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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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creative writing practice no. 1: jul 12 2022
a prompt has been randomly generated for me, and i cannot change it once it has been received. word count goal: 300
today’s prompt: He opened the door to find her standing there, crying.
“Oh, Avery, I’m so glad you could make it,” she murmured as she fell heavy into her brother’s arms, the rough black nylon of her sleeves rubbing against the back of his neck. 
“Of course,” he replied gently, stroking his sisters back. “I wouldn’t miss this.”
Avery shut the screen door behind him with a creak and released himself from his sisters grasp. Gazing upwards, he met the eyes of the crowd of extended family that stood quietly before him in the living room of his childhood home. 
Everything looked as it had for as long as he had known, though this room had never been so full. Distant cousins sat on the burnt orange couch, awkwardly sipping glasses of water. Aunts and uncles spoke in hushed voices near the creaky staircase. Nieces and nephews could be heard playing loudly on their tablets, wiping their fingers of chip grease off onto their new black clothes.
His sister, much smaller in stature than he, strained her neck upwards to meet his face and tugged softly on the hems of his suit jacket. “Do you need anything?” asked Caroline, ever the anxious hostess. “Uh, no”, he replied, after a dry swallow. “I’m just going to wander.”
Pushing through the sunken crowd, flashing half smiles and softly spoken heys, hellos, and nice to see yous, he finally found himself alone on the back porch. It was unusually cold for an April afternoon, but the cloudiness complimented the occasion. A mournful sigh escaped from Avery’s chest, and he watched as his breath evaporated into the chilly air. And suddenly, before he could catch himself, the sigh became a lump caught in his throat, and finally erupted from his diaphragm into a single, angry sob. 
Holding his head in his hands, he felt his shoulders shake with grief, his cold palms cooling the hot emotion pouring uncontrollably out of his face. Eventually, the sobs disappeared into deep, labored breaths, and Avery lifted himself off the bench and shuffled over to the rails of the patio, resting his chest over top. He heard the sliding glass door open and shut behind him, but kept his gaze downward rather than behind him. 
A pair of black loafers tapped across the wooden planks, stopping parallel to Avery’s feet. A hot cup of coffee was placed with a clunk beside him, and a strong hand rested itself upon Avery’s hunched back. 
“It’s not fair, I know,” stated a croaky voice. “This really sucks. It does.”
Avery sucked cool air into his lungs before responding. "This isn’t what I thought my next trip home would be. I’d been keeping her birthday gift in the trunk of my car.”
“Yeah?” the voice replied kindly. “What did you get her?”
“That hand bag she’d been going on about. The orange one. I wrapped it and everything.”
“Wow, you wrapped it? That’s a first.”
“Well, 60 is a big number. I figured I would put some thought into it this year.”
Finally, the hand moved off of Avery’s back, but not before three heavy pats were struck lovingly against his jacket. “You’re a good kid, Avery. I’ll leave you out here, if you’d like.”
“Yeah”, Avery responded after clearing his throat of another lump. “I’ll meet you in there in a minute.”
“Alright,” said the voice, trailing off as the glass door scratched open. “Drink your coffee before it gets cold. It’s damn freezing out here.”
final word count: 573
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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blog post no. 1: feb 15 2022
i don’t think ive ever written a blog post before, but i guess thats fine since nobody follows this blog anyways. hell i don’t even follow this account on my main one yet. truly just speaking into the void here. 
i know i want this account to be a safe haven for all of my writing, especially since once i graduate im pretty sure i wont have access to my college google docs account. gotta stash the goods somewhere before they expire!
but beyond that i don’t really know what im doing. i really hope that i can figure out in time what i want this to be. i think im going to try and write something every day. kinda like a diary? but also like a notebook for poetry, and a drive for all my essays... hm. so i guess we’re back where we started? this is probably just gonna be a place for me to speak into the void for awhile.
and maybe i wont even actually blog every day? maybe somedays all ill want to do is write a short poem, or maybe one day ill get really inspired and write an essay to post here. whos to say.
im excited to see what this becomes. i kinda already have an idea in mind as to what i want this page to look like. i hope i can make it happen. 
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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love is something
When I was a kid,
Love was something
I could only observe.
And I would watch it
From under the crack of my doorframe
And wondered why
It looked like it hurt.
When I was fourteen,
Love was something
I thought I had all figured out.
It’s simple. Ask your parents
To drive you to the local diner,
Play with each other’s hair in class,
And for the Love of God,
Don’t you dare say no to him.
When I was twenty,
I met a brown-haired boy
Whose eyes can light up a room.
Whose laugh is audible addiction.
Whose fingertips gently caress
Every inch of this body I used to hate,
And softly wipe my stained face
After every ugly cry.
When I turn twenty-two,
By the Grace O' God,
Or Whoever the Hell Else, I
Know that I will have made it
Out of destructive love alive.
Gone shall be the days that I
Wake up afraid, and instead to the
Beloved brown haired boy
Warmly curled up beside me
(And maybe a few cats)
I have finally met Love. The Real Love.
And He doesn’t hurt,
And He doesn’t beg. He sits,
And He listens to every
Trivial complaint, holds me while I sob,
And gives me 100%, even on the
Days that I can barely muster 10.
It is a privilege to know Him.
It is to know peace to be with Him.
It is a magnificent life
When He is right beside me.
When He speaks those words,
I love you, I love you, I love you,
The gates of Heaven open,
And I am escorted right in.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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wistful wishes
each time you close the door behind you
i wish i would have kissed you longer
and listened to your gentle heartbeat
in our shared and peaceful slumber
and each time i lay without you
i reach out for your soft hands
wishing we could lace our fingers
like the words between bookstands
and each time you say goodnight to me
your voice seeping through the phone
i long for a kiss to follow the farewell
for my darling, you are home
but one day not too far from now,
i'll awake with you each morn,
and laugh as we fight to leave our bed
since our blanket is far too warm
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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Listening When There’s Not Much to Hear: Implementing Different Types of Listening in the Era of Coronavirus
Introduction
The horse hasn’t been beaten. It’s been run over several times. There really isn’t much else to say about the novel coronavirus that hasn’t already been said. However, there are times when there is something about the pandemic worth discussing. Study after study has been published by communication scholars discussing the difference in the ways we are communicating, but what is there to say about the new ways we are learning to listen? For the sake of this project, I will be discussing six different ways I have recently had to implement listening styles when talking to people during the era of coronavirus. Note that not all of these instances were done while social distancing-- some were in person without masks (like when I was at my parent’s house, and while on a date). While I will be discussing a few instances where I was not social distancing, I will also be putting more emphasis on moments where social distancing occurred as to note the difference it made on my listening skills. I will be writing about these six different instances of listening: listening to a podcast, a FaceTime call, a date, a time I needed to give advice, a time I needed to help a friend through a hard time, and speaking with my mother. 
Day 1: Silence
A day where I utilized silence as a listening strategy was on November 11, 2020. On that day, as a class, we listened to a podcast about not passing judgment. The episode of the podcast was entitled, “I cannot believe you did that! How behavior becomes judgment”, and was produced by Our Community Listens. The goal of this podcast was to offer listeners advice on verbal strategies to use when having a confrontation. 
Due to the circumstance of this being a podcast, the situation was one-sided. All I could do was listen in silence. I did all that I could in order to stay focused on the content of the episode. Mentally, I utilized another listening strategy. In my mind, I was taking what I heard and paraphrasing it in terms I could understand. 
In all honesty, I know that I could have listened better during this podcast. I should have been taking notes, but it was early in the morning, so while listening I was also making breakfast and brewing coffee. I could hear Dr. Varner’s voice jokingly scolding me while doing so because if there is one thing I have learned this year, it’s that there is no such thing as multitasking! That isn’t just Dr. Varner’s catchphrase, it really is a true phenomenon. Dr. Clifford Nass, a professor of communication at Standford University, once remarked in an interview, “People who multitask all the time can't filter out irrelevancy. They can't manage a working memory. They're chronically distracted. They initiate much larger parts of their brain that are irrelevant to the task at hand”. This rings true in this instance of silence. I’ll be honest, I honestly could not tell you more than the main idea of the podcast we listened to. I somehow convince myself each time I attempt to multitask that this will be the time I can do it for real. On November 11th, I was sure that I would be able to brew coffee, fry an egg, and listen to a podcast all at the same time. Not a chance. 
This instance and others like it have fully convinced me that it is time to stop even trying. I hate silence and will often try to fill dead air, even if it will cause a distraction. However, I now know that there is no such thing as effective silent listening if the world around me is not actually silent. 
Day 2: Acknowledgement
There are times when I joke, but in all honesty, my cousins and I are the outcasts of the family. We are a powerful trio, and my bond with the two of them are stronger than most of my other familial bonds. The three of us are all queer and are not often spoken to by the rest of the family. None of us truly mind, and we will make jokes about disliked family members often. My cousins live in New Jersey, and I haven’t seen either of them in person since 2018. Chances are, pandemic or not, we would probably still be as close as we are now and would still be using technology to communicate with one another. However, this pandemic has shut the three of us indoors, giving us a ton of free time to call each other on FaceTime. 
A friend of mine recently told me, while in the middle of a serious conversation, that I tend to only be able to have serious conversations. We were in the middle of discussing gender identity and what it means to be a man or a woman. I have never been told this before, but he was absolutely right. I consider myself to be quite stoic and serious most of the time. As such, whenever my cousins and I are on FaceTime with one another, we quickly delve into serious conversations. Since the three of us are also all queer, we typically have lively conversations about feminism, gender identities, and sexuality. Through these conversations, I will often use acknowledgment as a listening strategy. 
The last time the three of us were on a call was on December 5th, 2020. We talked well into the evening. Something worth noting is that and my cousin Maddison and I are in our 20’s, while our cousin Riley is only 16. As such, when having conversations about gender and sexuality, I will often try to water down things she doesn’t need to know while also giving her the best information possible that is appropriate for her age. Not to beat my own drum, but my cousin Riley sees me and Maddison as role models and often comes to us with questions. In our last FaceTime call, we got into a discussion about what it means to be non-binary. While it is important to me that I give Riley the best information possible, I attempt to be as clear and unbiased as possible as to not sway her any which way and as to not confuse her unnecessarily. As her older cousin, it is also vital to me that she knows she is being heard. A lot of the questions she asks me are questions I know she wouldn’t be able to ask anyone else in our family. As such, I often use the strategy of acknowledgment with her. I like to let her know that she is being heard and that her questions are valid and meaningful. When she says things that may be accidentally off-color, I am sure to correct her accordingly. To acknowledge her questions and comments accordingly, I often thank her for her contribution to the conversation and tell her that the questions she asks are always good ones. This can be modeled in this example: “Thank you for asking Riley, that’s a really good question. It’s important to me that you ask questions about gender like this. It means a lot to me that you are questioning things about your world while also being open to new information.”
Day 3: Door openers
What a world this one has become. I really can’t wait to see what happens once America catches up to maskless countries in terms of socialization. Being shut in for so long will definitely take a toll on the way we communicate. It is often still being said that large crowds and gatherings may be a thing of the past and that even concerts are “‘really unlikely to take place or to be allowed to take place’ for at least the next year or so”, says Kevin Loria of Consumer Reports, quoting William Moss, M.D. in an article about what socializing may look like once things begin to reopen. This past Sunday, December 6th, 2020, I went on my first date since March. Oh boy. I spare you the details, but I will say it did not go well. It was clear to me that the two of us had really forgotten how to socialize and what was socially acceptable. I noted that he was speaking with his mouth full, his shirt was buttoned incorrectly, and that his hair was not brushed. I noticed that it was incredibly difficult to make eye contact, that I was tripping over my words and mumbling often, and that I was playing with my hands and hair a lot. All the same...I pressed on and used door openers to the best of my ability. Door openers are a type of listening strategy that eggs the speaker on so that the listener can learn more. Again, I learned that I’m pretty rusty at this whole dating thing now, but I was sure to say things like “Tell me more”, “That’s really interesting”, and “Go on”. I’ve always considered myself to be better at listening than speaking myself, so I often utilize door openers in my conversations with other people. Maybe soon enough I’ll be able to implement them better once this “whole thing” is “over”.
Day 4: Open-ended questions
Relationships are hard, to put it lightly. Well, they can be hard, especially when one or more of the people involved don’t know how to communicate and listen. I have this friend who I love dearly, who has a boyfriend she loves dearly. I have known this friend of mine, Lilly, since our freshman year of college. I’d like to say I know her quite well. In saying that, I feel confident in my ability to meet her needs when she’s having a hard time. Recently, she confided in me that her boyfriend was going through a hard time and that they are currently “taking a break”. They have been together since January and the two of them are taking it pretty rough. On Wednesday, December 2nd, she and I had a lengthy phone conversation where I tried to talk her through some things. When Lilly goes through a rough time, I know that she typically builds a wall around herself and is only able to see things through tunnel vision. By asking her open-ended questions, I am able to help her break down those walls and see things differently. In fact, Dr. William Lane, an expert in special education and neurodiversity, published an article through Medium.com outlining the benefits of asking such questions. He says that it “encourages others’ thoughts and feelings to flow, allowing you to support this flow while gaining insight” (Lane). This is exactly what I attempted to do. I asked her questions such as “What actually led to him asking you to take a break?”, “What things does he have going on right now that might have contributed to this happening?”, and “How likely is it that you will get back together, in your opinion?”. By asking her these questions, I was able to understand how she was thinking and then give her a new perspective. I was able to say things such as “So you understand that taking this break has nothing to do with you as a person”, “He seems to be having a hard time right now, but he still wants to communicate with you”, and “It is evident that he loves you more than anyone he’s ever known, so I am sure that once he gets back on his feet your relationship will heal”. 
Day 5: Paraphrasing
I’m often told that I am “the therapist friend”. Is it exhausting?...yes. Do I allow it to happen to me?... I’m working on it. Anyways. 
My friend Tom and I are in very similar situations at the moment. Dating is hard and we are getting tired of it all. Both of us have been making attempts to “get back out there” with little to no luck. However, I have always considered myself to be very “self-aware”, so to speak. I often overanalyze situations until I reach a satisfactory conclusion. I was honestly upset that my date did not go too well the other day, considering that I honestly really liked the guy and thought he was cute. But when he turned me down, I immediately reminded myself that his rejection had nothing to do with me personally (or so I hope…) and that people are allowed to just not like me. After all, I don’t like everyone. 
My friend Tom, on the other hand, not so much. This past Saturday, December 5th, 2020, we had an important conversation. I honestly believe that he has something known as “rejection sensitive dysphoria”, which is defined by Noelle Matterson, an author and blogger for ADHD awareness, is when one “experiences extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception—real or imagined—of being [...] rejected, teased criticized, [or] a disappointment”. So, every single time Tom is rejected by a girl, he comes crying to me about it and often has the same narrative. “I guess I’ll never find anybody. It’s hopeless. I should just stop trying to date altogether”. Tom is also one of the few people with who I feel like I can be firm, which says a lot considering I’m never firm with anybody. Every time he gets like that, I try to paraphrase his words so that he can understand what he sounds like. Because I believe him to have RDS, it is no surprise to me that he has a hard time being rejected, but I do often try to talk him down from that ledge. I will mostly paraphrase so that I can be sure that he is telling me exactly what he’s feeling because I know that can be hard for him. So when he hits me with “If you just stop trying to find love, you’ll never be disappointed”, I come back with “So, are you saying that you are going to stop trying to find your soulmate, just because you were rejected?” And when he goes “Maybe I’m just awful and annoying”, I hit him back with “So, you believe yourself to have character flaws? What do you think you should do about them?”. If I am wrong in what I believe him to be saying, that forces him to rethink what he is saying and be more concise with me, ultimately leading him to say what he knows, rather than just what he feels. By paraphrasing his words, not only am I getting a better understanding of what he is trying to say, but he understands himself better as a result.
Day 6: Empathetic Listening
Sometimes I find myself in conversations I don’t want to have. A lot of the time, these conversations are with my mother. It isn’t that I hate these conversations, it is just that I often feel inept at telling her what I think she wants to hear. My mother was raised by a fantastic mother and a horrible father. Sadly, her mother died when my mom was still in her early 20’s, which ultimately lead my family to have to move in with my paternal grandfather. A lot of things have happened between my mother and my grandfather which I have learned more about as I have grown up. Now that I am her adult child, she feels safe and able to confide more in me. This happened often when I was staying with my parents for lockdown. 
My grandfather has tried to keep a stronghold on my mother’s emotions, even all these years later. While I was home with my parents this past summer, my grandfather called my mother up a few times to attempt verbal altercations with her. 
The thing that sucked the most about lockdown was the inability to leave the house. Our house is quite small, and everyone can hear anything anyone is doing at any time. As such, whenever my mother would be fighting with my grandfather, the whole house would hear it all. Once they were done, being the kind of person I am, I would attempt to listen to her with empathy. Our textbook defines empathetic listening as “the ability to be attentive to the speaker and give verbal and nonverbal feedback that encourages the speaker to communicate” (Stoltz et al 177). I know my mom pretty well, and this type of listening is exactly what she needs when she gets overwhelmed and angry. She’s a pretty huge venter, so I will typically leave the floor open for her to do so until she gives me nonverbal cues that she wants me to respond (such as sighing, looking up at me, or taking a deep breath). I would typically be more than happy to do this for her, but being locked in the house with her for two full seasons during lockdown was incredibly straining and exhausting. (This did not happen too often, however, and my mother is a fantastic mom. Lockdown was just hard on everybody.)
Conclusion
We will probably be facing coronavirus for longer than we’d like to admit. As such, it seems as though there will always be more to be said about it. It is worth noting that there are new developments in listening strategies emerging at a fast pace. The six different listening strategies outlined in this paper aim to prove that during the era of the coronavirus is still being utilized, even if there isn’t much to hear. We are learning how to reenter the world as we left it before the pandemic. We are relearning how to communicate and listen. We are using technology as an outlet for communication now more than ever before. We are finding ourselves stuck in places and being forced to listen to all the sounds within those walls that surround us. Even when it feels like there’s not anything left to listen to, we always seem to prevail and find something, or someone.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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for the young couple in apartment 312
there’s this young couple who lives next door to me. 
i mean young young. i mean, gave me a blank stare when i asked them if they had a corkscrew i could borrow young. haven’t acquired a taste for alcohol you don’t crack open or screw the top off of young. recycling bin sounds like the back of a “just married” car because of all the white claw cans in it young. once asked me for a tenner so they could buy some juul pods young. haven’t had the time to learn proper communication skills young. the only times they aren’t shouting at each other is when they’re busy having sex young. the only time i can take a nap is when at least one of them is at work young. i’m pretty sure i’ve heard a few dishes break young. her voice shouting through the drywall “you keep forgetting that i’m an entire person, and not some vague fucking concept that you dreamt up” young. i wonder if the hinges on their doors are okay young. neither of them are old enough to know it’s time to leave young. his voice rumbles, through heaving sobs, “just so you know, i loved all of you, and it was fucking exhausting” young. i saw the locksmith leave her apartment yesterday young. i hope they both learned something from all this-- 
i hope they aren’t too young.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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second semester, junior year
the highs are fantastic, but the lows are so low
     i'm afraid of what might happen if i let myself go
long island iced teas are a gateway, they say
     for falling asleep at a restaurant and waking up the next day
smoking helps me write, helps me think, helps me breathe
     so it's hard to think addiction is a “disease”
and this third raspberry white claw is so sugary sweet
     (though i’ve lost the balance in both of my feet)
but college is hard, so i need a vice
     to help me forget the missing assignments on my shattered device
maybe this summer the madness will end
     when all of my stress is replaced by my friends
though i’m drowning in post-its and missed calls and missed sleep
     i will work on my essays until i begin to count sheep
until then i will smoke and i will drink and i will eat
     because i will die before i succumb to defeat
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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the pretender
depressed? well, i suppose that’s one way to put it,
if by depressed you mean crying in a lousy dorm corridor, 
swiftly swaying back and forth to the fragmented rhythm of the music below you
knowing the girl you’re in love with hems and haws through intoxicating breath
and lips painted scarlet,
with the standoffish football star who has grown so accustomed to drowning himself
in wealthy baths of liquor tonight that he can hardly utter even an impression 
of a human being.
i wonder how old we have to be to finally stop seeing the ability to throw back fifteen
jello shots as a symbol of liveliness. 
regardless. tonight it is my reality, that the girl everyone only sees as “sexy”
will be rubbernecking happily (or whatever kids are calling it now) with a boy
i cannot imagine has even a shred of good intentions.
i’m not sure what i expected, given the circumstances. i knew from the start that
the stick-thin, bottle-blonde girl, with interestingly long eyelashes, could never fall
in love with a girl like me. or a girl at all, for that matter.
tomorrow morning i will flip through my book of performances to put on for her,
so that she never suspects a thing.
but tonight, i will sit in the stairwell until the moon begins moving into daybreak,
and muster the courage to put this parcel of flowers into the nearest garbage pail.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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Media: The Thickest Blue Line?
Abstract
2020 has, arguably, been a year of mass social change and/or upheaval; COVID-19 and the death of George Floyd have led to mass social unrest across the United States focused around, which have been expressed through protest that has been statistically proven to be majority peaceful. However, disproportionately, the protests (And more specifically, the organization Black Lives Matter) have been framed disproportionately by most media sources in a violent way, mainly removing context that law enforcement tends to provoke the protests that do become violent. The reason for this is, theoretically, because the owners of these media outlets, who tend to be right-wing, have vested interests towards law enforcement due to either ideological parallels or financial involvement in the surplus military equipment that law enforcement receives. (Additionally, because distressing subjects tend to be more popular in regards to ratings, which tends to be an objective of current-day media.) Because of this, while these news networks tend to be superficially supportive of the movements, most of the coverage tends to focus disproportionately on the violent acts committed by either the law enforcement present, or groups who tend to not be affiliated with the protesters. (Leading most to assume that the protests are mainly violent, because most tend not to have the knowledge to accurately interpret the data that provides a counternarrative to the media’s portrayal of the protests. Ultimately, this leads to further damage of social justice advocacy in the present day and salts the earth for future movements seeking to correct injustices they perceive in society. Keywords:  media, police, politics, police brutality, law enforcement, Black Lives Matter, activism, media advocacy
Introduction
2020 has brought to light the disparities in American media coverage. Many news stations have reported on the violent riots that happen during activist protests. While we do not argue that those riots happened, they were performed by a very small portion of the activist groups, or by people who posed as activist members. During these riots, extreme measures were used by police to silence the riots which led to peaceful protests also being confronted by police brutality. Unfortunately, the American media seemed to cover the riots extensively, and would relatively ignore the aggressive and over-the-top measures used to silence the protestors. We would like to illuminate these disparities by researching the media coverage of multiple activist groups. Our main question of interest is: how does the ownership of media by conservative figures, with a vested interest in police funding and culture, skew portrayal of activist groups by framing the violent acts committed by a minority into being the responsibility of the whole group (BLM, NAACP, etc) and portrayed as the norm? 
We plan to research this question through qualitative measures.  Our reasoning for this is an emphasis on seeking trends within communities affected by police brutality, and/or people whose perceptions of these activist groups have been altered by how they are portrayed by the media; these require deep, comprehensive dives into personalities and life experiences of the people. Essentially, knowing already who owns the media that people consume and their vested financial and ideological beliefs, we intend to figure out the changed perceptions of not only people who have experienced the actual act of protesting and its consequences but those who have only experienced these groups through their presentation in media and through discourse from those who have consumed and disseminated that media in their place. We currently have two variables we would like to look into, the independent variable being the American public’s exposure to media outlets with a bias against activist groups, and the dependent variable being the American public’s approval of said activist groups. 
We hypothesize that if there is greater exposure through media outlets with a bias against activism, then there will be a rising public distrust in those same activism groups. Through our research, we expect to find that the American media tends to passively demonize peaceful activist groups and ignore the violent acts of the collective police force to silence these activist groups. 
Literature Review
Campbell, F., & Valera, P. (2020). “The Only Thing New is the Cameras”: A Study of U.S. 
College Students’ Perceptions of Police Violence on Social Media. Journal of Black 
Studies, 51(7), 654-670. 10.1177/0021934720935600
East-coast based scholars Felicia Campbell and Pamela Valera worked together to conduct a study exploring how the sudden influx of police brutality videos circulating online affect college students (mostly) of color. The 134 students, with a range in both socioeconomic backgrounds and types of universities attended (either public or private), were given a questionnaire. It was given to understand how they engaged with videos depicting police brutality, their reactions towards the videos, their encounters with police officers in real life, and their perceptions of police violence.  They found that 1. Social media is one of the main ways to learn about incidences of police violence 2. Students displayed signs of post-traumatic stress disorder following the viewing of the videos, and 3. The student’s race played a role in how they viewed and thought about the videos. 
Ciaramella, C.J. (2020, November). THE FEDS INVADE PORTLAND. Reason, 52(6), 
19-19
C.J. Ciaramella, a reporter for the libertarian magazine Reason, reported on the riots and protests happening in Portland, Oregon, while they were at their peak. And unfortunately, “peak” is to say “when the police were literally throwing protesters into unmarked vans”. Ciaramella reported on what she saw through videos and news reports-- things such as officers shooting a man in the head and fracturing his skull, federal agents kidnapping protesters, and accounts of members of the Trump administration to “get used to this”. 
When attempting to show how the media demonizes peaceful protesters, of course, we are going to have to also show why they got it all wrong. We need evidence to show that the police and federal agents attending protests are far more dangerous than your average protester. This magazine article illustrates just that. 
Cunningham, M. (2020). Police, Violence, and Data: The Black Lives Matter Movement. 
Carnegie Mellon University Heinz College. https://www.heinz.cmu.edu/media/2017/january/police-violence-data
Professor Daniel Nagin, a well-awarded scholar, was asked by Cunningham for an interview on the recent violent events. Some of the questions include why there is so much distrust between the American citizens and law enforcement, and what are the possible ways this could be mended. Professor Nagin respectfully answers the questions he is asked about the growth of the Black Lives Matter movement, police brutality against minority groups, and why there is not a solid answer on whether or not minority groups are disproportionately attacked with lethal violence. He goes on to talk about the need for more accurate data collection and the need for implicit bias training. 
Ernest B. McGowen & Kristin N. Wylie (2020) Racialized differences in perceptions of and 
emotional responses to police killings of unarmed African Americans, Politics, 
Groups, and Identities, 8:2, 396-406, DOI: 10.1080/21565503.2020.1757805
McGowen and Wylie write for the argument that we do not live in a post-racial America and that the deep racial divide is mediated by emotion and media.  Widespread attention to, and mobilization against, police killings of unarmed African Americans shatter any lingering myths of a post-racial America. We argue that the entrenched racial divide in the lived experiences and perceptions of whites and African Americans is mediated by emotions. The experiment looks at emotions that influence the perception of emotion in the observance of stories on police-involved shootings from whites and African Americans.  The race of the victim of a police-involved shooting and the criminality or lack thereof, of the victim.  The study shows how identity correlates with emotion and politics and the effect on race issues at present. KEYWORDS: Race, police killings, political psychology, emotions, experiments, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin, racialization.
Fridkin, K., Wintersieck, A., Courey, J., & Thompson, J. (2017). Race and Police Brutality: 
The importance of Media Framing. International Journal of Communication, 11, 
3394-3414. https://ijoc.org/index.php/ijoc/article/viewFile/6950/2117
In this article, the authors take one violent incident involving a white police officer and a black woman and analyze every news article coverage of it over three months. During this time, they found that the media mainly used three different frames to give the information to the public: police brutality, law and order, and race. The authors found that by changing the framing of the incident, more or less support was given to the police officer or the woman. Overall, the media coverage drastically changed the public’s perception of the incident as well as who was at fault. 
Hands, Joss. (2015, November 20). @ is for Activism: Dissent, Resistance and Rebellion in    
a Digital Culture. Pluto Press
Joss Hands brings attention and poses the relevant questions as they relate to the effects that digital media affects politics and activism ve politics and activism.  What are the lingering and long term implications of mobile access, online social networks, smart devices, and digital TV?  While the information highway can reach the masses and transport us to information with ease of access and in real-time, it is also clogged and sometimes snarled with disinformation and traffic noise.  With these new technologies and apps, the @ has been used to propel activism to our fingertips for an immediate rallying cry for revolution.  This text is written to understand the structure of capitalism and the effects of technology as it relates directly to politics, social justice, and activism.  For all of the accolades and successful uses of technology to rally the masses, there are inherent slippery slopes and dangers in using the @ to acquire influence and rally the masses. To what degree has the technological environment shaped or misshaped politics and activism.  
Hanitzsch, T., & Berganza, R. (2012, October). Explaining Journalists’ Trust in Public 
Institutions Across 20 Countries: Media Freedom, Corruption, and Ownership 
Matter Most. Journal of communication. Wiley Subscription Services, Inc. 
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2012.01663.x
Hanitszich conducts interviews with 2000 journalists from 20 countries using qualitative data methods to determine the effect of public approval/disapproval by the influence of media and public institutions.  Specifically looking at public institutions, he questions whether public institutions can be used as an indicator for the voracity of journalistic outlet reporting. The prominent eyebrow to raise to these is that these samples have an inherent bias, being that the sample was built entirely out of journalists, who have built their entire images around what’s written on the tin. So, it should be noted whether or not the journalist’s opinion should be scrutinized in the interpretation of the data.
Hertel-Fernandez, A., Skocpol, T., & Sclar, J. (2018, October). When Political 
Mega-Donors Join Forces: How the Koch Network and the Democracy Alliance 
Influence Organized U.S. Politics on the Right and Left. Studies in American 
political development. Cambridge University Press. 
https://doi.org/10.1017/S0898588X18000081
Hertel-Fernandez and their co-writers discuss, primarily, the right-wing network of media that the Koch Brothers have established that allows them to express their beliefs, as well as the left-wing-funded Democracy Alliance; both of which are funded by big money from various politically-aligned interest groups, and both incredibly influential to the current political and media-based landscape, as well as to the average American citizen.
Johnson, S. (2020, June). For all to see: Black death and trauma on display in America. 
New York Amsterdam News, p4-31.
Stephon Johnson, a writer for the African American newspaper New York Amsterdam News, outlines the untimely deaths of black people throughout history for things that were either non-violent or didn’t have anything to do with them in the first place. He talks about George Stinney Jr., the youngest person in American history to ever be executed, Breonna Taylor, the young woman shot to death while asleep in her own home, and Rayshard Brooks, who, in a justified act of fear, attempted to run away from police officers and was shot in the back, and subsequently died in a Wendy’s parking lot. He goes on to write about how black activist groups have been fighting for decades to scale back the power of police and to flow more money into different agencies to aid in crises. 
Kilgo, M. (2019). Media Effects And Marginalized Ideas: Relationships Among Media        
Consumption And Support For Black Lives Matter. International Journal Of 
Communication (Online), 4287–.
This source looks at a survey that was used to examine the effects of media coverage and the Black Live Matter Movement.  The panel survey was developed from previous research and analysis of the subject matter.  The results demonstrate the negative view of Black Lives Matter as cultivated by the conservative news media.  The consumption of liberal and mainstream news media feeds an increase in negative perceptions of the BLM movement.  Thus proving that those media outlets do nothing to shed a more positive view on the Black Lives Matter agenda.
Krieger, N. (2020, November 1). ENOUGH: COVID-19, Structural Racism, Police 
Brutality, Plutocracy, Climate Change—and Time for Health Justice, Democratic Governance, and an Equitable, Sustainable Future. American journal of public health (1971). American Public Health Association. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2020.305886
In this article, Kreiger discusses how 2020 has been a pivotal, watershed moment for several causes amongst the activist sphere—chiefly; COVID-19 has enabled a series of vulnerabilities in not only our medical infrastructure but how we as people are affecting the world we inhabit as well as the society that surrounds us. The primary cruxes are police injustice (And how it disproportionately affects people of color) and climate change, which, while not entirely intertwined, have several connected strings. Kreiger’s article discusses whether or not there is sufficient awareness of these types of social justice and environmental awareness campaigns to justify their outcomes, as well as the amount of concerted conservative effort to put denial to the mere existence of these problems. Overall, the statistics used can correlate the information regarding these causes and their relevance to justice’s overall message.
Lawrence, R. G. (2000). The politics of force : Media and the construction of police 
brutality. ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com
In 2000, political scientist Regina G. Lawrence published a 167-page book entitled “The Politics Of Force: Media And The Construction Of Police Brutality”. The first chapter of this book, entitled “The Social Construction of Problems in the Media Arena”, outlines the unjust deaths of three men, named Nathaniel Levi Gaines, William Retana, and Louis Segura, who all passed due to violent encounters with police. None of the three men in question ever did anything to justify the use of deadly force. Lawrence goes on to explain in this chapter the idea that [there are] “struggles among competing groups to define the meaning of news events and the news narratives about public problems that result from these struggles” (Lawrence 3). 
Mitchell, A., Gottfried, J., Kiley, J., & Matsa, K. E. (2014, October 21). Political 
Polarization & Media Habits. Pew Research Center: Journalism & Media. https://www.journalism.org/2014/10/21/political-polarization-media-habits/
A Pew Research study found that conservatives and liberals have very little overlap in their news sources and tend to only converse politically with those who have like-minded views. The study found that those on the far sides of the spectrum, only about twenty percent of Americans, have a larger impact on politics than those with mixed views. Conservatives tend to have large media loyalty to Fox News, while liberals tend to not have a specific media loyalty and tend to listen to many news sources. Liberals tend to trust many sources, while conservatives tend to trust very few. This study also shows a diagram of multiple news sources and the ideological leanings of their audiences. 
MOGELSON, L. (2020). We Go Where They Go. New Yorker, 96(34), 40–53.
Luke Mogelson, an author for the New York Times, writes an article outlining the events of September 26th, where hundreds of self-proclaimed “anti-fascists” had gathered to protest the fact that the police of Portland will protect the assembly rights of far-right extremist hate groups, but are trigger happy with the tear gas and rubber bullets when “groups” like “Antifa” try to protest inequality and injustice. Mogelson also outlines the way that the former President of the United States, Donald Trump, makes verbal attacks on “Antifa”, calling them an extremist hate group and domestic terrorists. The way that former President Trump talks about leftist activist groups helps instill a hatred of them, allowing far-right ideologies to continue to spread.
This article from the New Yorker might be the most helpful source I found. It perfectly describes how leftist activist groups are demonized by people like Trump and outlets in the media while allowing genuine domestic terrorist groups to run rampant. 
Nygaard, S. (2020, April 25). Boundary Work: Intermedia Agenda-Setting Between 
Right-Wing Alternative Media and Professional Journalism. Journalism Studies 
(London, England). Routledge. https://doi.org/10.1080/1461670X.2020.1722731
Nygaard uses quantitative content analysis within a European context and discussion to discuss how, between media platforms and mediums, right-wing figures use media to give attention to not only demonize their enemies but also cross-pollinate by gathering attention to each other and thus uplifting each other in terms of views and content engagement. Additionally, their purpose is primarily to run interference on what is seen as mainstream; questioning journalistic integrity, and feed resentment towards both immigrants and those same journalists to take advantage of their rhetoric to slip into the mainstream without being seen as legitimate. The main limitation is that this study is focused on a European context, rather than a pan-American one, as well as a deliberate focus on immigrants; however, that said, there is a stronger connection within the attempts to delegitimize the media and a strong cross-national dimension; the research is sound, and should be considered for implementation.
Sawyer, J., & Gampa, A. (2018, March 13). Implicit and Explicit Racial Attitudes Changed 
During Black Lives Matter. Personality & social psychology bulletin. Sage 
Publications, Inc. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218757454
This journal article examines both white and Black attitudes about the growing Black Lives Matter movement.  The premise of the research examines societal-level racial attitudes and levels of biases post-Obama White House.  Examining the shifts in racial attitudes for 6 years, 2009 to 2016, coinciding with the growing numbers of  Black Lives Matter supporters.  The study concludes the equilibrium was not thrown to either end and views remain relatively equal.  This resulted in a neutral position in opinion without major concern or reaction one way or the other.  
Schultz, J. (2019, May). Media Coverage of Law Enforcement and Effects of the Image  
Created. [Unpublished Senior Thesis]. Dominican university of California. 
In this thesis, Schultz performs his own literature review. Through this, he can cover the topics of how the police have attempted to improve their image, the media’s effect on the polices’ image and the creation of a believed public image. In the introduction, he explains that through his marketing degree, he has learned how to persuade people and what persuades them. He goes on to explain that because of the media, the actions of the few are accepted as the actions of the many by the public as those are the experiences the public has had with law enforcement outside of emergency situations. 
Taneja, T. N. H. (2018, November 17). Mapping and Measuring Media Ownership and 
Control: A Critical Note. Economic and political weekly. Athena Information Solutions Pvt. Ltd.
Taneja discusses something significant that people tend to forget behind the veneer of who’s on the face of the TV screen: who’s the actual owner behind the curtain, where is where the real journalist bias appears outside of the primetime political commentators that most people tend to assume are the bulk of the programming. Additionally, Taneja maps how these types of media owners control the networks that they have ownership of. The primary limitation is the rough outline as the primary element of discussion and is not fully verified.  The motives and opportunities result in speculation.  The resulting commentary, though interpreted as valuable insight, demonstrates the true bias of the media.  The reality is superficial and based upon who is seen on the screen.
Thomas, D. & Horowitz, J. M. (2020, September 16). Support for Black Lives Matter has 
Decreased Since June but Remains Strong Among Black Americans. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/16/support-for-black-lives-matter-has-decreased-since-june-but-remains-strong-among-black-americans/
The Black Lives Matter movement came back into the spotlight because of the country-wide protests this past 2020 summer. Overall, less than thirty percent of Americans support the Black Lives Matter movement since June, but more and more cases of police brutality against Black people have hit the headlines. While support has gone up in Black communities over the months, it has been declining quite rapidly in White and Hispanic communities. Also, the political divide within the movement has also widened. Those identifying as the White Republic or Republican-leaning drastically declined in support of the movement since June. Those identifying as White Democrats or Democratic-leaning have also declined but at a much slower rate. 
Vanaik, J. (2018). Reframing racism: political cartoons in the era of Black Lives Matter. 
Politics, Groups & Identities, 6(4), 838–851. 
https://doi.org/10.1080/21565503.2018.1523060
Written in the observance of political cartoons referencing The Black Lives Matter movement and racism as its messaging and the response to the message interpreted for political satire.  Black Lives Matter gained national prominence after highly publicized protests turned the spotlight on police violence in the US. Using a dataset of 500 plus editorial cartoons, the observance reveals an increase in reference to racism and Black Lives Matter.  The study discovered that cartoonists increased the number of times that racism was the subject matter during the time of the increased media references to the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Movements were usually portrayed in a sympathetic light. Despite these gains for the advocacy of BLM activists, the engagement with the movement was superficial, indicated most clearly in the exclusion of women from cartoonists’ framing of the movement. Nevertheless, the cartoons drawn in the wake of BLM demonstrate a clear break, in imagery and meaning, from the presence of post-racial tropes⁠ typical of editorial cartoons in the preceding period.
Methods
Building upon previous research, study, and analysis of the media and Black Lives Matter, our inquiry position will use qualitative research methods to answer and support our hypothesis and research questions.  To obtain the data for analysis, we will use several surveys to obtain sufficient sample pools and focus group participants.  Using an electronic survey application such as Survey Monkey or Qualtrics will allow for aggregate data collection.  The surveys will be worded to allow for efficient collection of information specific to our interest and study variables. We will cast a wide net to collect voting age participants (18+) across the United States. Ideally, we would expect to have 250 participants to complete all of the surveys and qualify as focus group participants for the study.  To obtain participants and the data for analysis, we will use several methods of surveys to obtain sufficient sample pools and focus group participants.  Using an electronic survey application such as Survey Monkey or Qualtrics will allow for aggregate data collection.  The surveys will be worded to efficiently allow collecting information specific to our variables of interest and study.   The chosen variables are reflective of negative attitudes toward protests and Black Lives Matter.  The variables to consider include a general perspective of the right to protest, media consumption, demographics, political ideology, and affiliation.
Dependent Variables
The chosen variables are reflective of negative attitudes toward protests and Black Lives Matter.  The variables to consider include a general perspective of the right to protest, media consumption, demographics, political ideology, and affiliation. To obtain the data, we will use scaled ranges to evaluate participants' opinions of protests and BLM (ranges of  1 = strongly agree to 5 = strongly disagree).  Considering the current societal and political climate, it may be necessary also to consider the measure of racial resentment.  The Modern Racism Scale has been widely used in interdisciplinary studies with survey methodologies exploring race (e.g., Entman & Rojecki, 2001; Gilliam & Iyengar, 2000).
Independent Variables
This study's independent variables include demographics(age, gender, education, income, and race), political ideology/influence, media views, media consumption, and attitudes toward protests.  In evaluation, a scaled measure will be used where appropriate with specific answer questions as applicable.  
Data Analysis
Once that data is collected,  similar answers to open-ended surveys will be put together to conclude how each Participants’ demographic information can affect the outcome. Further evaluation of panel design will be used to answer the research questions and hypothesis.
Limitations and Suggestions for Future Research
We are conscious of the fact that those who have had traumatic experiences with law enforcement while attending protests may be triggered when recounting those events, making it difficult to collect information from them. It may also, in the same respect, prove difficult to find participants willing to be a part of our study, for those who have had traumatic encounters with the police may not wish to recall such memories. Furthermore, due to the nature of this study, it is more than likely that participants will have a biased view of law enforcement as a result of their encounters, which has a chance to skew the overall results. Based on the methods we are using, the information will be self-reported, which may be influenced by the participants' biases. 
This study also has a strong focus on media representation. As such, we understand that it may prove difficult to gain access to the media’s paper trails. Large companies in general tend to be very cautious of their money usage, but only in hiding what they believe the public would scrutinize them for. For us, finding this information may prove difficult without outside sources. 
Moving forward, we believe that future researchers should make the mental health of their participants their number one priority. Prudent researchers may find it beneficial to hire professional mental health workers for participants to call upon during the study, should they find themselves to be triggered. It may also be practical to inform participants of nearby, affordable mental health practitioners they may call after the study has been completed. Researchers should also show consideration for the health of their participants by reaching out to them after the study to ensure that their mental well-being was not negatively affected. Lastly, due to the nature of this research, future investigators should be sure that they have an ample amount of time to conduct their research, so that, should participants become upset, the researchers have enough time to allow the participants to relax and calm down and then re-conduct the study.
References
Krieger, N. (2020, November 1). ENOUGH: COVID-19, Structural Racism, Police Brutality, Plutocracy, Climate Change—and Time for Health Justice, Democratic Governance, and an Equitable, Sustainable Future. American journal of public health (1971). American Public Health Association. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2020.305886
Taneja, T. N. H. (2018, November 17). Mapping and Measuring Media Ownership and Control: A Critical Note. Economic and political weekly. Athena Information Solutions Pvt. Ltd.
Hanitzsch, T., & Berganza, R. (2012, October). Explaining Journalists’ Trust in Public Institutions Across 20 Countries: Media Freedom, Corruption, and Ownership Matter Most. Journal of communication. Wiley Subscription Services, Inc. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1460-2466.2012.01663.x
Hertel-Fernandez, A., Skocpol, T., & Sclar, J. (2018, October). When Political Mega-Donors Join Forces: How the Koch Network and the Democracy Alliance Influence Organized U.S. Politics on the Right and Left. Studies in American political development. Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0898588X18000081
Hertel-Fernandez, A., Skocpol, T., & Sclar, J. (2018, October). When Political Mega-Donors Join Forces: How the Koch Network and the Democracy Alliance Influence Organized U.S. Politics on the Right and Left. Studies in American political development. Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0898588X18000081
Campbell, F., & Valera, P. (2020). “The Only Thing New is the Cameras”: A Study of U.S. 
College Students’ Perceptions of Police Violence on Social Media. Journal of Black 
Studies, 51(7), 654-670. 10.1177/0021934720935600
Cieramella, C.J. (2020, November). THE FEDS INVADE PORTLAND. Reason, 52(6), 19-19
Johnson, S. (2020, June). For all to see: Black death and trauma on display in America. New York 
Amsterdam News, p4-31.
Lawrence, R. G. (2000). The politics of force: Media and the construction of police brutality. 
ProQuest Ebook Central https://ebookcentral.proquest.com
MOGELSON, L. (2020). We Go Where They Go. New Yorker, 96(34), 40–53.
Kilgo, M. (2019). Media Effects And Marginalized Ideas: Relationships Among Media        Consumption And Support For Black Lives Matter. International Journal Of Communication (Online), 4287–.
Sawyer, J., & Gampa, A. (2018, March 13). Implicit and Explicit Racial Attitudes Changed During Black Lives Matter. Personality & social psychology bulletin. Sage Publications, Inc. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167218757454
Hands, Joss. (2015, November 20). @ is for Activism: Dissent, Resistance and Rebellion in a Digital Culture. Pluto Press
Vanaik, J. (2018). Reframing racism: political cartoons in the era of Black Lives Matter. Politics, Groups & Identities, 6(4), 838–851. https://doi.org/10.1080/21565503.2018.1523060
Ernest B. McGowen & Kristin N. Wylie (2020) Racialized differences in perceptions of and emotional responses to police killings of unarmed African Americans, Politics, Groups, and Identities, 8:2, 396-406, DOI: 10.1080/21565503.2020.1757805
Thomas, D. & Horowitz, J. M. (2020, September 16). Support for Black Lives Matter has Decreased Since June but Remains Strong Among Black Americans. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/16/support-for-black-lives-matter-has-decreased-since-june-but-remains-strong-among-black-americans/
Cunningham, M. (2020). Police, Violence, and Data: The Black Lives Matter Movement. Carnegie Mellon University Heinz College. https://www.heinz.cmu.edu/media/2017/january/police-violence-data
Mitchell, A., Gottfried, J., Kiley, J., & Matsa, K. E. (2014, October 21). Political Polarization & Media Habits. Pew Research Center: Journalism & Media. https://www.journalism.org/2014/10/21/political-polarization-media-habits/
Schultz, J. (2019, May). Media Coverage of Law Enforcement and Effects of the Image Created. [Unpublished Senior Thesis]. Dominican university of California. 
Fridkin, K., Wintersieck, A., Courey, J., & Thompson, J. (2017). Race and Police Brutality: The importance of Media Framing. International Journal of Communication, 11, 3394-3414. https://ijoc.org/index.php/ijoc/article/viewFile/6950/2117
St Edward’s University
INFORMED CONSENT FORM for RESEARCH
Media: The Thickest Blue Line?
Principal investigator: Stacey Kelly 
What are some general things you should know about research studies?
You are being asked to take part in a research study. Your participation in this study is voluntary. You have the right to be a part of this study, to choose not to participate, or to stop participating at any time without penalty. The purpose of research studies is to gain a better understanding of a specific topic or issue. You are not guaranteed any personal benefits from being in a study. Research studies also may pose risks to those that participate. In this consent form, you will find specific details about the research in which you are being asked to participate. If you do not understand something in this form it is your right to ask the researcher for clarification or more information. A copy of this consent form will be provided to you. If at any time you have questions about your participation, do not hesitate to contact the researcher(s) named above.
What is the purpose of this study?
The purpose of this study is to identify media consumers' perspectives and the effects of the way in which communication media promote, portray, and report activist activities and headlines specifically as it relates to Black Lives Matter and associated groups. 
What will happen if you take part in the study?
If you agree to participate in this study, you will be asked to identify on a checklist the communication tasks or activities that you hear or observe to get your news and information on civic issues locally and nationally.  You will be asked to complete a survey as it relates to your media consumption, interpretations, views, and opinion about your media as it relates to activism and specifically Black Lives Matter.   
Risks
There are no foreseeable risks or discomforts associated with your participation in this study. You will not be asked for your name or the name of your organization. You will receive the checklists in an electronic document. You will be provided a website for its return. All identifying information from your email account will be stripped before the checklists are given to the researchers.
Benefits
There are no direct benefits for your participation in this study. However, you may become more aware of your media consumption and presentation of your news. The information gained through this study will be used to better understand the communication effects of mass media and its reporting, promotion, projection, and persuasion on consumers of their specific media.
Confidentiality
The information in the records of the study will be kept confidential. Data will be stored securely in electronic files on the researcher’s computer at St. Edward’s University.  The computer is password protected and within a locked office. No reference will be made in oral or written reports which could link you to the study. You will NOT be asked to write your name on any study materials so that no one can match your identity to the answers that you provide.
Compensation
You will not receive anything for participating.
What if you have questions about this study?
If you have questions at any time about the study or the procedures, you may contact the researcher.
What if you have questions about your rights as a research participant?
If you feel you have not been treated according to the descriptions in this form, or your rights as a participant in research, have been violated during the course of this project, you may contact Professor Lance Bennett via email at [email protected].
Consent To Participate
I have read and understand the above information. I have the opportunity to print and keep a copy of this form. I agree to participate in this study with the understanding that I may choose not to participate or to stop participating at any time without penalty or loss of benefits to which I am otherwise entitled. By completing the checklists, I give my consent to participate in this study.
by Neil Bogenrieder, Stacey Kelly, Mackenzie Wight, & Athena Close Crockom
Department of Humanities, St. Edward’s University
0 notes
sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
Text
In Light Of Recent Events: An Independent Case Study Exploring The Lighting Situation On The Saint Edward’s Campus, And Its Possible Effects On Safety For Female Students
Introduction:
On November 10, 2021, the students of Saint Edward’s University received an email stating that only three days prior around 4:30 AM, a violent breaking and entering occurred in a student’s apartment, who was then subsequently raped. As of the time of writing up this assignment, the suspect has yet to be caught. Understandably, after this news broke, tensions in students rose dramatically, especially in those who lived in the Mary Hill Apartments complex where the crime took place. This event reopened a conversation that began around 2018 about how dimly lit Saint Edward’s campus is. This appears not to have changed-- the campus seems as dark now as it was all those years ago. This paper aims to explore campus, both literarily and literally, to see how well lit this campus is, and, in effect, understand those who may still feel uncomfortable going outside at night.
Description of the Method:
Over the course of one week, starting on November 14, 2021, and ending on November 20, 2021, I walked around the entirety of campus, alone in the dark. I started by breaking a map of the campus into six distinct sections by color (see Fig 1). Besides the red area of the map, the colors do not mean anything in particular. I did place priority on the red area of the map, as it contains the Maryhill Apartments where the rape occurred. I created a scale to determine two things (see Fig 2 & 3). Number one, roughly how well lit the area was. Number two, my emotions while walking in that area alone. Both of these scales were number scales between one and ten. Meaning that if an area was incredibly well lit, it would receive a 10. If an area was poorly lit, it may receive a 3. These scales do of course correlate, as it makes sense that if an area receives a 10, then my comfort level in that area may also receive a 10.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Map Legend:
The red area of the map has the highest priority and is explored before any other area. It shall be referred to as Area 1.
The orange area of the map shall be referred to as Area 2.
The yellow area of the map shall be referred to as Area 3.
The green area shall be Area 4.
The teal area shall be Area 5.
The dark blue area shall be Area 6.
The purple area shall be Area 7.
Area 1
Maryhill and Hilltopper Heights Apartments: 
On average, the Maryhill and Hilltopper Heights Apartments receive an average visibility score of 5.3. The average safety score was 6.3. I divided the entire complex into (admittedly confusing) sections, with 5 sections in all. 
Apartments 1-4 receive a score of 6 for visibility and an 8 for safety. 
Apartments 9-13 receive a score of 5 for visibility and a 4 for safety. There were hardly any cars around, and in case of an incident, I would feel as though nobody could help me. There wasn’t a soul in sight. There is a large field nearby these apartments that is incredibly dark and it would be impossible to see anyone in the field unless you were meeting the whites of their eyes.
Apartments 5, 6, 10, 11, and CB1 receive a visibility score of 9 and a safety score of 9. There are many cars nearby, many lights as it is, and the parking garage is nearby which helps illuminate the area. 
Apartments 14-17 get a visibility score of 3 and a visibility rating of 3.5. The parking lot is especially frightening. The dumpster for these units is tucked away in a dark corner of the lot and I would not feel comfortable taking the trash out at night if I lived there. However, there were a lot of cars nearby, and at the time of record, UPD was patrolling the area, which helped the safety rating go up for me. 
Apartments 8 & 15 (which may not seem close together, but are) gets a visibility rating of 2 and a safety rating of 4.5. I noticed that not a single person living on the bottom floor of apartment 8 had string lights on their patio. I would encourage residents to purchase some. Or even have the university give them out, as the backyard of apartment 8 is horrifically dark. All other backyards are much brighter by comparison.
Parking Garage
The first and second level of the parking garage gets a visibility score of 9 and a safety rating of 6. Parking lots are always scary at night no matter what, but these levels are so well lit you can make out every car, even from a distance.
Level 3 of the parking garage receives a V score of 4 and an S rating of 1. It was dimly lit, and seemed to have motion lights. When I noticed some were not illuminated, I tried to activate them by waving my hand under them. They did not work.
Level 4 does not get a score. It was so dark and there wasn’t a soul to speak of, and I found myself too frightened to walk up to level 4 on my own.
Softball Field
The whole reason I was inspired to do this project was because I have vivid memories of my freshman year where many female students were complaining about the sidewalk near the softball field being scarily dark. I don’t know if the university added brighter lights since that time, but I did not find it to be too dark. While the field itself is still pretty dark at night, the sidewalk is well lit and is also near both Hunt and St. Andre, so there are always groups of people walking back and forth. I give the softball field a V rating of 6.5 and a S rating of 7.
Area 2
The Pavilions / St. Andre: 
St. Andre gets a perfect 10/10 score in both respects. Practically the entire building is built out of glass panes that let light out from the inside. There are so many lights on the outdoor ceilings that I could clearly make out students' faces from yards away. Even the St. Andre field is well lit should someone wish to walk around at night.  
Basil / Dujarie / Casa
I chose to rate the three freshman dorms as a collective whole, and give them a V score of 7 and an S score of 8.5. There are a few dark spots, but they are easy to avoid. Each of the common rooms in each dorm either have their blinds open or don’t have blinds at all, allowing light to pour out from the inside. 
Hunt Hall
Hunt Hall is one of only 2 student housing buildings that received a perfect score of 10/10. I was able to count 18 bright LEDs that made the area bright as day. Though I noticed one needs to be replaced.
Teresa / Teresa Field
The dorms of Teresa themselves get a V score of 5.5 and an S score of 8.5. It’s a bit dim, but not horribly.
Teresa Field is another story, receiving a V score of 2.5 and an S score of 3.5. I encourage the university to think about the sports that rely on that field to practice on, especially with daylight savings causing a whole other lighting issue. Personally, I was devastated when my lacrosse practices were cut from 3 hours to 1 or 1.5 hours because the field became too dark to play on.
East Hall
East Hall receives a V score of 1.5 and an S score of 1.5. Frankly, I don’t know if anybody even lives there anymore. All the lights inside are on, but nobody seems to be home... The parking lot attached to East Hall is also pretty scary. This definitely is not a good place to hang out at night. 
Area 3
Doyle
It was at this point in the night that I had wished I had brought some water, and also that the Grab and Goat wasn’t so far away. It received a V score of 4, and initially got an S score of 4 as well. However, when I attempted to get inside to find a water fountain, I found that I could not enter the building even with my key card. 
Premont
Premont Hall receives a V score of 7 and an S score of 7. The parking lot is a tad frightening, but since I was still on a quest to find a water fountain, I attempted to get inside, and I found that I could! The area itself is well lit and I found solace in the fact that the building was open. 
Operation Building
The operations building receives a V score of 5.5 and an S score of 4. There are many lights on the front of the building, but again, I am unsure of whether or not UPD could be inside.
Fine Arts Building
The Fine Arts building receives a V score of 5.5 and a safety score of 5. Nobody was really around, which skeeved me out a little. However, the outside is decently lit and the library is in clear sight should anyone need to run inside in case of emergency.
Our Lady of Peace Chapel
Our Lady of Peace receives a V rating of 7.5 and an S rating of 8. The outside is lit just fine, and I was able to make my way in. The inside was arguably darker than the outside, but I find that even as a nontheistic person, I felt safe by default since it is a church. 
Area 4
Lewis-Chen Soccer Field
Since students are unable to access the soccer field unless their team is actively on it, I walked the path that skirts around the perimeter. The path receives a V score of 6 and an S score of 5. There are more than enough street lamps, but they are arguably a little dim. You can really only see directly in front of you-- not very far. You also cannot see anything at all should you look across the field from where you are standing. Personally, being unable to see anyone around me while taking a stroll does not make me feel all that safe.
Tennis Court
The tennis court receives a V score of 2 and an S score of 4.
Lower Field
Unlike the soccer field, the gates to the lower field are open at all times given that a team is not actively playing on it. It can easily be argued that there is no reason that a student should even be over there at night, and I can say that I agree with that stance. However, that does not take away from the fact that the lower field is pitch black-- it receives a V score of 0.5 and an S score of 4. The only lights to speak of come from the top floor of the operation building next to it, but those lights are also dim and do not flood any light onto the field itself. It received a higher safety score compared to the visibility score because the operations building is where UPD HQ is, but I was unsure of whether or not they could be inside or if they had gone home for the evening. 
Baseball Field
The baseball field receives a V score of 1.5 and an S score of 1.5. There was not a soul in sight and it was practically pitch black. I felt incredibly unsafe and left the area almost immediately. 
Area 5
Holy Cross
Holy Cross Hall receives a V score of 5.5 and an S score of 7. The lights on the outside of the building are slightly dim, but students are able to get in without their key card if they use the door up the stairs.
Main Building
Main Building receives a V score of 7 and an S score of 5. The area is dark, especially the field in front of the red doors. The area itself is very secluded, but not in a way that made me feel comfortable. There are also not many other buildings around that a student could run into in case of emergency. I did not try to open the red doors for obvious reasons. 
Sorin Oak
Sorin Oak receives a V score of 7 and an S score of 7.5. There are plenty of buildings around, and the gravel front lawn is decently lit. 
Moody Hall
Moody Hall receives a V score of 7.5 and an S score of 9. There are some areas that are dark, but the areas that are lit are lit incredibly well since it is near St. Andre. It also surrounds a few other buildings.
Fondren & Ragsale 
This area receives a V score of 7.5 and an S score of 7.5.
John Brook Williams
JBW receives a V score of 9 and an S score of 9. This is because it is so close to St. Andre, which received a perfect score. 
Area 6
Moody Theatre
The perimeter of the hill that the Moody Theatre is built upon is lit with dim orange mood lights, but there are enough bulbs to illuminate most of the hill. I give this area a V score of 6 and an S score of 8. The doors are automatic, should someone need to run inside quickly, and there were people inside of the building at the time of record. 
Area 7
Fleck
Fleck receives a V score of 7 and an S score of 7. Almost all four sides of the building are brightly lit, except for the one that faces the street, which arguably does not need to be lit anyway. It is right near the library, students can get inside without a key, and most of the doors to the classroom are either opened or unlocked. 
Library
Personally, libraries always feel safe by default. The library also feels a bit safer than it could have since they updated their hours semi-recently and are now open until 10. The library receives a V score of 8 and an S score of 8. 
Trustee
Trustee, or the Bill Munday School of Business, receives a V score of 9 and an S score of 8. I was able to count 18 bright LED’s in the ceiling illuminating the area, and I was able to get inside even without a key.
Gymnasium
The gym receives a V score of 7.5 and an S score of 6.5. Like a lot of other buildings on campus, the gym is made of many glass panes that allow light to pass through to the outside. The parking lot is a little scary and a bit darker than I felt comfortable with, but at the time of record, roughly 8:30 PM, there were many people inside the building, which eased me. 
Arguments:
So, what seems to be the answer? For every complaint there is a reasonable argument. There are no buildings in the area. So, are we to build a million more buildings? Some areas are pitch black. Why would students be going over there anyway? Should the entire campus be bright as day at all hours? Students cannot get inside of certain buildings after hours. So, are we to ensure that all of the buildings are open 24/7? Should there not be such a thing as a closing time? Although these arguments are all reasonable, the complaints all speak to the larger issue at hand. Female students have historically been stating that they feel unsafe in certain areas of campus. Of course it is unreasonable to ask the university to build more buildings or to install a thousand new LED lights. But the larger issue can be tackled with one solution. When female students speak out and say that they are feeling unsafe on the campus they live and/or learn on, the university needs to hear them and meet their needs.
 I personally know that after the breaking and entering that occurred last November, the girls on my WLAX team, my female roommate, and all of my female friends who attend SEU felt panic stricken. What if it happened to them? Would they be prepared to fight back? Do they need to purchase a weapon? Do they need to buy more locks? Should they lock their bedroom doors? I feel as though the best solution to these arguments is for the university to allow for a space for female students to explain how they feel and have the university soothe their worries to the best of their ability with any resources they have. 
Conclusion:
While certain issues were addressed in the Arguments section, I would like to offer some more head-on solutions. Firstly, the university should offer string lights to students who live in the Maryhill Apartments for free. The university should purchase 50-100 sets of string lights and give them out so that all of the apartment buildings can be lit from all the balconies and patios. I do not feel as though this would cause an issue with areas being too bright should they purchase lights that aren’t LEDs. I personally have lights in my bedroom that illuminate my bedroom just fine on the lowest setting.
Secondly, I believe that the university should offer their self-defence classes for free, or at the very least, at a lesser tuition cost. While I personally believe that this campus is safer than most, there are clearly students who may feel that should anything happen to them, while either walking around or even in their own bedroom, they may not have the ability to fight back. Self defence classes are a great way to ensure that female students feel confident in their abilities to fight off anyone who may be out to cause them harm.
Lastly, I feel as though the Campus Safety Walk should go back to being at all hours of the night. I recently learned that the Safety Walk is now only available to students until 11:00 PM, and this is an unrealistic stance for the university to take. Whether they want to believe it or not, college parties happen, and they can run until very late in the night. Any student should be able to use the Safety Walk program if they are drunk and unable to get a ride and need to walk home, especially if such events occur past 11:00 PM-- and they almost always will.
Finally, as stated previously, the overall score of the campus was a visibility score of 5.8 and a safety rating of 6. I would encourage the university to use this study to their advantage and poll students and rate how safe they feel in each of the 7 sections of campus as sectioned by my map. I hypothesize that the average score from the students would align with my own findings. If the university implements these measures to ensure student safety, I believe that the overall score would rise dramatically. 
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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The Last Straw: It’s Time to Talk About Environmental Ableism
Disabled folks have historically gotten the short end of the stick in America. They are more likely to face homelessness, poverty, and are more likely to experience police brutality. And as new policies regarding climate change and plastic use emerge, 26% of America’s population faces more unprecedented issues.
Climate change is no longer some abstract concept that we can keep ignoring-- it’s already here at our doorstep. If you have been outside at any point in the last two weeks or so, you would have felt the extreme, record breaking heat that’s been almost too much to bear. As climate change continues to be a pressing issue in our lives, new policies such as bans on plastic straws and requests to turn our air conditioners up to 78 degrees in 105 degree weather become ever present. While these policies may prove to be a minor inconvenience to some, America’s disabled population has proven to be disproportionately affected by them. For a little perspective on the large number of people put at risk by such regulations, it is said that about 26%, or 1 in 4 American adults are afflicted with some type of disability. Environmental ableism is real, and it is time to start talking about it before it is too late.
Some people rely on single use plastics to survive, and banning the use of those plastics is inhumane because it is limiting their freedom. Plastic straws and pre-cut fruit and vegetables can make it easier for disabled people to live independently without relying on someone else to help them drink or cook for them. Banning single use plastics is inhumane even if it is in the name of environmental conservation. Limiting the use of single use plastics can be beneficial but it is not anywhere near enough to actually reverse the effects of climate change. 71% of all carbon emissions are produced by 100 different companies, so banning the use of plastics for the individual is preformative at best.  
There are many different types of chronic illnesses that can be negatively affected by extreme temperatures. Two examples of such illnesses are multiple sclerosis, or MS, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, more commonly known as COPD. A common symptom of those with MS is discomfort and pain in response to changing weather patterns. As the weather becomes hot and humid, those with MS may “experience a temporary worsening of their symptoms [...] These temporary changes can result from even a slight elevation in core body temperature [...] An elevated temperature further impairs the ability of a demyelinated nerve to conduct electrical impulses” (National MS Society). As for those with COPD, a term that describes multiple types of lung diseases, patients may experience trouble walking, balancing, or breathing in climate extremes. As temperatures become more extreme globally, it will be harder for those who need to live in temperate climates to find refuge.
As climate change begins to affect our world, we can expect natural disasters to be on the rise. It is crucial that disaster planning meets the needs of those with disabilities in their community.  In the event of a natural disaster, deaf people need ASL translators. Wheelchair users need accessible shelters. People with life-sustaining machinery need adequate transport. Keeping the needs of the disabled community in mind when creating escape plans saves lives. As the need for evacuation plans rises, it is imperative for them to be both effective and inclusive. The number of disabled climate refugees is rising, and sufficient disaster relief programs are needed now more than ever. 
Many critics may claim that these accommodations for the disabled will cost “too much money”, but trying to put disabled people behind a paywall of accessibility attempts puts a price on a human life. The cost of providing aid to human beings should never be something that stops us from saving literal lives, especially those lives who cannot survive without more help than the average person. There is no amount of money more valuable than the life of a human being. Cost should never be a factor in whether or not we choose to provide life-saving services to those who need it.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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“Above all else [...] I was here”: A Study of Tragedy by Way of Artistic Expression Through the Eyes of Felix Gonzales-Torres
Introduction:
The 4 story condominium that now stands on 15 St. Mark’s Place in the East Village of Manhattan, New York City was once a hazy, hopping, and sweaty gay bar in the 1980s, where drag shows would run fantastically late into the dead of night while viewers huddled together on the buildings stoop, careful not to miss a thing. Boy Bar acted as a safe space for the queer community for nearly a decade, from approximately 1980 to 1990. Though its time lived in New York City was short, the impact it had on the queer community can still be felt today.
Felix Gonzales-Torres met the love of his life, Ross Laycock, at Boy Bar in 1983. Though the more intimate details of their relationship are unknown, it is known that Felix and Ross were together for nearly a decade, from 1983 to 1991, until Ross developed the HIV/AIDS virus and passed away. Felix followed him not too long after, passing away only 5 years later from HIV/AIDS himself. 
Felix Gonzales-Torres was always an artist, receiving his Bachelor’s in Photography at the Pruitt Institute of Art, receiving his Master’s in Fine Art at New York University, and even taught art classes at a few universities for a period of his life. He was and still is best known for his thought-provoking emotional, and minimalistic sculptures, most of which were responses to the ongoing AIDS crisis at the time. In the five years in between the death of Ross Laycock and his own demise in 1996, Felix Gonzales-Torres used his art to honor the life of Ross. The sculpture’s meant to honor his life are arguably the most well-known in his portfolio. 
Humans have channeled their feelings of grief through artwork since the beginning of time. This may be because, generally speaking, art serves as a metaphor for capturing a moment in time. In other words, artistic expression is a way to say “This event happened. This is how it made me/those affected by it feel. By putting these elements together, I am recreating the story of what happened to me/those people, and as such, capturing a moment in time”. As artwork has the tendency to stick around for quite a while, many over the course of hundreds or even thousands of years, the feelings art is meant to provoke may be felt by people over countless lifetimes. Although it is clear that the metaphors contained in artwork may be used to channel the feeling of grief, this paper wishes to explore how.
Purpose Statement:
This paper aims to explore how artwork through the use of metaphor responds to situations marked by tragedy.
Review of Literature:
Similar to death and taxes, tragedy is something to be expected out of life. As such, we must find outlets for the grief that occurs within us once we experience tragedy. Throughout a million lifetimes, humans have used art as their outlet. We put together elements to capture a moment in time; to allow ourselves to feel and process our grief, and to call to those who may have experienced the same or similar tragedies and let them know that they are understood. To prove this, I shall be analyzing four different pieces of art and by examining the writings of del Rosario Acosta López, Doss, and Strauss. All of these chosen elements provide evidence of the central theme of artwork being an outlet for grief. 
This review of the literature will focus on two sub-themes relating to the central theme. Firstly, it shall explore art and its affective impact on society. Secondly, it will explore the relationship between art and metaphor. This exploration will be enough to prove that art may serve as a vehicle for the outlet of human grief. 
In her journal article “Makes Me Laugh, Makes Me Cry”, Erika Doss explains how art has the potential to compel feelings to “flow” through societies, and as a result, affect everyone these feelings make contact with, stating that such a phenomenon has the potential to “mobilize social groups and activate cultural and political modes of production” (Doss). The argument here being that art is powerful and can affect how a society operates based on the emotions the piece(s) is able to produce. 
Only two days after the attacks in New York City on 9/11, Neil Strauss published an article to the New York Times entitled “The Expression of Grief and the Power of Art” that proves just that. Strauss explores multiple mediums to prove this point, including but not limited to, theatre, literature, television, artwork, and classical music. Some of his analyses are thus: 
In 1946, an actor by the name of Lawrence Olivier was playing the role of Oedipus. During a scene wherein Oedipus tears out his own eyes, for he no longer wishes to see the tragedies of this world, Olivier let out a scream that attendees of the show said was so powerful, they could still hear it clearly decades later. 
In the last months of his life, while one of Strauss’ closest friends was succumbing to AIDS, he gathered as much music as he could and listened to it incessantly. One song he always found himself going back to was a classical piece– Mozart’s Piano Quartet in E Flat. When his friend eventually passed away, they were sure to play that exact song at his memorial service to honor his memory. 
 And, strangely enough, I would go as far as to argue that “Expressions of Grief and the Power of Art'' would be an example of this in and of itself. As previously stated, the article was published only two days after the 9/11 attacks. I am left only to assume that Strauss was filled with so much grief over it that he spent those two days putting together, pouring over his computer until it was complete. But I digress. 
What may said, then, about how this relates to the relationship between art and metaphor? One of the best examples I can think of is a drawing entitled “The Hero With One Wing” (1905) by Paul Klee. At first glance, it is hard to make out exactly what it is you are viewing. But upon further investigation, you shall find a myriad of metaphors within. The illustration depicts a human-male-like figure, looking sternly upwards. He has a wing where his hand should be, and on his other side, where a hand is, his arm is shown in a sling. The figure also only has one leg, and the other is a prosthesis made from a log. The hero is presumably a mythical figure, caught between the heavens and the earth. His injuries imply his dedication to flying, though he only has one fragile wing that causes him to fall back down to earth from the heavens. The hero is meant to serve as a metaphor for the tragedy of the human condition. In his own words, “men is half a prisoner, half borne on wings”. It serves as an artistic metaphor for the tragedy that is being human.
This simply goes to show that there is no art without metaphor. Art is meant to make you think and analyze it deeper. “The Hero With One Wing”, “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)”, and millions of other pieces that arose through the feeling of grief simply have no choice but to utilize metaphor to get the viewer to understand their feelings more profoundly; more critically; more personally. 
Argument Statement: 
In this essay, I shall argue that art may serve as a vehicle for the emotion of grief. Artwork that wishes to convey such an emotion, whether it was produced a year ago or 1,000 years ago, can make us feel the grief the artist channeled into their work. Felix Gonzales-Torres, although he is long gone, is still making an impact in the world of art and has cemented his place in the timeline of queer history through his timeless artwork which he used to channel the grief of his lost love. Through the use of metaphor in Gonzales-Torres’s artwork, he was able to successfully capture the feeling of losing a loved one and was able to do so in such a way that the method he used remains relevant today. As such, Felix Gonzales-Torres’s artwork serves to prove that artwork may serve as a vehicle for grief, and also that capturing the emotion of grief in an artwork allows the emotions to be felt by a multitude of different audiences for the rest of time. 
Preview: 
Throughout this essay, three artifacts will be analyzed. The three artifacts are sculptures created by Felix Gonzales-Torres. By analyzing the pieces, the paper will be able to explore how it may be so that art may act as a vehicle for an outpour of grief. 
Description of the Artifacts:
Figure 1: “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)”, by Felix Gonzales-Torres
A mountain of candy sits in the corner of a room. This mound is, at the time of its creation and installation, exactly 175 pounds worth of colorful sweets. Each piece of candy is enveloped in a different color wrapper, making the mountain itself intensely eye-catching and colorful. The original piece sat in the corner of a showroom in the Art Institute of Chicago.  
Figure 2: “Untitled” (Perfect Lovers), by Felix Gonzales-Torres
Two identical black clocks sit on a wall. At the time of its installation, as originally intended, the clocks run perfectly in sync. The clocks are located in the Dallas Museum of Art.
Figure 3: “Untitled” (It’s Just a Matter of Time), by Felix Gonzales-Torres
Various billboards are put up around the world, in places such as Switzerland, Germany, New York, Austria, and Spain. The billboards are all a deep black, sans the white writing in the center. The writing all says the same thing but varies language-wise depending on the location. The billboards in Germany are in German, the billboards in Spain are in Spanish, and so on. All billboards are meant to read, in their respective languages, “It’s just a matter of time.” The text is in the gothic font “Fraktur”. 
Analysis of the Artifacts: 
All three of the works presented in this essay rely on the visual metaphor of substitution. Substitution, in this case, is a scenario wherein the tenor or vehicle of the metaphor is substituted for the other (Foss). In layman's terms, substitution is when the subject (the tenor) is meant to stand in for the mechanism or lens by which we understand how to make sense of it– the vehicle. In the case of Felix Gonzales-Torres’s pieces, the tenor– which in this case, is the subject of AIDS, is hidden from the viewer and is meant to be discovered. The vehicle– what the artist uses to represent the metaphor or message, is a mountain of candy, a set of clocks, and scattered, haunting billboards.
All three artifacts are centralized around a few common themes– grief, love, and AIDS. All of the artifacts explore grief in different ways. Firstly, “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)” is Felix Gonzales-Torres’s way of mourning Laycock– not their relationship, but the person that he was, and the person he became once he developed AIDS. Ross had every good quality possible– he was athletic, he was adventurous, and wasn’t afraid of anything. He was abundantly confident, almost annoyingly so, and incredibly creative (George). Once he succumbed to AIDS, however, the person that Felix Gonzales-Torres had fallen in love with was a dead man walking. His body was stick-thin and sickly, and he began to simply waste away (Brumberg). The way in which this particular piece chooses to represent that is the fact that viewers of the piece are encouraged to take a piece of candy from the 175-pound mountain. Ross Laycock was exactly 175 pounds before he developed AIDS, and as such, the mountain is meant to represent Laycock’s body. As viewers of the piece take the candy, they are contributing to the metaphorical body of Ross wasting away and depleting. The candy itself is said to represent, in a paradoxical sense, the pain that Gonzales-Torres felt as he had to live on without his lover. 
“Untitled” (Perfect Lovers) represents grief in a similar way to “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)”. While “Portrait of Ross” represents the loss of a person, “Perfect Lovers” is meant to represent the death of a relationship. However, both pieces speak to the way in which Laycock deteriorated due to his diagnosis. How the piece is meant to be viewed is that the audience shall witness two clocks running together in perfect sync. This synchronization is meant to represent how the two men’s love seemed to run in perfect sync as well. However, as what will inevitably happen, and what is meant to happen, is that eventually, one of the clocks shall die– disrupting the harmony. Whenever this occurs, it is meant to represent how Laycock’s death disrupted the harmony of their relationship. This is because batteries don’t die all at once;  their death is slow– slowing down whatever vessel they are placed into with them. As such, whenever one of the clocks is dying or dead, it is meant to represent the loss of Laycock all over again. However, in a fierce act of love by Gonzales-Torres, the piece is not meant to end when the batteries die– they are meant to be replenished so that the clocks may once again run in sync with one another. This allows the metaphorical love they share to continue forever, albeit be through two clocks on a wall. Gonzales-Torres was once quoted as saying this about this particular work: “Don’t be afraid of the clocks, they are our time, the time has been so generous to us. We imprinted time with the sweet taste of victory. We conquered fate by meeting at a certain TIME in a certain space. We are a product of the time, therefore we give back credit where it is due: time. We are synchronized, now forever. I love you.”
Finally, “Untitled” (It’s Just a Matter of Time) has less to do with the theme of love and more to do with grief and AIDS. This piece is meant to speak to the larger issue of AIDS and the politics that followed. The piece itself is meant to be haunting, and does so through the fact that Gonzales-Torres never fully explained the meaning behind it, choosing to leave interpretation up to the audience. Given that the pieces were erected in 1992, and also by analyzing his past works, we may safely assume that “It’s Just A Matter of Time'' is Felix Gonzales-Torres’s way of saying that it is just a matter of time before the illness comes for you or a loved one, so be pertinent in the fight for AIDS treatments and cures. It is also true that many LGBTQ people who were alive during the AIDS crisis lost many, many friends to the disease due to the government's lack of assistance. It may be assumed that, since Gonzales-Torres spent a lot of time in LGBTQ spaces, he made many friends who were also gay men, and subsequently died of the AIDS virus. As such, “It’s Just A Matter of Time” is symbolic of the grief that not only Gonzales-Torres, but many other LGBTQ folk felt during the height of the AIDS epidemic. 
All three of the chosen artifacts for this essay speak on the themes of grief, love, and AIDS in similar yet different ways. Through the use of metaphors such as billboards, candy, and clocks, Felix Gonzales-Torres was able to create a lasting artistic impact and create a narrative of the AIDS epidemic through his work. 
Conclusion:
So, how does artwork through the use of metaphor respond to situations marked by tragedy? I would argue that artwork responds to tragedy because it is supposed to. That is what art is made to do. Art is meant to capture a moment in time, sure, but by extension of that logic, it captures the feelings that moment brought forth. Humans are meant to create art, and it isn’t necessary to enlist in an anthropology course to figure it out. Since the beginning of human history, we have been using art as an outlet for grief– to help ourselves heal and to help others heal as well. “The Hero With One Wing” captures the tragedy of being human. “Untitled (Perfect Lovers)” captures the heartbreak of losing a beloved partner and feeling as though your life has stopped synchronizing. “Untitled (Portrait of Ross in L.A.)” captures the pain of having to go on and keep living your life after your partner has passed away, because unfortunately, the earth has not stopped spinning. Throughout this essay, I have attempted to prove that the relationship between art, tragedy, and metaphor, is a strong one. Through my analysis of various artworks and articles, I have been able to describe situations in which art has made a lasting impact. The relationship between art, tragedy, and metaphor is a bond that should not, and cannot, be broken.
References
15 Saint Mark's place in East Village. StreetEasy. (n.d.). Retrieved December 3, 2021, from 
https://streeteasy.com/building/15-st-marks-place-new_york.
About a work. School of the Art Institute of Chicago. (2015). Retrieved December 3, 2021, from 
https://www.saic.edu/news/about-work-0#:~:text=Felix%20Gonzalez%2DTorres'%20%E2%80%9CUntitled,complications%20of%20AIDS%20in%201991.
Bennington-Castro, J. (2020, June 1). How AIDS remained an unspoken-but deadly-epidemic for 
years. History.com. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://www.history.com/news/aids-epidemic-ronald-reagan.
The Denisonian. (2020, February 5). Letter to the campus: Denison, Hart Island and Félix 
González-Torres. The Denisonian. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://denisonian.com/2019/12/opinion/letter-to-the-campus-denison-hart-island-and-felix-gonzalez-torres/.
Doss, E. (2011). Makes me laugh, makes me cry. American Art, 25(3), 2–8. 
https://doi.org/10.1086/663948
Felix Gonzalez-Torres, Ross Laycock & Carl George: An archive of love and loss at Visual 
AIDS. Visual AIDS. (n.d.). Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://visualaids.org/blog/carl-george-fgt-ross-laycock.
López, M. del. (2013). Tragic representation: Paul Klee on tragedy and art. Research in 
Phenomenology, 43(3), 443–461. https://doi.org/10.1163/15691640-12341269
Pitillo, A. (2013, January 4). The history of gay bars -- New York Magazine - Nymag. New York 
Magazine. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://nymag.com/nightlife/features/gay-bar-history-2013-1/.
Publicdelivery. (2021, October 18). The meaning of Felix Gonzalez-Torres’s clocks / perfect 
lovers. Public Delivery. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://publicdelivery.org/felix-gonzalez-torres-clocks/.
RIP to all the gay bars in New York City I've known. ZeitGAYst. (n.d.). Retrieved December 3, 
2021, from https://thestarryeye.typepad.com/gay/2014/03/gay-bars-of-nyc-rip-.html.
Sloan, B. (2018, June 20). You could be in a gay bar right now and not even know it. The New 
York Times. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/20/style/new-york-gay-bars-that-are-gone.html.
Smith, R. (1996, January 11). Felix Gonzalez-Torres, 38, a sculptor of love and loss. The New 
York Times. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/1996/01/11/nyregion/felix-gonzalez-torres-38-a-sculptor-of-love-and-loss.html.
Strauss, N. (2001, September 13). The expression of grief and the power of art. The New York 
Times. Retrieved December 3, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2001/09/13/arts/the-expression-of-grief-and-the-power-of-art-91977770195.html.
TheAdvocateMag. (2016, June 27). 12 lost gay bars of New York City. ADVOCATE. Retrieved 
December 3, 2021, from https://www.advocate.com/arts-entertainment/2016/6/27/12-lost-gay-bars-new-york-city. 
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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“Bring Your Own Straw”, and Other Illustrations of Environmental Ableism: How People With Disabilities are Left Out of Environmental Conversations
Like every other social issue, ableism is intersectional. That is to say, many other social issues affect it. People affected by ableism are often the most drastically affected in many ways by social issues but are also the least thought about. Everyone knows the basis of many other social problems. People engage in racism because of white supremacy. People engage in sexism because of patriarchy. People engage in homophobia because of The Bible. But if you were to ask someone off the street how people engage in ableism, not only might they not be able to answer you, they might not even know what ableism is. One of the biggest problems that ableism faces as a whole is that people are not very educated on what it is and what it means. Dictionaries tend to prove unhelpful, for Meriam-Webster defines ableism simply as “discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities” (Meriam-Webster). This is a very cut and dry view of what ableism truly is. Ableism is not so black and white, and instead is a broad social issue with lots of intricate parts. Bob Pease, the Head of Social Work at Deakin University, explained it best when he said: “Ableism is so deeply embedded within our culture that we are often unable to recognize it” (Pease). He explains that the issue of ableism is so common that we aren’t able to notice when we are engaging in it. Instead, we live around it and through it every day, not realizing the damage being done. One of the biggest and most damaging aspects of this revelation is the concept of “environmental ableism”. 
Climate change and global warming affect all of us in one way or another. There are already a countless number of climate refugees in the east of our world flooding to the west to live comfortably and restart their whole lives. Climate scientists keep reminding us that we only have a decade to slow down global warming before humans become extinct. As such, the rational portion of society is deciding to listen and do what they can to clean up our environment. However, some ways that are being utilized are negatively affecting the lives of the disabled community and getting no recognition for doing so. On the other side of the coin, those who choose not to do anything about the rapid destruction of our planet are harming everyone, but the disabled community especially. The issues of global warming and climate change affect disabled people far more drastically in ways that are not considered by the able-bodied community. People with certain illnesses and ailments are more vulnerable to the difficulties climate change produces. In short, climate change and global warming influence the lives of the disabled community to a greater extent, but the effect is often not given due consideration. 
The plastic straw ban is the most recent and most notable example of environmental ableism. In the dim light of the public eye, starting the ban of plastic, and most prominently, the ban of plastic straws, is a step towards long term change. To many, the plastic straw ban means a far cleaner environment in our land and oceans. The catalyst of this movement started in 2015 when a video surfaced of a turtle with a plastic straw up its nose. The infamous video was filmed by a marine biologist student at Texas A&M, and in many ways showed how humans have been flooding the oceans with single-use plastics, and ultimately urged the population to rethink how they use plastics. In what seemed like an instant, major chains across the United States started banning the humble straw in their restaurants and establishments, and even today are being phased out. 
Places like Starbucks and Disney resorts have either begun to or have completely phased out plastic straws from their businesses, hiding behind a smoke-screen, claiming to do so as part of a “clean initiative”. These exploits are better known by the textbook as “greenwashing”. “Environmental Communication In the Public Sphere” defines this term as: “[a]n attempt to promote the appearances of products and commodity consumption as environmental or ‘green’...” (Pezzullo, Cox 362). These corporations and countless others tend to fall short in actual efficient environmental impacts, but by banning plastic straws, they are seen in the public eye as a green business, which drives their numbers and profits up. We are urged to now bring our own straws and do away with the plastic ones, a result of us to blaming ourselves as individuals for every environmental issue.
Major corporations have a funny way, and are quite good, at making us believe that every major environmental issue is a direct result of our own individual wrong-doing. The ozone layer is depleting because we drive to work. Global warming is happening because we don’t recycle enough. There’s plastic in the ocean because we use too many plastic straws. Of course, these claims are not ludacris and do hold some validity. Gasoline emissions, waste creation, and plastic use do have to do with what we do on a daily basis, but only to a certain extent. We are told by big corporations that we need to “do our part” to clean up our earth, and ironically enough, it is the same corporations that are currently polluting our planet that are telling us these things. Author Saigon Flowr, in an article published by “The Establishment” last year, explains that “[i]t is also irresponsible to place the weight and accountability of solving the ocean plastics problem onto individuals.” The ozone layer isn’t depleting because of cars, but instead because of smokestacks and coal plants. Global warming isn’t due to a lack of recycling, but instead because of the creations of Tarzans and fracking. There isn’t plastic in the ocean because of straws alone, when in fact 46% of all ocean plastics are fishing debris (Nature.com), while only 0.03% is plastic straws (Vox.com). Any amount of plastic in the ocean is a bad amount, and we should be working towards cleaning it out to the best of our ability, but the responsibility should not fall on us. Regardless of the indisputable facts, we are still holding onto the belief that as long as we recycle and use glass jars instead of Tupperware, everything will be okay. We are not shown the reality facing us, that global warming is imminent because of the corporations deliberately destroying our planet… but it will always be more convenient to blame us. 
Plastic straws are the most noteworthy illustration of environmental weights being placed on our shoulders. Ever since the infamous turtle video went viral, we have been encouraged to purchase and employ the use of “reusable” straws as a green alternative. For many, this is an easy change to make in their everyday life, only one more thing to remember before leaving the house, or another thing on their keychain. However, for the 61 million Americans who have some kind of disability (CDC.org), this change in the culture is detrimental. A large number of disabled Americans have a mobility impairment that requires the use of a plastic straw. Author Saigon Flowr explains that: “In all of the debates and proposed or implemented policies thus far, most have failed to include the disabled community—those of us who depend on plastic straws to carry out basic functions of daily living” (Flowr). The commencement of the plastic straw ban was good news to many environmentalists who did not bear in mind the large community who require them. Nobody thought to ask the question, “who might need these?” 
After this question finally started being asked, the widespread argument for the ban became, “Why don’t disabled people use reusable straws?” The reality for most disabled people is that reusable straws don’t work, not a single alternative. Glass and pasta straws are bound to break, and someone with a seizure disorder could possibly break one in their mouth. Metal straws are a conductor of heat, making them unsafe to use in hot beverages. Paper straws fall apart far too easily and don’t last long. Every one of these alternatives accompanies the issue of sanitation. Some disabled people are not able to fit the brush through the hole of their straw for a variety of different reasons. Reusable straws must be sanitized in order to be reused, and some people are unable to do so. Plastic straws are soft, bendable, do not need to be cleaned, and are disposable . The notion that disabled people should be responsible for bringing their own straws whenever they leave the house is ableist in itself. As Flowr describes, 
“You would not ask an [able] bodied person to be even mildly inconvenienced to regularly carry their own chairs and table to an eatery, or carry their own oxygen mask onto an airplane. Thus the onus to offer environmentally friendly alternatives should not fall on disabled people. If an establishment is truly committed to the environment and their clientele (because both are capable for consideration simultaneously), the responsibility to seek and offer viable and usable alternatives that also work for disabled people and not leave us excluded, is on the establishment” (Flowr).
Families of disabled people and children have enough to worry about when they leave the house, mostly worrying about bringing everything they need for their disabled loved one. Essentials might include a wheelchair, a breathing machine, a communication device, an inhaler, insulin shots, headphones, bibs, stimulation toys...and a straw on top of that, is far too much to have to remember, and should not be their responsibility alone. 
Banning plastic straws is not the step in the right direction if we want to clean up our planet. Turtle videos will come and go, but statistics are forever. Studies prove that there are far more fishing debris and plastic bags in the ocean than plastic straws. While it is true that 500 million plastic straws are used in the United States every day (National Geographic), and the reduction of plastic overall would benefit our planet, banning plastic straws is banning a necessity for countless individuals. Corporations are participating in the country-wide refusal of plastic straws to raise profits, since being environmental is trendy. Not corporations nor environmentalists are fully aware of the damage that banning the plastic straw would do to countless Americans. The fact is, “alternatives” are not viable. Those who need plastic straws, need plastic straws. Not bamboo, or silicon, or metal, but the humble, reliable, plastic straw. A blanket ban on plastic straws is cruel and inhumane, and not the correct way to go about solving any of our current environmental issues. 
Mobility issues aren't the only thing that climate change is making worse for the disabled community. Unbeknownst to many, climate change and global warming will affect the lives of people with certain illnesses drastically. There are countless illnesses in the medical scope that are affected by the weather in general. Extreme heat and extreme cold can mean discomfort and severe symptoms in many. After reaching out to my community, I was able to pinpoint two illnesses in particular that are being negatively affected by our rapidly changing climate. Multiple sclerosis and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease are just two of many illnesses that drastic changes in weather make worse for those afflicted with them. 
A very common symptom of MS is discomfort and pain with the changing weather. Extreme heat and extreme cold can mess with their body temperature considerably. According to the National MS Society’s website, “Many people with MS experience a temporary worsening of their symptoms when the weather is very hot or humid, or when they run a fever. These temporary changes can result from even a slight elevation in core body temperature (one-quarter to one-half of a degree). An elevated temperature further impairs the ability of a demyelinated nerve to conduct electrical impulses” (National MS Society). 
In the heat, people with MS might suffer inflammation, which affects their walking, and can also cause pain, confusion, and fatigue. That being said, people who live with MS typically avoid very hot or very cold places. However, with the threat of climate change continuously growing, this is becoming a much harder problem to solve. The National MS Society's websites even urges people who live in harsh climates to move to a more stable climate if possible. With winters growing colder, and summers growing hotter, this is increasingly difficult. Climate change and global warming are making everywhere a bad place to live if you have MS. 
In some more extreme cases, people with MS experience mental changes due to climate change. Of course, climate change does not directly affect patients' mental health, but its effects cannot be ignored. Extreme climates and weather patterns can cause fatigue in many patients. The fatigue they experience can cause patients to face isolation, which can cause loneliness. In an article posted by PMR.org, this phenomenon was described by saying, "Many people with MS are particularly vulnerable to extreme heat for numerous reasons. Fatigue affects participation and can lead to social isolation and negatively affect mental health" (PMR.org). Not only is climate change affecting the physical lives of these people, but it is taking a toll on their mental health as well.
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, more commonly known as COPD, is another illness that is affected by weather and the changing climate. The COPD Foundation website describes COPD as “an umbrella term used to describe progressive lung diseases… [and is] characterized by increasing breathlessness" (COPD Foundation). In the same way that climate extremes affect those with MS with inflammation and pain, those with COPD can experience trouble walking, balancing, or breathing in climate extremes.
I was lucky enough to be able to interview two people from my personal life about what they experience due to climate change with their illnesses. I interviewed my cousin Diana, who suffers from COPD, and my first-grade teacher, Mrs. Gilly Shroyer, who has a loved one with MS. 
My interview with Mrs. Shroyer opened my eyes to the reality that MS fighters face every day. She went into detail about symptoms that her loved one experiences due to somewhat extreme climates in general. It can be assumed that in harsher weather, her loved one's symptoms only worsen. 
“My MS fighter suffers greatly when the temperature changes.  Drop foot is a common symptom of MS. Climate change, high temperatures cause inflammation and walking becomes very impaired. Other symptoms that worsen are balance, fatigue, pain, and cognitive abilities. Stress and exertion also intensify symptoms, just to note. Ice packs are used often throughout the day and night to try to keep the body from heating, even on a fair temperature day” (Shroyer).
My interview with Diana had a much more personal feel, not only because she is my cousin, but because she directly suffers from COPD. She currently resides in central New Jersey, somewhere it could be assumed it's quite temperate. However, due to our changing planet, this is becoming less true over time. She also went into detail about the symptoms that she faces on a daily basis.
“Well, I have COPD, so climate change, since it’s being messed with, and everything, it’s getting crazy… I can’t handle the extreme heat or the extreme cold. I think it’s very different from what it used to be. I can maybe -- I can’t even walk a block outside in the cold or in the extreme heat. That’s how it affects me” (Ivanitski).
At the end of my interview with both of them, I decided to pry a little more. I don't believe that they should suffer in silence, so I encouraged them to talk to me a bit about the changes they would like to see in order to benefit the lives of themselves and their loved ones. Mrs. Shroyer did not explain in detail the actions she would like to see taken in terms of government policies, but rather public awareness. 
“To be honest, I cannot say at this time, what steps I would like to see taken. Awareness is very important. I wish people understood more and were educated more on disabilities. it affects the daily lives of so many individuals.  My MS fighter struggles daily, so many symptoms are not visible to others but are very real” (Shroyer).
Diana, who is far wiser than me and has a few years on me, explained to me that it wasn't always like this; that this wasn't always an issue. Things used to be better, and people weren't suffering. The changes she would like to see are based more on policy and climate change as a whole.
“How it affects me? Well, I would like to see some changes as far as the way that it was. People are messing with it [the climate], and it’s gotten worse, because of that. I mean, look at in the Antarctic, it’s melting, and the polar bears are struggling. That’s a big issue” (Ivanitski).
It's common knowledge the climate change affects everyone, but some of us more than others. People with these illnesses in particular, along with an array of plenty others, are far more disadvantaged by the changing climate and global warming. Patients who have MS and COPD are being placed increasingly more dressed healthwise as a climate continues to change whether it be getting hotter or colder, more rain or more snow. Like everyone else, these people deserve the right to a comfortable life that is not plagued by worrying about where to go to escape their symptoms. The lack of effort to change our climate for the better is taking that away from them. 
In far more serious circumstances, the needs of everyone are not always met. For people living in high-risk disaster areas, knowing their disaster plans and escape routes are a must. However, in many of these plans, the disabled community is not considered. The fact of the matter is, we need to start recognizing climate change as a disability rights issue. Climate change affects everyone on the planet, but that disabled community is far more marginalized in these aspects than any other group. The effects of climate change strain the lives of the disabled community far more. The main way climate change affects the disabled community is by being left out of escape routes and plans. 
In an article published by "Rooted In Rights", these effects are highlighted when stated that “Extreme weather has created unprecedented heat, flooding, and drought, which puts a strain on my community’s well-being. Mobility, hearing, learning, or seeing disabilities can create specific needs that require extra time or consideration in an emergency evacuation, especially as accessible options become limited” (Rootedinrights.org). More often than not, disabled people's accommodations are not considered or met when designing escape plans. It cannot be assumed that every person living in the community has the same needs when it comes to disaster. In the event of a natural disaster, deaf people need ASL translators. Wheelchair-bound people need accessible shelters. People with life-sustaining machinery need adequate transport. Keeping the needs of the disabled community in mind when creating escape plans saves lives. This claim is more adequately stated by Rooted in Rights when they explain; "Disabled people must be involved in disaster planning for it to be effective and inclusive, and disabled disaster specialists in particular have a uniquely overlapping set of knowledge that communities should explore" (Rooted in Rights).  You cannot and will not have an effective natural disaster escape plan if you do not consider the needs of everybody in your community. 
The fact of the matter is, disabled people are more vulnerable than the rest. Our textbook highlights this claim when it states that "...exposure to risk in modern society is unevenly distributed across the population. That is because the burden of coping with the hazards of new technology and environmental pollutants often falls on the most vulnerable…” (151). The effects of any type of disaster will always follow most harshly on the most vulnerable people of any community. Even though climate change is in "everyone issue", disabled people are more marginalized and opressed by the effects that it has. This is where the concept of the "precautionary principle" comes into play. Our textbook defines a precautionary principle as “When an activity raises threats of harm to human health or the environment, precautionary measures should be taken even if some cause and effect relationships are not fully established scientifically" (127). Through the research presented throughout this paper, it can be assumed that scientifically, that disabled people are more affected by climate change and global warming. The activity harming human health, more specifically, the health of the disabled community, is the harsh reality of climate change. If we are to correctly follow the precautionary principle, we will begin to start to slow down the effects of climate change on disabled people. 
It has been scientifically proven that disabled people are marginalized in the sense of climate change. In a study entitled "Climate Change and Disability –Adjusted Life Years", it is stated that “Climate change with increased temperature might bring about more extreme weather events, which may have effects on both infectious and chronic diseases, including chronic respiratory disorders, heat- or cold-related illnesses… and psychological disorders…” (---). It cannot be denied that the effects of climate global warming are seriously affecting the lives of disabled people across the globe. What happens next... is up to us.
Despite the overwhelmingly grim tone of this paper, there are things that can be done in order to stop environmental ableism in its tracks. Firstly, it is important to keep plastic out of the ocean, and as much of it as we can. The people who choose to utilize reusable straws are impacting the environment in a positive way, even if it is in a small way. However, there needs to be a cultural shift in the way that we perceive people who use plastic straws. It must be understood that you do not have a right to anyone else's medical history, so you cannot ask people why they choose to use plastic straws. The disabled community should be able to use straws as freely as they want to without judgment or questions. Secondly, as a culture, we must begin to radicalize against those who harm our planet and increase our global temperatures. It must be understood by the members of our society that using a reusable bag instead of a plastic one does not have a very big impact in the grand scheme of things. It is time to blow the whistle and clear the smoke-screens that major corporations choose to hide behind. Instead of buying a metal straw to help the environment, we must normalize trying to create change on the government level, even if we are only citizens. Lastly, it should be encouraged by all people to check their hometowns and current towns escape plans to see if they include comedy for the disabled folk in their town. If not, it should be a harbinger to create change in their community. We should be encouraging people to go to their local governments and tell them " the needs of the disabled community and our town are not being met, and that is a cruel and inhumane way of navigating things." 
Ableism is a really tricky social issue to tackle. Environmental ableism is one of the most shadowed sections of ableism, but there are steps we can take to make real change and reduce environmental ableism in our community and in our world.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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Prevalent Ableism in America After Change
As is often the case in modern American culture, change is hard to come by. Even after years of advocacy, changes to the system, and acts being passed in Congress, ableism is still present in American society. The Americans With Disabilities Act, passed by Congress in 1990, was one of the most important steps towards change for disabled Americans, but it did not solve all the problems. The “Disability Studies Quarterly” explains it by saying “Disabled people, amidst political and social gains, continue to experience discrimination in multiple areas” (Ohio State University). Disabled people in America are still advocating for change in their communities. First and foremost, the “historic” plastic straw ban that passed this year hurt many with physical disabilities. There is also the myth that circulates society that mentally ill people are often violent. Furthermore, blaming mental illness after a tragedy; these are hurdles that disabled individuals face every day, even after the passing of the Americans With Disabilities Act.
         The Americans With Disabilities Act was a celebrated and important stepping stone towards change for disabled individuals everywhere. Essentially, the ADA “prohibits discrimination on the basis of disabilities in employment, public services, privately operated public accommodations, services, and telecommunications” (Walk). The act itself is divided into five sections, or tides; the first tide prevents discrimination of disabled people in workplace environments. The second allows disabled persons to hold government positions. The third requires public spaces and transportation to accommodate those with special needs, like requiring ramps at public buildings and buses to have lifts for wheelchairs. The fourth tide requires public telephones and other telecommunication places to have accommodations for the deaf and hearing impaired. The fifth tide simply “[clarifies the] ADA's relationship to other laws” (New York). Under such provisions, failure to comply can result in legal repercussions (Walk). The idea of the ADA is to allow disabled individuals in America to live comfortably in a world that was originally built for able-bodied people. However, only less than three decades after the original passing of the ADA, modern American society is regressing backward when it comes to the rights and comfortable living of disabled individuals. Things like banning plastic straws without considering those who need them, blaming of the mentally ill for tragic events, and overall stigma of people that lack “normal” qualities prove that America sees the newly created rights of disabled people as old news.
         The plastic straw ban that came into play earlier this year is one of the most recent things that show that disabled people are not often taken into account when laws are created. Many people in America with disabilities such as cerebral palsy, traumatic brain injuries, or general motor function issues often need one-use plastic straws in order to have a drink. Alternatives to plastic straws only cause more issues for people. “...metal, bamboo, glass and acrylic straws pose injury risks, especially for those with tremors, spastic episodes, and temperature sensitivity conditions” (Vallely). Furthermore, people with severe disabilities who require bringing things like medicine and machinery out with them in public are hurt by such a law because they now have to remember to bring their reusable straw. As disability rights activist Erin Vallely explains, “completely banning straws will lead to increased stigmatization of disabled individuals if we have to carry around our own, or request them” (Vallely). Having disabled people announce that they need a straw would make many of them uncomfortable. Straws should not be a “disabled person thing”, instead, they should be an everyone thing. Such a law even violates tide three of the ADA because it does not accommodate the needs of disabled people in society. The very idea that getting rid of a vital resource for the 48.9 million people in the United States with a disability is proof that disabled people do not even cross the minds of lawmakers (NSIP).
         The physically disabled are not the only ones who face discrimination in America. If we are to assume that the mentally ill are disabled in their own right, then it is safe to say that they face ableism as well, but in different ways. On a smaller scale, those with mental illnesses are discriminated against when it comes to asking for accommodations or receiving medical care (Leary). Due to the lack of understanding surrounding mental illness, when people seek care, “[it] often [leads to] inequitable treatment, such as forced institutionalization and medication and a lack of agency in treating one's mental health” (Zeilinger). In fact, people are often scared to seek help at all, in fear of being stigmatized. In an article published on NAMI’s website, they describe that “individuals and families are often afraid to seek help; health care providers are often poorly-trained to refer people to mental health professionals and/or mental health practitioners, and services are too often inadequately funded” (NAMI). Essentially, because people with mental illnesses are seen in society as dangerous and evil, instead of being treated with the necessary care they need, they are not listened to and thrown into asylums. On a larger scale, there is exploration as to why the mentally ill are stigmatized.
         One of the biggest and arguably the most upsetting ways that mentally ill people are stigmatized against is that society assumes them responsible for every national tragedy. In other words, society “[assumes that] mental illness is linked to terror” (Schultz). For example, in response to the 2017 Las Vegas shooting, Jimmy Kimmel opened his show with a monologue that was full of ableist language. Kimmel blamed the tragedy on Paddock’s mental health, even though it was found that “Paddock had no known mental health disorders” (Lochhead). Being mentally ill does not mean you are more likely to harm others. As author Kirsten Schultz puts it, “There are people who commit horrible acts without mental illness coming into play. Sometimes this is due to a lack of empathy and compassion for others. Other times, it’s arbitrary. Harming another person is not a symptom of mental illness” (Shultz). Society needs to shed itself of the belief that the mentally ill are going to hurt them. Demonizing the mentally ill is one of the most common issues that they face. It seems that society blames those without sound minds for heinous crimes, when in fact they are often the victims. “People with psychiatric disabilities are disproportionately victims of police brutality because of ableism” (Zeilinger). Research was done by North Carolina State University that shows that mentally ill individuals are far more likely to be the victims of a crime, rather than the perpetrator. The National Alliance on Mental Illness explains “...in accordance with current scientific evidence, that people who are receiving appropriate treatment and services for a mental illness are no more violent than the population at large” (NAMI). In short, not only are the mentally ill less likely to commit a crime, they largely benefit from proper medical care.  
         Change, however, is not impossible. As Huffington Post writer and editor, Rachel Hoge puts it, “...people with disabilities have finally gained the authority and deference to speak on social and environmental issues that directly affect their health...” (Hoge). Although it may seem that America is regressing backward, without the Americans with Disabilities Act, the disabled would not have a platform to speak freely to begin with. There is still a ways to go in terms of the rights that disabled Americans need to gain in order to live comfortably. Regardless, the Americans with Disabilities Act was an important stepping stone to change in the US for millions of disabled Americans. Things like the plastic straw ban and overall stigma of the mentally ill are hurdles that disabled people still need to overcome; but with support from able bodied people, change can come. When able bodied people recognize their privilege they have over the disabled, they will experience a call to action and back those who need support. The road for change for those with disabilities has been a long one, and there are still more hurdles to overcome. Ableism is still present in modern American society, but change is possible.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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black, purple, white, yellow
black
i wear these pride beads subtly.
just far enough down my wrist 
so that the colors may hide
underneath my wrinkled sleeve.
maybe she’ll ask what they mean
of not boy not girl not either not both nothing
how do you tell your mother her daughter is dead
when “she’s” standing right in front of her?
purple
there is no way that she doesn’t already know--
she follows me on all accounts
where my bio clearly reads
“sunny, 21, they/them”
yet every time i step foot
into that house (in which i
have never felt welcome)
she hugs me, tightly,
and says she’s glad
to have her daughter home.
to have her daughter home.
to have her daughter home.
to have her daughter home.
white 
i wonder if there is innocence in ignorance
if it’s better for her not to know
if it’s better to let her believe that my form,
my identity, my essence,
has remained unchanged
whether she knows or not
begins not to matter
it isn’t worth the uncomfortable conversation
i know will accompany my “coming out”
sure i’m in the closet
but the closet is clean
it is tidy
it is clear
it is glass
yellow
i think my boyfriends teeth are made of lace
and has a heart decorated with flowers
with a soul that has been washed with lavender soap
i don’t know, if when we go home,
and when i meet your parents,
if i will be able to remember
to use “she/her” pronouns for you.
it might be time to tell her.
it might be time to tell her.
it might be time to tell her. 
it might be time
to finally let go of the hand
of the dying woman 
who just wants to rest
and be forgotten
she tells me thank you
she tells me it’s for the best
she tells me good luck
and i will be sure
to visit her every once in a while
to leave a bouquet sunflowers 
on her grave
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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self-love poem
i am the language of water nymphs and i am the flavor of love honey glides through my veins and milk rains from above
i am the smell before the rainfall and am the sound of the winds i find myself again and am introduced with a grin i am the feeling of the sun warming your face i am sugar, i am powder, i am coffee, i am lace i am the dancing fingers of first love’s caresses and i am mine before i am anyone else’s.
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sunny-wight-writes · 2 years
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on the train that is taking me back to vermont
the bright red locomotive 
is skating down the tracks 
being showered by the moonlight
most passengers have their heads 
buried in their arms
attempting to dream
the few who remain awake 
are those who cannot get settled
since the coffee keeps flowing
(and only costs a dime)
the man to the left of me (hair made of cedar, eyes made of emeralds)
signals over the help in a hushed voice
and asks what he owes for the orange
“you seem adventurous”, says the woman in a red dress 
(teeth stained with coffee, fingers dusted with cigarette ash) 
as she slides into the seat across from me
and scares my tired body awake
i can only mutter a scoff 
(as i have no words to give her)
“another time, then” she slurs, in a phony alluring tone, 
playing with her faux gold necklace
as she collects herself out of my booth
a friendly voice behind me asks if 
“there’s anything i can do to help you, sir?”
i ask for one final cup of coffee, though i know i will be asleep 
by the time it reaches my hands…
… “pardon me” mumbles a voice 
as thick and rich as honey and cream
that pulls me out of my almost-slumber
“is this seat taken?” asks the cedar man
i clear my throat,
fumble for another coin
and shout down the aisle:
“ma’am? 
make that two.”
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