishen @mello-bee @kunikuzushis-darling @adres-tia @aaudreys @catyrv @sesamemin @scaraenthusiast1 @bubblebellaz @mywillt0live @itsjustmillie

[spring002]

I WROTE THE WRONG POV IN THE OTHER POV.... I MUST DIE

dont hate scaramouche hes literally so me. so what hes an asshole so what!! (´。＿。｀)

[spring002]

4EVER scaramouche x f!reader

summary when scaramouche was forced to go on a vacation to his auntie's summer house in fontaine, he meets a girl who might help him out.

aka. . . falling in love during the summer was not on your to-do list but was it worth the risk?

listed as a summer romance, hurt / no comfort, mild chatfic contains typical scaramouche, strong language, established situationship, teenage love, modern au, time-skip chapters, explicit language additional note this was from my prev. account but i'll be rewriting it & twilight to dawn is a moodboard btw. see updates on this tag

the record player . . . twilight 2 dawn

i. boys don't cry

ii. from the window

iii. under my skin

iv. to be added

extra: the sun shines among other stars & the total eclipse

at the shore [closed]: @sketcheeee @bittersweetmiko @usagiarchive @syunifu @lalalaloveallmydays @zenless-sys @raytoebiter @wateredfay @pinxeajin @yomishen @mello-bee @kunikuzushis-darling @adres-tia @aaudreys @catyrv @sesamemin @scaraenthusiast1 @bubblebellaz @mywillt0live @itsjustmillie

[spring002]

thank you for 10 followers

but seriously though thanks for enjoying my content despite me not able to write in forever... LOL lets hope i still unemployed until the next post l

[spring002]

“what’s you’re favorite horror movie??” the fox and the hound ☹️

[spring002]

now playing. . . didn't wanna do it by cass elliot 🎧 <- fun fact! i looped this while writing

he doesn’t understand it. scaramouche found himself awake, indigo eyes staring blankly at his popcorn ceiling. the silence was overbearing to ignore. he was biting his tongue, it’s pathetic really. he kept finding himself having dreams of you. it’s odd. admittedly, they’d never start the same way either. he can’t call it a recurring nightmare, more like distorted fragments of his memories broken and scattered in a dream-like state. similar to those dumb tiktoks, “oh no, my avocado somehow fell into my taba squishy”, but instead, it’s “oh no, my stupid, dumb, infuriating situationship is falling into my dreams.” 

the dream was escaping him now like a lit incense, the aroma lingering but the steam dissipating in the air. he tried to grasp the air as if he could pull it back to try to remember you in his dreams. you were the same, maybe, a little grown now. no longer as a naive mortal like you were before. 

he stifles a laugh when he realizes what he was doing. noticing how he’s mimicking a child, pulling over his blankets over his head, as if it would shield him from his underlying thoughts– his subconscious telling him something he can’t bear to understand nor accept. he doesn’t want this stupid dream to haunt him like a ghost inhibiting a house. he doesn’t want to have any moral ties to someone, pulling his guilt him like a ball to shackle. 

a voice whispers, “why? why would this happen?” 

tsk. 

after all, he was the one who initiated it– ending what was needed for the world. he was the one who snipped the bud when it was going to bloom. it’s what he needed. the voice nagged him, again, now louder. it was harder to ignore when it’s all he could focus on. it’s either that or you. 

“why?” 

why? … why did he end the relationship talkative and honest. something that was so raw and real. something he couldn’t physically handle because who would truly love him for him? frankly, you could’ve been a spy. someone hired by his enemies, which he has plenty. you were definitely one, tasked with the mission impossible: to rob him what he still has little, his humanity. his soul, his raw very being… in simpler terms, his heart. 

if he remembered the dreams, only bit by bit. he squinted at the ceiling, trying to remember the tender, softened look in your eyes that never changed. maybe you are just as bad as you are in real life. pitying him but he knew that wasn’t the case. maybe you were thinking of him the same way he is to you. 

why is the universe who knitted these dreams together, taunting him for what he can’t have?

[spring002]

now playing. . . didn't wanna do it by cass elliot 🎧 <- fun fact! i looped this while writing

he doesn’t understand it. scaramouche found himself awake, indigo eyes staring blankly at his popcorn ceiling. the silence was overbearing to ignore. he was biting his tongue, it’s pathetic really. he kept finding himself having dreams of you. it’s odd. admittedly, they’d never start the same way either. he can’t call it a recurring nightmare, more like distorted fragments of his memories broken and scattered in a dream-like state. similar to those dumb tiktoks, “oh no, my avocado somehow fell into my taba squishy”, but instead, it’s “oh no, my stupid, dumb, infuriating situationship is falling into my dreams.” 

the dream was escaping him now like a lit incense, the aroma lingering but the steam dissipating in the air. he tried to grasp the air as if he could pull it back to try to remember you in his dreams. you were the same, maybe, a little grown now. no longer as a naive mortal like you were before. 

he stifles a laugh when he realizes what he was doing. noticing how he’s mimicking a child, pulling over his blankets over his head, as if it would shield him from his underlying thoughts– his subconscious telling him something he can’t bear to understand nor accept. he doesn’t want this stupid dream to haunt him like a ghost inhibiting a house. he doesn’t want to have any moral ties to someone, pulling his guilt him like a ball to shackle. 

a voice whispers, “why? why would this happen?” 

tsk. 

after all, he was the one who initiated it– ending what was needed for the world. he was the one who snipped the bud when it was going to bloom. it’s what he needed. the voice nagged him, again, now louder. it was harder to ignore when it’s all he could focus on. it’s either that or you. 

“why?” 

why? … why did he end the relationship talkative and honest. something that was so raw and real. something he couldn’t physically handle because who would truly love him for him? frankly, you could’ve been a spy. someone hired by his enemies, which he has plenty. you were definitely one, tasked with the mission impossible: to rob him what he still has little, his humanity. his soul, his raw very being… in simpler terms, his heart. 

if he remembered the dreams, only bit by bit. he squinted at the ceiling, trying to remember the tender, softened look in your eyes that never changed. maybe you are just as bad as you are in real life. pitying him but he knew that wasn’t the case. maybe you were thinking of him the same way he is to you. 

why is the universe who knitted these dreams together, taunting him for what he can’t have?

[spring002]

HI VIDIA!!!!!

HAAII LINA (*^_^*)

so u have found my writing blog . . . (me acting like i didnt promo myself in the server)

[spring002]

now playing. . . didn't wanna do it by cass elliot 🎧 <- fun fact! i looped this while writing

he doesn’t understand it. scaramouche found himself awake, indigo eyes staring blankly at his popcorn ceiling. the silence was overbearing to ignore. he was biting his tongue, it’s pathetic really. he kept finding himself having dreams of you. it’s odd. admittedly, they’d never start the same way either. he can’t call it a recurring nightmare, more like distorted fragments of his memories broken and scattered in a dream-like state. similar to those dumb tiktoks, “oh no, my avocado somehow fell into my taba squishy”, but instead, it’s “oh no, my stupid, dumb, infuriating situationship is falling into my dreams.” 

the dream was escaping him now like a lit incense, the aroma lingering but the steam dissipating in the air. he tried to grasp the air as if he could pull it back to try to remember you in his dreams. you were the same, maybe, a little grown now. no longer as a naive mortal like you were before. 

he stifles a laugh when he realizes what he was doing. noticing how he’s mimicking a child, pulling over his blankets over his head, as if it would shield him from his underlying thoughts– his subconscious telling him something he can’t bear to understand nor accept. he doesn’t want this stupid dream to haunt him like a ghost inhibiting a house. he doesn’t want to have any moral ties to someone, pulling his guilt him like a ball to shackle. 

a voice whispers, “why? why would this happen?” 

tsk. 

after all, he was the one who initiated it– ending what was needed for the world. he was the one who snipped the bud when it was going to bloom. it’s what he needed. the voice nagged him, again, now louder. it was harder to ignore when it’s all he could focus on. it’s either that or you. 

“why?” 

why? … why did he end the relationship talkative and honest. something that was so raw and real. something he couldn’t physically handle because who would truly love him for him? frankly, you could’ve been a spy. someone hired by his enemies, which he has plenty. you were definitely one, tasked with the mission impossible: to rob him what he still has little, his humanity. his soul, his raw very being… in simpler terms, his heart. 

if he remembered the dreams, only bit by bit. he squinted at the ceiling, trying to remember the tender, softened look in your eyes that never changed. maybe you are just as bad as you are in real life. pitying him but he knew that wasn’t the case. maybe you were thinking of him the same way he is to you. 

why is the universe who knitted these dreams together, taunting him for what he can’t have?

[spring002]

NEW THEME IS GOOOOOOORGEOUS VIVI

aw shucks heh heh

[spring002]

now playing. . . wonder if you care by flyingfish

scaramouche isn't the type of person to ask for advice. so why is he on the infamous site, reddit? well, he doesn't want to ask people knowing that he has weaknesses so obviously, he's here.

r/amitheasshole ∙ a year ago thehatguy aita for treating someone for being weird? i know how that title sounds but bear with me. i (M17) come from a predominantly rich family that is known internationally. when this person (GN17) came up to me, being all weird, acting like i know them. i was thinking that they were going to use me for connections / money / fame / etc. i didn't want that to slide obviously so i told them (dis)respectfully to fuck off. despite, my warning messages, they kept persistently to be friendly with me. in my personal opinion, i hate clingy people especially when we first met.

i tried my best to be civil with them and ignore / avoid them and their super weird-clingy-cringe advances. but they KEEP thinking we know each other from somewhere. it's getting annoying... and frankly, i did get a tad angry with them. so i pulled some strings and they aren't allowed to talk to me.... well in a class we share

after typing up a post, he already had gotten a few responses. he wiped right, unlocking his phone, to see the notifications. 

replies:

lesbianpirate69 you sound like an asshole

eyepatchwearernumber1 lwk loser behavior lmao thehatguy [OP] who even wears eyepatches? get off my post detectivelover69 nta they prob deserved it thehatguy [OP] thats what im saying

--- 

thank god someone agrees with me. he thought. well that was until he kept scrolling. a bunch of people calling him an asshole. typical. but the username "hydronarwhal" caught his eye. stupid reddit user. who even uses this stupid app?

hydronarwhal idk why would u be weird to someone js because they want to be friends with you thehatguy [OP] why wouldn't u be mean to someone who keeps trying to be friends with u hydronarwhal dude i think you have some issues thehatguy [OP] did u read it right? read it again for me hydronarwhal just because ur rich doesnt mean they want ur money bro thehatguy [OP] 192.1xx.x.xx

--- 

after this conversation with this guy "hydronarwhal", he had enough of this. clearly, that guy is sick in the head. blocking the account from seeing his post, he went to sleep. well, he will check the comment section after he had a well-rested night.

well, two more won't hurt.

bobaya nah thats weird. i get you on that using people for connections thehatguy [OP] finally, thank you beetlefighter101 wait ur weird asf for leaking someone's ip address thehatguy [OP] that's just the celluar data tower they're using beetlefighter101 what do they use thehatguy [OP] t-mobile hydrowhales0612 can u not? bobaya wait no, op is valid. t-mobile is ass

robinoaknumberonefan this sounds parasocial thehatguy [OP] you cannot be talking? barbaraisbetterthanrobin ROBIN CANT BEAT BARBARA'S PERFECTION robinoaknumberonefan uhh okay, albert. (albert's info) (albert's info) open full thread?

---

is he an idiot for leaving his notifications on for every app? yes. he is because why did his post that he was sure no one would really see due to the flood of aita posts, get l

[notification: reddit +1] adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story?

adornthenight are u sure ur giving the full story? thehatguy [OP] duh... why wouldnt i? adornthenight read this then www.reddit.com/r/aita/avidsnoopyfan

---

u/avidsnoopyfan my side of aita for treating someone for being weird? hello! im the person in the thehatguy's post. i want to clear things up. he said that i was clingy to him and that i was someone who wanted to use him for money. i reassure you guys that isn't the case. he just looked familiar. someone i held dear to my heart. i know that's bad to project on someone you met. technically you can argue that i could've seen him from social media but i don't really use any other than pinterest.

no comments yet

[spring002]

if you follow the winged fawn to the garden, listen to the sweet tunes playing. following the sweet tunes, there is a table with a book that opened on its own and on closer inspection, it is inscribed with the playlist's queue. on the other hand, there is an old mossed cobbled trail that leads you astray, but it seems to want to lead you upon a new path.

🦌 . . . [ system-vivi ]: hold on. slow your roll.

(*^_^*) 💬 hello it's vivi, your lovely garden host and guide. i'm totally not ancient-- like being 1800 is young! pronouns, snowmouns （；´д｀) idgaf what you call me! ...i use he/him. BUT! i suggest before anything else to go to the garden. it'd tell you more about me aka byf & dni!

𖤣𖥧 . . . choose your path [ go to the garden ] [ view the book ] [ walk on the trail ] abt me, byf & dni masterlist coming soon

[spring002]

now playing. . . i want you to want me by letters to cleo

if anyone knows you, they'll know the list, the list of top five things you hate about the infamous straight-a’s, cocky egoistical student known as scaramouche. you and he go way back when he used to be called kunikuzushi... well, actually, when he went by kabukimono. scaramouche is his “new brand” now. you hate how he was a sweetheart to a wannabe "badass" delinquent. you see him hanging with the group afterschool. they think it’s so tough to call themselves “fatui". whatever that means, you just hate the aftermath of your former best friend, scaramouche.

the list might be petty but hey, it's definitely a list. the list officially started in middle school when he began to mix with the bad crowd. his saccharine voice that used to talk sweetly to you as you two were best friends changed into something that could only be described as egotistic. the different friend groups he was in then, it made him think that he's the shit. when really in reality, he was the shittiest friend ever, ditching you at the curve to only be all buddy buddy with you later. only a sweetheart when you two were alone but the rudest guy you'll ever meet in front of his friends.

number one: you hate the way he talks.

scaramouche talks in such a condescending voice, it sounds too whiny, pitchy like he could be related to a banshee. it's so annoying when he's near your ear, spewing out lies to get under your skin. he always acts like he’s above everyone, especially you. like he knows more about you than you do yourself. sometimes, well let’s not lie, most of the time, you wish that someone finally gets the guts, the steel balls, to put scaramouche in his place. just to see the stupid smirk be smeared off his face, for that satisfying look of defeat etched into his porcelain face. maybe that would help you ascend to heaven when you die. 

it was late at night. you were chewing on your pencil, remembering a distant memory in middle school. it was stupid. totally stupid. you lost an academic event against him– whatever it was, it was devastating as it was ego bursting. you saw how he put up his fake facade of being grateful, you knew in reality that he would come over to brag to you. 

your friends were comforting you, saying that you’d get him next time, he would so lose for the next competition and that second place wasn’t so bad. it wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t scaramouche you lost against. yes, second palace to scaramouche. he sauntered over but really, it looked like he had a stick up his ass. he smirked, his voice pitchy and whiny as he called your name. kokomi gave him a dirty look as the others ignored him, averting their attention to you. 

but you took the bait, biting down as you looked his way. he said something so elementary. it was so stupid that you still get riled up from it. it was “you snooze, you lose”; it was unbelievably so dumb. he was smart enough to insult you properly and he didn’t give a shit to give you a better one. 

number two: his smile

you couldn't even classify his smile as a smile when it's always been a smirk. like he was a doll and the only face mold he has only been a smirk. you wish you could remember when he smiled so brightly you used to engrave it into your brain and dream of scaramouche being yours. alas, he's an asshole who's only emote in his inventory is to laugh like he’s operating without a brain. his hands look like skinny little tree branches as he chuckles like a madman. get a load of this guy. 

an idiot. 

number three: the way he stares

you two somehow managed to be in the same two classes together each year. it's like he pays the school to sit near you. this one time in class, miss linyang's liyuean history class, each table was a set of two and had to be coed. you were paired up with kazuha kaedehara. he was very cute as you could remember. but everytime you and kazuha interacted, you could feel daggers being stared behind you. you felt insane afterwards because even though you knew it was scaramouche. each time you turned around, his eyes weren’t glued to you but rather he was turned to his own partner, haypasia, doing whatever work they had.

during the second semester of history, you were paired up with another student, chongyun, who was a bit quiet but had an amazing work ethic. each time you two were working together, chongyun would always look terrified and guess who was behind you two....

scaramouche.

it's actually so sickening how he manages to annoy you. always stuck in your head, rent free. when you recounted this list to kokomi, she laughed at you a little and asked a question that irked you.

"name, don't you think these points are petty? are you sure it's out of pure hatred?"

you and kokomi were sitting in your bedroom while you debriefed midway through the list. she sipped on her tea quietly as you paused. is this pure hate or... wait? why are you second guessing yourself? kokomi doesn't know what happened to the two of you and why is she even asking that question? "pfft, kokomi, of course, it's a tad-"

kokomi placed her tea down on the nightstand and raised a brow.

"-- petty to list these as actual reasons to hate him. but i'm definitely sure these are out of pure... uhm, hatred. but nothing else."

"if you say so."

number four: you hate it when he lies

okay before everything that happened. 

before the identity changes, you remember how his mother lost her twin sister, miss makoto. how that situation of his life has been flipped upside down and how that affected how he treated you. not pinning this hatred on his mother, of course. but you wish things were different.

or at least, there could been a universe you two were still buddy-buddy despite it all. when you asked him what happened, he told you everything was fine in a bittersweet, heavy on sweet, voice, so you believed him. even though you knew it was a lie. you tried to coax the truth out of him, but he never broke it to you.

only when you asked his stepmother, yae miko, she told you the truth out and plain. however, she only told you because she believed you were his girlfriend, and you deserved the reason why he started to ghost you. but you two?

it kind of makes you laugh a little that she believed you two were together. kind of stupid, isn't it? by the time you found out, it was too late. scaramouche ghosted you for a newer crowd and it was fine. you didn't really need him anyway.

number five: you hate it when he's not around

as much you didn't want it to, your routine wasn't the same without him. his presence lingered in the school hallways, in your house, near your bed and next to you. you could only live off of glimpses of him in school and sometimes looking at your archived posts on instagram. sometimes when the thoughts get to you, you go through a cycle of denial again. but you managed to stop yourself from actually sending a text to scaramouche or breaking no contact.

you settled for less of him in your life because that's what he has given you. but was it worth it? you don't want to second guess it because if you do, regret would seep into you and linger in your brain until you rot to death. even after your death, if archaeologists in the future find your body, they’d find your bones in the dirt aching with guilt and regret, all the emotions you hid away over the years.

well, kokomi was right. none of these are out of hatred. there isn't just five reasons you hate him, there's a sixth which was:

number six: you hate it that you don't actually hate him, just miss him

the school year was over and the summer has started, maybe, it's time to get over this. your group of friends suggested that you should get out more often. during the school year, you were swamped with your job at the cat's tail, studying and responsibilities were piled up. eventually you did fell for their nagging and had a one day off, you spent it with kokomi, yelan and kaeya. in the mall, debriefing sessions and just overall, quality time. however, yelan brought up the fact she was invited to a party hosted by the itto. but you knew if it was hosted by itto, it's likely to see scaramouche again. not like you couldn't handle it, it's just that... yeah, you couldn't handle seeing his face again. in the tevyat uni, you could because it was school. but out of school, it's over. it’s best to decline the invite and go home.

yelan saw the look of your face fall as she sighed, adjusting your collared shirt. "name, you need to get out more. just because the one who could not be named is going to be there doesn't mean you shouldn't know."

kaeya agreed with yelan, "why are you letting a man get in the way of fun?" you knew this feeling– this is when your friends were going to gang up on you. mentally preparing yourself for an ongoing chain attack,  kokomi added, "and we haven't seen you outside of your dorms or even video calls. please, name, we could have so much fun at the party."

you replied, "just give me three reasons to go." the three of them made eye contact with each other just before blabbering out reasons why you should go.

"you could stop stalking him on instagram!"

"okay, low blow, yelan." you huffed, pointing at her accusingly. “and you stalk him on instagram not me!” 

“well, i just want to tell you when he’s doing badly. plus, you could use this time to catch up with other people.” 

"you could finally pull a guy!"

“or multiple.. guys.” 

"or it could be just hanging out with us, the gang???"

"talking to people face to face instead of text to text?"

 "you keep reposting sad shit on tik tok, it's not healthy to surround yourself with that negativity."

“you listened to mitski a couple times this week #nooticing.” 

you won't lie, some of these things do hurt to hear and they're right. you should go out. it doesn't help being depressed everyday when you only have two months of the summer left. "alright alright. i'll come."

they celebrated with a cheer. in your soul, you knew, the feeling of regret would still reside in your head.

you already regret it and the emotion settled on your shoulder. you're at the party, in a corner, and somehow, your friends who preached being by your side disappeared into the crowd who was raving to the music. you were left alone, holding a red solo cup. since it was actually shinbou and yelan's house, not itto's, so you knew your way around the house. you saw people making out haphazardly  in the hallways, you winced at the sight of that as you made it out upstairs, near yelan's beloved koi fish tank. a familiar face saw you, you nearly flinched at the pair of indigo eyes but alas, it wasn't him. you took a deep breath, preparing for more bullshit coming your way.  it was venti, already tipsy, holding an empty bottle in hand.

"aha! name, i knew you would be there." he said, walking to you, holding onto your shoulder for balance. "c'mere, do you wanna play a party game? you don't have to, of course, but you look a little bored here, standing near..." he paused to look at the pink-blue colored fish and a white pearlescent fish. "mimi and gojo. oh no, that white fish is totally dead."

venti wasn't a bad person per say, but you knew he was heavily associated with scaramouche. putting it as “heavily associated” was an understatement, they were most likely friends. you didn't really want to see him even though your friends encouraged him to face him because he's just a man or something not worth to dwell about. you ignored the offer for the game and replied with a short answer, "i don’t think it is."

he nodded as he took a tiny swing of the bottle before realizing the bottle was actually empty. his shoulders moved up and down as chuckling, he changed the subject back to the game, "anywhoo, are you joining us in seven minutes in heaven? or speculating?"

you knew that he wouldn't give up on the offer. he's quite stubborn. you gave in, "the latter."

"alright, follow me." he gave you a cheeky smile.

you saw familiar faces like kazuha and he waved at you. you smiled back. the rest of the people sitting in the circle didn't look familiar to you. venti laughed, "whoops, guys, this is name and name, this is xiao, the star twins, aether and lumine, yoimiya, nilou, albedo and so-and-so!" he placed the green tinted bottle down in the center of the circle, "we are playing spin the bottle."

you glanced at each person in the circle. xiao looked like he was forced to be there. lumine looked indifferent to the situation while aether was giggly... tipsy? you weren't sure why venti said so-and-so but you're sure scaramouche wouldn't play a game like this. after a couple of rounds, only some of the people came out disheveled while the others were just getting to know each other. you feel like this game might be a set up, but you brushed it aside. feeling the fomo get to you, you joined the game. venti cheered as you laugh a little. it was your turn to spin, and you landed on...

some random guy. he wore a hoodie that obscured his face. this is definitely a setup isn’t it?, you thought, as venti pushed you two into a random room together and locked it from the inside. you flickered the lights on and the other person in the room looked in your direction. you two were on the opposite sides, the gap between you guys could be compared with the sun and planet uranus. you couldn't make it out who it was in the room with you as he wore clothes that covered any features of him. unlucky for you, you just know who it is, "scaramouche."

he chuckled just the way you hate it. how it gets stuck in your head and forever played in your head, how it picked at you. how irritating. "took you long enough, name. a bit slow on knowing this time."

"you're not the type to play this game." you replied, your voice was not warm like it was before outside of this room. it was cold like when you lashed out on him long time ago. he doesn't reply for a while until he took off his mask and retorted, "neither are you but how would you know? we haven't talked in a while."

"'a while'? it was highschool. that's more than just a while."

he huffed, the stupid nails on a chalkboard voice coming back, ringing in your ears. "whatever."

"'whatever'!" you mimicked his voice. "you're still the same guy in highschool."

you noticed how your words pricked at him, expecting the relief in your heart. instead of the awesome feeling you’ve been yearning for since you were a tween. it was a pang in your heart, lurching forward. you saw the look on his face before, he's riled up. you've seen this face on him before but never as expressive as this. he grunted, his voice fluctuating between pitched to low. "i've changed."

you let out a sarcastic laugh, "yeah right."

the room was silent. you were sure these seven minutes might go on for decades now. you were waiting for the time to be over. he broke the ice, "you know what? why are you always pissed to see me?"

"what?"

"you think i'm stupid? why do you always get annoyed when our eyes meet or whatever."

"do you seriously don't remember anything? i didn’t think you’d develop dementia so early." you're in disbelief. how does this asshole not remember anything? is this how he lives life blissfully? you’re seething at this point, jealous that he’s unable to live the same pain he inflicted onto you. 

he rolled his eyes as you clenched your fist, almost winding it. just to be prepared to knock his head out before he uttered more bullshit excuses. "i remember that you betrayed me first."

huh? 

his sentence made you confused. betrayed him first? what kind of drugs is he on? baffled, you almost snorted. you quipped back without missing a beat, 

"what?"

so stoic, he didn’t even flinch but just looked at you with the same face you gave him earlier, "you broke the promise."

"well, you ghosted me and never explained why!" you replied. the gap between you and the indigo haired male slowly got lessen. he opened his mouth until he noticed that you were agitated. he closed it and inhaled, “fine, i’ll tell you since it’s obvious you forgot the promise.” 

an eye for an eye.

he sat on the bed, pursing his lips as if he’d regret even manifesting these words out loud. “i ghosted you because i didn’t want you to see me at my weakest… or at least, i think so. i didn’t understand the feeling i had at the time when i saw you with other people. i just wanted you to be my best friend. but there was this nagging feeling that you deserved better than me and you did.. you still do.” 

instead of reacting in disbelief, you pinched your nose bridge, “so instead of telling me, you just kept ignoring me?” 

“yep.” 

“you’re an idiot.” 

“i know.” he said with remorse. there was more to his words, something hidden. his gaze looked down at the wooden floors. “so what was the promise?” you asked, his head cocking up, meeting your eyes. 

“it’s something stupid.” 

“like what?” 

“that you’d be…” he looked embarrassed. man, you wish you had your phone on you because he was extremely red, flustered like you caught him in a trap. “... my girlfriend in highschool.” 

you couldn’t help but crack up, “i didn’t break that promise?” sitting on the corner of the bed, “if i’m being honest, if you didn’t ghost me, we’d be dating for sure.” 

he looked like he wanted to die. “so it was all my fault.” 

“nah, it was mine too. i didn’t ask you why you ghosted me either. i was too hurt by it.” you murmured, fiddling with your shirt. 

there was a pregnant pause. scaramouche murmured but it was loud enough to hear, “i think…” 

“what? just spit it out because this became seven minutes of closure.”  

"i think i have feelings for you, name."

you yelped, "...what?" were you really getting a confession from your ex best friend right now? if he was really someone you hated, then why was your heart aching again? "repeat that again?"

"i have feelings for you." in disbelief you laughed, watching him shrivel up into a corner. 

“again.” 

“no.”

you wanted to ignore this off like it wasn’t a big deal. as if this hasn’t been something you secretly wanted to happen, just not in this situation. your feelings were all over the place, divided on his confession. though, you always knew that you still like him and that kokomi was right, it wasn’t just pure hatred. you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him, no less, to love him again.

“as much as i reciprocate your feelings, i just can’t accept it.” you replied as his head lifted up, cowering in his hood. “you can’t expect to confess and think it would be all better because you did.” 

scaramouche paused, “but…” 

“but?” 

“if i earn your forgiveness, can it happen?” he asked, meekly. the facade of the confident guy diminished before you. 

you bit your lip, tilting your head left to right. “only if you do.” 

“i can accept that. i mean, i understand.” 

“okay.”