staircaseenthusiast

[staircaseenthusiast]

Meet me at the staircase tonight, I want to see you smiling in the moonlight, I wont have gleeful goodbye to say, Let alone enough time to stay, I will be waiting for you by the staircase tonight, I plea you to wait for me and wear the dress in white, The weather is expected to be breezy as soon as the sun sets, I'll be there before u know it, with a heart full of regrets, Grace me with your presence by the staircase tonight, To recall all of the laughters and all of the fights, Dont forget to forget ur shoes by the staircase, Lets take a walk in the garden, Let me have a good look of your face, I have high hopes to see you at the staircase tonight, Dont leave me waiting beneath the fairylights, There is no sign of you yet, I'll no where, maybe smoke a cigarette, You are nowhere to be found near the staircase and now its midnight, I see no smile and no moonlight, I waited for u, still i see no dress in white, I wanted more laughters and less fights, I'll just stay here and feel nothing downright!!

[staircaseenthusiast]

With the intensified pain, knocking against my chest,

I recumbent on the grass and allowed myself to get lost in the dark,

With the trepidation of becoming dispossessed of a haven,

I buried myself into the ground symbolically

I kept on lamenting on the facade of,

Keening on staying there until the time embraces it halt,

Allowing the soft, cold grass to inhale in and imbibe my ceaseless tears,

I tossed myself slightly to meet the most splendid city lights,

Sensing the striking lights bereavement in my untimely farewell!

Expressing sorrows of the departure of its beloved one!

In my sorrow, the city notorious for its heat,

Dropped the weather in the honor of the one crippling on the grass,

As if, the weather was holding on to me and pleading me to stay,

I looked up at the sky, adorned by the city lights,

And closed my eyes and consumed the silence before my last say,

Pursuing the intention to leave the ground, and stroll around the water,

The city lights filled me up with the strength to be audacious,

And silently asseverated me to hold me in its embrace until the time approaches,

Envisage the reflection of the city lights in the water beyond of midnight,

Promising me to deem the miracles of the time, and the visages of the time-turner,

Until the time comes, stay the believer that the city lights made you to be,

The time will shortly come, bid a warm farewell to the one that you truly treasure,

The city holds way many surprises and delights for me,

To shower it all on me, upon my arrival!

[staircaseenthusiast]

this makes me so emotional

Today's the day my life begins. Today I become a citizen of the world. Today I become a grown up. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself and my parents. Accountable for more than my grades. Today, I become accountable to the world. To the future. To all the possibilities that life has to offer. Starting today, my job is to show up wide eyed and willing and ready. For what, I don't know. For anything. For everything. To take on life. To take on love. To take on the responsibility and possibility. Today, my friends, our lives begin. And, I for one can't wait.

[staircaseenthusiast]

I would kill to have an honor to explore this bewitchingly beautiful staircase!

[staircaseenthusiast]

                 STILL TRAUMATIZED

Walked a mile, just to be rushed to the ER,

The doctors flabbergasted at the state I was in,

Yet cherished my valor to walk this far,

Prioritizing me over the prioritized ones,

Carefully laid me down on a table,

As if it has never seen a misfortune like this one before,

The doctors paced around the table in circles,

Conferred edgily what should be dealt at first?

Bled out for a mile, just be rushed to the ER,

The expectancy for a trauma injury was beyond the par,

Sinking in my woe, I shrieked and shrieked ‘til I couldn’t mutter anymore,

Yet I witnessed a doctor ditch his patient,

And come wailing and whimpering in my direction,

Fervent to nurse my massive trauma injury,

They started to work in teams,

Each of them executing their expertise on the massive trauma patient,

I braced myself for a mile, just be rushed to the ER,

Surrendering myself to the agony of the trauma,

I begin to lose myself somewhere, lying on the table,

Only to be found from the nudge felt on my rib cage,

The paddles of the equipment were petite,

But they felt against my chest like an earthquake,

Perhaps being inexorable that night was a mighty mistake,

I suffered all along a mile, just to be rushed to the ER,

I walked a mile and merely got a bandage wrapped around my head,

Oh! What kind of extraordinary measures were they?

No mention of CT scan, no mention of preparing the OR,

To the day, I am traumatized by that trauma injury,

I lose my mind and they think of me as a lunatic, without any inquiry!

[staircaseenthusiast]

That Desolated City

In a barren and desolated city,

Deprived of the amiability and city lights,

Walking the dead street, with burden on my shoulders,

Imprecating the fading moon, in the wake of twilight,

One step ahead, one step back,

Eternally capture in the incandescence of the frenzy,

Anticipating forever for the rain to pour down on me,

Waiting and craving and desiring immensely,

  I pity the desolation and wretchedness of this city,

Witnessing the wailing in seclusion,

Participating the jubilation in harmony,

Accusing the poles apart with no allusion,

  At last, the sun has peaked but the birds are nowhere to be seen,

Depraved out of sincerity and credulity in this desolated city,

Marching through the mocks and ridicule of the simple-minded ones,

Convincing myself to be deaf and beam out of my veracity!!

=

[staircaseenthusiast]

FAVE LYRICS!

[staircaseenthusiast]

[staircaseenthusiast]

[staircaseenthusiast]

Fuel and food for my soul! 

[staircaseenthusiast]

[staircaseenthusiast]

Knight in shining armor!! <3

[staircaseenthusiast]

Listening to that one song was like, Sitting on a wooden step in the beginning of fall season, When the leaves turn crips and the climate falls, And the greenry is interchanged with the warm, orange color, When there is a get-together in a wooden cabin on the outskirts of the city, And the cups are filled with rootbeer, When the trees are wrapped with the alluring fairy lights, And suddenly the ice tea in the refrigerator is replaced by a cup of coffee on the table, Listening to that one song was like, The smell of freshly baked muffins, And the smell of vanilla and the chocolate chips, It was like, Walking slowly in the rain, It was like dancing senselessly in the rain, Walking in the calmest area of the city, Surrounded by senerity and tranquility, When there is no hustle of the traffic, Just the beautiful street lights and the light of the sun half set! Listening to that one song was like, A burst of emotions, a burst of colors, Relaxing in the old, soft couch In my favorite burgundy sweater, It was like cuddling with fluffy cats, Listening to that one song was like, Going on a road trip with the loved ones, And putting on a vintage, french perfume, It was like butterflies in the stomach, And it was like coming up for fresh air, Listening to that one song was like, Walking by the seashore on a fine day, It was like counting stars on a fine night, It was like getting lost in the woods, With the intention of to be never found again, It was like getting lured into a cave by an estranged magician, Only to be introduced to the mind-boggling alternative universe, Somehow, it was everything... It was like coming back to home!

[staircaseenthusiast]

Elevator to hell

DISCLAIMER: I have not experienced anything like this in real life. I wrote this excerpt when I was 18 years old and it was the current situation of my mind. Considering the nature of my blog and its dedication, I would refrain from re-posting about posts like this but, I think its fine to incorporate what I have lived through. If there is a stairway to heaven then, there is an elevator to hell as well. The content of the following post is highly metaphorical in nature and it is what my 18 year old mind perceived at the moment! This is my metaphorical, visual and figurative approach on depression that i had.

“Does the sun ever know how to be merciful?” I complaint as I swiped the sweat dripping down from my forehead, “I would rather stay hidden in the deep shadows than to step out in the sun”, I said that out loud to openly express my frustration.

It was one scorching afternoon, when I left my home with the intention of delivering documents to a given address. The address and the documents were provided by the person that I have known for a considerable amount of time. The intensity of the warmth of sun signified as if the Day of Judgment is right around the corner and it has lowered itself in the tribute of that one ordained and intended day. I took a cab and I asked the driver to steer the car in the direction of the address that was given to me. Of course, the cab driver, an aged man, showed pure intentions towards his customers and executive substantial customer care. He seemed far away from those kinds of drivers, who would raise their voices against the customers, who would bargain over the fare of the cab. Long story short, I reached my destination within the shortest span of time, paid my fares and showed gratefulness towards the old driver and I left the cab with the documents firmly held in my hands.

When I looked around and saw that my destination was a plaza, and it was far from being the plaza that any sane person let alone an unaccompanied girl would even dare to look at or go in. I take keen interest in situations where I am aware that this wouldn’t be the right thing to do, and when I crossed the threshold of the plaza, I could feel my gut struggling and screaming for help inside of me. I could hear my inner-conscience begging me to run, pleading me to turn back and take a cab, no matter how much the fare would be and run for my life. My inner conscience has implored to me before but being the obstinate, mulish and obdurate individual that I am, I added further more steps. The entire plaza was vacant but I saw some people moving around and by the appearance of their dressing, it emerged that they have no home to live, no shelter beyond their heads and beds to lie in and relax in. By the appearance of their behavior, it seemed like they were residing in the basements of this vacant plaza and it turned out that the basement of the plaza is the place where they reside, eat, sleep, waste their time and hence, live. I should have considered it as a sign to turn around and run away at the speed of light but, what about the documents?

My objective was to go to the second floor of the plaza, and I thought to take the staircase, as I am a staircase enthusiast but it was a scorching day and I felt the need to take the elevator, even when I know how much the elevators freak me out. By the time I entered the building, I was already breathless and if I were to take the staircase, I would no indubitably conk out on the staircase and I couldn’t risk attempting that. I was beyond petrified and my guts’ scream had partially deafened me by that time. So, out of disconsolateness, I took a burdened step towards the rusty elevator, which seemed like has been deprived of services and renovation since a decade. With a breath of reluctance, I took another loaded step towards the elevator and out of a maddened state, I pushed the button at last.

The building consisted of five, on ground, levels and I was required to be on level 2. The elevator seemed to stuck at M1, which is supposed to be in the basement and suddenly I could feel chills running down my spine, despite of the fact that the sun was burning outside and I could feel goosebumps creeping on to my skin. Out of nervousness and overwhelming fear, I pushed the button again and turned around and stared blankly at the exit gate, where the sun was burning and causing unconsciousness among the feeble people but, at that moment, it seemed like a sanctuary. And ta-da!, finally the elevator viciously opened its door and let me in and I instantly pushed level 2, which was apparently smudged and no one seemingly never bothered to paint fresh numbers over it. I expected the elevator to take to directly to level 2, as no one in the building would want to use a tarnished and ineffectual elevator, but suddenly I could feel the elevator going down and it reached the bottom-most portion of the building and the doors of the elevator opened, ostensibly to invite another human being inside the electrical carriage, but there was no shadow of a sane human being in the sight. Now, I am aware of the human anatomy and I am aware that which organ is positioned where and what kind of protective membranes and bones they are surrounded with, but I could feel my heart in my throat, yearning to come out and splatter itself on the elevator floor. I fidgeted and fiddled on the buttons and with the complexion of a ghost, I stowed myself against the walls of the elevator and hoped for the best and I hoped for an escape. I was frightened enough to find the way to the ground level and run away and never come back—just like my concise pleaded me to. The elevator tricked me again and took me to the fourth level of the building, this time I could feel a loop forming in my stomach and I could pledge that it was far from being a sober reality, that, it could be one of my worst terrifying nightmares. I was rest assured that I would spend an eternity, moving up and down in the estranged elevator, alienated from the world and the sun. I know how I have mocked my olive complexion and fancied for a fair complexion, but at that frame of time, when my skin was becoming paler and paler, defeating the characterized ghosts we have been on groundless dramas but, the color of the shroud, I stared at my hands and wished for them to be of olive complexion again.  

The elevators kept on moving up and down in circumlocutions and I crawled into the corner of the elevator and waited for it to stop at the ground level but the elevator kept on moving up and down without a halt. It felt like I got entrapped in a limbo and the only way out is to run but to run away, I needed the elevator to stop—it would stop at various levels, drift open apart and let the eternal hush in, until the doors of the elevator hugged again and jeer at me for being a sore underdog.

I accurately remember that, when I stepped in, the elevator had no mirror on its charcoal walls but, when I decided to get up and pace around, the charcoal walls were suddenly replaced with mirrors, one side of which was completely shattered but it showed a clear visual. On the contrary, the crack-less mirrors showed a distorted image. I pondered to myself that what if I smash the mirror into pieces, maybe I will have a sharper visualization. Deprived from food and water, exhausted to infinity and the beyond but out of desperation, I took a quick blow to the mirror and expected it to be shattered all over the elevator floor but, my initial turned out to be a limp blunder. I turned around and saw my reflection in the shattered mirror and saw a razor-sharp visual of mine, sitting and laughing on the staircase—and I am fascinated by the staircase. Seeking inspiration from what I just saw, I took another blow to the mirror and I could feel the pieces falling against my hands, when the mirror met its demise and I could see a clearer picture in the shattered mirror. My lungs had almost given up out of asphyxiation and claustrophobia, but at that moment, I felt victorious and that I could still find an escape.

 When the door of the elevator renounced themselves at level two, which was my intended level, I was expecting for a departed soul and guide me out from here but, instead I saw a fire place, which flames burning in it. I finally stepped out and of course, I remember why I came here in the first place. Taking advantage of the occasion, I tore the documents that brought me into the elevator to hell in the first place and threw them in the fireplace. When the pieces of papers were turned into ashes, I could feel the trap around me letting me go of its atrocious grip and begging me for forgiveness, which I was too well-versed not to give. I was out of the woods, out of the elevator to hell, and out in the sun, which I was despising for its scorching heat but, it felt like my freedom, my sanctuary.

[staircaseenthusiast]

My Obsession with Lace

A lot of people have noticed and scrutinized me for owning and wearing beyond many lace dresses. Like Hey GUESS WHAT!! I am super obsessed with dresses and I am super obsessed with lace dresses, they are super cute and super trendy and the best part is, I design most of my dresses myself and I will be experimental if I had enough knowledge, resources and money. I might even start my own business :) and I might profit out of my cute, lacey obsessions and laugh my way to the bank while you still scrutinize me over it :) 

[staircaseenthusiast]

Perhaps, I should initiate a new series and file it under the title of “First Job” because I could be starting with my first job long before I realize it and I should brace myself for how difficult and rough it could be. 

[staircaseenthusiast]

While I am aware of the fact that, some of my posts could be way too detail-oriented but I have lived through that time and as long as I am blessed with the exceptional memory that I have, I want to secure that in the form of words as well, something my main blog hardly supported, given that, it discussed my day to day activities and thoughts but it hardly reflected on my past experiences and my future aspirations.