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I'm gay they're gay and we're all severely depressed

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I think Victor Hugo was canonically a slut.

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thinking about a scenario shortly after defeating chuck, pre-empty rescue. dean is in full widower mode, collapsing under the weight of grief, and sam is, as usual, prodding at him to open up.

sam’s cornered him in the kitchen, where dean went for more whiskey, because alcohol is the only thing that drowns out the constant drumbeat of you could have had me, you idiot, you could have had me, running through his head.

and sam is saying “i know how you feel, dean, but—” and it’s suddenly too much. something in dean just snaps.

he turns, only halfway facing sam. “you know how i feel? you knew jess for a year and a half, sam. i had cas for twelve. and from what i remember, you didn’t want to talk to me about her back then either. so leave it.”

sam, who was about to say “we both lost a friend, i cared about cas too, and he wouldn’t want us to stop living our lives”, just freezes, mouth open in shock.

dean pushes past him out of the room, and after about five minutes of stunned silence, sam thinks to himself well, i guess that explains why the strip club didn’t work last time.

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“I’m the creator of a television show that gives hope and joy and inspiration to millions.” “Then who am I?” “You’re the star.”

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House would treat two gay patients like shit and get sued for being homophobic and cuddy would go "he's not homophobic, he treats everyone like that!" which does not hold up in court so instead he's like how can I be homophobic when I have a boyfriend? Wilson stand up. Everyone would turn to Wilson (who had ZERO warning about this) and he'd stutter before glaring at House and stand "yes, House is unfortunately my boyfriend"

Then they'd walk out of the courtroom and Wilson would chew him out which House ignores. Cue 3 days layer when Wilson says House needs to clear up they lied about being gay to get him off (ha) and they're not actually dating because he is NOT getting any dates like this. House would walk into the hospital cafeteria and yell "ATTENTION EVERYONE. Doctor Wilson is not my boyfriend." Wilson would nod for 2 seconds before House follows up with "because we're engaged!" and Wilson can't even be mad because why did he think for 2 seconds that House would make it easy for him

House would try to use this as an opportunity to demand less clinic hours (think of it as a wedding gift) which he does not get because Cuddy knows exactly what's going on and she thinks it's hilarious but she needs his ass working

Cuddy: yeah? You two are a thing? How big is he?

House: 5.3 inches

Wilson: how the FUCK do you know that

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What’s your opinion on dean saying “there is nothing past or present that i would put in front of you” in 8.23 because I often see people use it to not only downplay dean’s other relationships but also claim dean would choose sam over anything as if it’s an obsessive thing, when I feel like the series has time and time again, shown us that dean cares about doing the right thing while trying to keep his brother alive at the same time, I don’t get why it’s always an either/or with them. Because I guarantee if dean had to choose to kill either sam or any innocent person, he would either kill himself or find another way

Bronlies don't believe in love—just obsession and possessiveness. To them this is all a zero sum game and they're always jealous of anyone Dean pays attention to because they don't even get that Dean is theee endless wellspring of love to which everyone is drawn and around which the world orbits and that love is not a limited resource.

People get a lot of ideas in their heads about Dean choosing Sam over the greater good of the world, but then when you start trying to think of examples, you realize that Dean chose the safety of humanity more broadly over Sam plenty of times, and that Sam has killed innocent people (or gotten them killed pretty directly) to protect Dean many times. See: This post and this post for some examples. And also this post. And my whole #sam and human sacrifice tag.

I think it's kind of a weird flex to try and gloat over a scene where Sam threatens to kill himself over Dean having friends, resulting in a situation where Dean has to say whatever Sam wants to hear if he doesn't want his brother to kill himself. A scene that has a two-season long fall out that includes Dean getting The Brother Murderer Curse that symbolizes his many many resentments toward Sam. But regardless, I think there's a conversation about love and trust in that scene, and about Dean's very tenuous love for Sam as a friend but enduring love for Sam as a son and brother. The whole scene is heavily muddled with Dean's parentification, which makes it even less of a zero-sum game as far as Dean's other relationships.

Related posts on Dean's parentification (or see my whole #parentification tag):

This post with examples of Sam wanting Dean to be a brother and a parent in turns, and how the narrative perpetuates Dean's parentification

This post about season 8 Sam, including how Sam's behavior toward Dean reflects the parentification dynamic

This one about how parentification gives the illusion of authority and power without actual authority and power and this one

A part of Dean isn't forced to perceive Cas or Benny as his children, and that's a good thing. It makes his friendships with them less complicated, confusing, and muddled. Sam and Dean's relationship doesn't have that sort of clarity. There are times when Sam wants Dean to treat him as a respected and trusted friend, brother, and hunting partner, and there are times he wants Dean to be proud of him in a way he thinks John never was, and that's an experience that's confusing and distressing and unfair, but no less a reality born from their childhood experiences.

In the 8.23 scene, Sam talks about having let Dean down, and Dean trusting other people (read: Cas and Benny) to have his back more than he trusts Sam. It's a muddying of Sam's desire for Dean to trust him as an equal, friend, brother, and hunting partner with his desire for Dean to be proud of him like a dad, and results in a confused and jealous outburst about Dean having friends. At that particular point in time, Dean does trust Cas and Benny more than Sam. That's just the damn reality of things, and Dean isn't wrong for it. Sam isn't entitled to Dean's trust in 8.23. He just isn't. The lack of trust is brought about by the consequences of Sam's own repeated actions toward Dean. When Dean says that there's nothing past or present that he'd put in front of Sam, he isn't talking about trust. He's talking about the messed up pseudo momdad role he plays in Sam's life due to parentification in a scene where Sam most definitely casts himself as a child whose momdad is disappointed in him, who is about to kill himself over it. So Dean does what a parent would, and tells Sam that he'll always put his needs first—that a lack of trust isn't a lack of love. Dean even includes an example: Dean trusted Benny more (see: Southern Comfort), but when Sam was in danger, Dean begged Benny to risk his neck and return to Purgatory to help Sam get out. You put your kid first because that's your job and it's an ingrained need.

Dean has a long list of problems with Sam. He's had his own parentification used as a battering ram by Sam on tons of occasions. He's been lied to, condescended to, scapegoated, looked down upon, accused of everything in the book by Sam at one time or another. He's been abandoned, he's been betrayed, he's been strangled to near unconsciousness, he's had Sam put a gun to his head and pull the trigger multiple times in a row while telling Dean how useless and stupid he is. He's had his worst traumas thrown in his face and mocked. And all of those things put a strain on Dean's feelings toward Sam as a friend and as a hunting partner and make him doubt that Sam gives a damn about him, but the mix of brotherly (nature) and parental (nurture/neglect) love Dean feels for Sam is actually pretty unshakeable. So Dean leans into that in 8.23, at a time where his relationship with Sam is increasingly strained and they both know it, and Sam is breaking down about it.

It isn't about who Dean loves more. It's about different types of love, brotherly love mixed up with parental feelings Dean has toward Sam and that Sam has toward him, versus friendships built on battle-tested trust that Sam (in a very misguided way) sees as a threat because they represent relationships Dean chose instead of relationships that were thrust upon him and that are wrought with parentification in a tragic childhood. Your love for your kid isn't in competition with your love for your friends or a spouse it's a different kind of love and one does not diminish the other. At the same time, experience shows that Dean is actually willing to let Sam make the sacrifice play when needed—the biggest example being Swan Song. The Trials just weren't that sort of life or death situation. Not completing them meant maintaining the status quo, not an apocalypse.

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it's really annoying to have to hear about how supernatural was the worst thing to ever exist in the history of the world every time something gay does or does not happen on any other tv show. but especially when that tv show is objectively less good.

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rewatching supernatural is always fun because you see dean often have a pretty solid head on his shoulders even when dealing with justified anger and betrayals and grief and dismal apocalyptic circumstances

then on the flip, sam will just act like... the tallest pissiest little brother about events that are straight up his own fault (either by omission or by choice/action) and he'll go right ahead and exploit dean's caretaker tendency to self-blame and marinate in global, irrational guilt to be like "you caused this actually. i'm never the liability."

sammy. kiddo. bitch you might be.

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something something narrative fatalism (lil continuation of the hillhousenatural edit)

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hey this has been bouncing around my skull like a screen saver for like 3 weeks now

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It’s crazyyyyyyyy that for fifteen years supernatural looked directly at the camera and said. Dean Winchester wants things performatively the desires he expresses are calculated the likes and dislikes are honed not to be true but to match up with expectations he feels like he has to follow none of this comes naturally to him all of it is work all of it is done with intention to portray a persona and the persona is his marine father’s idea of masculinity. And when he DOES buck his persona for sincerity. It’s to like. Ask his mother to look at him and see him. Affirm to his father that his non traditional (homosexual and monstrous. Monstrous unrelated to the homosexuality) family unit IS a family and has as much worth to him as human wife Human kids has to his father. And to . And. To. Address the fact head on. No scoffing no brushing off no refuting. That he approximates his father. And he’s sorry about it. Because it hurts the people he loves. Like Dean Winchester has zero problem taking accountability for the world At Large and any misfortune that befalls anyone. But interpersonally he does not meaningfully interact with the idea that his reactions to grief and fear are fucked and cause undue strife and are. His fault. Because that would require a twofold takedown of his persona in that one it runs counter to it two it requires engaging on a real level with the persona. But he does this. After fifteen years of becoming someone who doesn’t do this under any circumstances. For castiel

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dean caught between the living and the dead invisible to sam and john screaming at both of them to listen to him and to see him. dean telling mary mom i need you to look at me and really see me. dean meeting cas for the first time and being stripped bare by cas’ gaze. cas staring right into his soul, unflinching, and loving him anyway

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dean should have tried to kiss cas to shut him up. dean should have immediately figured out what was going on and gone No shut UP and tried to make out with him to distract him out summoning the empty. and then cas should have shoved him against the wall, after putting his tongue down his throat ofc ofc, and put his hand over his mouth (lucifer rising parellels) so that he could grit the rest out furiously with tears in his eyes before dying. just imo of course of course

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crazy to me when ppl forget cas is Literally a jock. he has led multiple armies (teams) and he's mr. battle strategy (gameplays). he is thee quarterback. he is ruthless on the (battle)field. and every angel is obsessed with him either in a fangirl way or seething with jealousy. or they straight up fear him and fight flight fawn in his presence. thee only person who sees him as uwu soft dorky angel nerd is DEAN bc dean has pink heart-shaped glasses on at all times around him. and even then, he knows he's a badass soft dorky angel nerd.

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shal i was just binge-reading your complex john tag and i agree with how john would feel about cas if they got to meet, but i had to ask (sorry if you've talked about it before) how do you think cas would feel about john?

(also, i find it very funny that if you locked cas in a room with all four of the og winchesters he would trigger all of their daddy issues and make them all go crazy, he's just so dad-coded)

(also, i find it very funny that if you locked cas in a room with all four of the og winchesters he would trigger all of their daddy issues and make them all go crazy, he's just so dad-coded)

Your ABOVE is something I'd give my imaginary left nut for.

Yeah, it'd be allll good until Cas ups and leaves and triggers John's HENRY trauma, huh? OR CAS LIES AND TRIGGERS HIS MARY TRAUMA... I LOVE IT.

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ON THE WHOLE, I THINK Cas, for his part, would get along pretty decently with John, and he'd try his best to keep the peace. After all, despite John's complicatedness, this is a father who Sam and Dean BOTH love. Cas would inintally try his best to steer clear, kinda like he tried to steer clear with Mary.

BUT I do think that if John came back while Mary was alive, I think we'd likely see an unfridging of a lot of the positive, hopeful elements we saw in younger John. (He's like Sam in some ways! He's like Dean in other ways!)

That said, I think there's the potential for Cas to have to react to John picking at and cornering him, and I think Cas would try his best to "gray-rock" John like how he does with Lucifer. Cas, after all, tends to tolerate hot-and-cold people pretty darn well (Dean, Meg, Uriel, Lucifer, etc.)

Cas would do okay with that at first because he neither wants nor cares about John's approval. But I think the game of "testing" would eventually go too far, and it would end when Cas snaps at John or does a big show of inhuman strength. AFTER THAT... like how Sam's loss of temper engendered respect... so too does this get Cas on John's GOOD side.

And I think Cas would actually like the acknowledgement of his strength/capabilities if John were to give it TBH. Cas rarely has ppl who take his side OR give his efforts verbal credit, and John would be quick to commiserate with Cas as a "fellow soldier," especially if Cas happened to "be in the doghouse" for anything...

I think where we'd see the biggest schism between Cas and John is on the battlefield, where I can imagine Cas putting John in his place quite succinctly if he sees something he disagrees with.

And as far as Cas's blunt way of speaking, I just KNOW that Cas could and would hurt John's feelings, even if John tried to hide it. ((SEE: Cas hurt ARTHUR FUCKING KETCH'S feelings with his judgey disapproval of the way Ketch handles the mission in 14x09 LMFAO.))

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ASIDE// If we're talking extended daddy issues, though, I'm obsessed with the comment tag I got that Cas winds up liking Samuel C. better than John, and Samuel C. also likes Cas better than John, and both of those things John insane.

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ANYWAY, in short, I think Cas and John kinda get along, because Cas gets a lot of the "impossible situations" and the "holding up protectorship burdens."

And there's also the familiarity that probably feels disarmingly comforting because there are GOOD parts of John that remind Cas of Sam AND Dean.

Plus, it's important to remember that Cas gives a LOOOOT of leeway to humans when they're "bad/evil." I won't say he woobifies them, but he kinda sorta definitely a little bit does do that. (Even human Metatron, who friggin' KILLED Dean FFS.) Cas tends to see "human evil" thru a more pitiable lens, and I think John would definitely get the full benefit of Cas's "giving humans a pass."

(Especially since John's a crybaby. Cas is weak to that.)

ANYWAY, as far as getting along goes, this is also what I think would happy with Benny and Sam, if you care. Benny's personality is a lot harsher in canon than fanon, though fanon gives him something of a syrupy tone, I feel like Benny is more like Sam than even John is in a LOT of key ways, and I get the impression Benny'd get along with Sam like a house on fire eventually, maybe even better than Dean does.

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Dean: lol Cas is such a silly nerdy angel

Everyone else: dear god Castiel is heavenly wrath personified. He is filled with bloodlust and has killed more of his brethren than any angel who came before him. He can kill you before you even know you’re dead or he can torture you so effectively you forget your own name. He is the most deadliest soldier heaven has ever produced, even when his grace has been stripped from him and he is left as nothing but a human. Those who have tried to control him have paid dearly for their hubris. No one can keep him dead, not even God himself

Dean: lmao Cas come watch a cowboy movie with me in our matching cowboy hats

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His first real birthday