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why aren’t all mugs microwave safe. grow up.

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tbh.. life really IS like the sims..

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19th century books will kill off a main character in one sentence and then spend 3 pages describing a street

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in my defence i'm stupid as hell your honor

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bitches be like *reconsume media from childhood to cope*

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me watching the olympics: where’s mario and sonic

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the internet should be funny animal pictures and thats it!

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Monster of Frankenstein by Mary Shelley: “Accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? God, in pity, made man beautiful and alluring, after his own image; but my form is a filthy type of yours, more horrid even from the very resemblance. Satan had his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him; but I am solitary and abhorred.”

Monster of Frankenstein in pop culture: (unintelligible moaning)

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Me reading academic papers: incoherent nonsense. Bullshit. I could write better than this in my sleep

Me writing academic papers: this sentence is 206 words long and contains 19 commas & a semicolon, fuck you

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Moonlight was shining through the bars on the window. And someone was goggling through the bars at him: a freckle-faced, red-haired, long-nosed someone.

Ron Weasley was outside Harry’s Window - CoS

bonus:

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y’all ever sit back and think about how ridiculous the foxhole court was? how over the top and wild it was? it’s easy to just go with the flow as you’re reading it but this book about an american college sports team had japanese mafia, explicit torture, murder, mutilation, drugs, and lacrosse-like games described in soap-opera dramatic detail. what a fucking trip

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Banter with the Lads, 1976

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Baby It’s Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse. 

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bonding over dead welsh kings

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The attraction to money is the purest form of love, untainted by the more unpleasant side-effects of human interaction such as communication. Have you ever tried fanning yourself with bank notes? Running your hands through a coffer full of coins? In the following essay I, Kaz Brekker, will argue that…