sunsekki

[sunsekki]

GAWD &&. GAWDINA

“perfection is such a burden!”, he cries aloud. “it’s a price worth paying.” she replies, softly.

@sunsekki

[sunsekki]

loycrd​:

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     her extra charming, sultry and perfect look alone resurrecting the building and gawd isn’t even surprised. he knows how amazing gawdina is and is extremely glad to have her accompany him on this wild journey called life. “thank you, gawdina. i appreciate it.” thumb and forefinger moving to form a heart, to show her his appreciation. he tries hard to not let those passing by to see it, as they would fall head over heels for his flawless and irresistible mannerisms. it was no wonder he was considered one of the world’s best idols and actors, alongside gawdina. “i’m having my 87th comeback this month, how are you doing?” not to boast or flex, he knows that gawdina is the only other person who truly understands the struggles of being too amazing.

♡

oh how easy it’d be to fall in love with him, gawdina thinks when he sends her one of his famous heart gestures and she probably would’ve if gawdina wasn’t immune to his impeccable charming gestures— but maybe not completely, after all, she still had her flaws even though she was perfect from head to toe, and her heart does fluster a bit in its rhythm with the other’s gesture. “everyone for you, oppa.” she winks at him. they only had each other in this world full of flawed people, of weak mortals and if they didn’t have each other’s back then no one else would. “87th? how time flies.” she says with a soft giggle, taking her shining and perfectly hydrated hair and pulling it in a ponytail as it changes colors to someone brighter and with highlights, letting her soft locks brush lightly on her back before turning to gawd again. “i’m also starring in my 87th drama as the female lead. should i ask for the producers to delay the premiere? after all, the two of us being active at the same time might be a little too much for the poor humanity.” 

[sunsekki]

gawdina stares back at gawd's perfectly brown orbs, her own widening just the slightly bit in surprise when she sees the damage that the other has caused. however, that shock quickly fades from the lines of expression on her pretty face. after all, she knows exactly what to do. firstly, she flips her shining and perfectly hair behind her shoulder, sends a charming and sultry look to the building that rebuilds itself since it couldn't bear to show such shameful image to someone as perfect as gawdina herself. then she looks at gawd again, a smug albeit humble smile on her lips. "don't worry, gawd oppa, i'll always have your back."

from → gawd for                  ↳ gawdina — @sunsekki

     gawd takes his perfect, slender fingers to rake through his equally perfect hair, as the building behind him suddenly explodes into infinite pieces. forgetting how truly all powerful he is, gawd shoots a glance over to gawdina, eyes peeled wide open in slight embarrassment. “oh gosh…” a red tint building over his cheeks, features glowing pink. 

[sunsekki]

no words 

[sunsekki]

hades is always worrying. it might not seem the case considering how little his expression changes through his day to day routine and it wasn't the case a couple of millennia ago. but then he meets persephone and everything changes like snow melts when spring comes — as cliche as that sounds, there's also a little of accuracy on that. but then he meets persephone and suddenly the world doesn't seem like a place that he can ignore that easily, not when she's in it, not when she is it. so hades worries about things that he didn't before, including most if not everything about his marriage, wonders about persephone not getting bored in the underworld even if she only spends half the year with him, wonders if at some point she doesn't just miss the outside world and the much more things that it offers on opposite of what the underworld can.

after all, persephone has always belonged to bright and warm, was born and raised on it, was fated to lovely things while hades was born to the cold and the dark.

that's why he decides that perhaps getting a vacation together somewhere would appease those worries and more importantly: it'd appease persephone, would show her that hades cares for her, that there's nothing that he wouldn't do for her. she also asked for this sort of vacation and hades was never really able to deny her anything, the only thing that he needed was time to make sure that the underworld wouldn't go up in flames while he was away because of course the original plan was to give persephone as much attention as she'd allow him to.

but then of course people still keep dying and hades should've known that his work would be endless anyway so here he is, still full of paperwork and any other kind of work even though he wished he'd spend more time with his wife and actually the comfort that he had in this situation was that at least persephone was surrounded by people living people so she's most likely just entertaining herself somewhere.

that's why it comes as a surprise when she shows up at his office, offering for them to go around the island together. hades hums, doesn't look up from his work even if he feels tempted to stop and he doesn't have that luxury. "are you bored?" he wonders with sigh, because of course that persephone finally wanting to spend time with him meant that she probably couldn't find entertainment in anything else and hades wonders to himself if he should look for somewhere else to entertain her.

he does look up when he feels a touch on his hand, doesn't hesitate in bringing persephone's hand to his lips but stops halfway in pressing a soft kiss on the delicate knuckles to scoff at her question since the idea of him hating her is just absurd, ridiculous, perhaps if persephone was anyone else than that'd be possible, even probable, but not her. not the only person that hades could never hate in all the realms. "has someone told you that?" he asks, doesn't think that he has to deny it because of how absurd it is. "was it your mother?" he tries to guess because it just seems something so demeter to try to badmouth him to his daughter.

or well, anyone in olympus really. "or were you talking to one of my brothers?" and he can't help how his frown deepens, his eyes turning into storms just thinking about his brothers close to his wife no matter what is the context of it.

from → persephone for          ↳ hades — @sunsekki

    with their recent move here, she felt nice about the change in scenery. hades had proposed this spontaneous trip that had required a lot more planning than she had anticipated, but anything with him was tolerable, even the most mundane of tasks. but not all things happened without a hitch, with the new change of atmosphere, she was excited to see a refreshed side to him, to see him be more adventurous and perhaps, even more colourful. his been rather dull lately, like he always has been and it came to no shock when she found sitting in his study. taking a peek inside, spotting the black silhouette that he always adorned no his frame, and knocking gently on the frame of the wooden door. “hades?” her tone was gentle, making her way to his side, “you do realise that there are other things happening outside of these study walls?” she lets a light chuckle leave her, eyes forming crescents for a moment as her head would tilt to get a better gaze at his features. 

     “come now, why don’t we go outside and see what nice things adorn this island?” her hands come to meet in front of her, a hand raising to gently grab at his own. its been a while since something so large had changed in their lives, this sudden move to mount phoenix was a pleasant surprise, and one she cherished so much. after countless pleas of wanting to traverse a land with wild and beautiful flora, hades had finally given in and her dreams were made. she was grateful for him but she couldn’t understand why he felt the need to be soo sombre around her. she was starting to think that he truly hated her, or at least a part of him found her distasteful. was it the dress? perhaps, the white tones were too bright for his liking. she should take note fo this, and find one that suits his black aesthetic. a black one will do. or was it her demanding nature? she did ask for a place to venture to, maybe she’s just too much work… too much effort now that his gotten her by his side. or does he have eyes for someone else? the thought alone has her gaze falling to the floor beneath, her gentle grip on his own hand falling alongside it, pulling back to fold her arms before her. “you don’t hate me, do you?” her tone is dejected as her features fall to a subtle frown, unbeknownst to her, a pout forms on her lips.

     she has been feeling this way for a while now. his colours had seemed to fade, and she was starting to see him in shades of black. she was starting to believe her own theories, perhaps he does hate her. she’s more of a burden than anything, now that she has all the free time in the world with him. 

[sunsekki]

loycrd​:

     hands still deep inside of his pockets, gaze directed at kiha as he spoke and before having been cut off, miles turns to their manager with a nod. at this point, he didn’t care where he was. whether it was back at their dorms or whether he was locked away in a practice room to peel back his anger. the anger that he was suppressing so well, the feigned composure that was illuminating his features, pasted on so well. kiha’s sudden request receives a raise of his brows, turning back to the other for a moment, before allowing his gaze to fall to his own shoes. he could hear the uncertainty in the manager’s response but eventually gives in to kiha’s pleas. to this, miles lets a subtle scoff heave from his shoulders, and as he hears their manager trail away, kiha’s voice returns. 

(...)

kiha could think that at this point he was a little more used with miles' angry fits, especially when he was expecting it to begin with — not that the other had those thar frequently with kiha around, just once or twice that kiha has seen him trash a whole practice room, just once or twice that he had to bandage up his friend's bloodied knuckles from either punching a wall or a mirror —, but even then it does catch kiha by surprise a little, the sudden punch on the wall. not enough to make kiha scared of course, because he'd never be able to be scared of miles, but enough that it does startles him, makes him wince. but instead of scaring his tears away, it just makes kiha want to cry even harder, makes him bite his bottom lip until it bleeds to hold back a sob and even then it fails to do so.

because that's the worse thing, kiha thinks. he knows that miles is angry, of course he is, why wouldn't he be? but the thing is that the other is holding back, is suppressing his anger because this is not the place nor the time, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't feel that anger, doesn't mean that things are fine just because he's holding back on lashing out on him.

it's worse because the only thing that kiha wants is for miles to give him one of those suffocating hugs, aggressive and strong in all the best ways that had kiha jokingly complaining that he couldn't breath. he just wants something more warmer than a simple pat on the head and he hates— loathes that he's the cause of why he can't have that anymore, because he ruined everything and now he's paying the price for it, not only him and miles as well— miles who is the most innocent in all of this, miles who just looks at kiha as his best friend, who is vulnerable around him because he trusts kiha enough for that.

the pat on the head makes him feel lonely and a little more broken. the main vocalist knows that it was just miles being generous and giving him what he could, but kiha is selfish and greedy, wants more than what is given to him, more than what he deserves and maybe because he wants to be different this time, to push himself and his desires to the side so much that he suggests— "m-maybe," and kiha hates how his voice cracks, how unsure it sounds, so he clears his throat, keeps a mantra on his head of this is the best for miles, this is the best for miles— "we shouldn't see each other for a while." because bad things happen when kiha is around, when kiha with feelings is around so with time away from miles, kiha will get over his feelings or more importantly: he'll stop hurting miles with them and they'll be able to be back to what they were.

"i'll talk to the manager hyung." he keeps saying but doesn't look up to miles, doesn't even turn to face him because kiha knows he'll lose his courage if he takes a simple look at miles. "i can spend a couple of days with my grandparents so don't worry, you won't have to move out of the dorm or anything."

[sunsekki]

loycrd​:

     the office felt smaller now, its usual large interior shrinking to the table between him and the ceo. he hears every word but all he can make up as a response was a mere tch from his clenched jaw. he knows the ceo is unpleased with his response and his attitude, miles was lucky that ceo was more charitable than anything, offering him a side eye along with his ranting. miles sitting back in his seat, hands angrily gripping onto the armrests, slouching as his head tilts downwards, gaze glaring up at the man before him. this shouldn’t even be a scandal to begin with, what the fuck. was his initial thought, am i really being hauled off into the ceo’s office just because i’m friendly with a fellow group member? a new fucking low. his breaks eye contact with the ceo, moving his gaze to roll in their sockets, tired. tired was what he felt and above that, was anger. 

     the ceo stops, allowing them to speak and kiha’s words catch him off guard. his dull hues light up, a new flame in his hazel orbs as his features scrunch to a frown, head shaking disapprovingly. but he doesn’t speak up, instead, he lets his gaze move down to the floor beneath them. he knew that if he were to speak a word, it would cause more trouble than it was worth, he wanted kiha to know that he’s trying his absolute best to keep his composure. the knuckles peering through his skin was not helping his case, i’m deeply sorry. i’ll do anything— i promise i’ll do anything, it’s my fault, i’ll take responsibility. and without looking, he knows the anguish kiha is feeling, his tone was evident enough, and no matter how hard he would try to suppress it, miles knew better then to jeopardise something in a moment like this. shut up. stop apologising, it’s not your fault. shut up, stop it. stop it. stop it. and before he knew it, he had slammed his fist onto the table in front, a fit of rage that he had tried so hard to suppress, so hard to keep down, so hard to bury. he doesn’t dare to lift his gaze, slowly retrieving his hand, as he slumps back onto the chair, being dismissed shortly after.

     upon being outside of the office, hands buried deep in his jumper’s pocket. a suspension of activities? and for what? this is so fucking stupid. his train of thought interrupted as kiha continues to apologise, even after having left the ceo’s office. miles turns to the other, he allows his gaze to rest on the distressed kiha before him. the shaking voice, the tears out the brim of his eyes, this, this was not the kiha he wanted to see. this was not the kiha he ever wanted to see. and almost by instinct, he reaches out a hand, about to embrace the other but pauses, letting his arm fall limp too his side. the ceo did tell them to keep their interactions short and to be less… touchy. whatever that meant.

     he lets out a sigh, more irritated than anything, “sorry for what?” his features perhaps too impassive to make his words sound sincere, and for the first time, he had spoken up about the matter. this was the media’s fault. it’s all that fucking guys fault, the one at the cafe. i saw him taking pictures. i bet it’s him. he’s the one that wrote the article. his gaze narrowing, taking a deep breath as to keep his calm composure. “you have nothing to be sorry for.” he settles with a gentle pat on the other’s back, a quick one, before taking his hand back inside his pocket. “this is so fucking stupid.” he mutters under his breath, as their manager reappears from their ceo’s office. 

kiha would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised about miles' reaction, especially after the punch on the table when they were still in the meeting with the ceo. kiha would be lying if he said he was expecting miles to be this calm, long gone were the times that he'd joke that the other could get at angry at the world but never at kiha, it almost makes him too confused to cry, too bewildered to to let the tears on his eyes fall and to make the sobs stuck on his throat go away. perhaps because he feels more lonely and lost than he has ever felt on his life, because usually at this point he knows miles would at least have an arm around him because the other knows how much kiha relies on affection, how much he needs it.

and that's another problem, isn't it? another thing that the ceo yoon spared no words to throw and rub all over kiha's face, how unnecessarily clingy he is— almost shaming him for a behavior that he couldn't completely control, especially with people he was comfortable with, especially when it was something that he needed out of the close relationships that he had in a way or another. kiha comes from a loving home (not necessarily from loving parents, but more like loving grandparents) and affection was simply something that he had given to him in abundance especially when he was the youngest in the family so it only made sense for him to grow up not being able to live without it, to be an affectionate person himself.

he never thought that was a problem, not when everyone was so receptive of it, when there are a million and one compilations of fans made with love about him being clingy to crescent in general, not only to miles— until of course it blows up on his face, on miles' face, on crescent's face and it's just pure irony of the universe that even now; even after getting an almost hour lecture about how they should be more mindful of each other when in public, that they should've known better than to be as close they've been where there could be cameras, kiha still craves the affection, a tear almost escapes when he receives a short pat miles instead of the bear hug he'd receive at any other moment.

it makes kiha feels lonely even if that notion is beyond stupid because miles is right in front of him. "because i just—" ruined their whole career he wants to complete his words but then kiha is interrupted by their manager who seems as tired as the main vocalist feels, simply warning them that they should get going to the car that he's going to drive them back to the dorm.

"actually—!" kiha starts and the manager turns his attention to him. "is it ok if i talk to miles alone? just for a moment?"

the manager seems torn, probably receiving the order that miles and kiha should not be left alone for longer than strictly necessary, but kiha still pulls his puppy eyes — much more effective now that they're red on the edges and extra bright because of the unshed tears, much more effective because kiha seems even smaller when he's feeling distressed — and the manager is sighing heavily, telling kiha that he has just the time for him to solve a couple of minor things with some other staff, but they're still leaving soon.

kiha tries to smile gratefully, but it ends up being just small and strained, a soft thank you, hyung escapes his lips before he turns to miles again, frown replacing that awkward smile. "why aren't you mad?" kiha asks as soon as they're alone again, a frown replacing that fake smile. "why aren't you mad at me? i was the one who suggested the cafe and then i was all over you. then there was also the lock screen picture and—" so many moments, compilations and more compilations of kiha being a little too friendly with miles, thinking that being childhood friends would justify any and everything. i like you also gets stuck on kiha's throat, refuses to come out to either to be swallowed back down or to rest on the tip of his tongue but to be never said anyway.

"this whole mess is my fault." he repeats what he has said in the ceo's office instead. "you should be throwing things and cussing at me, why aren't you doing anything? miles i—" then kiha's voice cracks along with his composure, the first tear falling and then he can't stop, he can't.

"i ruined your happiness." kiha tries to brush the away the tears the best that he can but they just keep coming. "your dream, i ruined everything."

[sunsekki]

closed starter for @loycrd

the only thing that kiha can think about while the ceo rants and rants about their responsibilities as a group and the images that they have to keep for the sake of their career is that he has gone there and done it, that he has just indeed ruined not only his whole career — which would be much easier to deal with in regards of guilt — but miles and probably crescent's as well. that because he couldn't keep his feelings to himself, couldn't control his stupid affection, because he was an idiot and naive, not thinking that his close relationship with miles would ever be misread like that, that the same affection that he has showed his best friend throughout all these years would come back to bite him in the ass like this.

after all, isn't it normal to friends to have pictures of each other in their cellphones? isn't it normal to friends to hug each other? isn't it normal to friends to speak informally to each other? isn't it normal—

maybe it would be. maybe. but kiha has known for a while now that what he feels towards miles isn't what a friend feels towards another friend. that no matter how much he tries, there's only so much he can do to convince himself that his gestures towards miles were as platonic as the first day they met, that he could deny his own feelings, push them away and pretend they don't exist but here they are. here they are. even if they're not in that kind of relationship, kiha's stupid feelings still managed to get in the way, to ruin things.

he's— he's so—

"sorry." he finally speaks up when the ceo gives them a turn to speak. kiha doesn't look up, bows his head as low as he can, hands tightly clenched in fists and he hopes his voice doesn't shake, doesn't let it known the lump on kiha's throat, how much he's holding back to not start bowling his eyes out no matter how full of tears they get, no matter how his lips shake almost in a sob. "i'm deeply sorry. i'll do anything— i promise i'll do anything, it's my fault, i'll take responsibility." because he's the one who is careless with his affection, the one who is always reaching out too much, who is too open, so it's only fair he gets most of the punishment, of the backlash.

miles didn't do anything bad, isn't the one with the wrong feelings.

at least the ceo seems a little more appeased then, dismisses both him and miles with just a suspension of their activities in crescent until the rumor dies down or at least they have a better way to deal with it.

and that's where they're now, in one of the many offices in the yuseong building while their manager is the one speaking to the ceo now, most likely still about the scandal between him and miles and again kiha can't help— "i'm sorry." he still tries to hold himself together but it's much harder when it's just him and miles, when it's just a simple reflex at this point to let go when he's around his friend, so his voice shakes and his eyes fill up with new tears when he has just managed to blink the old ones away. "i know i ruined everything and you're probably mad—" because miles is always mad, at something or at someone, imagine now. "but i—" what? kiha knows that promising that he'll fix everything, that everything will be ok will be just empty words because he doesn't know if everything will be alright, if he'll ever be able to make everything better, he just— he's—

"i'm so sorry."

[sunsekki]

categorizing your jikook hugs for your convenience

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[sunsekki]

you can look but don’t touch… unless you’re park jimin

( @userjiminie​ you asked, and i am happy to deliver 😏 )

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