squiffyfungi

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The masculine connotation of a bow tie and the feminine connotation of a bow on the top of the head implies a nonbinary bow style placed directly over the nose

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shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.

when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on

in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek

once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl

I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation

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does anyone have the foggiest

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my cat has not been enjoying the heatwave

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Smash Potato Quiche —

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prometheus: hot take,

the greek gods: no give that back

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Positive self talk i am SO GOOD at dropping my phone

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I love bugs in their house (outside) but not my house (inside)

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ideal ways for me to die

1. old age, peacefully in my sleep

2. after a long and illustrious career i am at a rooftop gala hosted in my honor. i am wearing a beautiful gown, holding a glass of red wine, standing by the railing. a scorned lover approaches and, after a passionate spat, they push me over the edge of the building. the wine glass goes flying, splattering their outfit in red as a visual metaphor for the blood on their hands. as i descend my gown flies around me like two beautiful wings, a bird in flight. a photographer on the street manages to take a photo before i hit the ground and that photo wins the pulitzer. a new york times think piece is released regarding whether or not it's moral to profit off a photo of someone's death. the think piece also wins a pulitzer.

3. sex accident.

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Mutual in 2010: I like when girls smell nice

Same mutual in 2025: I need to be sexually tarred and feathered

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So-called "free thinkers" when their friend has to pee

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i love sluts i love perverts i love dykes i love faggots i love aromantics i love freaks i love librarians i love ibuprofen

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