stfuitsrylan - Tumblr blog

[stfuitsrylan]

Private: Fine. Just shut down like always. I'm over this anyways. 

  Private: You broke up with me. Not the other way around. You have no ground to demand to see me. So no, I will not meet you anywhere. I’ve said what I wanted to say.

[stfuitsrylan]

Private: I'm not letting you off the hook that easily, Matty. We need to talk and soon. I don't care if that means we never see each other again after that. We'll decide when we get there, but you need to meet me somewhere. 

  Private: It wasn’t my choice to keep it a secret! No, you know what, I’m not fighting with you. If I’m going to have to be stuck here with you for lord knows how long, I would rather us keep peace. So, I’m sorry for whatever you think I did to you. We can’t go back, apparently, so let’s just move on.

[stfuitsrylan]

If I had a kitchen, I could make you a pizza.

I really want some pizza right now..

[stfuitsrylan]

Gonna spend some time with my boyfriend so I'll see you guys later. xoxo.

[stfuitsrylan]

Private: Matty, you know how much it bothered me to not be able to tell anyone about you because it was our secret? You know how scared I was that someone would find out and you would be mad at me for it? I lived in constant fear, Matty. I loved you, too. And oddly enough, I still do after all this time and I would do anything to go back to all those times we spent together. 

  Private: What the hell was your reasoning, then?? Me being “too good” for you is bullshit. I’m nothing compared to you. Nothing. Do you realize how much I didn’t care what other’s thought of us? I loved you, Ry. Are you really that oblivious to the fact? I couldn’t text you back, Rylan. If I did that would signify that I was fine when I obviously wasn’t.

[stfuitsrylan]

Private: Oh, please, Matty. I broke up with you for a reason and me saying that I never wanted to see you again was to protect the both of us from getting hurt. You were too good for me and everyone could vouch for that. You know how many times I've tried to send you a text or talk to you at school? No, because you stopped caring.

  Private: Well maybe if you didn’t break up with me in the first place, I would text you more often. If I’m not mistaken, you told me — for no reason —  that you never wanted to see me again. Am I right, Ry? So really, if I’m “Someone like that”, it’s for a hell of a good reason.

[stfuitsrylan]

I'll bring it to you sometime later. I'm about to go on a walk around town.

  Really? That’d be kind of awesome, I’ll promise to take super good care of your reading blankie don’t worry. I’ll only really need it if it’s cold or windy.

[stfuitsrylan]

I have an extra blanket I could give you as long as you promise to be careful because it's my reading blankie. 

  It was chilly in the house too. Mostly because as the newest addition to the house, there aren’t exactly any more blankets to spare. Towels work well, though.

[stfuitsrylan]

You know, I'm not exactly sure he does. Maybe if he talked to me sometime. Even a text would've made me feel better, but I guess that's the price you pay when you get attached to someone like that.

  Well, “this guy” sounds like someone who probably misses you. I’m sorry, it’s a force of habit. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, though.

[stfuitsrylan]

You know, it takes way too long to cure an animal you slaughter so I think a fridge or food mart or diner would be a smarter choice for you.

Apparently it’s entirely possible fo me to fall asleep anywhere but I’m awake now so who’s going to find some kind of farm animal for me to eat?

[stfuitsrylan]

Just this guy...someone I used to spend a lot of time with. And please, Matty, don't call me that. 

  Have you, now? What about the past has brought out such a seemingly distressed comment, Ry?

[stfuitsrylan]

I mean, I wouldn't say tortured. Just...thinking a lot about the past lately..

  A peek into the tortured soul of an amazing Writer.

[stfuitsrylan]

I hate thinking about it because it was exactly what I needed and I really want to forget, but I can't even fathom where to start forgetting. 

[stfuitsrylan]

The worst thing is that it got kind of chilly out last night and the wind was blowing. Otherwise, it was super nice. 

  I slept in a bed for the first time in what feels like a month, but it was nice to sit on the beach for a while.

[stfuitsrylan]

I ended up falling asleep on the beach curled up in my blanket. It was so nice to be able to see the stars.

  Like, last night I spent most of the night on the beach and it was much more relaxing than spending a night in my house.

[stfuitsrylan]

It's actually really nice here. It's just hard for some people to accept being stuck here, I think. 

Am I the only one that happens to like it here more than home? Probably. Do I care? Eh, not really.

[stfuitsrylan]

I don't really think that'd be hard for you to do. Make a girl's day amazing with compliments. I'm sure you can make anyone swoon. 

  Well I’m glad I could make your day amazing.