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I should’ve been stopped…

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Social Relations program at its finest

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(   *   &.   –   MORE POPULAR TEXT POSTS.

‘  i’m a snack but everyone seems to be on a diet.  ’ ‘  i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)  ’ ‘  let me just flirt with you and be a brat and send you cute half nudes.  ’ ‘  blue-flavored candy is always the best flavor of candy like what the fuck. blue raspberries aren’t even a thing. we are literally eating the color blue as a flavor and it’s fucking magical.  ’ ‘  touch id is pissing me off. ‘try again’ the fuck? it’s me with a lil chicken grease.  ’ ‘  call me in the middle of the night and tell me you can’t sleep without me.  ’ ‘  healthy relationships with fathers? sounds fake.  ’ ‘  me to my alarm in the morning: i was literally sleeping but go off i guess.  ’ ‘  do i blame my zodiac sign or my childhood traumas or both  ’ ‘  *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* i cannot believe this asshole didn’t use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable.  ’ ‘  my specialty: the accidental 12 hour nap in broad daylight  ’ ‘  quiet little moans while making out is the hottest thing ever  ’ ‘  date somebody who will go on a road trip with you to see america’s 10 most haunted places  ’ ‘  any vampires who need permission to enter my house…. you have my permission… you wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog and wind?  you can do that… wanna drink my blood and take me away to your big vampire castle? alright friend, go for it  ’ ‘  i’m the guy from the lady and the tramp who gives stray dogs pasta and stands in an alleyway playing an accordion for them  ’ ‘  *nervously calls crush bro*  ’ ‘  i don’t have trust issues. i have ‘seen that shit happen before my own eyes’ issues.  ’ ‘  fuck summer. i want it to be dark and misty and frigid and october.  ’ ‘  concept: we are holding each other in bed, we look at each other and know that all that waiting all that distance was worth it to be close now  ’ ‘  i’m so lucky to have gotten to watch you grow so much this past year. i’m so proud of you.  ’ ‘  i’m so protective of me now, i’ll cut somebody off for simply having the wrong energy  ’ ‘  why are you trying to make me horny. bitch, you know i’m making macaroni.  ’ ‘  date a boy who curls up on your lap, even though he is 6’2" because he loves cuddles  ’ ‘  going out on a date is cool and all; but what about simply sharing a bed with someone, listening to music and discovering everything about one another, together.  ’ ‘  we are drunk and i ended up sitting on the bathroom counter with my legs wrapped around you, but when i wrote ‘marry me’ on your hand with a sharpie, i wasn’t joking.  ’ ‘  you’re equivalent to my favorite color. you’re the human version of what is safe.  ’ ‘  one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them.  ’ ‘  you think you want me to shut up? i have to listen to myself even when i’m not talking  ’ ‘  why would i fuck a demon? simple, the status. imagine rolling up into hell already havin had your back blown out by one of their own. imagine you and a gang of other losers standin at the gates of hell, they’re all crying, scared to death about having a pitchfork up their ass for eternity and you just walk into the arms of your sugar demon? legendary.  ’ ‘  i like wearing your clothes. they smell like you and your scent is home to me.  ’ ‘  *therapist voice* you are stupid and gay.  ’ ‘  i like to blame myself for everything just in case.  ’ ‘  the realist thing you can do for me is keep your word.  ’ ‘  love yourself enough to set boundaries. your time and energy are precious.  ’ ‘  i haven’t done anything but i sure could use a break.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone.  ’ ‘  who needs april fools. my entire life is a joke.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be near you, my heart misses you.  ’ ‘  i’m not trying my hardest but i’m very tired which i think should be taken into consideration.  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare.  ’ ‘  so what’s next? you heal. you grow. and you help others.  ’ ‘  my kink is not setting an alarm for the next morning.  ’ ‘  if you think i’m cute send me money.  ’ ‘  one day i will take a good selfie and you will be sorry….. you will all be sorry.  ’ ‘  not a day passes where i don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because i’m on the path to destroy my ego so i won’t be embarrassed anymore.  ’ ‘  there is no reason not to love with you whole heart.  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  sometimes you just gotta say fuck it and send that text.  ’ ‘  ‘i can see your nipples through that shirt’ first of all stop being ungrateful.  ’ ‘  so much is going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m tired leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ’ ‘  i heard you like bad girls. well i’m bad….. at everything.  ’ ‘  yes, i am fully aware that I’m The Worst™ but i still wanna be like……. loved and stuff.  ’ ‘  i really am, from the bottom of my heart, an actual fucking idiot.  ’ ‘  let me show you just how good i can be.  ’ ‘  i’m just tryna chill on a beach somewhere at 3 am.  ’ ‘  i have a serious weakness for thigh grabbing and hickeys.  ’ ‘  i’m a snail and god is salting me.  ’ ‘  i hate texting people who don’t use a billion emojis and a trillion exclamation points in their messages. just say you hate me and want me to die.  ’ ‘  being called baby?????? holding hands????!? being KISSED?!!!?!???????  ’ ‘  i hope your heart heals from all the damage it took over the years.  ’ ‘  my heart busts a nut every time someone tells me they saw something and they thought of me.  ’ ‘  i have hella heart eyes for you.  ’ ‘  you’re cute. i wanna kiss you for a whole hour.  ’ ‘  it’s pretty iconic to like yourself.  ’ ‘  i am so jealous of animals that get to hibernate, like what the fuck, why can’t i just sleep for four months and then return to real life.  ’ ‘  stop feeling sad and acting weird you bitch (the bitch is me)  ’ ‘  i’m still obsessed with you like it’s day one.  ’ ‘  to quote hamlet act iii scene iii line 92, ‘no’.  ’ ‘  i would have a cuter room if i wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor.  ’ ‘  on two hours of sleep i’m either way too happy or violently homicidal.  ’ ‘  let’s go on a date and by date i mean lay in bed and make out for three hours.  ’ ‘  alphabet soup. more like times new ramen am i right.  ’ ‘  tbh it’s okay if no one else thinks i’m funny because i think i’m a riot.  ’ ‘  catching feelings is bullshit. i’m just eating french fries, why i gotta think about kissing you? fuck you.  ’ ‘  smiling is so weird like you stretch your eating hole to show happiness.  ’ ‘  self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta.  ’ ‘  you didn’t go through all of that for nothing.  ’ ‘  get you a girl who loses her shit every time you send a selfie.  ’ ‘  i wish i could be there to take care of you right now.  ’ ‘  home is where the heart is and my heart has always belonged to you.  ’ ‘  i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash, and no responsibilities.  ’ ‘  ok but platonic forehead kisses.  ’ ‘  my heart is guarded but like… very poorly. the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an r-rated movie.  ’ ‘  what doesn’t kill me doesn’t kill me (unfortunately).  ’ ‘  do you ever look at a boy and wonder if he moans as pretty as he looks.  ’ ‘  life tip: if nothing goes right go to sleep.  ’ ‘  by cute do you mean you wanna frick frack or do you mean i look 12?  ’ ‘  cats are very pickupable and i think that was a really good choice on their part.  ’ ‘  don’t depend on anyone. handle your own shit.  ’ ‘  there isn’t one alternate reality where i didn’t fall in love with you.  ’ ‘  being my ex must be the worst thing. imagine losing me?  ’ ‘  if i say ‘backstreet’s back’ and you do not say ‘ALRIGHT!’ we’re not friends. burn in hell, you sick fuck.  ’ ‘  i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet. if there are any cats in outer space, i love them too.  ’ ‘  my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr.  ’ ‘  you know you’re fucked when their voice turns you on.  ’ ‘  don’t look at my fucking boner when we fight.  ’ ‘  not all heroes wear capes. a lot of them wear collars and are called dogs.  ’ ‘  it’s you. it will always be you.  ’ ‘  why do tattoos cost so much? i’m paying you to injure me.  ’ ‘  thank you for being the biggest light in my life and saving me from the darkness.  ’

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Fucking androids.

↳  send your detroit gif set requests here

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“Connor Model #313 248 317. I’m expected.”

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my last two brain cells interacting

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when connor does the thing™️ with his face

reblog if you agree

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Warmth. (Patrick Stump x Reader)

For: @onaheroicmission 

Request: Snuggling by the fire on a winter night. Very romantic much fluff please?

  REQUESTS ARE CLOSED.

  *

  “So Pete ate the last of our food,” Patrick mumbled into your shoulder as he re-joined you on the sofa by the fire, slinking under the woollen blanket.

“That little shit,” you laughed with a shake of your head. Curling closer into his chest, you sighed at the extra warmth.

Keep reading

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this was a coded transmission concealing information about the positions of american nuclear submarines

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Can You Please Fucking Reblog This if You Think A Guy and a Girl Can Go Out Together and it Not be Date

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Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet // Fall Out Boy

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The original picture of this is Rhythm Heaven.

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angel #patrickstump #falloutboy #fob (at South Side Ballroom)

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Just trying to prove a point

Reblog if Patrick Stump speaking any language that isn’t English (French, Spanish, Irish) melts your ovaries : )

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when she says she doesn’t send nudes

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Reblog if your icon

has big dick energy