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subeautiful · 6 years

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Story time! (ALSO SPOILER ALERT!)

Jeremy and I started casually watching How I Met Your Mother (referred to as HIMYM from here on out) and while it was great from an entertainment standpoint and at some points from a feminist standpoint (bc Robin busts her ass working all these crazy jobs and decides she doesn't want kids long before she realizes she can't have them and Lily wrangles 3 kids a career and a man-child husband who likes to make major life changing decisions without consulting her), there was so much about it that was just violently problematic. Ted has NO SENSE of self-worth, like at all, in any way. He takes whatever jobs come his way and he takes whatever girls come his way - and it's not like there's a shortage of them! In 9 seasons Ted gets around A LOT (which is fine!! Consenting adults having a good time is FINE PEOPLE!) BUT it seems like every single one of his "friends" are in some way or another out to get him or using him and honestly, Robin's the worst. But I'll get to that in a second.

So, let's start with Lily and Marshall, who on several occasions decide to just barge into Ted's personal life and shake shit up because they think they know what's best for him - encouragement and talking to your friends is encouraged, of course, but planting fake jewelry to make Ted's girlfriends think he's cheating? Seriously? Or how about when they told Ted they didn't want to hear any more of his drama because they had a baby so he straight up stopped talking to them about his life because they made him feel like HE was drama. And then there's his super problematic parents who would rather lie to him and infantalize him than admit that he's a grown ass man with a grown ass life and can handle things like a divorce much better if it doesn't seem to come from literally nowhere. And Barney, despite seemingly being the only one who actually considers Ted's talents (like sign language) to be cool he still abuses the shit out of Ted with "The Bro Code" for nine straight seasons, then throws a hissy fit when Ted wants to move to Chicago.

And then there's Robin. It's not her fault that Ted hung onto her so tightly - except that it is. She wouldn't go away, wouldn't give him the space he needed to move on from her (REALLY MOVE ON) and even made a deal with him to marry each other as a back-up plan if all else fails. Like really?? Really girl? And even when she moves out of the apartment she has to leave one final reminder that she was there and she had his heart the whole time - she left the blue french horn sitting by the window. In fact it wasn't until Ted married Tracy that Robin finally left him the hell alone, and she was MARRIED to Barney.

And like, seriously, how often did they make Ted feel bad about his "Nerd" stuff? He could speak Italian for fucks sake, and the whole character list of HIMYM treated him like a joke. Youngest architect to build in the NYC Skyline and he's being yo-yo'd by his friends all the time no wonder he was looking for validation in women.