sunnbeem - Tumblr blog

[sunnbeem]

[sunnbeem]

LNT

It scares me that this world is but a mere dream. We worry about our minuscule day to day problems and forget the end goal. It's hard to imagine that I'll either spend all of eternity in some pristine palace up in heaven with Jesus sipping wine and talking about politics or spend it dancing with the devil himself. What if I don't want either?! I've come to love this world and it's imperfections and constant disappointments. The saddest thing is, I can't even fathom the concept of eternity. They say every good thing comes to an end. There is no end for eternity..... Gosh I'm lost.

[sunnbeem]

and in the end, we were all just humans.. drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness

baredrapture

(via baredrapture)

[sunnbeem]

[sunnbeem]

[sunnbeem]

Ummm YES

[sunnbeem]

Mind over body

I accept the fact that I am week, with the consolation that one day I will be stronger

[sunnbeem]

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it. 4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness  (via pigmenting)

[sunnbeem]

Tell me about it

[sunnbeem]

Aren't we all

[sunnbeem]

[sunnbeem]

My not so secret

In a sick way I congratulate people with anorexia. How do you not eat that cake when you're so hungry?! That kind of power struggle is what leads me to the bathroom after every meal. Not proud... But just hanging on to my idea of beautiful

[sunnbeem]

I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat. I want to eat. I don’t want to eat.

If my head could shut off, that would be great.

[sunnbeem]

[sunnbeem]

Then again thank God. Having a best friend you can fully be yourself with and do anything for her knowing she would do the same. And would love you no matter what obstacles came into sight is the BEST feeling in the world.

[sunnbeem]

Damn the way things turned out. Everyone is going down their separate paths. Happens.

It’s always sad when you come to the realization that your friend…

…is no longer your friend. And you reach out to try to fix things. But that connection isn’t there anymore.  They’ve gone forward, down a path you can’t pretent to keep up with for the sake of your friendship…

So you let them be. And suffer for it.

[sunnbeem]

They say we are the authors to our own stories. Be in mine will ya?