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[stillheroes]

18 and depressed

(via stillheroes)

[stillheroes]

The only people who can survive in this society are those who don’t understand it.

(via stillheroes)

[stillheroes]

Confusing Mess

You get the feeling everything in life is just too much? Like you don’t know what’s going on, you don’t know how to react, all you know is that what you are doing is totally wrong, but you have no clue how to live a life, i never did it before i guess. Just the constant feeling of being confused and not having things under control that are supposed to be basics in life, like see me here, im in my room, mess is everywhere, every morning i put the stuff on the ground on my bed, but at night im just dropping everything that’s on my bed on the floor. And that’s exactly how im living my life right now: it’s all doing useless stuff, where you know there is a better way of doing it, but you don’t do it because you know you will fall back in it again some day and then all has been for nothing. 

I’m not saying im living a hell of a life, i’m just trying to figure out how to live mine while everyone around me seems to know what they are doing and instead of following their example and taking control of my life, im trying to find every possible way to escape my responsibilities and emotions. Some of them do actually help putting things in order like the gym, but most of them are just a waste of my precious time. I mean, i’m only 18, i shouldn’t worry about these things now, i’m young, wild and free like they say, but instead i’m bitching about things that seem too difficult for me to handle with. 

Tomorrow I turn 19 and i don’t know how to behave after 1,5 years faking I got everything under control. I’ve just had enough of being the smart guy that knows how to live a life but can’t live it himself. But I also don’t want to be the guy that seems depressed over some stupid life decisions.

I don’t really know but I think it all started about a year and a half ago. During the lessons of Religion we learned about philosophy and unanswerable questions. We also learned that the way how we think about those questions make us who we are. Well there is the problem: Who dafuck am I? Am I still the little kid from elementary school who people laughed with and called him gay cause he did gymnastics, like all the girls in the class and didn’t like football like so many other guys? Was I just an easy target cause I didn’t feel that secure about myself? Was it cause i was a small thin boy that couldn’t defend himself that you could hit me and easy call me names? Was it cause you knew I was too nice to say anything back or hit back? Maybe i’m just the awkward ugly boy who had more girls as friends than boys because I had the feeling other boys didn’t accept me. But after all it seems nobody really accepts you the way you are, they always wanna shape you to the boy that seems perfect in their eyes. They don’t understand you and you can’t explain what they don’t understand, cause you can’t understand it yourself. You think the only way to understand it is to go through it yourself although you know there are other people who have been through the same as you. But you still don’t want to listen to them cause you think you can figure it out all by yourself. I hope one day i’ll be like that: trying to give advise, all confident and under control, to some kids going through though times in their lives although you know they wanna figure it out all by themselves but you can’t help but try to tell what you have been through but you know you wouldn’t have accept it as well at your age, cause well, you are still there.

[stillheroes]

Blogcontrol

So i guess i’m gonna make kind of a blog of this, it’s crazy but some people say you got a better control of your feelings if you write them down. I don’t expect anyone to read this, i figured out everyone has his own shit in life, so i’m not gonna bother you, just wanna make up my mind and get things under control

[stillheroes]

Tomorrow is my birthday and maybe you should consider giving me some life essentials like advise how to live my life or some tips and tricks how to not seem like im lost

@mtiasdfort (via mtiasdfort)

[stillheroes]

Tomorrow I turn 19 and i still got no clue wtf is going on in my life

@mtiasdfort (via mtiasdfort)

[stillheroes]

I'm just like my points: 9.9/20, just not good enough

[stillheroes]

Don't show them, they think it's weakness

[stillheroes]

Well, well, now i'm sitting here, depressed and stressed, while this should be the best time of my life

[stillheroes]

[stillheroes]

[stillheroes]

Once Heroes,

Still Heroes,

But In Silence

Motionless,

Yet Always Moving Forward

Free From Disturbance,

Subsiding Waves

Still And All Heroes

OnceHeroes, StillHeroes

[stillheroes]

OnceHeroes, StillHeroes

[stillheroes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[stillheroes]

The only people who can survive in this society are those who don't understand it.

[stillheroes]

[stillheroes]