stupendousfoxtrash

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Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

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It has been a long, hot day. And the world is on fire in general so I’m just not in a great headspace anyways. But yesterday was the first day of summer and it felt like up to 45 degrees in areas today. My air conditioner has just barely been able to maintain under 80. Looking forward to going to the office just because the air will be cranked there. (I know this is a very privileged whine, alas.)

Anyways, I cooked today. Despite the hot. Made my sweet potato… Burrito? Bowls. And the company BBQ is on Wednesday so I’ll have lunches all week. And the heat wave is not going to last forever.

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Just one? King Cone...no, Drum Stick, wait...Strawberry Shortcake, no...Chocolate Eclair...

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Did I share this picture already? Who knows. Finished the straps on the shirt and it means it’s not as finished as I’d thought. Which is okay, just good to know. Hopefully I have enough yarn. I’d like to finish it by the end of the month to try to get back on track with my project a month pace, not that it really matters.

The animals and I are in hiding with all the windows as closed as I can get them to try to avoid this ridiculous heat/ humidity wave. Really feeling a type of way about the decision to move into an apartment that doesn’t have central air. It will be fine of course. The unit we bought is doing enough, although still warmer than my preference. I’ve been spoiled living in basements for so long it was frequently TOO cold. Like running a heater in July cold, lol. Anyways I’m just rambling at this point. I think my original point was that it was hard to convince myself to do the meal prep I’d been planning to do when turning the oven / stove on for more than 30 seconds is not fun.

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You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter

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In hot / humid hell, but at least miss P is enjoying her sun spot.

Got a few more groceries this morning. Put the laundry away. I’m probably going to vacuum, maybe do some dishes. And then work on the tank top I’ve been knitting. I finished the straps but attached one of them in the wrong place so I need to redo that before continuing on the body.

And of course I need to eat at some point. I’d been planning on making sweet potato tacos for lunches but realized now I could probably just do the same but in a bowl. Not that it makes any real difference in how it gets cooked so anyways.

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people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

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sometimes writing feels like dragging your brain across gravel. but at least the gravel is sparkly. and covered in metaphors.

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do you ever just sit and realize how insane people have acted towards you

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I left work early again because I have a headache from hell. It’s very unfortunate because there is a lot of work I have to do and absolutely no focus capabilities. I think I need to stop drinking my energy drinks because they’re fucking with me (especially with the various adhd meds I’ve been trying). And normally I’d say it’s the only thing keeping me alive but my brain has been so much lately I don’t even know if it’s doing that. Of course it will mean withdrawal headaches. So maybe I’ll alternate every other day or something.

Anyways, just rambling again. Have a headache. It’s supposed to rain tonight. Definitely don’t want to play baseball but already said I would so. Really debating bailing completely, but I don’t want B to also bail so. We’ll see.

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I am Arran, god of the most important thing

EDIT: if y'all don’t wanna use your name use your username

[stupendousfoxtrash]

Went to one of the nieces’ soccer games tonight. Their team won and they each scored a goal or two.

Thought I had more to say, but I guess that’s it. Baseball tomorrow which I don’t really even want to play but trying to push through the (mental) discomfort. And then they’re going to have a bonfire at the trailer on Friday so I’ll be doing that probably.

Saturday the farmers market starts again in town and I’ll have to bring B to work if I want to keep the car for the day. Which I might not but… we’ll see I guess.

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wish $20 was $20 again.... it's literally $5. if ur fucking lucky

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i love you ciabatta i love you brioche i love you focaccia i love you challah i love you sourdough i love you rye i love you multigrain i love you bagel i love you pita i love you pretzel bun i love you baguette i love you english muffin i love you naan

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huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

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I got up and took Charlie to a new (to her) park. Didn’t make it very far because there’s a grated bridge she was too nervous to cross, but went as far as we could anyways. I think I’d brought Rolo here by accident once before. The parking lot is quite hidden in a rich part of town, so I don’t know why else it would seem familiar.

And now I’m sitting at the canal maybe boat watching? There are a lot of cars here so I assume that means there will be a ship coming by but I can’t actually see anything so perhaps not. At least it’s a nice night.

I had to cancel my next therapy session because $. She reached out to me to check on me and told her I just needed to settle which she understands. I’m conflicted anyways because I’m frustrated about talking about the same thing knowing I’m not going to follow through with anything. And at this point I feel like it’s been a decade of me being deeply unhappy in one way or another and being unable/ unwilling to actually fix it. The candle is burning at both ends and a secret other wick.