stanley01 - Tumblr blog

[stanley01]

HELP OUT A NEURODIVERGENT,WILL YOU?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok,so-- in short: I need activities.

In long: I am a student in a horrid school with outdated education,loud children and partially useless teachers. I've been searching for ways to make things more bearable but have come to the conclusion; I need help. Internet's help.

I,no doubt,have some sort of neurodivergency (some sort of illness or just a different working brain than my peers) and due to the insane prices,I can't get diagnosed. I have tho been researching alot of different mental illnesses and divergences and display alot of ADHD/ADD symptoms. Almost 90% of the common and uncommon symptoms I have,at some point in my life,felt. I also display autism symptoms but much less. There may be other ones but again,I'm still in the middle of researching as it's not just a small Google search and the first few links that pop up.

I do have the ability to drop out of school but many people in my life + darn society have forced me to go to school for the next however long it is for 5 times a day,7 and a half hours a day,sit in 5 mundane classes,go home,and possibly suffer some more. I have been having a hard time paying attention or finding motivation in the classes although have pretty good grades. (My attendance is... Something else 😬 BUT purely for what I'm about to say next) The teachers at my school spend too much time trying to shush and punish the misbehaving kids (which I sometimes join too but purely because there's nothing better for me to do as the whole class is paused while the kid is misbehaving but I'm nowhere NEAR as bad as them.) and so,much of the 7 and a half hours are spent sitting at the desk;in full uniform,not being able to stand up, and not allowed our phones. Pretty understandable but when you sit for 1 hour for 5 whole classes for 5 times a day with nothing but your thoughts it is an absolute WRECK. And for some people this may seem like a dream! And it would be,IF IT WASNT FOR THE CONSTANT CHATTER,CONSTANT BICKERING AND TALKING OF THE APPROX 30 OTHER KIDS IN THE FKING CLASS. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE AIRPLANES THROWN ACROSS THE CLASS EVERY 10 FKING MINUTES. IF IT WASNT FOR THE 'POPULAR GIRLS' THROWING RANDOM PAPER BITS OR SMALL SWEETS AT YOUR HEAD. IF IT WASNT FOR THE SCREAMING OF THE TEACHER AND CONSTANT FIDGETING OF OTHER PEOPLE LIKE PEN CLICKING OR HUMMING.

Calming down now,it ofcourse isn't always like this. This isn't some class from a movie about an untameable class with only one good perfect student. But the absolute things I would do to absolutely hush every child in the damn room would definetely reach headlines. Only thing stopping me? The consequences that would follow. Detention,police involvement,fines,possible criminal record,maybe jail time,who knows! But definetely not a great big thank you.

Ok ok, we're getting slightly off topic now,it's about how I,a neurodivergent,would like advice on what to do in class while I have hours of free time that's completely being wasted. At home I can think of tons of things to entertain me but at school my brain shuts off. I need a list of things to do or bring or think of to distract me from the chaos. A few rules tho of my school: no big or loud fidgets (some teachers prohibit them entirely),no phones or gadgets in class(a small bypass to this is I have wireless earbuds and shoulder length hair which can cover my ears but need to be charged daily and I may miss something of the teacher),must always wear uniform but can take blazers off,in p.e can't wear jewelry and some strict teachers don't allow it In their class either, and that's mainly it from what I can remember. But this isn't the most important part,the most important is me,my brain. So in short he's what I observed about myself and behaviours I never noticed before: I can daydream but I do not have the ability to clearly visualise images and have a hard time thinking of what to think about. I have poor time management. I'm very forgetful,and I mean VERY. I love the textures of sponges but who tf brings a sponge to class? But also I hate the texture of sharp metal rubbing on blazer-like material (ironic as I have alot of safety-clip backed pins. Yes I absolutely cringe when it makes that rough ''skghh" sound). I love worksheets, especially when others are not doing the same one as me. I like reading but can NOT focus when others are talking. Like drawing but find it hard to find something that I am passionate on drawing for that moment specifically and ofcourse can't remember what exists,bad memorryyyy,so I just draw what's around me and ofcourse there's barely anything. I like researching,making lists,and brainstorming on topics that have no connection to the class- it's something weirdly fun,but I can't seem to know what topic to choose! I love animals (specifically birds,pets,dogs,cats and mammals);the other world like space,metaphysics,magic,ect; my own brain; gravity falls; ciphers; Rick and Morty. There are a few other things but once again,bad memorryyyyyyy (I have litterally forgotten my own identity on multiple occasions.

So please,if you could,give me ANY idea of what to do. I appreciate it if it's something to do with writing. I can get a notebook just for writing random stuff but just tell me what!!! An example be like: write about all your current interests,write about every single person in class,ect.

Some things that have worked for me before in school was writing about my show/book,listening to music while doing worksheets and glueing glitter to my book. Some things that didn't work at all was drawing other students andddd I think there was alot of other stuff I tried. Shit I genuinely can't remember although I've sat here for like 10 minutes.

[stanley01]

1000 likes!

Dunno why it's a milestone but sure

[stanley01]

GUYS THIS IS IMPORTANT

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Should I make my account based around me Irl (not my content just like if anyone asks how old o am I say my real age,ect)

Should I make it around a self insert (Also named Stanley) and for context they go by Skrunkly Stanley or just Stan,are very masculine,is around 24 and is a shapeshifter.

ORRR should I make it around an oc and pretend he is the one in control of the account? Either A, Fhelix, a spirit with God like powers who is so tired of everything he just pretends he doesn't have powers and doesn't give a poop about people but is still an incredibly nice person (mainly to children and animals and people younger than 20 -because he died as a teen) OR B, LIEFEN,who is..another..slightly self insert boy with very fast mood changes but acts very nice. Oh and not to forget, they're both intergalactic criminals and like alot of police are looking for them 😀💅 so slay I guess-

PLZ I NEED TO KNOWWWWW #HELP #ME #DECIDE #PLEASE #IMBEGGING #OC

[stanley01]

Quadruple bingo 😎 Welp.. this is me /\ and all my work has been done in notebooks and litterally never on an actual writing site,so although my posts are as empty as the Sahara desert,tryst me, I've written lots.. I know litterally nobody asked but I joined by force! Haha!

yes i made this because I didn’t want to work on a WIP 

[stanley01]

Check it out

This just happened \/ \/ \/ \/

[stanley01]

Bro I swear, anything y'all comment under this post gravity falls related (UNLESS ITS A SHIP) I will draw.

Fiddleford X Stanford and the gay cops are fine tho and I'd be happy to draw them because they're 100000% cannon in my heart.

#gravity falls #help #i wanna draw #artblock

[stanley01]

Enjoy me making a story based on absolutely real events.

The sun was shining and the birds were singing,what a wonderful morning you would assume. Exept for me,my shoulders were heavy with the weight I was carrying. Metaphorical? Nope. I was carrying a large backpack full of groceries all the way home,up a hill,around half an our of treacherous journey right nexto a busy road.

"Why,oh why did I not take my electric scooter? I would be having so much ease right about now!"

My stomach growled and head pounded. I've been wake the whole night and haven't had an ounce of food in my body other than that slightly stale bit of pepperoni and bread sandwich from yesterday. Every noise seemed to disrupt my thoughts,the birds chirps were too high and the cars' roars were too low. I wanted something calm to listen to but all I had was my phone. Whipping it out,I scrolled through my favourite list of songs but none of them seemed appealing,and so I resorted to the recommended page and blasted music from my pocket. Finnaly near my door I kneeled against it,searching for my key.

"cmon now,where is ittt,just give me the damn.. AHA!"

Quickly opening the door I took my bag off my back. I quickly unpacked everything in its places as I went to get milk for my breakfast and fell against the staircase,grabbing on to the railings.

"It's really not healthy to stay awake most the night,is it?" I muttered to myself,trying to regain balance while my brain was so foggy I forgot what I was going for in the first place. Grabbing the milk I waddled to the kitchen,barely a few steps.

Suddenly,I felt a excusiating jolt in my stomach.

*gosh damn it* I thought to myself *What now? A cramp? An injury? A god damn heart attack?!?*

The pain grew more unbareable and I crashed my upper body into the counter,grabbing my stomach in pain,trying to bare it.

*hunger.. I'm going to assume*

I yanked the cupboard open and took a bowl out,sliding it onto the counter as I opened the new box of cereal in such a hurry,I didn't notice I sliced my ring finger. Quickly opening the bag inside I poured it till it overspilled in my bowl and followed along with milk. I carefully then put the box flaps back into their built in holder in the box. I may feel like I'm dying and will do anything to get an ounce of food in me,but I have STANDARDS.

Throwing my limp body onto a chair,I FINNALY got to enjoy my cereal,which I have been eating while writing this,heh..

Gosh damn it my cereal is soggy

[stanley01]

Why do I love angst so damn much?!?!

I cannot even begin to describe everything I feel. It's like a excusiating pain,that gives my chest a heavy feeling,puts my stomach in a whirl,makes me feel so bad for a character but at the same time it feels so right,at the end of reading them, I smile sadistically for some reason,I squeal of joy and stim of excitement. It may be an overstimulation reaction but it may be of a deep routed sadistic urge to see and imagine me or others in pain to make me feel an intense emotion which inevitably gives me joy. Gahhhhh.

WHYYYY IS BRAIN PROGRAMMED LIKE THOS AND IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME??

[stanley01]

I'm fully convinced

People on Tumblr > any other people > people on Reddit > People on Facebook > people on twitter.

If you're on Tumblr,I instantly assume you're an awesome and/or kind person.

[stanley01]

Me,reading or hearing anything about someone who's sleep deprived: How could someone make such a mistake,it's probably not even that hard. Just think,bro.

How I feel when I only sleep for 2 hours:

[stanley01]

Redrew the scene where Stanford says "HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES?!" and I guess it's kinda in my style..?

Thought I'd share it.

#gravity falls #stanford pines #fanart #in my style

[stanley01]

Me,going into Tumblr: Oh hey Tumblr! May I request some Stanford fanart and angst on my fyp?

Tumblr:.... Bill cipher smut?

Me: NO! STANFORD PINES ANGST AND STUFF.

Tumblr: Bill X dipper?

Me: how messed up are gravity falls fans and why do you think I want to see thoseeee? ರ╭╮ರ