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do you draw with your elbows in a gymnasium full of flickering fluorescent lights and the smell of expired protein powder? because that’s the only explanation for whatever that art was. it looks like someone barfed up a high school pep rally and then tried to reassemble it blindfolded with a glue stick. every limb you draw is a cryptid. i’ve seen folding chairs with better anatomy. are those hands or is the character just mid-mutation? i swear your color palette has the emotional range of a locker room floor. wet, beige, and vaguely sticky. i can hear the squeak of bad sneakers and regret in every brushstroke. honestly it feels like your art crawled out of the lost and found box under the bleachers and immediately got a concussion. it's gym class at 7am all over again.
maybe just… sit down for a second. breathe some fresh air that doesn’t smell like axe body spray and melted gatorade. rethink everything. or don’t. i’m not your art teacher. just someone who had to witness that.



some misadventures doodles featuring dennis
happy (slightly late) birthday to martyn
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hey rotting orange.
i just want you to know — from the deepest, most bile-soaked corner of my soul — that your art makes me feel like my eyeballs are pissing on themselves out of sheer distress. you post like you genuinely think you’re doing something. you draw like perspective personally insulted you in middle school and you’ve been on a revenge mission ever since. how do your characters look like they’re simultaneously deflating and exploding?? pick a direction. pick a shape. pick up a book. jesus. it’s like walking into a room where someone has peed all over the floor and then framed the puddle like it’s a gallery piece. the anatomy? piss. the color palette? expired piss. your attitude in the tags? a 2008 deviantart pee-fueled meltdown with extra ego and zero irony. your linework looks like you’re trying to thread a needle while falling down the stairs. do you not believe in pressure sensitivity? do you draw with a spoon? it's like you traced a sketch with a wet spaghetti noodle and then said “yeah that’s the one.” and don’t even get me started on your color theory. i’ve seen more cohesive schemes on barf bags. i genuinely believe your compositions are a cry for help. like your characters are all trying to escape the canvas at once but can’t because you flattened them into this absolute mosh pit of bad decisions. it’s claustrophobic in a way that isn’t deep it’s just bad planning. you don’t compose. you hoard visual GARBAGE. and the worst part? you think you’re edgy. you think because you drew eyes everywhere it makes your art look edgy and cool. learn to take a step back and realize not everything you make is sacred. sometimes it's okay to look at something and go “yeah. this is pee. i should try again.” anyway, get better. or don’t. just stop posting like the floor's not already wet.
hate from the VERY bottom of my bladder.


more Jon
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