sunflowersanddaydreamsingreen - Tumblr blog

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Punch Nazis and anyone who defends them.

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reblog this and in the tags, write the band that comes to mind first when you think back to being 13 years old

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Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.

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you want my hot take for the evening? people who dont like complainers just havent been exposed to good complaining, and will never know if they themselves have an inborn talent for the art of kvetching

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There comes a time when you realize you do not miss your mother, instead you miss a mother. Someone gentle and warm, who comforts you. Someone, who only yells in excitement, not anger. Someone you know you can trust.

Someone, whose hugs feel safe, not terrifying.

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Loki understands rage about injustices. They understand the grief that comes, too. They understand that the Chaos that comes before the healing hurts. They know. They understand.

They will sit with you while you grieve. They will hold you while you heal.

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the corinthian is the world's longest AITA post

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Epic

"Love belongs to Desire, and Desire is always cruel" 🫀🫀

Credit: Mu Mu on Facebook

#RenewTheSandman

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Rest

It occurs to me that once the punches slow, maybe it’s time to catch my breath and to write again. I haven’t updated in forever. I forgot I had something to say. I forgot what I had to offer. That’s how it goes isn’t it? We forget who we are and our deities bring us back to our own heart time and time again — if I let them. (And I don’t always let them)

I may give an overview of what’s happened since I’ve not been updating, but right now I feel it’s so important to talk about rest. It’s winter here and in NE Ohio, that means dreary weather, no sun which means drastic drops in vitamin D, seasonal depression, grey skies during the day, and early night and late morning. I’m eager for spring, but it also occurs to me that maybe I’m not ready for spring.

Since Christmas Eve, there has been one breakthrough after another after another after another. I’m exhausted. Even healing is hard work. At the time, I was high on the spiritual experience. I was high on prayer and companionship with Spirit and my ka-tet. I knelt in prayer and wept and I stood and I felt better. Sometimes I would sit in the shower under the hot water and cry and pray. There was always an answer, and usually one I didn’t expect or one that caught me by surprise. It was the great purge, cleansing and packing the wound so it could heal and the healing has been coming in waves. And now, I’m tired.

The thing about any high, spiritual or otherwise, is that we have to come down eventually. I keep my head in the clouds, but it’s time for my feet to return to the ground. The last month may have revolutionized my heart and mind and spirit, but I still have to cook dinner, and go to work and doctor’s appointments, and pick my daughter up from school, and all of everyday life.

For the last week or so, I’ve felt like I’ve been doing something wrong. I didn’t feel the 24/7 spiritual connection, my prayer has been falling away, I don’t feel like I’m being propelled forward by some unseen hand. The answers aren’t strong and punchy and life-altering. They’re quiet now if they come, like whispers instead of screams. Well I assumed that was because I wasn’t listening hard enough. I was distracted. I wasn’t praying enough or praying wrong. What happened? Where did God go? Where did my deities go? What did I do wrong and how do I get it back? Sound familiar?

I was laying down wrapped up tight in a blanket the other day just paying attention to my breathing and thinking of the morning I had spent with my friend. We had tea and breakfast together and then prayed and meditated together and it was wonderful, the recalibration that I needed, but it still wasn’t *the same.* I hadn’t had any earth-shattering realizations, hadn’t cried in a while. I felt that my healing had stalled — then I realized… this was my chance to breathe. I had been begging the Universe for weeks to slow down and give me a chance to catch my breath and I’m usually given what I ask for. The problem is I don’t always recognize, acknowledge, or accept when it comes.

So perhaps I don’t need to pray in such a prescribed and structured way multiple times a day at set times, pouring my heart out with my face pressed to the ground right now. Maybe it’s enough for now to keep Spirit on my mind and say a prayer of thanks and ask for direction. Right now I don’t need to figure out who and what I am on this side of all this healing. I don’t need to plan my life, define my vision, implement strict spiritual routines, and generally be ON all the time. I asked for a chance to catch my breath, and here it is.

So I’m going with it, or doing my best. Rest takes practice just like anything else, especially in this American capitalist dystopian nightmare where we’re brainwashed into believing that we’re only of value when producing. Anything else is a waste of time, we’re taught. I’m a rebel though, so I take naps. I take bubble baths. I read for pleasure. I cuddle my wife and friends and just exist. Rest is a rebellious action, and somehow knowing that makes it a little easier to justify to my brain.

I haven’t given anything up. I’m still studying and praying and doing magic and lighting candles and all, but I’m doing it in such a more gentle way. Instead of trying to work myself into a perscribed structure, I let the patterns work themselves out around me. They’re still forming and falling into place. Some will stick and some won’t and that’s ok. I don’t need all of that to be “spiritually successful” whatever the fuck that means. If my deities and my God have not left me these last 33 years, they’re not going to leave me if I take a nap after work instead of praying.

I’m telling you, listening to your body is rebellious. If I’m tired, I sleep, so much as I am able. When I’m hungry, I eat. When I feel a little lost, I pray. When I need comfort, I ask for it. I make time to play. And I have faith. I have faith that my deities don’t have to be in my face in order to be present. I have faith that if I reach out to them at any time, that they will still be there. They aren’t going to leave me. In fact, at a time when I didn’t have to capacity to commit to my deities, Loki and Sigyn committed to me. Sigyn told me shortly after starting to work with them that there was no place I could go, no distance that I could run that they wouldn’t find me and bring me home. I needed that then, so so much, and I need it now in a different way. It gives me permission to take a break and just breathe.

I may drift a little off course, but I’m not going to fall off the edge of the world, back into the darkness and emptiness. I’m just — I’m floating. That’s what I’m doing. Ok let me explain that. My family camps at a nearby lake over the summer and we do a ton of swimming. There’s a bunch of little cousins splashing around in the water, some of the older cousins on the boat deck grilling and drinking beer, or sitting in the water gossiping. Now, I do love to swim, but I don’t breath well and I get tired easily. My *favorite* thing to do is to swim out a little ways from the group and lay on my back with my eyes closed and float on top of the water. Sometimes a small wave will wash over my face and I’ll sputter and stand up, but I wipe my face and go back to floating. On occasion, I have to come up to make sure I’m not drifting too far from the group, or far enough out that I can’t safely swim back. But I just love the peace of hearing the water and the birds and the laughter and feeling the sun over my body while I float on top of the water.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to take a break from the deep diving that wears me out so much and I’m going to take advantage of the dark, sleepy, dreary time and the snow and cold that drives us inside, and this time when nature is resting and waiting for green and sun again, and I’m going to float and rest and breathe and have faith that my deities will hold me in that safe place.

🙏🏻

Here is a poem I wrote in the shower last night

Prayer

This poem is a thank you.

Thank you, Spirit, for turning me upside down.

It’s easier to write about love now

than it is to write about fear,

easier to write about mending hearts

than old scars.

Everything I once held near

seems so far removed now,

flung out into the depths of the cosmos,

beyond the stars I still cannot dream of reaching for,

farther than the east is from the west.

It will never be fully gone,

but it doesn’t gut me

every time I take a step forward anymore.

Still, I forget to pause and thank you.

See, I’ve always loved circles.

I love how they have no beginning and no ending,

no corners to try to peer around in the dark,

no jagged edges to make me bleed.

Everything is laid out bare, right in front of me

over, and over, and over,

and over, and over,

and over again, so it’s no wonder

how I got trapped in them for 33 years.

I’m still running in some of those same old circles,

afraid to cut ties, because if I cut too many of my heartstrings

I may just unravel again

and I’m tired of surviving my own heartbreak.

I don’t know who I am anymore,

but I know this freedom is well worth

the uncertainty of identity.

Thank you for turning me inside out,

that is to say everything inside me

that I kept tucked away

is now on display for the world —

my face, my song, my stance, my poise,

my bright eyes and covered hair,

an open hand pouring out.

Everything that once shielded me

has been brought back inside for healing.

These brick walls have been disassembled.

I’m using the old stone to build bridges and platforms now.

This poem is the closest thing I have to a prayer, so thank you.

Thank you for holding my hands

while my beloved and I searched for the right words.

In church as a child,

they taught me to talk to God

like he was my best friend,

but I don’t know how when my best friend is a stranger

wearing 7.8 billion of their favorite masks

as we all fumble along to their music in the firelight.

This poem is the closest thing I have to a prayer,

so please, take it and take *me*.

I don’t know who or what I am anymore.

I’m okay with that most days,

but it means that I don’t know what to offer you

because I don’t know what I’m made of.

This is the closest thing I have to a prayer.

I know it’s really just a poem,

but at least we got a couple of the letters right.

So take it, and take me.

Wherever you’re going, I will follow.

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Sometimes, when our mental health affects our worship, we miss out on opportunities to learn from our deities. We also miss the guidance and help they can offer us. Take a deep breath and reach out your hand to them, even when you are anxious or depressed. They are patient, loving, and understanding. They have seen humanity at its worst and they never left us. Let them help you through these tough times. Believe me, it can make all the difference.

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The whole show is babyboy looking like he is about to cry in 2 seconds if you keep talking to him.

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Hob is like:

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@bipridemoth said XXth century Hob must be a virtuoso counterfeiter so ...

1930s Hob who has now assimilated the extent of the horror he's had a hand in by investing in the slave trade desperate to make reparation towards humanity + wanting to take actions Morpheus would be proud of him for after the disaster in which their last meeting ended + feeling a peculiar sympathy for jews by dint of being mistaken for one + he does not know whether it was for a greater purpose that higher entities granted him immortality but dammit if now isn't the time to find out = Hob who's been speaking German for literal centuries and easily passes as a native speaker moving to Germany to join the German resistance against nazism, and putting his falsifying skills towards sheltering and getting jews and queer people out of Germany ー and later occupied territories ー and to safety.

And 1960s-present days Hob joining the local queer liberation movement of wherever the need to keep his immortality a secret takes him and forging IDs for any trans folk in need of one he encounters, including cheeky 'gender = X' IDs before it was ever a possibility through traditional administration for non-binary people

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Something witches and other magic practitioners need to understand is that, for many folk practitioners, referring to what we do as witchcraft or calling us witches can actually be an insult.

In many, many regions witchcraft and witches had a negative connotation, and some still do. They were often seen as evil (partly due to Christian influences, partly because of the actions of said "witches" but that's a discussion for another time).

Folk magic, however, wasn't seen as witchcraft and in many places still isn't. Folk magic is more like culture and heritage; something the superstitious people practiced, for a variety of reasons. They were healers, midwives or just people who were "gifted"... and what titles they are called varies by region.

This isn't to say people can't call themselves folk witches today. That's fine. Still, be mindful of what you refer to as witchcraft or who you refer to as a witch.

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Loki reminds us that our grief is allowed to shake the world.

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This was for me

I want to offer you the gentlest reminder, that just because you don't feel connected to the Gods, or feel Them around you, it doesn't mean that They've abandoned you💖

It's especially hard to not feel abandoned when you're going through a really difficult time, and it feels like They're just not there. But for whatever its worth, I am positive that They wouldn't abandon someone in need. It's just really hard to feel like anyone is supporting you when you're in a dark place, or at least, that's my take.

I'm in that place myself, and it's really hard. So if you're there too, you're not alone🥰💕

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Order and Chaos: Loki and Odin as the primordial energies.✨

As a Völva once very wisely told me: Loki and Odin are two sides of the same coin.

Well, what I want to share is from the perspective of someone who loves to think a lot, a passionate pagan devotee of the great wolf Fenrir and the god of tricks and fire, Loki. Above all, I am also a student of health sciences, educated in genetics, astronautical sciences and neuroscience. Including the divine in my daily practices, especially watching in awe of science and seeing how the gods, of whatever pantheon, are so present with their magic, teachings and love.

I'm writing this with Loki's candle lit, it's extremely high and dancing a lot, releasing beautiful sparks, so I guess it's right and good *smiley face*.

Well, let's start.

Many lovers like me of mythology know that there has always been this dispute of "Odin is the good guy" and "Loki is the bad guy". Many of the myths were written after the arrival of Christianity to the Nordic countries, so as always, Christians wanted to screw up by leaving the god Odin as "God Almighty", Loki as "Satan" and Thor or even Balder, as "Jesus". I'm no expert on history honestly, but what I've read has at least taught me that.

Also the bad, awful, terrible and horrendous habit of Christianity to polarize everything, has left even the Jötnar, the giants, as evil energies or beings, when they are simply forces of chaos, and Thor as the brave protector of order. Loki as the generator of evil, catastrophes and chaos (ignoring that he was the one who gave the golden hair to Sif, his hammer to Thor, Frey his barc and Odin his spear, among others).

Leaving aside all that mythological talk, when I say that Loki and Odin are the primordial forces and that is not why they are positive and negative, I am talking about the fact that without chaos there is no order, and without order, there is chaos.

This includes his most recognized sons:

Thor represents the order that balances chaos. Fenrir represents the beginning of chaos to generate the end of a cycle. Jörmungandr represents cycles and even time itself. Hel represents the life and death of everything, from the dead to the galaxies themselves. Balder, however, represented that perfect order where nothing is wrong, which is even suspicious, that light so correct, that white color without any stain, that fabric without any wrinkle... It was so orderly perfect that it had to be destroyed by chaos itself, Loki.

From the perspective of a person of science and a pagan, I would like to make a list of things where I see the God Odin and the God Loki in nature. I want to clarify that this is not a scientific post, it is simply my personal experience and point of view:

Loki is the nuclear fusion within the stars that produces the heat and electromagnetic radiation necessary for the creation of matter and even life. Odin is the 75% Hydrogen and 24% Helium that is produced from this nuclear fusion within the core of the stars so that the universe is balanced and matter can exist.

Odin is gravity, that incredible force of attraction that allows matter to attract each other in a perfect way. Loki is the asteroids that collide against the planets, the black holes caused by the excess of gravity that absorb everything in their path like monsters, the collision between galaxies and the explosion of supernovae.

Loki is the animal, bacterium, creature that decided to leave its aquatic environment millions of years ago, breaking the status quo, to discover the terrestrial world. Odin is the right evolution. Loki is the new genetic code and Odin the one in charge of following it properly until another change must happen.