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[starwrighter]

[starwrighter]

[starwrighter]

It's Danny's first time doing his taxes, and he's reaching out to an online friend to help him. This is how he discovers that as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Amity Park is a barely contained zombie outbreak.

He'd made an online friend, Bart, and they played video games a lot.

Danny's fulltime job is inventing alongside his parents, and as that makes him self-employed (he doesn't work for his parents just next to them), this makes his taxes a little...scary. And it's his first tax season.

He reaches out to Bart, and asks if he knows anyone who files as self employed and if they'd be able to give him some guidance.

He can't ask his parents because, apparently, they've just been throwing random numbers on the papers and have no interest in actually doing them. Danny would like to do this properly.

Also he would like to know how his parents haven't been arrested? Questions for later.

So he shoots a message to Bart, who's apparently in the middle of some sort of sleepover with all of his old friends. Bart assures him that it's fine, and they'll all pitch in to help.

They just need to know his city and state so that the nerd of the group, some guy named Tim, can look up local state and city tax law.

When he tells them he's from Amity Park, there's no response for a good ten minutes.

What follows is a barely legible request for a phone number to call, and a group of people on the other side shouting and asking how he's avoided dying in the hellscape zombie apocalypse that is Amity Park.

Danny has no idea what the other shit means, but he's not about to dodge a chance to make a dead joke when he has one.

"I mean. If you wanna get technical, I didn't. Is...that something that'll effect my taxes?"

OR: The GIW has been lying to keep the Justice League and Justice League Dark out of Amity Park by declaring it a Disaster Zone, stating that not only is there massive pollutants in the air and soil, but that the undead run rampant and are barely contained. The wording they use, however, is a little weird upon closer inspection. It never specifies zombie, and it never says what pollutants. Danny's not super interested about that, though; he just wants to pay his taxes so that the IRS doesn't kill him in his sleep.

[starwrighter]

Zuko having a connection to the spirit world but instead of it being something deep and profound, it’s just because he spent three years pre-finding the avatar running towards the first weird magical shit he saw.

[starwrighter]

Ohhh lord, Danny’s going to be dodging attempts on his life like a looney tunes character. He’s one of the very few people who’s only annoyed when he gets stabbed. (Wrote something short)

The Witness hadn’t flinched when a blade disappeared into his abdomen again and again, the shift in his expression wasn’t one of fear or confusion just pure…Annoyance.

“Dude, it’s a fucking Monday, what’re you doing?”

“Killing you?” They don’t know why they say it, but the sheer absurdity of the situation got to him. The boy was clearly delirious, pumped so full of adrenaline he didn’t feel the multiple stab wounds.

“Get in line,” the kid muttered shaking his head as blood spread across his white shirt. “Man, this was my favorite too,”

They can feel their face burning bright red, their fingers curling. Suddenly they’re wrapped around the boy’s neck squeezing as hard as they could. It’s not their usual method, it’s personal, the kids blank unimpressed expression only fueled a burning rage. They didn’t care that the kid’s face didn’t go blue, his face was pale and sickly before that, his eyes sunken from sleep deprivation and his frame thin and gangly.

Even when they heard the snap of the child’s neck those eyes still blinked back at him. Eyes that were too blue utterly lifeless despite the constant rise and fall of his chest. Something deep in their chest chants “This boy isn’t right. he needs to die,” He has to die.

The boy doesn’t flinch, not when fists crash against his face and not when they’re pried of the monster’s body and a vigilante is clutching that thing close whispering promises of safety begging it to stay alive. It humor’s them, breathing ragged and limply following instructions.

“It needs to die” every bone in their body chants as he’s loaded off to a prison cell.

Witness Protection

There’s a dead guy in the alley and it’s not Danny. 

Ok, technically there are two dead guys in the alley but honestly, Danny feels like they’re way past semantics.

Because, once again, there is a dead man in the alley. 

Danny is fairly sure the guy’s been murdered. The bloody mess that is the guy's chest is a pretty good indicator, but the bloody knife that's still stuck in the guy’s guts is really what makes it for the teen.

Danny might be freaking out a little bit. Because, while he is used to dead people, they’re never this newly deceased, or for that matter, this gruesomely murdered.

Before his breath can quicken too much, Danny makes himself take a deep breath. 

Say what you want about Danny, but he hasn’t spent his high-school career moonlighting as a teenage vigilante without learning a thing or two about staving off a panic attack. Feeling more calm, Danny focuses back on the issue at hand.

I should call the police, says something in the back of his head that sounds like Jazz.

If I call in the murder I’ll be on the suspect list, retorts some other part of his brain he’s choosing to call the Sam part.

No advice from an imaginary Tuck though. Even in his own mind he can’t imagine a Tucker that hasn’t already passed out cold at the sight of a dead guy. 

Which, fair. Danny is kinda considering the option, as he’s feeling a little faint himself. It is way past time he got out of here. At least he's figured out just how to do it.

Anonymous tips are a wonderful thing, made all the more wonderful by the presence of payphones in Gotham.Danny is officially handing this off to the proper authorities.

Boy is he glad he doesn’t have to be involved anymore.

A few streets over, a hooded figure rounds a corner, their breath coming fast  as they clench their bloody fists agitadely. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone there, and yet. This is an unexpected setback.

The hooded figure leans back against the alley wall to catch their breath. Nothing to do about it but fix it. And as these things go, this is an easy mistake to fix. The face of the black-haired blue-eyed hurdle floats to the front of their mind. 

It should be child’s play.

[starwrighter]

@ashoutinthedarkness thanks for the tag, I needed the enrichment.

Imagine being a human trafficker in gotham and not only does Red hood chase after you, he does it as a fucking dragon.

Also this directly states that Jason is a cannibal. He’s straight up chomping down on human flesh and bones like it’s his profession. Surely when Danny finds where that amulet went he’s going to be like “dude, what the hell?” This is downright terrifying to him considering Jason is a human from modern times who upon gaining these powers decided to fucking eat people. Yeah, they’re deplorable people but they’re still human beings that are being munched on like baby carrots.

The Amulet of Aragon has some psychological effects on a person in the moment right? Nobody really acts like themselves when they wear it, and I assume it amplifies feeling of rage. So I propose that the Amulet and all it’s effects are not mixing well with Jasons…everything.

While I love the idea of this happening early in Redhood’s career, the sheer angsty punch to the gut of having this take place when Jason’s repairing his bonds with the family.

Jason finds the Amulet of Aragon in a drugs bust. He's a little busy at the moment, so he just throws it over his head to wear it until he can toss it in the evidence vault later.

Naturally, the absolute second he gets angry a giant fuckall dragon decimates the warehouse.

Jason has decided he really, really likes this amulet thing.

He's refusing to give it back.

[starwrighter]

I bet giant isopods are sooo delicious broiled in butter the whole thing is like lobster meat

[starwrighter]

Danny, due to his biology of being half dead, can eat very questionable things and not die. He decides to start a youtube channel with this.

He buys obvious shitty supplements online, clear and obvious scams, and takes them as directed for a month.

Then he reports what they did to him, and sends the samples to get tested. He's gotten more than a few scammers arrested by providing solid evidence that they used hazardous materials to make their product.

He gets away with this by claiming to have the power of abnormal metabolism, or an "iron stomach", so toxins aren't as likely to hurt him.

One of his viewers sends him an unmarked bottle of pills, saying that if he doesn't take the entire bottle on a livestream, they'll blow up a city.

Danny does his livestream, and goes out of his way to use the entire bottle of pills in extravagant recipes. By the end of it he's created a five course meal, all with the pills cooked/melted in, and it's become a mukbang.

The villain who sent it is watching the livestream pissed off, because they didn't specify how to take the pills, so this technically counts. The heroes they have trapped are losing their minds with concern.

[starwrighter]

lil doodles cuz i am very eepy

[starwrighter]

dead serious #1

the common Trope of Danny being mistaken as a pit demon but making it childhood friends to lovers. Damien Meets Danny after  Danny escapes a bad  attack GIW or Fenton dealers chose. Damien nurses him back to health. They talk and become friends then Danny leaves through the Lazarus Pit to the ghost Zone.   Danny later comes to visit a couple more times before Damien has to leave the league to go to Gotham. Danny regularly Checks In on Damien but Damian has told no one about Danny. Damien ends up summoning Danny after he's been badly hurt And Danny goes Feral. Danny goes full  Eldridge being on the attackers and forgets to transform back. Later when Danny leaves Damian  refuses to say anything about Danny or explain. I imagine the entire family is trying to figure out what this thing is and why it's protecting Damian while Damian's trying to figure out if this means Danny returns his feelings..

[starwrighter]

[starwrighter]

never over this

[starwrighter]

[starwrighter]

this is the most tumblrified man to have ever existed

[starwrighter]

[starwrighter]

"I hired him with a bag of hot cheetos."

"You...hired who?" Joker asked, looking around.

"My bodyguard from my hometown. I hired him." The hostage said, actually sounding bored.

"...There's no one here but you and me, kiddo, and-"

"You and I, actually. His name is Phantom, and he's here right now. Bye."

Then the kid disappeared. Literally. Him, and the bomb he'd been strapped to.

Or; To soothe his parents about his decision to move to Gotham, Danny lied and said he'd bought Phantoms services as a bodyguard with a bag of hot cheetos. Now, whenever he gets into trouble, he just goes invisible and intangible and nopes out.

[starwrighter]

What's the trope name for when someone finds out they're the Chosen One(tm) and is like "No, thank you" and goes and does something else