stubbornandgreen

[stubbornandgreen]

A quick draw, just a guy✨ happy rosh dayyy @roshanina

[stubbornandgreen]

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

[stubbornandgreen]

1. The First Time Dick Says It

Gotham Docks, 2 AM

A warehouse collapses, trapping Batman inside. The thermal scans show no life signs.

Tim, frantic “We need to call in the League! He’s gone—”

Dick, already digging through rubble: “He’s not.”

Jason: “Are you blind?! The scans—”

Dick, calm as a sniper: “If he were dead, my heart wouldn’t be beating.”

*Silence.*

Steph: “…That’s the creepiest thing you’ve ever said.”

Cass, nodding: “Truth.”*

Bruce crawls out of the wreckage 20 minutes later. Dick doesn’t even look surprised.

---

2. The First Time Bruce Says It

Blüdhaven, 3 AM

A bomb levels Dick’s apartment. Footage shows Nightwing’s mask in the debris.

Damian, voice shaking: “Grayson is… he’s—”

Bruce, sharpening a batarang: “He’s alive.”

Tim: “Bruce, the evidence—”

Bruce: “If he were dead, I’d feel it.”

*The Cave freezes.*

Jason: “Oh hell no. You’re both delusional—”

Alfred, sipping tea: “Master Dick *did* once sense Master Bruce’s appendicitis from three countries away.”

Dick calls an hour later, laughing: “Miss me?”

---

3. Jason’s Breaking Point

After a Joker gas attack “kills” Dick:

Jason: “Face it, old man. He’s *dead*.”

Bruce, not looking up from case files: “His pulse is steady. He’s undercover in Markovia.”

Jason: “*What the fuck* is wrong with you?!”

Dick, over comms: “Language, Jay. Also, hi.”

Jason chucks a smoke bomb at the Batcomputer.

---

4. Tim’s Scientific Meltdown

Tim rigs the Cave with biometric sensors to “study” their bond.

**Tim:** “Heart rates synced 98.7% of the time. Cortisol levels mirror each other. This isn’t love—it’s symbiosis!”

Dick, stealing his coffee: “Or we’re just *awesome*.”

Bruce, reviewing data: “…Fascinating.”

Tim: “NO. Not fascinating! This is clinically unhinged!”

---

5. Damian’s Reluctant Witness

Damian finds Dick mid-panic attack after Bruce is stabbed.

Dick, gasping: “He’s alive. He’s alive—”

Damian: “Father’s heart stopped for 37 seconds.”

Dick, fierce: “Then why am I still breathing?”

Damian stares. Later, he burns his “Grayson is Irritating” journal.

---

6. Steph’s Hilarious Take

Steph catches Dick humming while Bruce is “dead” (again).

Steph: “You’re weirdly cheery for a widow.”

Dick: “Check the news.”

Headline: BATMAN SAVES ORPHANAGE, STILL ALIVE, STILL HOT.

Steph: “You’re both the worst. Marry already.”

Dick: “Aw, you do care!”

---

7. Cass Sees the Truth

Cass watches Bruce and Dick fight back-to-back, movements mirrored.

Cass, signing: “One soul. Two bodies.”

Barbara: “Poetic. Also terrifying.”

Cass: Grins. *“Perfect.”*

---

8. The Family’s Final Verdict

*After the 12th “death” fakeout:*

Jason: “I’m adopting a dog. Dogs *stay dead*.”

Tim: “I’m writing a paper. The NIH will freak.”

Steph: “I’m selling merch. *‘I Survived the Bat-Bond’* tees.”

Damian: “I’m… *grateful*. Do not tell Grayson.”

Alfred: “I’m increasing the sedative dosage. For myself.”

---

Final Scene:

Bruce and Dick, bruised but alive, listen to the chaos from the Cave’s vents.

Dick: “Think they’ll ever get used to it?”

Bruce: “No.”

Dick: “Good.”

They fist-bump. Gotham sighs.

---

Post-Credits:

Jason’s dog “accidentally” destroys Tim’s biometric sensors. Cass frames Damian. Steph profits.

[stubbornandgreen]

When you just returned from three back-to-back lantern corps disasters but you got a league meeting 

Bonus:

When your bf(?) walks over and promptly falls asleep on you without thinking at the league meeting

[stubbornandgreen]

Dug up another old sketch for this guy's day. Still kinda fond of this one

[stubbornandgreen]

may i once again point out that jason todd was originally blonde

[stubbornandgreen]

Dick would be the jester to Bruce's King

[stubbornandgreen]

I don't know if this is a hot take? But there's something that bugs me about a lot of Batman performances: the dichotomy of his Bruce and Batman voices.

Now, hear me out. Batman absolutely should have a completely different voice from Bruce. Bruce is neurotic enough to develop two completely different idiolects for his identities. Anything to throw people off the scent, right?

However! Actors usually make the choice for Bruce to be the "natural" voice and Batman to be some sort of growling affectation. I personally think it would be better for Bruce to be the fake sounding voice and Batman to be his more natural speaking voice.

Imagine, Batman with a naturally deep and resonant voice that carries a lot of authority but very little emotion. Meanwhile, Bruce's voice is very Mid-Atlantic old money playboy with an almost breathy, ditzy quality. It's all emotion! No thoughts! Just enthusiasm and good natured smiles!

This is absolutely coming straight out of my "Bruce is neurodivergent" HC. A lot of us have a natural speaking voice that sounds off to others and a performative "public" voice that we've learned to use with people we don't know very well to put them more at ease. So, it's completely possible for Bruce's natural speaking voice to be a bit more flat and his words to be more fact based in a way that would make neurotypical people nervous. And, being Bruce, he would have absolutely studied other people's voice and behavior so that he could mimic it in public.

However, masking like that is very brain resource intensive, so it would have been an easy choice to drop that for Batman. This would also mean that in private, when it's just him and the family, he also uses the "Batman" voice because that's just what he sounds like when he's not trying.

This would also lead to hilarity when Bruce does crack jokes or tease people by intentionally using his Brucie voice when they're not expecting it. Like, imagine Batman, looking Flash straight in the eye as he shows up late to a team meeting FUCKING AGAIN, and saying, "You know, old chap, for The Fastest Man Alive, you certainly know how to take your dear sweet time." IMAGINE!

TLDR: Batman is the real voice and Bruce is fake and it kind of bugs me when actors do the opposite.

[stubbornandgreen]

"You never lied to me and you never demanded that I be anything I'm not," is such a fascinating and specific and actually significant accolade for Dick to give Bruce here. And also: "You gave me a lot of yourself." Idk they make me feel so many things

[stubbornandgreen]

I'm laaate, but HAPPY BISEXUAL VISIBILITY DAY ❤️ TAKE THE BRUDICKS GLOWING LIKE A BISEXUAL FLAG, FUCK YEAH

[stubbornandgreen]

[stubbornandgreen]

Batman gives each of his Robins a different code to use when they’re in trouble and need immediate extraction. He promises that when they call, he’ll drop everything just to get to them, come hell or high water.

Jason, during his time with the League, shares his code with Damian, to be used “only in the direst of circumstances, when you have exhausted all other options.” He doesn’t know if Bruce will answer, given how fractured their relationship was before he died, but it is better than nothing. Every tool counts when they live such dangerous lives.

Damian uses it exactly once, and Bruce, who still feels the loss of his son like a yawning chasm in his chest, responds to it even though he knows it can’t be Jason because Jason’s dead. What he finds, instead of Jason, is a boy in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-small feet, with a face that Bruce sees himself and Talia in, requesting asylum from a grandfather who wishes to possess his body. Bruce doesn’t question how this boy who is so clearly his son knew the code. Talia al Ghul is resourceful and places family above all; the code is not beyond her abilities to discover, and she is not above using Bruce’s desperate love for his dead son to ensure that hers does not meet the same fate.

Bruce takes Damian in, because of course he does, and since Jason is dead he allows Damian to keep using the code. After all, it’s not like Jason is alive to use it, right? If someone uses the code, there’s no one it could be but Damian, right?

The next time the code is used, Bruce traces the location to Gotham even though Damian was supposed to be in Bludhaven visiting Dick. But whatever happened that resulted in Damian being in Gotham can wait, because he has already failed one son and he will not fail another, his son is in trouble and he needs to get to him, he needs to—

What he finds, instead of Damian, is a boy (just eighteen, too young, but also too old, but also he will always be a boy to him) in League garbs, drenched in blood from the tips of his midnight-black hair to his too-large feet (when had he gotten so big), wearing the face of his dead son.

(Who, maybe, just maybe, may no longer be so dead.)

[stubbornandgreen]

coming out as a batlantern shipper

[stubbornandgreen]

And here we have Bruce just fucking hurling his son at people and using him as a shield, while in a bulletproof bodybag.Even telling him hes doing great as he throws him at an armed thug

[stubbornandgreen]

My perfect mashed potatoes

The secret is in the water; literally, it’s IN the water.

See, when you boil potatoes, a lot of special starches and sugars and stuff leeches out into the water. When you drain the water before mashing them, you throw away a lot of good stuff, which is a big part of what makes mashed potatoes “dry” and bland, even when you add large amounts of cream and butter and things.

So don’t throw out any water.

Here’s how you do that:

First, cut your potatoes into smaller cubes than you probably do. (I’ve left the skins on for flavor and also, that’s where a lot of a potato’s nutrients are, like protien and iron and vitamins B and C, just to name a few)

The reason for cutting them smaller (besides avoiding giant peices of skin) is so that there is less space in the pot between each peice for water to fill, so you use less water to cook them. That’s important because you won’t be draining any water, so you can’t afford to have too much water! For the same reason, just barely cover them with water when they go on the stove.

But! Before you do that, put the pot on the stove with some butter, garlic, and seasonings; let the butter start to sizxle just a little then put most of a single layer of potatoes in the pan and let the brown and sear. Turn them, brown them on all sides, get ‘em fairly dark (I forgot to get a pic here because I was worried I’d burn the butter).

Ready? now throw the rest of the potatoes in right on top, and add your water, give them a stir. This way, you’re boiling in some of that lovely fried potato/french fry flavor.

Okay, so, as they cook, you may need to add a little water, not too much! ideally the very highest piece of potato will be poking just above the surface. Now, when your potatoes are really really soft, mash them directly into the water. Just pull them off the stove, leave all the water in, and start mashing. Trust me. At first you’ll think there’s too much water. If you get them mashed and they ARE a little too liquidy, just put ‘em back on the stove. You’ll have to stir often or constantly, but they will steam off additional water without losing any good stuff.

Now add some salt, and taste. Right?! And you haven’t even put in any cream or cheese or anything yet.

Speaking of which, you can use like, a third of the amount of butter or cream or anything, and they will still taste better than usual. So they taste better AND they are higher in nutrients AND lower in fats and salts! That’s a lot of win — enjoy your potatoes!

Fuck Columbus! Indigenous Rights! And happy Thanksgiving!

[stubbornandgreen]

Commission for @talxns I had a lot of fun drawing them 💙🖤

[stubbornandgreen]

For my fanfic ^ - ^