squigglyspellcastersociety

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

From the Curse Compendium: "Terrifying curse revealed to be a shellfish allergy. Interest in allergy curses spikes. Mulberry Elmglade, allergy researcher, recommends that 'these idiot casters stick with the Curse of Constipation to get back at their spell school rivals' and that 'all spellcasters interested in allergy curses change course immediately or be stuck answering stupid interview questions for pop-curse magazines.'"

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

"Enhancement of short range teleportation via the use of glitter"

G. L. A. Mezyni

Short range teleportation has seen extensive use in small-scale conflicts, diplomatic entrances, and avoiding tardiness to group wand polishing sessions. However, the spells used to do so often are designed to be discreet and avoid notice, while recent attempts at flashy teleportation spells often end in accidental immolation. We propose a new, nonmagical means of enhancing the entrance potential of short range teleportation spells via the use of glitter, which allows users to avoid relearning their teleportation spells and considerably reduces risk of conflagration. Trials on the entrance potential are reported with a 31% increase in the S.W.A.G. factor, a measure used previously to objectively measure how "cool" a spell looks.

A full copy of the publication can be obtained by contacting the author directly.

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

From the Runecraft Reporter: "New rune unveiled with claims that it improves tower surveillance, but is criticized for clearly being a generous illustration of the runecrafter's anatomy."

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

From the curator: sometimes I'm asked to observe meetings of the Squiggly Spellcaster Senate to document what happens there. Towards the beginning of the most recent meeting, two wizards were arguing over who had the superior hat. Their arguments ranged from what you'd expect ("my hat is woven from the finest silks, while yours has a stain of pasta sauce," "your hat makes your naturals look small," etc.) to the tenuously connected ("but the color of YOUR hat has connections to the pixie labor crisis [curator's comment: this is like saying that the USA is the only flag that's red, white, and blue]").

However, both wizards promptly shut up when a third wizard strolled in wearing a hat that was about 2.5m/8 ft in diameter with little stars that drifted across it's surface.

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

I feel like I should clarify: as the curator of this communication stream, I'm translating what the Squiggly Spellcaster Society sends me, in multiple senses. Tumblr is not magic, and sadly, neither am I (which is partly how I got the position in the first place). Also, they don't speak English, and their translation runes are still early prototypes.

I put my comments in the tags if the translation might have been ambiguous.

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

Spellcaster Sun: "Local magic denier claims that "it is what it is" when it clearly isn't."

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

Magic Magazine: "Upon discovery of the wizards of earth, Squiggly Spellcasters stunned to discover that their most sacred vestments most closely aligned to bathrobes."

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

From the Squiggly Spellcaster Senate:

This morning, Senator Pedel Steras of the Rutburn Quag introduced a proposed Statute titled "Elixers for Edgelords," which creates tax incentives for people who qualify as lords over edges, or "edgelords." It also defines the term "edgelord" and gives guidance on the responsibilities and privileges associated with the title.

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

"Strategies for the treatment of sealed intergluteal clefts"

B. U. T. Thetix

With the revealing and subsequent rise in the use of "mend buttcrack" curses comes increasing demands for treatments both magical and surgical. The ambiguity as to the optimal treatment method, in addition to the time-sensitive nature of treatment, especially when the victim consumed food near or after being cursed, often lead to suboptimal results and avoidable emotional distress in victims. This review examines patient outcomes of all available treatments, including the controversial "rend buttcrack" curse, and makes recommendations for treatment strategies.

A copy of this publication may be retrieved free-of-charge through crystal ball scrying.

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

From the Spellbook Press: "Preliminary studies show that spells written in cursive simultaneously improve potency and security against young, foolish apprentices. Full scale trials to begin soon."

[squigglyspellcastersociety]

Authorization to Publish 931.248B: Squiggly Spellcaster Society Blog

By decree of the Squiggly Spellcaster Society Senate Statute 25.267A, this blog is authorized for dissemination of information by the Squiggly Spellcaster Society (the Society or the SSS) and communication therewith.

Communications will be organized to tags including but not limited to:

#spellposting, #wizardposting: general information relative to spells (#wizardposting used with guidance that an existing community of wizards exists to whom the communications may be relevant and should not be construed as favoritism of wizards over other spellcasters, which is prohibited by the Every Spellcaster Slays Act 21.02836)

#squiggly-spellcaster-senate: announcements of new statutes and other information regarding the Squiggly Spellcaster Society Senate proceedings

#prestidigitator-publications: general category relating to publication announcements in various fields of magical research.

#thaumaturgy-tidings: news originating within the SSS, or items that made substantial impact in the SSS press.

#curators-comments: for posts relating to commentary by the curator relevant to the SSS - for example, translation notes.

#bloggers-bullshit: for posts unsanctioned by the SSS but added by the curator anyways (they can't stop me mwa ha ha)

Requests and communications to and with the SSS are open via asks and messages - however, responses are not guaranteed. Also note that attempting to manipulate the curator through mundane or magical means is strictly prohibited by statute 1.028A and is subject to penalty.

Statute 12.412R requires that all class C communication channels whose content includes but is not limited to preparation and use of spells declare that such communication channels are unable to fully convey the information needed to safely recreate such spells. Thus, this communication channel is released from liability from any damages caused by information transmitted herein. Please contact your senator for more information, or if applicable, the spellcasters whose work was authorized for publication via Statute 12.412S.