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[springtimesdaughter]

They both realize at different times.

Ethan knows more or less right away. He knew as he was in the water locking eyes with Percy, Percy, who wasn't quite all there in the moment. Ethan couldn't afford the shock, but Percy was in shock. [Not that he knew it.] They had locked eyes. Ethan could just tell. His mind focuses on anything else than the unmoving in the water around him or the pain in his side where something hit him.

Ethan knew as he prepared for the battle. He knew as he brought the armies in Manhatten. He saw Percy destroy anything in his path, and Ethan knew. That was his lover. The rights on both sides complete, and that meant something.

Ethan knew as he was om Olympus, as he weighed the scales, as he realized what needed to be done. He knew as he swung the sword and as he gripped the edge of Olympus. He knew as he and Percy exchanged the last words, and he knew as he fell. They had done it. Against all odds and everything against them. They had done it.

Percy didn't realize until things settled down. Until he could sit for just one moment. There were no more monsters to clean up, the Olympians had sworn an oath, and everyone alive had made it back to camp. It was when he finally truly started processing what happened that he realized.

It was unorthodox, but it had happened. The two of them had been in the water swimming together. A rite of love that he hasn't known about until recently and with an almost impossibility of completing it had still be done.

Percy hadn't known during the battle during the moments where his eyes met Ethan across the field on Olympus. He didn't know as he rushed to try (he tried) to save Ethan.

The two of them had been lovers, secret and doomed, and all the tragedy that Aphrodite had claimed it would be.

Neither of them was aware at the same time.

But they both got it in the end.

Even if it was the last thing the both of them did.

But one of them had to die.

Someone had to die.

That was the balance in it all. If not Percy, then Ethan.

Demigods have strange rites of love associated with their divine parents.

For example, the children of Apollo meet with their lovers, dawn, hugging, and the children of Demeter plant with their lovers, fruit-bearing trees.

The rite of love of the children of Poseidon is a joint swimming in large water. Swim side by side, gently touch your bodies, share the air with your beloved through kisses, connect your foreheads be free and gentle in your feelings like dolphins...

But if Ethan and Percy climb into any river/lake together, the nymph/deity will immediately ring all the bells and then it won't be much fun. It is too dangerous and the fact that they are together already poses a serious danger to their lives.

But the children of Nemesis also have a rite of love and it is much easier to perform it - a joint motorcycle ride through Manhattan.

They just need to thicken the fog and put on their helmets.

May I also suggest the idea that because Percy is the only demigod child of Poseiden, he doesn't know about his associated rites of love. The impact that baring children on the big three has on camp culture and the ties between cabins and other children. Percy could ask Chiron if he would have to know. He could ask one of the other campers if they knew the history, but he couldn't. It would be dangerous to. It's also considered semi personal. A sort of open secret of non-participation. Other campers know about other rites, but it's sacred between the people going through them.

Imagine Percy finding out about the swimming through a large lake or a wide river or best if all the ocean. Imagine finding that out and not being able to. Imagine spending the time trying to figure it out only to realize it's the last thing he and Ethan should be doing.

Percy, who talks about it with Ethan. The two of them talk about it in the maybes, the what ifs, the possibilities.

It leads up to Ethan talking about the Rites of Love that his devine parentage is associated with.

[It would be really interesting to explore the parts of demigod life that were lost by the banning of children, by the incoming war, by the finishing of the war. The aspects of family, of love, of even the culture they were lost, adapted, and on some cases forgotten.]

[springtimesdaughter]

Me and the four other Percethan shippers reloading the tag because one of us is going to make a post at some point.

[springtimesdaughter]

Me: I want to write.

Me: *opens up my document*

Me: I need to read the books again.

Me: *opens up the book*

Me: I want to write.

[springtimesdaughter]

Desiderum

[des·​i·​de·​ri·​um]

Noun

an ardent desire or longing

especially : a feeling of loss or grief for something lost.

Percy without memories longing for someone, something he can't remember. Percy searches desperately for what he is missing, so why is thinking about it hurts so much. Percy remembers Ethan on a trip to save a chained god that couldn't stop him if he went to get Ethan back. Percy, who can't do that, wouldn't do that. Not because he was incapable, but because Ethan would not stand for it. Ethan would resent him if he was brought back.

Percy, who longs anyway, who is in Alaska, with his memories back and the grief has all come back. He has missed months and months, and he forgot the ones he cared for, his mother, his friends, Ethan.

Percy, who yearns for Ethan, for just one more moment together, just a single moment of a hug, one more kiss, a shared conversation. He loved he lost, and still no one knew of it. He can not speak of it. Who would he speak to about it? It's still too close to the war, and another one is brewing.

Percy, who yearns to tell someone, anyone, but can't because who would understand, it's the wrong time, there is more going on that needs attention.

Maybe it hurts just a little to see other couples, maybe he feels a bit jelous, cheated out of something normal, but Percy choose Ethan and they were never going to have as normal of a relationship as demigods can.

Doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. He will always think of Ethan when he sees Hot Chocolate, or think of how much time they had been given [so much and not enough].

It's not fair.

[springtimesdaughter]

[warning! Callistratus Parker was eaten alive by hellhounds, the Greeks don't like traitors].

On Princess Andromeda, Nemesis forced Ethan to attend one execution of a "traitor".

Callistratus Soter Parker, son of Aphrodite and grandson of the southern spirit of the storm.

Camp half-blood turned out to be prepared for their attack in the western part and suspicion of leaking information to the enemy fell on him because he retained his romantic relationship with one of the sons of Ares, who preferred the side of Olympus.

Call cried and swore that he hadn't done it and that he and Tyler just loved each other and had never told each other anything about their side.

But Nemesis and Luke, who judged him, remained adamant and Aphrodite's son was recognized as a traitor.

But Ethan knew that his mother had brought him to the execution for another purpose...

Call had shiny wheat-colored hair and aquamarine eyes, a his fair skin was more creamy than milky, the resemblance was slight, but it was there.

Nemesis held his hand tightly, forcing him to stand still until only gnawed bones remained of Aphrodite's son.

Ethan couldn't have escaped, Ethan was frozen in fear on the spot.

Heart-rending screams, tears in blue eyes, blood-stained blond hair, the last hoarse breath.

Her golden eyes burned looking into his eyes and mother said: "I think the Olympians would be less merciful than us."

Ethan understood everything.

Sitting here thinking about the intricacies of war that don't get explored in the books. Thinking about the siblings who disagreed, the relationships that were tested, and the times that lines were drawn. Thinking about when the war comes ever so closer, when it's already there but no one wants to admit it, when nothing is enough anymore.

Some siblings still tried to meet, trying to let go of aggression for just a moment because they needed someone who understands fundamentally what it is like to be them. Sometimes, close siblings would meet on missions, in public, and later on battlefields. When the tines aren't perfectly drawn down parental lines, when it comes to morals, to visions of the future, to the emotions of children forced to be adults in the roles they must play.

Thinking about the traitors, the ones who came to regret. Both sides and no sides. The ones who thought they knew what they wanted, but when reality hit, when their faith was tested, they saw that they didn't truly believe. Wars are rarely wholly balanced. At least not in the way many understand balance. That was what Ethan had come to realise, though never more than allow it to be a passing though.

Parker hadn't been the first to die for the crime of betrayal, for sneaking information to the other sides. To falling in love and facing the consequences. There were stories of some who died before Ethan joined. The ones from the original crew who left. No one spoke their names. The wrath of Kronos, the person being put in the line of fire was avoided if at all possible.

Parker was the first execution he watched, was forced to watch. It was a balance. He had to attend; he had to watch. It was the position he occupied within the army. He was too high ranked to be gone from the punishment unless it was an actual emergency or an already preplanned mission. Neither of which existed at the moment.

Parker thought he could have love and a position in the war. He believed that love was enough and that he was careful enough. That was hubris, taking more than he deserved, unbalancing the scales. No game show participant truly won everything for nothing. There was always something waiting to take what was undeserved.

So Ethan watches; he doesn't allow himself to flinch and cannot be seen doing so. He has to show dedication. He has to give to get.

(A secret had to become open for another to stay so. No one gets everything, and some will receive nothing. Parker and his lover could not live on opposite sides of the war as long as Selina did, as long as Ethan did.)

It was the presence of the truth of reality. No one, not even himself, could play the game of love and war and come out on top with both. He had to give to get, and he had become a contradiction.

(Right hand to Kronos, secret lover of Perseus. War general and kind lover. Loyal and a traitor all the same.) It was balanced but only in the extremes it occupied, and only truly was meant to favour himself over everything.

So he pays attention to Parker's execution of the gore and violence. He doesn't allow himself to think, to deeply entwine the idea and to foster a regret that cannot and should not exist.

The Olympians and the campers would be much kinder than this. This was the fate no one truey deserved. It was evident how unfair it was in this and many cases. For the simple act of being in love, for having connections outside the army. Connections that would not be swayed to help Kronos. Those were dangerous to them all especially Kronos.

They were demigods, children, warriors and weapons. There was no balance, but there was. Demigods are a part of one existence and a part of another. Children in the picking of sides in a conflict with no truly correct answer that would fix everything were warriors in all that was taught of them. They were weapons in what else were they, if not continued weapons, continued pawns in the games of immortals.

Ethan Nakamura can easily see himself in the place of Parker when he and Percy are eventually found out. It's not a matter of if but when.

Parker was a direct threat, a reminder of what he was doing, and a warning and protection.

[springtimesdaughter]

Ethan Nakamura

Ethan, who remembers when Percy showed up. Who remembers that day that this new unclaimed camper who had been there less than a week disarmed Luke in practice. Ethan who could tell where the scales tipped. Knew this was going to be an Olympian kid.

The next question was if he would be claimed. There were several others in the Hermes cabin who were clearly an Olympian kid. Žofie the demeter kid who everyone knew her mother was very disappointed with. That was why she was unclaimed. There was Laura, who everyone had bet on being an Apollo kid. Hope, Yasmine, Theodore, etc. They were just unclaimed, not doing anything impressive enough to get claimed.

Ethan and several of the others were watching.

-

Ethan was disgruntled, annoyed, and angered. Jackson walked into camp, gets claimed, and is sent off on a quest. There's another empty cabin, another Olympian kid who has shaken everything up. He still has a mat and sleeping bag on the floor, knows who his mother is yet is still in an overcrowded cabin with every other unwanted demigod.

-

Ethan doesn't leave with the first of Luke's crew. He is angered at the Olympians, but he is still waiting, still seeing, who wants to think over the pros and cons. If this is truly what he will dedicate himself to.

He has a bunk now, he was lower on the list, he wasn't a Hermes kid, and his mother was a minor goddess that many have forgotten her power. It worked best for him, though. He wasn't notable like the Iris kids or the Hecate kids. He waits, he watches, and he thinks.

Victory for either side won't be easy. It won't be quick. It will be bloody, it will be drenched in blood and atop the mounds of dead. That is blamace. Victory is not easy. Balance is not easy. To hold too much pride in war is too loose. Everything comes at a cost. What is he willing to give up for it. What is he willing to sacrifice for his beliefs, for balance, for revenge.

-

The winter solstice passes. The newest camper ran, and Ethan made his leave. He left camp, and his decision was made. He would join Luke and join Kronos. The scales would tip in favor with time, with sacrifice, with blood.

He didn't like the idea of blood of unnecessary death, but there was balance. A sick balance that made him a bit sick, but to reach goals, something had to give.

-

He trades an eye for a tip of the scale. A little insurance to what needs to happen, a leeway.

-

The labyrinth is both a help and hinderence. Quick travel and a trap. The key to battle and an ultimate undoing. He has a fight to win.

[springtimesdaughter]

I've been working for months and months on a rewrite. I keep saying I'm close to finishing it, and in reality, I am, except for every time I want to add more, to rearrange something, when I want to add a scene from one of the older versions, when I go back and read the books looking and adding something. When I want to expand on what was happening in those in between months. When I realize I didn't dialogue enough in one scene or I want to be descriptive somewhere else.

My original goal was to get the story to 10k words. 3 k more than the original.

I'm not even halfway done with the list of edits I want to do, with the details I'm going to add, with the expansion of it all. My new approximate word count is 25k words.

The first version of this story is from 2020. The only published version [the third version] is from 2022. This 4th rewrite is almost two years in the making.

[springtimesdaughter]

Each time, Percy gets hot chocolate with a different additive.

cinnamon, mint and vanilla - each time the additive is different.

This is his little game for Ethan-he has to guess the taste every time.

Ethan always waits for Percy to take his first sip of hot chocolate and kisses him.

He guesses what it is every time.

I love this so much. I kept trying to think about how to respond to it because it's so sweet. It would be so cute in another story. Sadly, it doesn't fit in my timeline. By the time the two of them got together, the season of spring was already coming to an end, however Hot chocolate still does mean something in their story.

It starts off with just a cup on New Years. It's so busy, so many people, so much going on that Percy can afford to spend a little bit more time. It's so soon since returning from the unwanted trip to the underworld, but he needs to see Ethan, make sure he is okay. He could be hurt because he failed.

It starts off with a small cup, and soon Percy brings a thermos a couple more times. Once, he accidently adds peppermint favor to the thermos. But Ethan likes it. It's almost February, and that small shocked smile was warmer than any coat or thermos could make him feel.

He starts adding new flavors where he can. Some cinnamon a week later, he spices the chocolate a couple of times, mint, cherry, rose, orange. Mixes and matches. Even when he can tell it's not Ethan's favorite, he still finishes the thermos.

It gets too warm for a thermos, but by then, the two of them hold hands and kissing in secluded corners like the fate of the world isn't coming close, and they are just hiding from broken school rules. Sometimes, it feels like that. Because they are just children. Still too young to do most things but expected to do everything.

Hot cocoa long before holding hands and dread of the countdown days on the relationship was 'I love you.'

I love you with every flaw.

I love you with each oddity.

I love you even when we disagree.

I love you when everything isn't quite right.

I love you not in spite of or despite of, I just love you.

I love you and there isn't enough time.

I love you, and there will never be enough time..

[springtimesdaughter]

Percethan AU. Their mortal friends once ask, "Hey, how did you get to know each other?"Percy is going to say the standard banal nonsense like a joint school project or a clash of foreheads in the park, but Ethan is absolutely sharp and calmly gives out "at his older brother's fight club. I fell in love with him right at the moment when he flunked me." - kiss Percy on the cheek.

I know this took me so so long to answer I was looking for a post this reminded me of and I couldn't find but it was something about a punch to face feeling like a violent first kiss and that's the vibe of Percethan's first meeting.

Also one of my favourite things is demigods needing to interact with other demigods around mortals who can feel a Vibe but obviously don't know what happened.

[springtimesdaughter]

I like to think that Sally, Annabeth and Rachel knew that Percy was seeing someone, but they respectfully kept quiet because he didn't want to tell...

Sally was an attentive and sensitive mother, she noticed some unusual anxiety and dreaminess of Percy, his appetite decreased and his mood swings became even more pronounced. She quickly guessed that he was in love.

Her suspicions were confirmed when one day Percy returned home from school slightly pinkish and little stuttering, he was reciprocated. Sally expected an enthusiastic colorful story and perhaps a request for advice, but Percy didn't do it, a Sally didn't push him.

She was only quietly glad that her little boy had experienced such tender feelings for the first time and received reciprocity.

From that moment on, Percy's behavior changed again - he became agitated and dreamy, his appetite increased and his mood swings became weaker.

And every day after school, he went out for a "walk" every day and took food with him and made hot chocolate, each time with a different additive.

If Sally saw her son come home late at night or sometimes at night, he looked insanely happy.

Even Paul noticed this and asked Sally, and she, with a little guilt but too excited, told him. They held each other's hands and were happy for their son together.

By the beginning of summer, Percy's behavior had changed for the worse again - he was depressed and sad, but he tried to hide it from them, his appetite was greatly reduced, and his mood had hardly changed.

"He broke up," Sally thought, "most likely to protect his lover."

Sally Jackson felt anger towards Poseidon again, and this time it was harder to suppress.

After the Battle of Manhattan, Percy was alive, Olympus won, Kronos was sent to Tartarus, but Sally didn't give a damn about two things out of it.

Percy was depressed, severely depressed.

When he returned home, his eyes were red with tears and empty with pain.

The bright oceanic blue faded.

Sally, except by a miracle not bursting into tears, hugged him tightly to her.

"He's dead, Mom," Percy pressed his face against her chest, Sally laid her head on his pearl-golden crown of her head, "I'll never see him again..."

her son cried even harder.

Sally understood everything instantly.

Hatred for the adoring tragedy of the goddess of love Sally Jackson, could not be suppressed, and to be honest, she did not want to.

Having to watch your child go through the perils of love, of the horrors of war, of the tragedy of love, and not do anything. Sally was smart, she made educated guesses on the situation.

The first clue had been when Percy didn't talk about it. It wasn't unusual for Percy to not speak of things, but to jot speak of any of it, to actively hide it to what in the beginning seemed to be himself. At first, she thought it was just because he had caught feelings for another boy. Maybe he was struggling internally. Maybe the things Gave had said impacted him more than she thought. Maybe it was one of the schools. Soon, she realized that wasn't the problem.

It wasn't easy to tell, but she figured it out. He baby, her child, one given a burden no one she bear was in love with someone that he shouldn't even be speaking to. It was the way that he always was out around the time of pre-dinner, the way that he left earlier in the mornings. The way on weekends, he would pack extra food and be gone for hours. He was meeting his love during the times people would be paying less attention, the times when the gods were busy, the monsters were busy, and when less eyes would be looking.

Sally figured it out. She never said anything. Never confronted Percy, never spoke of it to anyone. Paul knew Percy had found someone, but Sally never talked about her suspicions. This was greater than parental pride and fear. There was something big coming, and her child, her Percy, was going to be forced into fighting someone he loved.

So she makes sure there's extra food, that hot chocolate is ready to be made, that Percy is given the quiet to leave and come back. It's the least she can do. She worries. This is her child. She never wished for this pain upon him, but she knows life for Demigods is often painful and short. She has to allow her child happiness, even if only brief.

If she privately curses the romantic connection between people as a game to higher power, she doesn't dare speak or dwell on it. She remains vague of her curses of her pain, as someone having to watch their child head towards tragedy.

She dares not speak.

Until Percy comes back crying, in pain, and she knows that he may have won against the Titans, but he lost someone he loved.

She dares not speak on how she knows, not yet. She allows her child, he's still just a child, to cry and break down.

----

I also love the idea that other people sort of knew something was happening. They Percy was seeing someone. Rachael thought it was a demigod, and Annabeth thought it was a mortal. They knew about the tragedy incoming, and they assumed his emotions were for possibly leaving them behind, of the death that was drawing closer. Percy's fatal flaw was loyalty.

Loyalty is rarely straightforward or easy to understand. There is loyalty to a great many things, and those loyalties can come into competition with one another.

[springtimesdaughter]

Demigods have strange rites of love associated with their divine parents.

For example, the children of Apollo meet with their lovers, dawn, hugging, and the children of Demeter plant with their lovers, fruit-bearing trees.

The rite of love of the children of Poseidon is a joint swimming in large water. Swim side by side, gently touch your bodies, share the air with your beloved through kisses, connect your foreheads be free and gentle in your feelings like dolphins...

But if Ethan and Percy climb into any river/lake together, the nymph/deity will immediately ring all the bells and then it won't be much fun. It is too dangerous and the fact that they are together already poses a serious danger to their lives.

But the children of Nemesis also have a rite of love and it is much easier to perform it - a joint motorcycle ride through Manhattan.

They just need to thicken the fog and put on their helmets.

May I also suggest the idea that because Percy is the only demigod child of Poseiden, he doesn't know about his associated rites of love. The impact that baring children on the big three has on camp culture and the ties between cabins and other children. Percy could ask Chiron if he would have to know. He could ask one of the other campers if they knew the history, but he couldn't. It would be dangerous to. It's also considered semi personal. A sort of open secret of non-participation. Other campers know about other rites, but it's sacred between the people going through them.

Imagine Percy finding out about the swimming through a large lake or a wide river or best if all the ocean. Imagine finding that out and not being able to. Imagine spending the time trying to figure it out only to realize it's the last thing he and Ethan should be doing.

Percy, who talks about it with Ethan. The two of them talk about it in the maybes, the what ifs, the possibilities.

It leads up to Ethan talking about the Rites of Love that his devine parentage is associated with.

[It would be really interesting to explore the parts of demigod life that were lost by the banning of children, by the incoming war, by the finishing of the war. The aspects of family, of love, of even the culture they were lost, adapted, and on some cases forgotten.]

[springtimesdaughter]

Headcanon percethan.

Percy doesn't ask Ethan to leave the army for him.

Ethan doesn't ask Percy to join Kronos.

They love each other too much.

they won't be able to hurt each other like that.

[springtimesdaughter]

Sometimes, I go through the 30 + anons I have just to read them to see if any of them speak to me. Most of the time, I can't think of a good way to respond. I like reading them, though.

Percethan being the only reason I'm still part of the PJO fandom at the moment.

[springtimesdaughter]

Every time they meet, Ethan checks to see if Percy is injured.

It doesn't matter if it's a date or another clash of the Olympic half-breeds with the army of Kronos.

And Ethan wants to kiss him every time.

[Not a fan of the term half-breed]

Ethan and Percy in Love Amongst War don't kiss until spring. I like putting it in April. They certainly thought about kissing before then. Percy briefly wondering what it would be like to kiss Ethan when they are both in the underworld, Ethan wanting to kiss him at the end of February. They almost kiss mid March, bit it was definitely the wrong time and mood for it. They kiss in April.

They find a way to kiss every time they see eachother. Whether on the lips, the cheek, the hand, the shoulder, or the ear as the whisper to one another.

The worry about the other, but never ask how or why. They can't. They know the how and why. They don't say anything, but they still check. They check all the time. Injuries that they can't do anything about. So they kiss each other lightly. As light as a soft breeze. Gentleness and fragility are something they can't have anywhere else but with the other.

[springtimesdaughter]

Type of love Percethan, - Right person, wrong time.

Right person, not enough time.

I can see both, though. If they had only established a connection to each other sooner, maybe Ethan would have stayed. Maybe they would have done their own thing, maybe it would have worked out. It was the wrong time for them.

One the other hand. At least in my AU. Right person, not enough time. There was never enough time. They knew they were on a clock. By the time they found eachother there was less than a year left, than six months, than summer, than a week, and than none.

[springtimesdaughter]

Ethan fell first and Percy fell harder.

Ohh I like that. Percy caught feeling first but didn't fall in love until later, and when he fell, he fell hard. Ethan looks awhile to catch feelings. When he did catch them, they quickly evolved into love. They never get to discuss it, though. They were both in love but never got to say it. In that moment, before Ethan died, Ethan asking for Percy to help change things was Ethan bearing everything in his heart and everything in his soul. He would never tell anyone or ask them to help with it unless he completely trusted them to do so. That was Ethan saying I love you." Percy never got to say I love you, but when Ethan, at that moment, asked Percy to change things to make them better, he promised. He took everything said to heart and, in return, gave the most concrete promise possible. That he would. Not that he would try, but that he would.

[springtimesdaughter]

Another moment that I adore in your fanfiction is the moment when, after their kiss, Ethan asked Percy if it was a ploy to get information and how everything inside Percy twisted with disgust at the very thought of playing with someone's feelings.

Ohh you're going to love the expanded version I have been working on.

[Not tye actual transcript but close enough]

Percy wanted to flinch. The idea of twisting someone, especially someone he had grown to like in a game of information and distrust made him squirm, it made him feel sick, it made him feel trapped.

It was a valid question, it was an understandable concern, it made sense to ask, because it has happened before and it will happen again. Percy could never though.

Over the last few months he had gotten to know Ethan in ways that maybe no one else did. Maybe no one else could. Ethan liked hot chocolate with just a bit of a flame of spice. Nothing overwhelming but just enough to mix and contrast the sweet. He knew that Ethan wasn't too fond of the Dark and preferred being in brighter well lit areas. He knew that Ethan cared so much about what he believed in that death would be the only thing that stopped him.

Percy couldn't fathom the idea of stabbing someone like that in the back. Couldn't imagine leading someone on in false pretense in such a way. He would die before doing something like that.

So the idea that Ethan even had to ask that question hurt. It made him want to melt away. So maybe that's why he leans in again. The distance between them small.

"Never."

He would explain more later if Ethan asked. He would put those fears to rest any way he could, but for now he kissed Ethan again, and Ethan returned it.

This was treason for both of them. This was a fast pass to being dead, but in that moment it didn't really matter, because Percy felt alive. More alive than he had felt since finding out his death was coming. He was only garenteed a few more months of life, and in this moment it felt like he was living it.