Hal / 21 / I'm a professional whore, amature slut, and a full time simp
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why does this give me female captain jack sparrow vibes first of all and second of all why am i aroused
#captain jack sparrow#johnny depp#well#im aroused now.#its the gay panic for me#hashtag pride month amirite
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Mr. Jorge Gutierrez is an inspiration, a trailblazer, a singularly visionary artist with an instantly recognizable style and I love him and admire him so much. But the family of the main character (girl on the left) in his new Netflix show “Maya y los tres” (”Maya and the Three” in English) looks like this:

and one of my special personal character design least favorite things is this god dang

HUGE DAD tiny dainty mom and look-alike dainty daughter animated family arrangement

and I am at my limit, sir. Mr. Gutierrez I love you and I’m going to watch this show but you are on thin ice my man

Hiccup isn’t a daughter but How To Train Your Dragon did this exact same thing and I was just as disappointed with that too. So he’s also invited to this post.
One day someone will do an animated family where the mom is huge and beefy and the dad is small and delicate, or the courageous daughter main character takes after Beef Dad much more than she takes after Dainty Mom, or some other kind of subversion, and on that day I will be healed. But today is not that day.
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Tumblr when Bezos' rocket malfunctions and vaporizes him

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It’s not a phase mom, I just want men who are older than me and big enough to snap me in half to rail me until I’m a crying overstimulated mess.
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Your Arab aren't you? Have you ever dated a terrorist
nah I’m not into white guys sry
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HQ Kinks
Should be obvious but NSFW below the cut
Daichi : Cop-Criminal. Fuzzy handcuffs, low-grade tazer for the bedroom, roadhead “If you aren’t quiet I’ll find another use for that mouth-“ ���Don’t talk with your mouth full~” Let’s be honest here he’s the one most likely to have a daddy kink
Sugawara : Doctor-or-Nurse/Patient, interchangeable, aphrodisiac medicine, lets be honest he’d look hot in a pink nurse dress, probably the most aware that orgasms are caused by indirect clitoral stimulation, most aware of the prostate’s play in orgasm – goes painfully slow, wanting to take his damn sweet time with this
Asahi : Food in the bedroom. Especially the kind that gets sticky and ends up needing a shower. But the shower’s purpose is usually defeated let’s be honest here. He’s a sucker for his significant other’s hips moving- Borderline worships his significant other’s body
Nishinoya : Loves it when you’re on the phone or in a skype call with your friends- Kitty-Owner play, always interchangeable, he likes to talk a lot in the bedroom, though- Likes leaving marks. Everywhere.
Tanaka : Exhibitionism. Way more daring than Nishinoya. We’re talking like at dinner and he drops a fork and is gone under the table for a good few minutes enjoying a different dinner, or slipping a hand under the table while you’re seated next to him, especially likes it on the train or in cafes. He almost finds more pleasure in watching your face than anything else
Yamaguchi : Dulled senses. Blindfold. Cuffs. Earmuffs. Almost never a gag because he wants to make sure his significant other is enjoying themselves. He’s a bit insecure so if you can’t hear him or see him he has literally nothing to worry about, but he is not at all opposed to having his own senses dulled and them showing their own affection for him- It probably would give him the confidence boost to move on to something else.
Tsukishima : He has a problem with verbal abuse in the bedroom and saying things in his most usually derogatory way. He tends to get insecure, feeling he went too far or hurt his significant other’s feeings- Is abusively rough when he’s had a bad day, and that’s actually when he’s most quiet Master-Slave Hair-pulling on either end
#Request for more#I'm lazy#first time im actually writing anything for this blog#technically this has been in my drafts for like 2 years lol#why am i like this#haikyuu#smut#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#nishinoya yuu#tanaka ryunosuke x reader#hq tanaka#hq tsukki#tsukki#hq asahi#sugawara koshi smut#hq daichi#imagine#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons
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college student!getou suguru is that black turtleneck-wearing smartass in the corner drinking ethically sourced, organic coffee, holding a battered copy of crime and punishment in his hand. he has a perpetual smirk on his face. his man-bun is flawless. always plays devil’s advocate during class debates. business major.
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[ 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐃𝐨 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐧 𝐀 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 ]
𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨:
- rests his head on the top of yours if you’re shorter than him, and on your chest/shoulder if your as tall/taller than him
- listens to your heartbeat when you’re laying in bed together
- always buys food he thinks you might like on his way home
- tries to call you when he knows you’re sitting down to eat since he cant be there a lot of the time but still wants to make sure you aren’t lonely
- steals bits of food off of your plate when you aren’t looking
𝐘𝐮��𝐢:
- calls you to tell you about something he thought about that he wanted to share with you. every. single. time.
- texts you good morning/good night at the exact same time every day with the same emojis every time
- writes down things he learns about you in his notebook page specially meant for that so he doesn’t forget things about you
- researches about things you talk about so he can have something else to have in common with you
- applies couple stereotypes to you both because he thinks its cute (like the friends to lovers trope or the chaotic dumbass duo thing)
- gets nervous and blushy when you compliment him
𝐒𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐧𝐚:
- uhhh he’s not really a “sweet” lover but here’s some anyway for the sake of it
- he’s VERY possessive so he’s almost always going to be near you or touching you
- gets defensive when you call him soft or sweet because he’s a tsundere lowkey
- steals gives you jewelry and other stuff as a way of marking you (uhm?? if you get a necklace with an s on it and wear it around proudly there’s absolutely no way he’s not going to fall even harder for you)
- gets EXTREMELY proud when you ask him for help either with something that’s hard to understand or with someone who’s bothering you
- lowkey acts like he doesn’t need your validation but always has something to prove when you ask him to do the smallest of tasks
- tells you stories about his triumphs and funny situations from like 500 years ago if you catch him in the right mood
- constantly bothers yuji to be around you because he’s clingy and can’t spend more than 3 hours without you without getting pissy (if he’s giving the group trouble their first instinct is to call you over and be like “y/n your man is acting up again”)
𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢:
- grazes his hands lovingly over places you’re insecure about because he’s not great with words
- buries you in snuggles after a long day because he needs it to ✨recharge✨
- passes you little notes under your dorm door when he’s feeling lonely
- has a blurry and kinda unflattering picture of you as his background on his phone and smiles a little when he sees it (he likes it because it’s a moment where he caught you at a natural state and it reminds him the most of being with you)
- steals little things from your room and puts it near him so it can remind him of you he’s lowkey starved for your presence akjdnfkdjfn
- calls you randomly to check in when he’s on missions because he’s anxious something happened and he didn’t know about it
- stutters when he compliments you
𝐍𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢:
- blushes at the smallest compliments you give him because he isn’t used to that sort of thing
- makes you breakfast every morning before he goes to work
- in fact, he cooks almost every meal the two of you eat because he needs someone to help him improve on his skills
- always bakes two loaves of bread because ya’ll end up eating one before you can use it for the rest of the week
- takes you to super fancy dinners and buys you a new outfit every time (also asks your opinion on the places so he can find a better place next time
- if you’re on the chubby side his hands are always going to find a way to your stomach pudge when you’re cuddling (he likes the squish don’t @ him)
- not really pertaining to him in particular but his family always asks about you when they call, regardless of what the call was for
𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨:
- pretends to flirt with you like he’s never met you before at bars because he finds it entertaining (if you reciprocate there’s a 99.9% chance you’re going to have a “one night stand” if you catch my drift)
- does typical “chivalrous” stuff like holding open doors for you, pulling out your chair when you sit, offering his coat when you’re cold, and buying you flowers every time he visits you (seriously EVERY time)
- lets you play with his hair and give him different hairstyles (don’t be surprised if he pulls up to a fight in space buns)
- gets aggravated when someone gets too friendly with you cause he’s ~possessive~
- always puts “my” in front of your nicknames like “my angel” or “my sweetheart” or “my girl/boy/darling”
- holds your hand while you’re shopping, walking, eating… or doing anything really he just likes physical contact
- stands at your door until you open it to talk to him after a fight (no seriously he’ll stand there for a week if he has to)
[-𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.-]
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[ 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ]
good evening girls and gays i dont know if you’ve seen this list i made but if i remember correctly someone either asked me to do more geto stuff or they said they liked it, but here’s more content for him because im down bad for the trash man 😩🙏✨
⚠️𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬⚠️ : explicit sexual content
Keep reading
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if anyone knows that one smut fic where Gojo and Nanami are roommates and Gojo cheats on his gf and Nanami ahem comforts her I would greatly appreciate it
it has reader and nanami making out on a balcony while he smokes/she drinks
#gojo#jjk gojo#nanami#kento nanami#jjk nanami#smut#fanfiction#someone help me please#kento x reader#nanami x reader#gojo x reader
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𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 : ᴄᴏᴄᴋᴡᴀʀᴍɪɴɢ
— includes : Bokuto, Hinata, Tendou
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 : 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘥𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘴𝘮, 𝘥𝘶𝘣𝘤𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘵
♡ this man is too pure, does it just to be close to you ♡ innocent and wholesome, that’s how it always starts anyways ♡ he promises he only has pure intentions when he approaches you ♡ “wanna be as close as we can” 🥺 ♡ he whines it out like a justifiable reason as he slides your panties to the side ♡ you want to believe him, you want to trust he’ll behave ♡ 100% does not behave though, honestly, this is your fault, you know better ♡ you know how quickly he comes undone buried in your tight, wet heat ♡ not that he cares though, he’s positively shameless ♡ he definitely wants to do it in a dark room with friends because he can ♡ gets off on the idea that he’s balls deep in you and no one in the room knows ♡ but you know better, so why the hell did you agree to this? ♡ oh, that’s right
- ♥ -
His strained gasp sounds off in your ear, shaky and stifled, caught in his throat as you clench around him. With his lips pressed to your ear, you are going absolutely insane with each subtle noise he makes, each stuttering breath from the way you affect him going straight to your cunt and making you soak around him.
Your muscles ache from the tension of trying to stay still, and the way his breath comes out ragged and unsteady let’s you know he’s in the same shape. Luckily, his labored breathing can’t be heard over the movie playing in front of you, and no one can see underneath the blanket, where your dress is hiked up to your waist, Bokuto’s shorts pushed down slightly, and every inch of his cock stuffed inside you. His hot breath on the back of your neck, the way his lips graze the shell of your ear, his taught chest and chiseled arms embracing you tightly, it is taking everything within you not to jerk your hips violently. You can tell by the way his heavy pants in your ear get louder, and his roaming hands become more grabby that your little ‘cuddling season’ is getting very dangerous very quickly.
You freeze when Bokuto moves slightly to adjust his position laying on the couch. At least, that’s what you hope it looked like from above the blanket, because beneath it, he just angled his hips to pull back an inch and then push forward, sighing deeply through his nose as he presses the head of his cock as far as it will go. You inhale sharply, wincing when it makes a louder noise than you wished for, then relaxing after a few moments of no one noticing. Only when his tip is hugged tightly to your cervix does he settle back into stillness. You want to turn and glare at him, but the lethal grip his biceps have around your waist keeps you stationary in his arms as his large palms roam your sides.
“Kou,” you whisper in a warning tone that he doesn’t register. He simply buries his face in your hair and hums happily in response, pleased that you are calling out to him. You look up to assess the potential risk around you. Atsumu is the most likely to notice first, as he is sitting on the couch right beside you, but he also seems the most distracted, idly chatting with Hinata during the movie. Ok, you figure, if you can just keep Bokuto in check, maybe you can keep from-
Your breath catches in your throat, thoughts interrupted, when bokuto’s hands suddenly slide underneath your shirt, palming your breasts. Teasing your nipples with his fingers, he pinches your sensitive buds, and whether it be involuntary or as revenge for his teasing, your hips jerk back into him, and your walls squeeze his cock tightly, something you immediately regret.
His head falls back and he sighs in pleasure a little too loudly.
A few of your friend’s eyes are now on you, specifically Atsumu’s, who’s staring hard at the two of you with rightful suspicion, before he says a phrase that you and Bokuto, unfortunately, know all too well.
“Hands check!” At the order of the blonde, you and Bokuto raise your hands from under the blanket to show that they aren’t up to anything nefarious, and your friends, satisfied, return their attention to the movie.
Thank god they didn’t ask y'all to stand up.
Some time passes and you start to get hopeful, Bokuto seemingly behaving himself as he lays still on the couch behind you. Your friends start to leave one by one, and you actually think for a moment that you'll get out of this scandalous situation with the entirety of your dignity intact. That is, until another guest exits, leaving only Atsumu and Sakusa left, and you feel sudden suspicion and dread at how your boyfriend starts glancing between them and the door. You are moments away from giving Bo a small reminder of patience when he opens his mouth to address the remaining guests.
“Okay guys, I’ll be completely honest, I’m balls deep in y/n right now and getting pretty into it, so, if you wouldn’t mind heading out!”
The small, lingering moment of silence after your boyfriend’s announcement rings loudly in your head, and you will yourself to be less aware of your friend’s deadpan stares.
“…Really, Bokuto? Really?” Atsumu’s jeers, and then starts laughing.
“Y/n, I’m sorry.” Sakusa regards you, apologizing on behalf of the two fools in the room.
“…It’s fine…“ You mumble from behind your hands, burning red with embarrassment.
You can just feel the beefy man behind you beam with excitement as he watches your friends stand and leave. He’s on you the second the door is closed, moaning lowly in your ear,
“M’fucking dying to finish what I started,”
♡ needs it for naps 🥺 ♡ this pretty boy isn’t often tuckered out, but when he is ♡ he still wants to be close to you sooo bad ♡ just needs to hold you and feel you wrapped around him ♡ so he’ll crawl into bed, pulling you into his grip ♡ burying his face in your hair and his cock in your cunt <3 ♡ and just, pass out like that ♡ heaven for him, sometimes inconvenient for you. ♡ don’t even think of trying to move though, this is his sacred time ♡ even if you could escape his beefy grip, ♡ he’s a light sleeper :) and grumpy when waken from naps :) ♡ oh, and he takes it real personally if you ruin his precious cockwarming naps
- ♥ -
You knew you should’ve said no… you’ve got groceries to get and a meeting to catch, but, when your tanned, beefy, exhausted-looking boyfriend walked through the door with heavy steps and spotted you on the couch with those tired hooded eyes, you just couldn’t resist what came next.
When he crawled over to you with that lazy smile, a husky “hey there, pretty puppy” falling from his lips, when he wraps his strong arms around your torso and pulls you in, and especially when he grinds lazily against your ass, moaning a few praises before pulling your panties to the side and stuffing himself inside. Every single time, he hums happily at the way you have to adjust, twitching and whimpering in his grip, before relaxing into his form, and every single time, he is asleep within moments.
A while later, you try to glance at the clock, your movements limited by the big spoon embrace he has you trapped in, and you just know it’s probably time to get up.
But… the soft hum of your boyfriend’s warm breath is on your neck, coming out in steady huffs, his nose nuzzled up to the skin behind your ear, and fuck. You thought you had stronger will power than this.
With his warm embrace, the way his heartbeat thuds rhythmically against your back, his taught chest rising and falling with his peaceful sleep… Honestly, nothing would have made you get out of this heavenly embrace, except maybe, the burden of responsibilities, or maybe the ache of your hips from being wrapped up with your knees toward your chest for so long. You try to shift your hips to a more comfortable angle, and he twitches inside of you, reminding you of how positively filled you are right now.
You huff, from sensation and frustration, and when the wall of muscle behind you doesn’t wake, you try your luck again. You push your legs against his thighs, trying to break free from the curled position his legs had pushed you in. You manage to free yourself some wiggle room, and you hopefully start to squirm your way out of his arms, when a sudden grip on your wrist catches your attention.
“What’re you doing?” His tired voice grumbles out, almost innocently, but you know better, you’ve been caught.
“I was… I have-“ You’re interrupted with your own gasp when he thrusts forward suddenly, pushing his now hardening cock deeper into you.
“You were what, baby? I thought you were being my cocksleeve,” he coos out the degradation with such dripping affection you almost feel guilty for waking him up from his nap. He leans in with a sigh, placing soft and sweet kisses on the skin of your neck, right below your jaw. “You’re so perfect as my little cocksleeve…”
“Shoyo,” You sigh in pleasure and relief, your eyes fluttering closed at his soft touches and warm praises, mistakenly taking his kind demeanor as a sign you were in the clear. You gasp in shock when he flips you over on your stomach in a mere moment.
“But, you woke me, so” He says, his sudden tone almost alarmingly dismissive as he sits up from you, leaving you whining at the loss of his warm chest on your back. He grips your hips in his large hands with vigor, “Now I have to punish you, okay?”
“S-Sho! Wait!” Your fingers grasp at the sheets as you tense. “Can’t,” is all he gives you, running a rough palm down your spine to squeeze your ass harshly.
“You’re my puppy, aren’t you? That means you’ll let me use you when I need you, right?”
♡ he does it to tease himself, and you ♡ can you tell this man is a masochist AND a sadist? ♡ can you tell this man has an orgasm denial kink AND an edging kink? ♡ ok anyways ♡ he’s fucking wild so he finds it hottest in really risky situations ♡ catch him pushing your skirt up and telling you to be quiet in the corner of a crowed train <3 ♡ or how about on the balcony of a crowded party? ♡ a sea of dancing people behind him, a night sky of city lights and passing cars in front of you ♡ he’ll hold you in place while spilling filth into your ears ♡ after all, as long as you stay still ♡ he just looks like a good caring boyfriend, hugging his girlfriend on the balcony <3
- ♥ -
Music and muffled voices pound dully through the glass of the closed balcony doors, colored lights flash in your periphery, mostly blocked by Tendou’s looming frame behind you as the cold wall of the balcony is pressed tight against your chest. Your fingers white-knuckle the railing in tight fists, attempting to ground yourself, as the painful stretch of your boyfriend’s cock threatens to do you in. He’s only halfway in you, and your head is spinning as he barely pushes more of himself inside.
Your hips jerk forward to escape the harsh stretch of his cock, but the tense tightness of your cunt won’t allow you any reprieve, only succeeding to suction him in tighter as you pull forward.
“S-Shit, you better stop fucking doing that, sweet girl.” His long fingers have a mean grip on your hips, your skirt bunched in his knuckles, and you can practically feel purple forming beneath his fingertips.
He waits for you to still and then sinks farther into you. You twitch again, and he reprimands you with a harsh warning squeeze to your thigh, leaving the flesh tender and aching.
“Better listen to me pretty thing, or I’ll have to pull out and leave you an empty mess on this balcony.”
“No! Satori, please,” you pant, the muscles of your thighs and ass trembling from trying not to push back into his agonizingly still hips.
His long, curved, perfect cock is slowly driving inch by inch into your wet heat, dragging his pronounced head against your sweet spot at a speed so slow you could choke.
You whine and grab desperately at his hands, the one on the railing and the one digging painfully into your hip.
“I said, stay still angel, or this whole party will see how fucking desperate you are for me,“ he moans lowly, voice deep and taunting, a stark contrast to the soft kiss he plants on your cheek. He fists the flesh of your hip harder, despite you keeping yours just as still as his, and you whimper.
"Don’t get us caught, and maybe I’ll give you what you want,” he practically growls in your ear, his killer grip on the balcony making the veins in his hands protrude. The throbbing of your bruised hip under his large grip and the dripping lust from his voice is too much, your knees shake and a deep, broken whine leaves your throat. Tendou shivers, releasing his hand on your side to wrap his strong arm across your waist, trapping you against him. He moans into your hair, deeply inhaling your scent.
“Fuck, unless, that’s what you want, huh? You just tightened around me, does getting caught stuffed full of my cock turn you on, slut?” He’s growling in your ear and you whimper, your head falling back to his shoulder, tender walls fluttering around his cock. He leans down and groans against the skin of your neck, taking the opportunity to trap you in a tighter hug against the balcony and finally push his cock into you to the hilt. His lips smile against the side of your throat as you gasp.
“That is what you want, isn’t it? You’re just a filthy fucking slut for me, aren’t you? My dirty little whore,” You quiver around him as he grunts in your ear, his aching cock twitching against your cervix.
You can tell by the way his voice shakes and grows huskier, and the way he tightens his arm around your waist, fingertips digging forcefully into your soft flesh, that he is just as weak and trembling with pleasure as you are.
“I should just fuck you right here on this balcony, shouldn’t I? Let everyone below us, everyone at this party see how good I fuck you, show them how hard I make you cum, yeah?” He’s practically panting in your ear, his cock painfully still, and painfully hard, straining in your tight, gummy walls.
“I’ll spread you open and show the whole world you’re mine, you want that?” His iron restraint has held up until now, his hips jutting forward in a moment of weakness, jolting you into the cold balcony and making you cry out his name.
“Yes, please! Tori! I’m yours!”
The pleased, sadistic chuckle that tumbles from his throat is low and vibrates you to your soaking core.
“That’s my fucking girl,”
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