stabercrombieandbitch

[stabercrombieandbitch]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[stabercrombieandbitch]

your honor my client is guilty can i get another one

[stabercrombieandbitch]

If i may ask, why has your kid had a lawyer since birth?

Honestly, because I had unprotected sex with one

[stabercrombieandbitch]

permission to lib out?

[stabercrombieandbitch]

this is your monthly reminder to stretch

[stabercrombieandbitch]

Yo my friend says that playing cookie clicker made her realise she was trans somehow (she says thank you)

video games really can do anything

[stabercrombieandbitch]

bit hot today got the feets out

[stabercrombieandbitch]

[stabercrombieandbitch]

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

[stabercrombieandbitch]

This is who is leading the NYC mayoral democratic primary rn

[stabercrombieandbitch]

[stabercrombieandbitch]

(via $4.6 billion and 40,000 jobs lost—thanks to the artistry of our politicians. : r/clevercomebacks)

[stabercrombieandbitch]

[stabercrombieandbitch]

chuckling indulgently.. oh go on... i suppose a LITTLE bit of monica in my life wouldn't hurt

[stabercrombieandbitch]

they should invent joints that don’t hurt