— Arthur Fleck in Joker (2019)
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when ur texting my friend cotter whom i love
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As you become older you become increasingly aware of your mortality. It’s a subconscious thing – I don’t think you wake up every day and go: ‘Fuck me, I’m dying, I’d better do something.’ I think early on the drive is just that people tell you you’re supposed to be driven, you’re supposed to do something by the time you’re 25; to have gone to college or got married, and then at some point your drive is just that you’re aware of your mortality. - Joaquin Phoenix
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people who arent punctual freak me out im so stressed. what do you mean the event starts at 6 and you’ll pick me up at 5:50 even though I live 20 minutes from the venue? what do you mean being 10 minutes late is “no big deal”? what if there’s no parking and nowhere to sit? what then? i need to be there at 5:45 just to be sure and you’re like Oh Whatever Dude... ARE YOU OKAY
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always second-guessing love
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Frits Thaulow (Norwegian, 1847 - 1906)
Swans, N/D
Colour etching, 51 x 61,3 cm
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Green and Gold by Inge Bovens
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having to be “mature” at a young age sucks bc you aren’t really “mature-mature” you’re a child playing at a maturity bc you don’t have the foundation to be the bigger person when conflict arrives so what you do is ignore it bc ignoring a problem and being happy about a resolution look the same to your inexperienced eyes. Then you get adults praising you for a development above your peers but you aren’t really developing. You’re stagnant. Your peers will grow up and experience things and make mistakes and grow from them but you will keep yourself in this box, ignoring things ignoring ignoring ignoring until one day you have to face the fact… it wasn’t maturity you had. It was fear. And now you’re an adult too and you make all of your choices based on an emotional risk/costs analysis bc you don’t know any emotion other than fear & you have to start healing from your own childhood by making peace that you weren’t really a mature child. You were just a child who was given too much to carry & didn’t know how to say “no”.
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Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)
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…the fleeting sweetness
of a glorious autumn or a setting sun.
Charles Baudelaire, tr. by Richard Kutner, from “Autumn Song,” c. 1861 (via vivienvalentino)
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