st4rviingcals - Tumblr blog

[st4rviingcals]

today i revealed my weight to a boy in my class and he proceeded to tell me how light i was and literally CURLED me and did push ups with me on top of him. not to mention the other people who started gathering around me literally to just TOUCH MY HANDS because of how "bone-y" they are. im so fucking proud of my progress.

[st4rviingcals]

Started a 2 day fast. I would strive for longer but on Saturday I'm going somewhere and I'll be forced to eat. To make up for it I'm going to do 10 day diet that consists of 200-500 cals max.

[st4rviingcals]

I burned my tongue and now I can't taste anything (I still can but only on the sides of my tongue and the back). This could work in my favor though because if I can barely taste anything, why bother eating?

The only thing that tastes good right now is tea everything tastes like sandpaper.

[st4rviingcals]

its so hard to face the fact that i dont look 10 pounds thinner after i didnt eat for one day

[st4rviingcals]

I feel like I've gained, but I know I haven't, but I feel so fat. I'm either going to fast or OMAD until Christmas. I can't deal with this right now.

[st4rviingcals]

Back in early July I used to eat about 100-200 cals (I didn't count so this is just an estimate) and it included the same things everyday which was a cream cheese sandwich and a protein bar. I could barely stay awake, I was freezing, constant brain fog, dizziness.

It was terrible yet I still want it back.

I want that constant feeling of hunger.

I want to feel that tiredness.

I want to feel like I'm in a never-ending winter.

I want to feel like I'm going to faint every time I stand up.

Because if I feel that, then at least I'll know that I'm truly starving.

[st4rviingcals]

Before → after

[st4rviingcals]

☆ Intro⤑♬ ♪ ♫

This is essentially a space for me to vent/rant about my struggles.

╰┈➤ 159cm // 44.4kg // cbmi 17.6

⤷ gw 41kg // ugw 36.3kg // gbmi 14.4 ⤶

⤷ diagnosed arfid (occasional c/s) ⤶

⤷ poc // ♀ // Call me Sai ⤶

╰┈➤ ❌ NOT RECOVERY SAFE ❌

⤷ PLEASE BLOCK, DON'T REPORT ⤶

⤷ TOPICS OF SH (no photos dw) ⤶

╰┈➤ Feel free to ask me questions :D