surveyyyys

[surveyyyys]

It’s 2020.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I got really into fitness! I started lifting weights multiple times a week, and really taking care of my body. I put on a lot more muscle over the past year, and I finally actually like my body a lot! On a related note, I also went to a professional east coast bodybuilding competition. I didn't go for myself obviously, but I went to support my boyfriend.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Actually I did! I was one of those cheesy people who wanted to get in shape and start working out in the new year. I actually stuck to it, and working out became a really big part of my life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope I don't think so!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? I stayed in the US the whole year... but I think that's gonna change in 2020!

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Complete personal and financial independence, and a fresh start. And it's going to happen! I'm starting my first real job in June, and I'm moving into NYC. I'm graduating college too. It's gonna be a big year for me.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 24, the day I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a solid full-time Equity Research analyst position in NYC for after graduation.

9. What was your biggest failure? I tried to stay single. I really did. I wasn't necessarily happier when I was single, but my head was clearer and I was always on top of my shit. But I couldn't stay truly single in 2019 for more than a month or more without being dragged into some stupid situationship with a guy that ended up expiring after 2 months. At the end of 2019, I ended up getting into a real relationship. I feel like I've spent a lot more of my young adult life in relationships or situationships rather than by myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I didn't actually!

11. What was the best thing you bought? This personal barbell pad. It makes hip thrusts and squats so much easier. I also got a couple hip circles for glute activation exercises. They changed my glute training because I finally started feeling exercises in my glutes... they're the reason I have a butt now!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? This is gonna sound conceited but... mine? My world-famous Career Anxiety got me a full-time job in the first month of my senior year. Plus I absolutely killed it at my last internship and I learned a ton.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My sister's on-again-off-again boyfriend... he's awful. The administration of the student organization I had to quit. The boy I dated during the entirety of Summer 2019 -- he sucked.

14. Where did most of your money go? Starbucks and Amazon hehe

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A couple things: Finally making progress at the gym and seeing my body change Doing a good job on my final presentation during my internship That one time I went out with my intern friends and got shitfaced and had probably the most fun I had in all of 2019 Getting into a relationship with my current boyfriend; I didn't think it would end up being a real relationship. Getting my full-time job offer in NYC (by far the most exciting)

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Evelyn by Kim Tillman! It's my theme song and I discovered it in 2019.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. ii. thinner or fatter? I would say bulkier. I look bigger, but I turned a lot of the "skinny fat" I had on me into muscle. iii. richer or poorer? Much richer for sure!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? LOL towards the end of 2019, I kinda let my grades fall by the wayside because I thought I had it all figured out. I wish I studied more at the end because I could've preserved my GPA and saved myself a lot of needless studying. This is out of my control but -- I wish I had a chance to drink and party more. 2019 was an almost entirely sober year... I only got really drunk once in the entire year. I think that actually contributed to how dry and sad I was for most of the year!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Listening to Ariana Grande LOL. This one is also out of my control -- I wish I spent less time alone. I spent the majority of last year sitting in my apartments at school and talking to my voice diary and trying to make sense of my personality and the reasons why I was alone. I did eventually become content with my alone time, but I wasn't really happy. I wish I had a more active social life. I also wish I spent less time with that boy over the summer. He was a waste of time.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I was at home for winter break on Christmas. I don't think I really did anything!

21. Did you fall in love in 2019? Yes! I fell in love with my current boyfriend. I also thought I loved the summer guy, but I really didn't.

22. What was the best holiday this year? Halloween! I think I had the most fun that day out of all the other holidays.

23. How many one-night stands? I don't think I had any one night stands this year! That was all 2018 me.

24. What was your favorite TV program? I don't know actually. I don't think I watched that much TV in 2019. I just binged the Good Place though, but idt that was my favorite.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My apartment-mate (not my roommate, she's great). I also hate her ex boyfriend. I also hate this toxic horrible friend I used to have. I cut her out in 2019.

26. What was the best book you read? LOL the only book I read was Tina Fey's autobiography. It was pretty good!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Again, Evelyn by Kim Tillman.

28. What did you want and get? A job. And Gymshark clothes from my parents!

29. What did you want and not get? Honestly, fun memories and a social life. Also this one first-year teaching position at my university.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Joker! (Unpopular opinion, but it's the truth!)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? At midnight on my birthday, I was having really good sex. Then I went into work and had a pretty productive day! Then at night, I had sushi with my sister.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying? If my boyfriend had gotten into nursing school. It would've been perfect. But now he has a new career and new aspirations to work towards. Maybe it's for the best and maybe he'll be happier! We'll see.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? I mean, I spent most of the year in sweatpants. I moved away from the bold makeup and the fashion choices I made in the past. But I did start buying a lot of athletic gym leggings and sports bras! My favorite Look TM of this year is my staple matching sports bra and leggings set that I wear to the gym.

34. What kept you sane? The gym, definitely. And my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ariana Grande apparently LOL. Also Hanna Oberg!

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Trump's impeachment. But I think that stirred everyone. (I mean it in a good way, I'm glad Trump was impeached.)

37. Who did you miss? My ex boyfriend for a brief time. I still wasn't over him in the beginning of last year. I also missed all the friends I lost. I hated them and they sucked, but at least they kept me company.

38. Who was the best new person you met? My boyfriend!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I'll tell you a couple: - Anyone can be anything. Barriers to entry are minimal, and you can end up doing something you never thought you would. - You can tell yourself you're going to go out and chase your dreams, and you can tell yourself you're running away from a stable and boring life. But you have to truly want it and believe in it for it to happen. If you don't dedicate yourself 100% to that crazy dream inside and out, you will end up opting for the backup plan. - You are your best when you're making first impressions. - Just because you're not strong enough to follow your dreams doesn't mean you should discourage other people from doing what they want to do with their life (as long as it's within reason). If someone you love is willing to put in the effort to chase a dream they believe is worth it, you should support them, even if it seems risky. Try to minimize the risk, but don't knock down the plan altogether.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Every blue moon I get convinced that I can't ever make it happen by myself. I've been awake to see the day devour the night. I've seen decay give way to growth and make the most of nearly nothing, Till human voices break us and we drown, we drown, Seductive and impeccable abuse. You do it to yourself, I bet you know you do. I love you 'cause I do it to you too.

[surveyyyys]

Do you regularly… paint? draw? drink coffee? drink tea? curl your hair? straighten your hair? pray? read the Bible? worship? play online games? watch movies? watch television? read books? daydream?

Would you ever… dye your hair a wild color? get a tattoo? get a piercing? bungee jump? skydive? dance in public? sing a solo? travel to Africa? ride an elephant? travel to Europe? travel to Asia? travel solo? travel to New York City? ask out your crush? Can you… sing? dance? play an instrument? touch your nose to your tongue? lick the tip of your nose? do the splits? do a cartwheel? draw? write neatly? write in cursive? speak another language? whistle? pop your fingers out of joint? read minds? Are you… lovely? beautiful? double jointed? artistic? bold? boring? encouraging? loving? nice? positive? passive? passionate? ambitious? sensitive? honest? romantic? intelligent? unique? creative? generous? miserable? optimistic? pessimistic? mentally ill? sane? weird? different? special? anointed? Do you like… math? tea? coffee? English? writing in cursive? creative writing? to dance? to sing? to pray? chocolate? smoothies? sushi? pie? playing Truth or Dare? Have you ever… tried to redo your room to make it look like a room you saw on Pinterest? tried to give yourself a hairstyle you found online? set up a prayer corner in your room? had an imaginary friend? written on the side of a bathroom stall? fallen asleep with your clothes on? fallen in a pool fully clothed? gotten sick from inhaling nail polish remover? realized that life is amazing? thought about ending your life? cried in public? sat on a rooftop with a friend? written a letter to a celebrity? wished on a shooting star? Do you remember… Gigapets? Pikachu? Pokemon cards? Furby? pogs? the show Taina? the show Caitlin’s Way? when the Spice Girls performed on All That? when the very first episode of Spongebob aired? what you were doing on Sept. 11, 2001? Aaron Carter? N'Sync? choker necklaces? “LiveStrong” wristbands? Did you ever… play with Barbies? own an American Girl doll? watch Nickelodeon? obsess over a celebrity? crush on a celebrity? have imaginary friends? play tag? take swimming lessons? take ballet? take piano lessons? have the flu? have to go to the hospital? dream of running away as a teenager? get picked first in gym class? Do you/have you listened to… Avril Lavigne? Carrie Underwood? Taylor Swift? Paramore? Black Eyed Peas? A-Teens? Play? Aaron Carter? The Backstreet Boys? The Spice Girls? S Club 7? Hillsong? Casting Crowns? The Jonas Brothers? Have you ever played… Monopoly? Truth or Dare? Heads Up 7 Up? Red Rover? Tic Tac Toe? Four Square? Apples to Apples? Chutes and Ladders? Bingo? Uno? Go Fish? Never Have I Ever? Two Truths and a Lie? If You Really Knew Me? Roller Coaster Tycoon? American Girls Premiere? Operation? Candy Crush Saga? Mahjong Titans? Yahtzee? YoVille/YoWorld? Mario Party? Mario Kart? Zelda? The Sims? Pac Man? Skee ball? poker? beer pong? Do you like these names (for a girl)?… Skye Skylar Eliana Claire Sierra Madison Peyton Aurora Bianca Joanna Siona Felicity Ellery Epiphany Do you like these names (for a boy)?… Deklan Dylan Denver Dallas David Adam John Spencer Ryan Storm Scott Justin Meverick Brennan Would you ever dye your hair… dark brown? light brown? blonde? gray? white? purple? pink? green? teal/turquoise/aqua? burgundy? red (the natural hair color red)? red (as in, bright red)? magenta? periwinkle? Would you ever get a tattoo of… a cross? a peace sign? a quote? someone’s name? a heart? something insignificant? a skull? a flower? a Japanese symbol? a continent? an elephant? an awareness ribbon? a fish? stars? What are you allergic to? dust pollen mold pet dander mosquitoes bees peanuts tree nuts another food a medication latex grass a type of glue or paint? Have you ever been… bullied? excluded? persecuted? harassed? molested? abused? raped? assaulted? yelled at? shoved? hurt? heartbroken? sick? shy? embarrassed? loved? complimented? insulted? discriminated against? hugged? attacked? fired? homeless? close to being homeless? manipulated? lonely? isolated for a long and unhealthy period of time? neglected? ignored? Do you consider yourself… beautiful? spiritual? religious? gifted? talented? unique? free-spirited? gentle? free? alone? carefree? alive? blessed? spoiled?

[surveyyyys]

Got into a car accident?

Ran away from home? Watched Disney movies as an adult? Skipped work/school just for the heck of it? Lied to your parents? Cheated on your bf/gf? Smoked pot? Kissed someone 20+ years older than you (who isn’t a family member)? Liked someone who was out of your league? Hated someone? Got into a fight? Got in trouble with the law? Drank alcohol? Partied in high-school? Listened to country music? And hated it? Been bullied? Rebelled against everyone? Met the opposite gender of yourself? Graduated high-school? Gone to college? Collected something? Watched all Lord of the Rings movies? How about Harry Potter? Star Wars? Considered yourself to be a nerd? Took a cooking class in high-school? Read the same book over 8+ times? have/had a best friend quite older than you? have/had a friends with benefits? been with your bf/gf longer than 7 years? lost a best friend through death? lost all your grandparents? loved a friend but was too shy to admit it? watched an Edward Norton movie? heard of Kurt Cobain? had a favorite band? watched the movie Death to Smoochy? voted for president? watched the Chicago Cubs win the World Series in 2016? had lice? dressed up as something silly for Halloween? questioned your life choices? been to rehab? shot a gun? played the Sims (any of them 1-4)? played Skyrim? owned an old fashioned video game console? watched Wall-E? wrote in a dream journal? bought and used tarot cards? bought and used an Ouija board? believed in God? believed in nothing? believed in a Higher Power? been to a professional football game? went to see the same movie in theaters more than once? been diagnosed with a disorder? been to a therapist? sang in front of a crowd? played an instrument? failed a class? been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? been on a road trip with friends? had a friend use you? loved yourself? googled something strange? had a obsession with something/someone? lost a parent? lost a pet? cried so much you felt numb? cut yourself? tried to commit suicide? had depression? listened to a full album? wore a tie-dyed shirt? went to Disney World/Land? talked on the phone with someone almost all day? texted so much that your thumbs hurt? wrote a story? And actually finished writing the story? missed someone so much it hurt? wished you were young again? lied about your age? became friends with someone who was your enemy at one point? hated your parent/parents? hated your school? hated your job? wished upon a star? seen a ghost or anything paranormal? played board games all night? listened to music in the dark? stargazed? had a fear of something?

[surveyyyys]

You’re kind of a loner You are a Leo You are a Taurus You actually like the way you look usually You’re afraid to put your head underwater You almost drowned once You have an older brother Your brother is somewhat famous You have a cat (well my sister has a cat... sometimes i pretend its mine) You have a dog You have a hamster You’re extremely shy You have social anxiety You hate all sports You don’t have a best friend these days You drink soda at least once a day You’ve been in a relationship for 4+ years You’ve kissed eight people in your lifetime You’ve had six boyfriends/girlfriends in your lifetime You watch a lot of shows on Netflix You only read fiction/fantasy books You’re addicted to the Sims   You have at least two Sims expansions You also love music games like Rocksmith, Rock Band, and Singstar You actually enjoy playing games like WoW, LoL, and Final Fantasy Online You don’t live with your parents You love Rami Malek You’ve never asked anyone out Everyone you’ve dated has been older than you You can touch your nose with your tongue You can kick the back of your head Your favorite foods are Italian and Greek food You also love Indian food lately You’ve been to other countries You’ve been on another continent You have a very busy schedule all the time You rarely get to hangout with people You’re in a band You’ve hungout with bands before You love concerts You love alternative rock You also love electronic/dubstep You’ve been driving for at least a year You have your own car Your house is always messy You watch anime every now and then Your favorite TV show is Vampire Diaries You also love American Horror Story and The Walking Dead You’re in college You’re not a teenager anymore You are good at drawing You procrastinate a lot You’re afraid of throwing up You’ve never did anything self-destructive Your biggest fear is death You’re not a picky eater at all You love food You love sleep You’re not really into partying You hate alcohol You rarely drink alcohol You drink alcohol all the time You dye your hair an unnatural color You have green eyes You wear makeup daily You absolutely love having new clothes You wear glasses occasionally (I wear them everyday so kinda LOL)  You never wear contacts You had braces when you were younger You have been/are in a relationship with a Capricorn You have been/are in a relationship with a Pisces Your grades aren’t as good as you’d like them to be You are a music major You used to love myspace You now love facebook, and go on it everyday You also love Instagram and use that everyday You have a Tumblr You hate Twitter and find it pointless You’ve had all your wisdom teeth pulled Your parent has cancer You know someone who has cancer Your other parent is bipolar Your parents are still together, but fight a lot You’ve moved across the country You live in the USA You live near the west coast You live near the east coast You live in the midwest You have a job You love your job You hate your job You’re a cashier/barista You work in retail You’re a waiter/waitress You’d like to find a new/better job You’re afraid to kiss your significant other in front of your parents You’re afraid to tell others that you have a significant other for reasons You love Halloween and dressing up You take quite a few selfies You have no piercings or tattoos You really want tattoos You want to get married in the next five years Your want to have kids in the next ten years You have no intention of wanting kids but wouldn’t mind company Your consider your significant other’s family to be your family Your significant other can sometimes get on your nerves but you still like/love them anyway Your significant other is someone who understands you Your significant other is a smoker You have a very slight accent You’re very pale You’re of Russian descent You are Jewish You’re a really good singer You play piano You play flute You can’t dance You’ve never slow danced Your high school prom sucked You’re really good at spelling You’re pretty bad at math You hate chemistry You’re pretty good with languages You can speak 3+ languages, but just one fluently You are pro-choice You want gay marriage legalized (it’s already legal, but who knows how long that shits gonna last) You’re straight You want marijuana legalized in all states You wish alcohol was illegal You wish you had bigger boobs You’re very petite You’re average You’re overweight You rather not disclose what you are You are 5’5” You like vintage You live with your significant other You live in an apartment Your significant other makes much more money than you You believe in God You pray daily Your first kiss was terrible You smoke weed sometimes You’ve smoked hookah before You’ve never smoked a cigarette and don’t plan to You’ve never done any real drugs and don’t plan to You love romantic comedies You love musicals You’ve been in musicals You only have two living grandparents You also have a step-grandparent You have six first cousins You can never seem to find matching socks You love chocolate You try to be optimistic You get depressed sometimes You’re really self-conscious You’ve dated people before that you haven’t even liked You’ve had 2+ serious relationships You’ve had sex with two people in your lifetime Your hair won’t seem to grow anymore You straighten your hair too much Your nails are always shorter than you’d like You’ve been to both Disneyland and Disneyworld You’ve been to Universal Studios You’ve been to the Harry Potter World You never get super drunk You love wearing studs You love wearing lace You love wearing animal prints Your favorite colors are aqua, purple, and black You’re not a virgin

[surveyyyys]

1. What’s one thing you would like to change about yourself?

I would like a bigger butt. I know that this seems like such a superficial stupid thing, but ever since I started working out I began noticing so many little things about my body. There are definitely things I love and that come easy to me (ex. my toned arms/shoulders, my lil two pack and flat stomach) but there are some stubborn parts of my body that just don't seem to change. So my new goal is to have a butt. I don't have a specific time frame for it, but I want it to be here at some point.

2.  Are you religious or spiritual?

Neither.

3.  Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?

I'm definitely an extrovert!

4.  Are you more into looks or brains?

These days, honestly, I'm more into looks. I've been taking so much time to level up how I look. And I've been feeling good about myself! I don't know, I think I would want someone who does the same.

5.  What is a relationship deal breaker for you?

It's always the same one -- boys who don't know where they're going in life. They don't have a one-year plan (let alone a five-year plan). They don't have any goals or any passion or drive. It just doesn't make sense to date someone who isn't passionate or working towards anything, since my drive is about 90% of my personality these days.

6. What’s your favorite book of all time and why did it speak to you so much?

Definitely The Book Thief. I think it's the way it's written, and the narrator's point of view. The choppy and dark writing style reeled me in when I was still an edgy preteen. Now I like the writing for the way it deals with human emotions in a simultaneously involved and detached way. Also, every time I read the book, I seem to find something new that jumps out at me within it. That's why I marked it up so much over the years!

7.  Would you ever take back someone who cheated?

LOL. I had the opportunity to, and I didn't. So now I know I never will!

8.  How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

LOL I've never really been super protective over my passwords. I tell everyone my passwords, so naturally, I think I'd tell my partner too.

9.  When do you think a person is ready for marriage?

This may be a cynical way of looking at it, but I think it's when society starts really pressuring you to get married. This doesn't necessarily mean stupid aunties and uncles asking you when you're getting married... it's more like seeing all your friends get married one by one. Or like having all your Instagram and Youtube ads feature families and spouses. Or having your coworkers taking days off to deal with their kids/spouses instead of going on trips and stuff. When everyone around you starts growing up and starts expecting you to do so, I think you start to grow up too.

10.  What kind of parent do you think you will be?

I think I will be like my mom if she was happy, and married to the right man. I'll be firm about things like mental and physical health, but loose about the classic Indian Parent Restrictions. But my mom was also loose with me when it came to career and academic success, and I don't think I'll be like that. I think I'll expect a lot of my kids and expect them to work hard, because I'll remember how much of a hard worker I was when I was their age. I think I might be guilty of projecting a lot of my own insecurities onto my children.

11.  Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Not particularly close to me, but someone that played a pretty significant role in the lives of people around me.

12.  If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?

I tend to isolate myself when I'm in a bad mood, but in reality, I always feel better after spending time with a lot of people. Honestly, most of the time I'm sad it's because I'm feeling lonely or neglected, so isolating myself doesn't help anyone.

13.  Are you confrontational?

I'd like to say that I am, and I am definitely confrontational when I feel like it's necessary. But like everyone else, I don't LOVE confrontation.

14.  Would you relocate for love?

LOL nope.

15.  Did you ever write a journal?

I kept many journals over the years! I used to have many written journals when I was in middle school and early high school. I came up with a bunch of my own languages so no one would be able to read what I was writing -- but they were actually pretty complicated, and though I could write in them like English, I read them at a much slower speed. So I moved to a password protected diary on my computer, and that worked for a while. But after my first year of college I got a lot busier and I didn't have time to write lengthy diary entries anymore. Now I have a voice diary, which is basically just me recording myself talk through my problems. It seems to be working pretty well! But sometimes I do need to write stuff down, so I do and just save it on my Evernote account.

16.  What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?

People always think I'm quiet or that I don't put myself out there. And it makes me extremely upset, since that's pretty much all I do. I put myself out there time and time again, but I don't really see results from my efforts (at least so far). I love spending time with other people, it's just my circumstances that isolate me sometimes. And people don't seem to get that.

17.  What did your past relationship teach you?

A couple different things: You can want to be with a man, but you never need to be with him. There is nothing that a guy can add to your life except the comfort of someone else's presence. In fact, most relationships take away more than they provide. You cannot change someone who does not internally want to be changed. You cannot motivate them or push them to mature. They won't do those things unless they want to, and if they never want to, they never will. It is completely possible and even common for relationships to be unbalanced. It is very rare that the work that goes into keeping a relationship afloat is split 50-50. Rose colored goggles are absolutely a thing when you're in love. And sometimes you need a rude awakening to take those goggles off. Your instincts, no matter how "crazy" or questionable they may be, are ALWAYS correct. The truth always comes out.

18.  What are your thoughts on online dating or tinder?

I think it's a necessary evil. It's become the only way people really get into relationships these days, which is pretty sad. But waiting around for a meet-cute or a movie moment just isn't practical in 2019, you know?

19.  What’s on your bucket list this year?

Get a tattoo Get a full-time offer in a company that matches my standards and goals Get into shape (and I mean REALLY get into shape... I want to look at home in a pair of Gymshark leggings, you know what I mean?) Start eating more and taking care of myself more Spend more time with my sister Take a small trip somewhere within my reach. Like the beach, Philly, that kind of thing.

20.  What do you define as a family?

My nuclear family. I don't like thinking of outsiders as members of my family. I don't even like calling people my best friends. My family is made up of the people who were there when I was born, and the people who will be there when I die.

21.  Are my parents happy with the person I have become?

Reasonably. They definitely wish I was more traditional and I was more like them. They don't realize that they are not traditional themselves, and I'm more like them than either of us want me to be.

22.  What relaxes me?

Listening to music that I connect with in that moment, rooms that are like 80+ degrees, soft lighting, long conversations with people I trust, getting stoned alone on a night when I know I have nothing to do.

23.  Can you handle the rigors of a long distance relationship?

Definitely not.

24. What will people say at your funeral?

I have no idea... I don't know what kind of person I will be by the time I'm dead.

25. If you lost everything tomorrow, whose arms would you run into to make everything okay?

My older sister's LOL.

26. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

Finding some way for me to work.

27. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Definitely!

28. What were you doing when you last lost track of the time?

Taking this survey.

29. What can you do today that you couldn’t do a year ago? What will you be able to do at this time next year?

I can confidently say where my career is headed. And I hope so!

30. If you could ask for one wish, what would it be?

I would never want to feel lonely again. And I would want that wish to be granted earnestly without any tricks... I'm really exhausted in that aspect of my life LOL.

31. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

I think my actual home does, where my parents live. I'm reminded of comfort, but I'm also reminded of loneliness and the depression I fell into so many times when I was here for an extended amount of time LOL.

32. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a journalist.

33. Where would you like to live? Why haven’t you moved?

I want to move in with my sister in her apartment. I can't afford to live there until I've graduated from college though, and there's really no point for me to live there right now anyway. The reason I would need to live there is that it would be closer to where I work.

34. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Any source of stability. I almost did it, but I chickened out.

35. What bad habits do you want to break?

I want to completely stop all thoughts of my ex, no matter how occasional they are. I also want to stop looking for love and be 100% okay with letting it come to me.

36. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence

I'll finally reach stability in terms of my job, my home, and my career; I'll be living with my older sister and still trying to catch up to her even though I'm 6 years behind; I'll finally be legally allowed to drink; I'll experience more of the world; and I'll become a self-assured young adult! (I know that was kinda cheating, but who cares.)

37. Do you consider yourself the hero or the villain in your story?

Definitely the protagonist... I pity myself way too much to consider myself the villain LOL.

38. How much control do you really have over yourself?

I've learned that my subconscious separates things that it believes to be a big deal, and things that it doesn't. In terms of everyday cravings and impulse decisions, I have no self control at all. But in terms of things that I believe really matter to me in the long run, I am the most stubborn and controlled person on the planet. No one can sway me once I've come to a decision.

39. When did you last push the boundaries of your comfort zone?

I got a belly button piercing out of the blue with two girls I barely knew day before yesterday. I normally never do stupid impulsive things like that, and I never wanted any piercings let alone a belly button piercing. But I did it, and I have absolutely 0 regrets.

40. What is something you believe is too serious to be joked about?

Rape or domestic violence.

[surveyyyys]

1.if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? Read -- I don't know if this is a contemporary definition of who I am, but I think The Sirens of Titan by Vonnegut would be a good example of what kind of content captivates me. Watch -- Maleficent is a really good movie because it matches my take on love and friendship pretty well. The Devil Wears Prada is also a good movie because it's basically everything I want for my own life. But they would have to stop just before Andy quits her job like I do LOL Listen to -- easily “Evelyn” by Kim Tillman and the Silent Films. I heard that song and I felt like it described me better than I could describe myself. 

2.have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who? I don't think so. I've read a lot of books and really admired how those other people thought. And I connected with the messages that the books sent. But I don't think I felt that my thought process measured up to theirs LOL.

3.three songs that you connect with right now. Adia Victoria's cover of Laissez Tomber Les Filles Hurricane by 76th Street Hospital Beds by Florence and the Machine

4.would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? LOL nah. She's not very trustworthy and she seems a little passively judgmental in bed. Plus I'm straight LOL

5.have you taken someones virginity? Yes!

6.how many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? None LOL

7.if you could, would you take back your last kiss? I wouldn't! I think it was necessary.

8.who would you like to see in concert? Probably Marina. I think that would be a really fun concert.

9.what was the last concert you saw? I went to Warped with a few other people 2 years ago.

10.would you ever want to swim with sharks? LOL hell no

11.do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I hope so! I want to be the kind of person who's always changing.

12.what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably something silly my mom said.

13.a song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? I don't really listen to music during sex... but probably Tadow by Masego.

14.have any pets? My sister has a cat! I like to consider her partially my cat.

15.do you want to have kids? How many? Not now obviously, but eventually. I don't think I would want more than 2.

16.do you have piercings? How many? I only have 2 ear piercings.

17.do you miss anyone from your past? Of course I do. I think that's just part of being a person though.

18.what are you craving right now? Nothing really... maybe the energy to get me through this next semester?

19.have you ever broken someone’s heart? Probably. Not like seriously broken their heart, but done a little damage to it.

20.have you ever been cheated on? Yes.

21.have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? I mean, his actions often made himself cry. But I was the one who was affected by his actions, yes.

22.do you believe in true love? I believe that true love is unconditional love, and that it only exists when it comes to family. Blood is always thicker than water.

23.favourite weather? The first few weeks of fall when it's still warm out, and the leaves are still changing color. After that it becomes a gross playground for seasonal depression.

24.do you like the snow? LOL nope never did

25.do you wanna get married? Someday. But I don't want it so much that I'm going to sit around waiting for it to happen, you know?

26.is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? Sure, depends on who it is.

27.what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? LOL the weird tense we speak in.

28.go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It is physically impossible to lick your elbow.

29.what’s your favorite pasta dish? I like a well done spinach ravioli.

30.what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don't really want to dye my hair that badly. But when I'm old and my hair gets white anyway, I'm gonna dye it pink. Nobody's gonna argue with an old lady with pink hair, you know what I mean?

31.what’s your favorite eye color? I think this is a very "White People" question since most other ethnicities have brown eyes by default.

32.talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. LOL I get a bag like that each year. I don't really buy expensive branded bags for this purpose since I know they're gonna end up in the armpit of New Brunswick, on Rutgers bathroom floors, and on nasty buses by the end of the year. I don't love them to pieces, but I'm glad I have them. This year's bag is a small white sling bag with a pink and green floral design on it. It carries everything I would need or want on a daily basis (ex. phone, wallet, extra phone charger, gum, whatever liquid lipstick I'm wearing that day, mini Swiss Army knife, earbuds, compact mirror, etc.). I take it everywhere with me.

33.are you a morning person? Not in the slightest.

34. what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I've never broken in anywhere LOL

35.what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I don't wear a particular pair of shoes with every outfit. I think the oldest pair of shoes I own are these tattered gray boots that I got in like middle school LOL. I rarely wear them.

36.what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I never really invested in like cute or fun socks because they're always expensive and I think it's kind of a useless thing to invest in. But everyone always has these interesting fuzzy socks on and I'm like "hmm, maybe I should get a pair of those." But I never do. In terms of socks, I prefer function over fashion for some reason.

37.tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing really interesting happened after 3am. There are usually 3 different post-3-AM scenarios: either I'm talking to someone for so long that it's approximately 4 to 5am before we realize it, we were drinking and someone got too drunk and blacked out/threw up, we were drinking/doing drugs and we actually survived the night without blacking out/throwing up.

38.do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! LOL I just go to Starbucks man.

39.who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I don't go stargazing with anyone. I just notice them by myself and it makes my day better. It's more of a personal thing for me.

40.what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I was always really scared of bugs. I still am.

41.do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Nah I don't buy either. I don't have a CD/record player.

42.think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I always used to associate the song "Belle of the Boulevard" with my older sister. I don't think it applies anymore though, since she's in a relationship now.

43.what are your favorite memes of the year so far I like the lil spiderman one. I also thought the "some of you never ____ and it shows" ones were fun until they reached mainstream meme sources (Buzzfeed, Instagram, etc.) and they became unfunny.

44.do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don't like poetry.

45.what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? A Pottery Barn gift card when I was in middle school. For both instances.

46.what are some of your worst habits? I care too much about what other people think. I also grind my teeth.

47.describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. They're really short, probably one of the shortest people I've ever met. They're an INTJ through and through, and usually pride themselves on telling it like it is. Sometimes though, they "tell it like it is" during inappropriate situations which can be annoying. They really want to be a writer, but they're working in Marketing now for the money. They're a good student, and are motivated to succeed, which is a breath of fresh air in an environment where nobody seems to care about where they're going or how to improve. Behind their IDGAF attitude, though, they give many fucks. They tell me that they care deeply for their friends, and most of the time I actually believe them (which is saying a lot for me, since I never believe that anyone cares about anyone). They have a lot of insecurities and they can try to cover up those insecurities with male validation.

48.tell us about your pets! My sister has a cat named Minnie. She's a brown cat and she's getting to be on the heavy side LOL. She screams between 3pm and 6pm because that's when she's hungry. She also likes sitting outside closed doors and screaming. She really likes boys and she'll be super sweet to them. She's pretty indifferent to girls though.

49.is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? Actually, no. At most, I should probably be working on my case study or getting my shit together before school starts. But these are the last two days of my winter break. So it's okay if I relax a little bit.

50.are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I don't really care about minions LOL.

51.what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My coworkers threw me a little birthday party and put up streamers and got me cupcakes this past summer. It really brightened my day, since no one had done that for me in years.

52.describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't really gaze into my friend's eyes like that.

53.what’s some of your favorite album art? War Eternal by Arch Enemy, Broken Machine by Nothing But Thieves, How to be a Human Being by Glass Animals, Villains by Queens of the Stone Age, Heritage by Opeth, and probably a few others.

54.are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I want to get a tattoo on my upper back next summer. It's going to be a mountain range with a few birds flying over it, and 2 lines written in this language I made up underneath it.

55.do you like concept albums? which ones? I like the idea of them! I don't think I listen very much to any concept albums though.

56.what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Memento and Forrest Gump.

57.list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Oh No! by Marina, Hurricane by 76th Street, The Wolf by Phildel, Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine, Orbiting by the Weepies, Pretty Little Head by Eliza Rickman, Elastic Heart by Sia, Big Girls Cry by Sia, Cellophane by Sara Jackson Holman.

58.if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Definitely to go 5 years into the future.

59.what do you do when you’re sad? I usually just listen to music and wallow.

60.what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? I play this one specific podcast called Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. I'm usually asleep within the next 30 minutes of playing it.

61.what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? There are a few contenders. There's the night I did acid for the first time. There's any of the nights we had those parties in our suite last year where no one threw up/cried. There's that night I legitimately fell off the bed laughing, and we drove to another campus in the middle of the night in someone's pickup truck. Any one of the nights during my winter community service break trip where we cooked/got sentimental/bonded. I'm sure there are others.

62.who is the last person you told a secret to? The same friend I described in this survey.

63.what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? Many people have told me this. But it's to stop trying to jump to the finish line and enjoy the present.

64.what’s your favorite food? I don't have one specific all-across favorite food. But I really like breakfast food out of all others!

65.what’s your secret dream? I want to go on a several-day-long trip with a bunch of close friends. I don't want to tag along with my sister... I want it to be my own trip with my own friends.

66.three songs you were recently obsessed with. Despicable - Grandson OBLIVIUS - The Strokes Broken Machine - Nothing But Thieves

67.three songs that remind you of the person who sends this one --

68. three favourite old songs A Well Respected Man - The Kinks Shout At The Devil - Motley Crue Rust In Peace... Polaris - Megadeth

69.three last songs you listened to Overdose by Grandson and two other random songs I didn't pay much attention to.

70.worst possible time to get horny: During an exam (it's happened before).

71.have you ever had a friends with benefits? Yup a couple times. Didn't last very long though.

72.do you believe in soulmates? Consciously I don't, but subconsciously I do.

73.Is there anyone you would die for? My sister and my mom.

74.whowas the last person you cried in front of? My sister's cat LOL

75.do you give out second chances too easily? I actually don't give out enough second chances I think.

76.is it easier to forgive or forget? Forget.

77.is this year the best year of your life? Nope, that was definitely 2016.

78.do you have trust issues? Very much so.

79.who/what was your last dream about? I don't actually remember... I knew it was set in a university environment though.

80.would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Only if I could go back to my first year of college and relive it.

[surveyyyys]

It’s night right now There’s something else you should be doing at the moment You ate chicken today You are lactose intolerant There’s a nearby TV on You get along with your neighbors Twilight is a horrible series You’re hungry right now You have worked out today   Running a mile sounds awful You have a job You love to bake Christmas cookies Your parents are still together You woke up before 8 this morning   Baths are better than showers   You are 5’5” or shorter You hate British accents Victoria’s Secret is a good store Cats are better than dogs The 90’s sucked Your cell phone is right next to you Your favorite color is either blue or purple   Your hair is short You are by yourself right now The last thing you drank was water You’re in your PJ’s right now Your hair color is natural Fred from Youtube is annoying You don’t drink soda There’s at least 20$ in your wallet It’s cold out Orange juice is better than apple juice You love someone right now Video games are awesome Your sheets are white   You have read works by Shakespeare before You’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder   You know someone in the hospital right now You’ve showered today You know someone who has beaten cancer Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear Chocolate is better than vanilla You’re allergic to peanuts You’ve never been to New York   You’ve never been on a varsity sports team You want to go to Europe You’re using a laptop right now Plastic surgery is a good idea Vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear You’ve made yourself throw up You’ve cheated on someone before   You have a broken heart at the moment Your friends do drugs School is too early Your nails have nail polish on them right now You’re Italian You have a tan right now You’ve been on a diet before You shop in plus sized clothing stores Hot Topic is scary There are socks on your feet right now You’ve used a hair straightener Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store You’re in Verizon’s network Cheesecake is delicious Your BMI falls into the overweight category You have gotten your hair cut in the past month Your birthday is within the next 2 months You’ve been rejected Comedies are better than action films Math is the best subject You are fluentish in more than one language You love Greek food You consider yourself a picky eater You have more than 3 pillows on your bed You live with your parents You’re happy right now You are a high school graduate You have a pet cat You were born before April 5th, 1991 You have brown hair You have blue eyes You last name is longer than 5 letters long You are in a relationship You are can count to 20 in another language You have studied a foreign language You voted in the 2008 presidential election You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004 You have worked 3rd shift You have worked in a fast food restaurant   You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today You live in New Jersey You live in Montana You live in Pennsylvania Your last name begins with a ‘M’ Your middle name begins with a ‘C’ Your first name begins with a ‘S’ You are older than 19 You are younger than 16 You are an only child Your parents are divorced You have more than one sibling You are an Aquarius You are a vegetarian You have a gym membership You are in the military You have a relative in the military You have been to Canada You have been to Mexico You have been to Europe You are currently enrolled in college/university You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t You have braces. You wear contact lenses You have a tattoo on your ankle You have a tattoo on your wrist You have a tattoo on your lower back You have a tattoo on your upper arm   You have a lip piercing You have a tongue piercing You have your nipples pierced You have your cartilage pierced You have curly hair You have recieved flowers from someone in the last 2 months   You are engaged You are married You have children You are an aunt or uncle Your bedroom walls are blue Your bedspread is red Your bedroom carpet is beige   You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week You have been drunk in the past 24 hours You have lost your virginity before you turned 15 You are bisexual You watch Scrubs You watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 You watch American Idol You have been to the movies within the last month You have cursed in front of your grandparents You had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little You actually pay attention to politics You are still waiting for your first kiss You have kissed someone within the last week You have kissed three or more people this year  You would kiss the last person you kissed again You were told you looked cute today You were hugged today Your best friend is the opposite sex You have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing You had a date to prom You are a good speller You are always on time You believe in karma You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours You have thrown up within the last 6 months You have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days You have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks You have been out of the country within the last year You love Chinese food You love Italian food You love Mexican food You love country music You love rap   You love hip hop You love punk rock You love hard rock You love metal You love classic rock You love bluegrass You love oldies You love techno You love instrumental music You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored You know someone younger than 10 who passed away You have been in a car wreck You have had stitches You have a parent who is a teacher You have a checking account You have a debit card You have a currently have a $2 bill in your possession You have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you You have dated someone who was 2 years older than you You have broke up with someone for someone else You have cheated on someone You have been cheated on You are Catholic You are Mormon You are Buddhist. You are Agnostic You wish at 11:11 You have had your current job for more than 3 months You have had your heart broken You broke someone else’s heart  You felt bad about it You have an Aunt Karen   You have an Uncle Bill You have a cousin Sarah You have a cousin Adam You have worked with a Danielle You have ridden in a car with a Stephen You have hugged a Tiffany You have kissed a Blake You have had class with a David You have had a crush on an Emily You have dated a Derek You have been neighbors with a Hannah You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to You have been to a cemetary at midnight You have been a vampire for Halloween   You have been a witch for Halloween You have been a pumpkin for Halloween You have stayed up for 48 hours straight You have been to Walmart within the last 3 days You own a pair of scrubs You own a cowboy hat You own a leather coat You are missing someone right now You have been let down recently You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show You have met someone famous You have met the president You go deer hunting You have a motorcycle license You have fallen for a friend You have let someone use you, even though you knew they were You have run a stoplight You have had it snow on your birthday You have had a manicure You have dyed your hair an unnatural color You live in an apartment You share your room with a sibling or roommate You have won an award You have been hit on at work You have given someone a false phone number so they wouldn’t call you You have introduced yourself with a name other than your own You would marry someone 20 years older than you for a million dollars You have cried yourself to sleep within the last week Your last phone call lasted longer than 5 minutes You love to go camping You have been in a wedding party You have low self-esteem You are outgoing You are shy You have a temper You have made out with a complete stranger You have faked being sick to get out of working You have skipped school because you ‘felt like it’ You have gotten a detention You live within 30 minutes of your best friend You have lost a good friend recently You have made a new friend recently You can belch your ABC’s. You have hair past your shoulders You have been on an airplane within the last 3 years You have had someone question your sexuality You are happy with your life at the moment You live within an hour of the beach You have seen a tornado You are currently wearing something blue You never leave the house without make-up You have been caught stealing You drive a stick shift vehicle You have pretended to be happy when you really weren’t You have kissed someone who’s name begins with ‘A’ You have kissed someone who’s name begins with ‘B’. You have kissed someone who’s name begins with ‘C’ You have kissed someone who’s name begins with ‘D’ You ended your last relationship  You have been in a relationship that lasted more than 3 years You are pregnant You have freckles You go tanning regularly You watched Sesame Street as a kid You were obsessed with The Spice Girls back in the day You were obsessed with The Backstreet Boys back in the day Your mom was younger than 25 when she had you You dad is over 50 You are a night owl You usually go to bed before 11pm You have been in Walmart at 4am You have been skinny dipping You have gotten pulled over for having a tail-light out You have ridden a train within the last year You went to Six Flags last summer Your birthday is in March Your birthday is in June Your birthday is in October You wear a shoes larger than a size 9 There are at least 2 windows in the room you are in You have kissed in the rain You slept alone last night You are on a diet You have ridden a bike within the last month You have been swimming within the last month You have gone camping within the last month   You consider yourself an ‘outdoorsy’ type You consider yourself a ‘city’ type  You have been called a redneck You have been called emo You have been called a dork You know someone with a twin You are a twin You sleep with the door shut. You put cream in your coffee You take the crusts off your sandwiches You have gotten the mail in your pajamas Your room is currently clean You have gone more than 3 days without a shower You bite your nails You have fainted before You live with someone who smokes You were born before the 15th of your birth month You were in track in school You were in softball/baseball in school You were in basketball in school You can do 20 good push-ups You have let a friend cry on your shoulder You have been to a funeral this year You have been to a wedding this year You have been to a baby shower this year You have been to a bachelor/bachelorette party this year You have been to a 21st birthday party this year You will be at least 25 in the next 5 years You expect to be married within 2 years You expect to have kids within 5 years You are in the medical field You love thunderstorms You are part of a sorority or fraternity (technically) You are taking some kind of prescription medication You have a cold You have had your appendix removed You have had your wisdom teeth out You have lived in your current place longer than 10 years You like black jelly beans You have big plans for the weekend. You know someone you’d like to see right now. You are hiding a secret You took this instead of doing something you were supposed to do

[surveyyyys]

I AM: Outgoing. A sister. Overwhelmed. Helpful. Kind. Overweight. Tall.Caring. A shopaholic. Energetic. Hopeful. Smart. Over 18. Religious. A mother. A good singer. Ugly. Insecure. A natural blonde. Shy. Inquisitive.Determined. Thirsty. Frustrated. Registered to vote.Independent. Horny. Hungry. Self-conscious. A hard worker. Paranoid. In love. A college student. A dreamer. A movie buff. Usually happy. Easily entertained. Quiet. A daddy’s girl. A smoker. Employed. Happy with my life.Anxious. A pothead. A bitch. Healthy. On a desktop.

I HAVE: An iPhone. Anxiety. Drugs. A tumblr. An addiction. A dog. My own car.A degree. A job. Trust issues. A temper. A brother. Blue eyes. A lot of clothes. A twin bed. A big family. Netflix. To pee. No income. Odd taste in music. A large book collection. Fast internet. A big imagination. My license. Curly hair. A small butt. Short hair. A messy room. A phobia. Big boobs. A medical condition.An awkward smile. Some kind of collection. Taken over 1,000 surveys. A personal blog that nobody sees but me. Gotten lost while driving. Been to Warped Tour. Big feet. Bills to pay. A lot of strong opinions. A pool. An Xbox. A cold. An STD. A lot of music. More than two piercings.

I WANT: A boyfriend. More money. A better body. To adopt. To move out. A new computer. Something I cannot have. Food. My hair to grow out. A new life. To be more confident. A tattoo. Fast food.Alcohol. To go on vacation. To see a new movie coming out. Weed. To go shopping. A new phone. A piercing. Concert tickets. Someone to hang out with. To start working out. To be famous. To see a certain someone. More clothes.To donate blood. Bigger boobs. Someone to cuddle with. A job. Smaller thighs. To learn how to play an instrument. My favorite band to release a new album.Someone to love. A new pet. To go to sleep. To grow up. To change something about my personality. Breakfast food.Them to make a new Pokemon game. A new iPod. A popsicle. To learn a new skill. To be more organized. Someone to bring me breakfast in bed.

I THINK: Abortion is wrong. I’ll die young.I’m a good person. Too often. I’m going to hell. Pickles are gross. A lot of popular things are overrated. God is real. People underestimate me. My taste in music is perfect. I need a new layout. I’m pretty responsible. Gay marriage should be legal. I’m going to dye my hair soon. I’m funny. I’m going to make a huge decision soon. My parents hate me. I have a mental disorder. I annoy people. Something is seriously wrong with me. Of better days. A lot of Disney Channel stars grow up to be trash. The Hunger Games is overrated. The best things in life are free. Popular music is pretty awful.I could be a vegetarian. I’ll make a good mother. I spend too much money on clothes. I always seem to be more interested in older guys. I worry too much. Politics are stupid. Foreign languages are interesting. Hipsters are annoying. Bolding surveys are fun.Everything is better with cheese. Twilight is overrated. I will be alone forever. I might go to bed soon. I may try something new soon. I’m pretty boring. I may never stop taking surveys. McDonald’s is gross. Celebrities are overpaid. People use me a lot. Valentine’s Day is a joke. Nobody is truly original.

I LOVE: Animals. Shopping. Cooking. My family. Going to concerts.Jewelry. Glitter. Reading. Bright colors. Make up. Taking pictures. Hot showers. Texting. Going to the movies. Children. Anime. Being girly.Working out. My life. Where I live. Summer. Fruit.Candles.Photography. Eating. Learning.Rainy days. Walking. Painting my nails.Doing my hair. Music. Xanga. Facebook. Feeling needed. Getting compliments. tumblr. Helping others. Volunteering. Cuddling.Chewing gum. YouTube. Dresses. Touch screens. Decorating.Writing. Finding money in my pockets. Comedy central.

I HATE: Cleaning. Driving. Big crowds. Politics. Religion. Musicals. Talking on the phone. Crying. Fast food. Going to the doctor. Meat. Vegetables. Sitcoms. My body. My life. My parents. Long fingernails. Bad grammar.Cocky people.Being single. Guys with facial hair. Having no signal.Losing. Working. Doing the dishes. Bugs. Children. Racists. Going to the dentist. Going to school. Arguing. Hospitals. Being pale. Having scars. Hot weather. Wearing socks. Listening to the radio. Animal cruelty. Having unshaved legs. Gauged ears. Wearing glasses. When people don’t text back. Anime. Having nothing to do. When i have stray hairs stuck to my shirt. Waiting. Bad hair days.

[surveyyyys]

1. Is this the best year of your life? LOL there's really no way of knowing since it's only January and I'm not in school yet. I don't know if/think that this year is gonna be the best year of my life, but I hope it's at least gonna be better than 2018!

2. What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Snoozed LOL

3. The person you like is? I don't like anyone.

4. Is anything bothering you? My heart's been acting a lil funky. This happens sometimes... it's like excess adrenaline/anxiety that I have even when I'm not doing anything. I'm also hoping that I don't go into a downward spiral of negative emotion around now, because that tends to happen when I'm up late.

5. Does anyone annoy you? LOL lots of people

6. Would you like things to “go back to normal” with a certain someone? This doesn't really apply to anyone in my life right now

7. What was the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? I watched this self help video on Youtube. It wasn't anything special and it didn't really change my life at all. I was feeling a little low when it was over, so I texted my friend about it. I scrolled a little bit on Tumblr to get my mind off things. Then I put on an episode of a podcast that helps me go to sleep, and then I went to sleep.

8. Is life good? Right now it's pretty okay. And I have a feeling it's only going to get better.

9. Do you remember who you liked on New Years? LOL I didn't like anyone on New Year's.

10. Do you still like them? ^^

11. Do you still speak to them? ^^

12. Told your parents you were going somewhere, but went somewhere else? LOL a bunch of times. It's how you have to be with brown parents.

13. Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips? Not anymore.

14. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? Nah I love my mom LOL

15. Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? LOL nah I'm in my jammies.

16. Three days from now, will you be in a relationship? LMAO I hope not

17. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? Actually no. I think I'm doing okay right now and I don't need any of those complications. I'd want them to wait at least a couple months.

18. Have you kissed anyone in the last month? Nope.

19. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? I think I went for a blood test.

20. Do you like being home alone, or does it freak you out? Depends. If it's been a stressful week then I like being home alone just to unwind. But if I'm home alone for an extended amount of time, I get super depressed.

21. Would you ever kiss anyone you texted today? Eh... depending on the situation, I wouldn't be opposed to it.

22. Do you have any bruises on you? Nah

23. How was 2013 for you? Oof absolutely horrendous.

24. How late did you stay up last night, and why? Probably like 1-1:30

25. Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone? From my mom!

26. Do you regret anything you’ve done lately? LOL nah, for once I've actually been doing things right.

27. What woke you up today? My alarm

28. What makes you happy? Coffee, exercise, understanding how to do something difficult, having nice makeup/eyebrows, having good conversation with good people, doing something new and refreshing, and probably a bunch of other things.

29. Ever kissed on a boat? LOL nope

30. Have you ever been told that you are amazing? Yeah probably

31. Finish this sentence: The last person I kissed is… A good guy and definitely deserves the best. But he's just not right for me so I can't be with him.

32. This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Yup

33. Do you like when people play with your hair? LOL not really... but then again, there's not much hair to play with LOL

34. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? Definitely LOL there's only a couple more days that I can do that before I go back to school

35. Waiting for something? I'm waiting for school to start

36. Was last night terrible? Nah it was fine

37. Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? I actually made a lot of new friends when I did!

38. Are you the type of person to make people laugh? LOL I'm usually pretty funny when I try to be.

39. Don’t tell me lies - is the last person you texted attractive? LOL I always thought so. And I have a feeling he thinks I'm cute too. But like,,, it'll be weird to actually date him you know?

40. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? LOL I hope so!

41. Are you missing someone? I'm always subconsciously missing someone. It's my default. But consciously, no.

42. Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? LOL yup

43. Do you believe in karma? No I don't because I never see it work out the way it's supposed to.

44. Do you sleep with a fan on? LOL nah I get really cold when I sleep so I don't like fans being on unless it's really hot out.

45. Do you think anyone’s thinking about you right now? Probably not.

46. Is there anyone you wish you were spending time with right now? Not really.

47. Do you go to school? Yeah, college

48. Is the last person you texted single? I think so? He posted these suspicious pics with some girl lately... but he's been flirting and he's definitely not the type to be unfaithful if something were going on. So he's most likely single.

49. Who was driving the last time you were in a car? My dad

50. Have you ever used the word “rawr” in an actual conversation? LOLOL it's been a hell of a long time

51. Are the blinds on your window open or closed? My window doesn't have blinds, it has curtains. But those are closed.

52. Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little? Yes!

53. What were you doing at eleven last night? I think I was trying to get work done

54. What could you eat any day of the week and never get tired of? Rice! Usually I eat it every day at home.

55. Is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now? Ugh will you stop it with the kissing questions? I'm not gonna be getting any action for a while LOL.

56. Someone knocks on your window at 5AM; what do you say? I'd probably sleep through it. And if I didn't sleep through it, I'd probably piss my pants with fear LOL

57. Would you change yourself for the person you love? LOLOL NOPE

58. Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? Nope

59. What are you supposed to be doing right now? Probably sleeping

60. Would you have sex with the fifth person in your contacts? LMAOOOO nope. He's fucked up.

61. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? I don't think so.

62. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? I don't think so actually.

63. Do you talk in your sleep? I don't think so?

64. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It's fine.

65. What time did you wake up today? Probably around 11.

66. What were you doing at midnight? I probably just started working for real LOL

67. What song are you listening to? IDGAF by Dua Lipa

68. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past five days? I mean someone's hugged me? But no one's put their arm around me.

69. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? They're good! But I haven't had them in a while.

70. Do you have nice eyes? Not really, they're small and beady.

71. Is your current hair colour your natural hair colour? I'd say so. The gray parts are covered with henna so they're red now. But other than that my hair is mostly natural.

72. Are you texting anybody? Nope.

[surveyyyys]

1. Do you believe in ghosts or evil spirits? Would you be willing to spend a night alone in a house that is supposedly haunted? LOL see, I don’t believe in ghosts or evil spirits even a little bit. But I’m not about to be one of those dumb white girls in the horror movies LOL I’m staying as far away from haunted houses as I possibly can 

2. Do you prefer being around men or women? Are most of your closest friends male or female? What do you think makes male friends different from female friends? I definitely prefer being around women. A lot of my friends are girls, and I feel a lot safer around girls -- I think I can understand them a lot more, and girls just have their shit together, you know? I’ve never met a man who has as much of a focus on his future as most of the women I know do. I also really hate women who put down other women by saying that they’re “bitchy” or “complicated” or anything like that... it just makes it okay for men to say those things about us. 

3. Describe the most enjoyable dream you can remember having. What made it so amazing? What about the worse nightmare you have ever had? What made it so terrible? Unfortunately I don’t remember the happiest dream I ever had LOL. Maybe it’ll come to me later. I did have a dream that I was drugged, and being raped/sexually assaulted though. That was definitely the most terrifying dream I’ve ever had. 

4. How would you react if you found out, after marrying someone, that your mate had been involved in a relationship with someone of the same sex prior to meeting you? Would this change the way you felt about that person? Why or why not?

Definitely not! As long as they’re still attracted to women (ex. they’re bi, pan, etc.) and they still love me, I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all. I mean, I would be a little uncomfortable the way anyone is when it comes to talking about their husband’s ex... but I don’t think the gender/sexuality of the ex would have any effect on it. 

5. How forgiving are you when one of your friends lets you down? Do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance? I am one of the least forgiving people, especially when someone does something to really hurt me. Honestly, I don’t even expect that much from my friends or from the people around me -- just don’t be blatantly rude, and don’t screw me over. I believe that if you can find it in you to be rude or to screw me over the first time, you can (and most likely will) definitely do it again. 

6. Do you think that advice from an older person carries a special weight because of their greater experience? Do you, as a young person, feel that your comments and advice have much effect on others? LOL I don’t think so. I’ve met plenty of older people who don’t know shit about shit. I definitely think it’s a part of my culture to respect older people because of their age/experience, but you definitely don’t have to listen to their advice. In fact, the advice that I took from older people often led me down the wrong path instead of the right one. 

7. How do you picture your funeral? Is it important for you to have people mourn your death, or would you rather them celebrate your life? What would you like said, and whom would you like to speak? How do you want to be remembered? Indian funerals are kind of structured so that people celebrate your life more than mourn your loss. It’s really loud and colorful and people’s spirits are kind of lifted even though it’s definitely still a really sad time for everyone. I don’t really like thinking about my own funeral and I don’t really see a point of thinking about it, since I’m never going to be there to see it. I don’t care how people remember me after I’m gone, actually, because it won’t have any effect on my life. I just hope that the people I care about are happy and that I’ve been a positive influence on them somehow. 

8. When you make a big sacrifice, do you tell others about it or keep it to yourself? Do you feel annoyed when your sacrifices aren’t noticed by others?

Lmao I’d like to think that I don’t ever mention it. But I’d probably talk about it a lot (not to the person I made the sacrifice for, but to someone else who I can be shitty around and not feel bad about it... most likely my sister LOL). I think it is annoying when my sacrifices aren’t noticed by others, but I’m not about to go up to that person and be like “NOTICE MY SACRIFICE” you know what I mean?

9. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? When you have children, is there anything you will try to do differently than your own parents did? 

Oh man. LOL. Honestly, I don’t blame my parents for raising us the way they did. They both grew up really poor and they were the youngest of huge families. So they really didn’t have any money or any resources. So when they had kids, they made sure that we could have any materialistic good we wanted, and we would never feel poor. But sometimes they would replace other kinds of support with money. Like my dad will buy me all the textbooks in the world, but he never really sat down with me and helped me with my homework. I can buy all the clothes I want, but I can’t wear shorts or tank tops in my house. My parents paid for my college tuition (which is amazing of them), but they essentially squashed my dreams of becoming a journalist and continue to try to push me into generic corporate finance roles to this day. I think when I’m a parent, I’ll give my kids more room to develop socially and a little more freedom to make their own decisions. I also won’t let any racism/homophobia get in the way of their love lives the way my parents’ racism/homophobia gets in the way of mine. 

10. Do you believe in any sort of God? If not, do you think you might still pray if you were in a life-threatening situation? 

Nope. LOL most of the time I forget that religion is a thing. Honestly, life would be a lot easier to handle if I did believe in God. 

11. If you became aware that, without a doubt, your mother was having an affair, what would you do? What if your father were to mention that he was going crazy thinking your mother was cheating? Would you tell him? 

LOL this situation is so unrealistic I don’t even know how to respond to it. My mom, no matter how little she admits it, is ridiculously devoted to my dad. She would never cheat on him. I think that if she cheated on my dad she would have a damn good reason... I don’t think I would tell him? I don’t know...

12. When was the last time you had really mind-boggling, intensely satisfying sex?

LOL. Last summer. I had just gotten out of my first relationship and I was sleeping with this guy that I met on Tinder. We had really good chemistry in bed, and I think he was the best I ever had. But also, he was one of the first people I slept with while I was single. I don’t think the sex would’ve seemed that good if I had sex with him today (after I’ve been with other guys and I’ve understood sex a little more). But because I was so new to the concept of having sex with whoever I want whenever I want, the sex seemed amazing. 

13. If you knew that your child was going to be born severely mentally handicapped and would die by the age of 5, would you have an abortion? Do you think that there is ever a situation in which aborting a child actually helps to avoid suffering? Absolutely. There is no way I’m putting myself or my child through an ordeal like that. I would not bring someone into this world if I knew that they would live a horrible and extremely short life. If I’m having a baby, they have to be a healthy baby or I’m getting an abortion and finding another way to have a child. 

14. Would you rather be very much in love with one person and have no other friends, or have a large group of supportive and loving friends, but never find your “soulmate”? Large group of supporting friends! People blow “soulmates” and relationships out of proportion all the time, but it’s really only one small piece of your life. There are so many ways to be completely whole and live a fulfilled life without romantic love. There are actually so many other forms of love too: familial love, maternal love, self-love, love of life, the love that you have for your best friends... you don’t have to be in love with someone to be happy. 

15. Is there anything that you find too personal to discuss with others? LOL a few different things. 

16. How old were you when you first had sex? Was it what you imagined it would be? Is there anything anyone could have told you that would have made it better? Do you think you would be better off if you had waited longer to have sex? 

I was 17 when I lost my virginity -- I think that was actually the perfect age. I think it was basically what I expected LOL. The first time was pretty unsuccessful, but then we tried again the next morning and it was pretty great. I don’t think I needed to know anything to make the experience any better... I was really comfortable with the person I lost my virginity to, and I knew a lot about the theory of sex from listening to my sister’s many hookup stories. 

17. Are you good at taking compliments, or do you usually shrug it off and act like you didn’t deserve the compliment? 

I think I’m good at taking compliments! I always say thank you and I try to pay a compliment back. 

18. Are you someone who enjoys sleeping snuggled up with your significant other, or do you need space when you sleep? Nah I don’t need space when I sleep. I like cuddling. 

19. Have you ever lucid dreamed? Would you like to, or does the thought of being able to control your dreams scare you? LOL I remember, back when my sister was in high school she was really interested in the concept of lucid dreaming. But whenever she would try to lucid dream, she would end up having sleep paralysis. It was a really scary experience for her, so she stopped trying to lucid dream. I think I would be more afraid of the sleep paralysis side effect rather than of actually lucid dreaming itself. I also just don’t find the experience enriching or interesting enough to put myself through sleep paralysis for it. 

20. If you were guaranteed honest responses to 3 questions, who would you question, and what would you ask? 

I think I would ask a future version of myself these 3 questions:

1. Where am I actually going to be in 10 years? (in terms of family, career, relationships, friendships, etc.)

2. Am I ever going to be happy/satisfied with who I am, and if so, when am I going to reach that level?

3. Was 2016 really the best year of my life, or is the best still yet to come? (I would not want to know when the best year of my life is going to be... I just want to know if it’s still in my future.)

[surveyyyys]

What do you want to name your first child? My girl would be named Shakthi, and my boy would be named Gagan.

Would you ever name a child after yourself? LOL ew wtf that's extra. Also in my culture, it's kinda taboo to name a kid after someone who's still alive...

Is there a guy or girl you wish things had worked out with? LOL nah not really. Things ended pretty much the way they were supposed to with all the guys I've dated.

What makes you nauseous? Looking at my phone or at a book for more than like 5-10 minutes when I'm in a car. I have pretty bad motion sickness. I also get seasick.

What are your favorite spicy foods? Anything with jalapenos! I also really like the pickled mango my mom makes... it's super spicy, but it's one of the best types of South Indian foods.

Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Oh being an adult 100%. My childhood was real sucky LOL

Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? LOL I don't really think so... I didn't have a party or anything so I don't think I was.

Did you feel insecure in high school? All the time!

Do you think there are different types of depression? Of course!

Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? I already am.

What is the antidote to self-harm? (If you don’t know, don’t answer.) I wish I knew.

Who was the biggest bully in high school? Everyone! High school was trash.

What was your favorite class in high school? I liked Calc. There was always a set way to do things and I was good at Calc. I would just put on my music and do problems... it allowed me to tune out the rest of the world for a while.

Would you rather have a daughter or a son? I think I'd want to have a daughter. I think mothers and daughters have a closer bond.

Are you woman, man, boy, or girl? I'd call myself a girl LOL

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? LOL nah I've never been that desperate

What color is your Christmas tree? It's green but it has a lot of those ornaments and stuff on it.. so like green, gold, silver, red, and white.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Nah we celebrate fake materialistic Christmas where we go shopping, put up a tree, and put stuff under the tree.

Do you celebrate Halloween? LOL we celebrate fake Halloween where we dress up and get super drunk and our parents put out candy for the kiddies

Do you believe all Christians are evil and hypocritical, or only some? LOL a good number of Christians can be evil and hypocritical.

Do you think it’s bullying to tell someone they’re naive? LOL no that's telling the truth

Did you get bullied more as a child, a teenager, or an adult? I was bullied like crazy when I was a child and it carried a good amount into my teenage years. Once I got to college my social life flipped upside down though and I was never bullied again.

Have you ever broken out in hives? LOL I think when I was a kid. My skin used to be really sensitive back then.

Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? LOL I don't think so...

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I think I would. I don't think I would trust a male gynecologist like I would trust a woman.

Do you like Lisa Frank? LOL I remember Lisa Frank! I used to love those lil things.

What gives you nightmares? Usually stressful school stuff? I'd like to describe my bad dreams as "White Collar Nightmares."

Do you dream in black and white or color? LOL people dream in black and white? That's wack.

Have you ever been in a car accident? I've been in minor accidents but nothing too scary.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? Yeah I was once when I was an infant.

Do you have a conscience now? I have much more of a conscience than I care to admit.

Do you believe everyone has a conscience? Definitely not.

Do you believe that drug addicts and alcoholics should count as people? Of course! Addiction can happen to anyone, and nobody becomes an addict/alcoholic on purpose. People who say that they don't count as people or look down on them are like the real life versions of Marshall and Marcia Langman from Parks and Rec.

Are narcotics safe? I don't know... I'm assuming in small doses?

Will you vote in the next presidential election? Yes!

What’s your favorite zoo animal? I don't really like the zoo, it makes me sad...

Are you allergic to your favorite animal? I'm not allergic to any animals!

What is the best thing to eat with soup? Croutons or grilled cheese.

Do you eat ice cream with a fork or a spoon? Depends on what's there. I like eating it with a spoon though.

What’s your favorite country besides the USA? LOL "besides the USA" you say it like USA is my default favorite country. USA doesn't even make the list. I'd probably say Canada.

Are you an adventurous eater? LOL I wouldn't say so.

Do you take risks? I really don't LOL and I don't let other people I care about take risks either.

Who was the last friend who turned on you? Those people who were shaming me for dating so much and took my ex's side of the breakup. I kicked them off my finsta.

How old were you when you get your first cell phone? I was 7.......

How old were you when you got your first personal laptop? I don't remember. I know that I was very young though... possibly in early middle school.

Did you get senior pictures taken? LOL I did. I don't think we ordered them though.

What will you do to save money at your wedding? LOL no idea. I don't really think about my wedding on the day to day.

What was the last thing you bought online? A pair of earbuds. I lost mine.

Do you shop online? Only for makeup. I like shopping for clothes and stuff in person.

What color is your bicycle? i don’t have one.

Do you consider yourself unique? LOL I'd say so.

What’s your favorite coffee shop in your town? I just go to Starbucks man LOL

Did you attend a youth group? LOL nah I'm not religious

[surveyyyys]

Physical appearance:

I have blonde hair. My current hair color is not my natural hair color. I have curly hair. I have green eyes. I have red hair. I have natural highlights. I am black. I have lots of freckles. My nails are usually painted. I wear a lot of eye make-up.  I have bangs. I have short hair. I wear a lot of pink.

Belongings:

I own a hair straightener. I have my own car. I have posters on my walls. I have a pet. I own a pair of roller skates or blades. I have lots of bobby pins. I own at least four bottles of perfume. I have a lot of jewelry I never wear. I own at least 5 pairs of jeans. I own Converse. I own a pair of high heels. I own a leather jacket.

Family:

I have a step-relative. I am adopted. My biological parents are married to each other. I am an only child. At least one of my great-grandparents is still alive. All of my grandparents are still alive. I am related to someone famous. I have a sibling who is in college. I am a twin or a triplet. I have a sibling who is married. I have a sibling who is less than five years old. I have more than one sibling. I see my cousins often.

Relationship:

I am married. I am engaged. I have been proposed to. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have been asked out on a date. I have been cheated on. I am asexual. I want to get married someday. I want to have kids someday. I have children. I have made out with someone against a wall.

Health:

I am lactose intolerant. I have a food allergy. Someone in my family has died of cancer. I have had surgery. I have scoliosis. I take/took anti-depressants. I have attempted suicide. I have been in the hospital in the past year. I have broken a bone. I have had strep throat. I don’t drink enough water. I exercise for more than 10 hours a week. I wear glasses and/or contacts.

Friendship:

I have a best friend. I am friends with a pair of twins. I am close friends with at least one of my neighbors. I have at least one friend who lives in a different country.

Experiences:

I have had a near-death experience. The police have been summoned to my house. I have been nearly run over by some sort of large vehicle. I have been snorkeling. I have been to at least 2 weddings. I have been to at least 2 funerals. I have been to an overnight summer camp. I have been on a train. I have lived in a different country. I have spent the night in a motel. I have written a novel. I have been zip-lining. I have been to a wedding or funeral outside of my home country. I have failed a class. I have cut class. I have gotten a speeding ticket. I have gotten a parking ticket. I have been in a car crash. I have been sent to the principal’s office. I have been arrested. I have been drunk. I have taken a ballet class. I have driven a car. I have been on an upside-down roller coaster. I have gone to school or work after a sleepless night. I have flown in a hot-air balloon. I have spent more than 48 hours without sleep. I have been in a talent show. I have read Sherlock Holmes. I have read all of the Harry Potter books. I have seen all of the Harry Potter movies. I saw the last Harry Potter movie in theaters. I have thrown up on a plane. I have worn my pajamas out in public. I have worn my hair in a fishtail braid. I have never been trick-or-treating. I have posted a video on YouTube. I have seen an episode of Supernatural. I have worn colored contacts before. I have tried out for a sports team. I have auditioned for a play. I have been in a school play. I have had a main role in a school play.

Personal:

I have a job. I am afraid of heights. I am not religious. I live in an apartment. I am extremely familiar with jet lag. I want to change my name. I don’t get nervous before making a presentation. I have more than one citizenship. I was born in a city. I run a video blog. I know what I want to do with my life. I am insecure about my voice. I worry a lot about my future.

Education:

I am a student. I go to a private school. I have my Master’s degree. I have taken a college-level class while in high school. I have graduated from high school.

Travel:

I have been to a third-world country. I have been to the Carribean. I have been to Boston. I have visited a college. I have been to Florida. I have been to New York City. I have visited another country. I have been to Egypt.

Skills:

I am fluent in more than one language. I have read a book in another language. I can braid hair. I can do a cartwheel. I can do a handstand underwater.

Interests:

I play Skyrim. I play Minecraft. I like country music. I like to read fanfiction. I watch Doctor Who. I enjoy hiking. I run track. I like cooking shows. I like chick flicks. I love poetry. I have written a song. I am interested in cinematography.

Likes and Dislikes:

I like lobster. I like strawberries. I hate making my bed. I enjoy science fiction. I like roller coasters. I like watermelon. I like going back-to-school shopping.

Habits:

I go to the movies at least once a month. I continuously bite my nails. I have a habit of biting my lip. I tap my foot when I’m nervous. I have a paper calendar on my wall. I often have to replace my earbuds.

[surveyyyys]

First things first, did you have a good year? 2018 wasn't the worst year I ever had... but it also wasn't the best and left a lot to be desired. Whether or not it was a good year, 2018 was definitely an important year for me.

How old did you turn this year? I turned 19 (my last teen year!)

Do you feel your age? Hahah, I always liked this question. Yes and no. I'm usually surprised that I'm still a teenager because I'm a year ahead, and all my friends are already 20 and 21. I often say that I think like a 22-23 year old because I'm consistently comparing myself to my older sister, who is now 25. But when I meet someone who is actually 23-24 years old (for example, some of the guys I dated this year) I'm always so surprised by how young I feel when I'm around them. Honestly, the guys I dated didn't have their lives together AT ALL and they still felt so much older than me, just in the way they carried themselves. So I'm not really sure... I think I act like I'm at least 20-21 years old usually.

Did your appearance change in anyway? Actually not really. I think I lost weight because I'm always losing weight. But for the most part I think I look mostly the same.

Post your favorite selfie. Nah LOL

If you traveled, where did you go? Didn't travel anywhere. I mean, I lived in Jersey City with my sister for the summer and commuted to NYC for work, but I don't think that counts as traveling.

Which fashion trends did you love? LOL I don't really pay attention to fashion trends I just wear whatever I want

Which fashion trends did you hate? ^^

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? Hm... Well I've had this since my first year at school, but I really love my strapless floral romper. Honestly, every time I wore that romper I just had a good day. I think my maroon sweater with a bunch of cutouts in it comes as a close second, though I didn't wear it as frequently as I would've liked.

What song sums up this year for you? This is probably really cliche, but definitely thank u next by Ariana.

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? Hmm.. I don't actually know of any good albums that came out this year. But I know that I've been listening heavily to the Them Crooked Vultures album this year (even though it's hella old LOL).

What was your favorite movie of the year? I definitely think the most influential one was Infinity War.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? I don't think any actors or actresses did, but I definitely started paying a lot of attention to Ariana! Before this year I honestly just thought she was some pop artist who flipped her ponytail around in her videos. But she was so strong and outspoken this year, and I found out about a lot of the rough things that happened to her in the last 1-2 years. I developed a lot of respect for her and her music, and she's one of my favorite celebrities now!

Favorite new TV show? I don't really watch much TV anymore...

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? LOL I don't really care about that stuff anymore

What food did you try for the first time? Hella expensive food in NYC. I went to a bunch of work dinners this summer and I think 2018 was the first time I ate food that expensive.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? I finally decided where I was going with my life. Until now my career has always been somewhat of a question mark. But after accepting a junior year internship in Marketing, I'm pretty certain that I'm going into Marketing (more specifically, Brand Strategy) as a career.

Did you vote? ..... no pls dont hate me

Did you move? Well I'm living in a different part of my college campus. And I moved into my sister's apartment for about 2 months. But no permanent moves.

Did you get a job? I did! I got my first internship.

Did you get a pet? Nah LOL but my friends did. They adopted a hamster and I'm still convinced that it's fucked up in the head... it bites everyone and keeps trying to escape.

Do you regret not doing anything? There was a time during the year that I really regretted not majoring in Journalism when I started college. But now I'm kind of over that. I also regret not starting my job search sooner, and not being pickier with the companies I applied to.

Do you regret doing something? I kind of regret committing too early to my summer internship since I can do better. But after I got rejected from a company that I really thought I was going to get an offer from, I don't think it was so bad. Honestly, out of all the companies I've heard from, the internship I picked pays the most and it gives me the most on-the-job experience. No matter what my sister tells me, I still think that those things will have more value than the name I put on my resume.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? I got cheated on this year, and it messed me up for months.

Did you fall in love? I was already in love when the year started.

Did you fall out of love? I don't think I completely fell out of love. I still think about my ex at least once a day, and I haven't forgotten about him. But I'm definitely not in love like I was in the beginning of this year.

Did you start a new relationship? LOL well I dated a bunch of different guys. I actually almost got into a relationship twice. But I never started a real relationship.

Did you go through a break up? Yes. I went through my first breakup.

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? I don't think I met anyone particularly important to me this year. I think that the people who were already in my life became more important to me over the course of the year.

What was the best moment of the year for you? I definitely think I had the most fun during those little house parties we did in our suite last year. Nobody cared about anything except having a good time together. It was an innocent time, and I don't think I'm going to have such a carefree time in college again.

What was the worst? LOL definitely finding out that I was cheated on.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? I became very dependent on my friends and my ex during my second year of college. I used to be extremely independent and while I liked having emotional support when I made decisions, I didn't need it by any means. But by my second year of school, I couldn't do anything without my friends or my ex by my side; I couldn't even go to the dining hall by myself! I actually needed them so much that I had several terrible anxiety attacks when I thought about being without them. But because of the way my life worked out, I was distanced from my friends and from my ex. I learned how to do things by myself; I kind of re-learned that I don't need anyone but me. I actually am the best version of myself when I'm self-reliant and I don't have anyone else dragging me down!

What do you wish for others for the coming year? I just want everyone that I care about to be healthy, happy, and successful!

[surveyyyys]

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?

"Are vets included in insurance? No right?" LOL. To my sister

B) What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom?

My friend told me that he had another exam in 20 minutes. He did really terribly on an exam we had in a class together, so I offered to buy him a donut. But he didn't have time.

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?

Typically around 9:30am.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?

Yeah, honestly, any girl should be these days.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?

I usually take a shower.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?

I think it was in bed with this guy I was dating for around 2 months. I broke it off with him recently though; he was good to me, but he wasn't right for me.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?

Nah. I'm a good noodle

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?

I'm not actually working anywhere right now, but I'm going back to my job at school next semester. I don't love that job since it makes me feel unqualified (everyone else has photo/video/design/production experience and I don't). But it pays!

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?

LOL I tend to seek them out even when they aren't there.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?

Yeah, pretty recently. I'm staying away from drugs because my internship might drug test me in the coming months.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?

Nope, I don't think I'll meet anyone that influential in my life.

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?

Yeah a bunch of times LOL

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.

When a guy says "yes ma'am" LOL

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?

Towards the middle of October. The feeling wasn't really mutual at the time... I was just dating him for fun but he seemed to want more. I tried to force something on my end that wasn't there, but I ended up leaving since it didn't feel right.

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?

I found this old picture of myself from back in freshman year where I had actual muscles (I'm not kidding, my triceps were hella defined). I want to get to that level again.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?

When I was talking to my friend about another former friend that she still hangs out with. I have bad experiences with being honest about my dislike for other people's friends.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?

Not usually, but I never reject them!

R) Are you a very affectionate person?

I can be.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?

LOL no. I don't smoke so I don't need to

T) What are you looking forward to?

A fresh start next semester.

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?

I don't have any tattoos right now, but I'm getting one soon!

V) Are you mentally strong?

I'm not the strongest person out there. But I definitely am stronger than a lot of others.

W) Are you physically strong?

LOL definitely not

X) Do you think you’re a good person?

Not really actually. To some people I am.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.

I want it to be more social. I spend a lot of my time alone or with people I don't really care about, and not by choice. I also wish I could have a better internship next summer.

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?

I don't usually eat breakfast. Does coffee count?

[surveyyyys]

what did you learn about yourself this year?

I learned that I only do well when I'm fighting some kind of battle. I need to be outside my comfort zone to thrive, and when I'm actually comfortable in my surroundings, I start to become dissatisfied and anxious.

During the first half of 2018, I was extremely comforable; I was surrounded by friends, I never really needed to work hard in school, and I had a stable relationship with a boy I'd known for a long time. During the second half of 2018, I was separated from my friends, I broke up with the boy, I was thrown into a completely new environment, and my career/future was a question mark for a long time. Though I look back fondly on the comfort of my second year in college, I definitely grew so much more during the second half of 2018. I feel prouder of who I am now than I did back then. And because I saw the positive changes in my life resulting from being in ambiguous or tough situations, I'm more inclined to put myself willingly in more of those situations in the future in an effort to grow and be the best person that I can be!

best moment of the year?

Honestly, any one of those little parties we threw in our suite last year that didn't end in crying/throwing up. Those were a fun time.

worst moment of the year?

Finding out my ex was cheating on me... through a coworker. At work.

what was the biggest change you experienced this year?

There were a whole bunch! There was the culture shock of going from a lively college lifestyle to working a 9-5 corporate job in NYC over the summer. I went from being in a committed relationship for 2 years to being aggressively single and having a date with a different guy every day of the week. I also went from living in an apartment with all of my friends to being separated from all of them, and needing to take 2 buses anytime I wanted to see them (or anyone for that matter).

best song of the year?

Well I don't really listen to top 40 music, so I'm not really sure what the best song that came out this year was. So I'm going to interpret this as the best song that I've been listening to this year: I would say "Hurricane" by 76th Street. I don't know why, but I think that song is going to stick with me for a while.

best album of the year?

Same interpretation -- definitely Them Crooked Vultures. I actually found out about this album a long time ago from a friend in Summer 2017. But I've been listening to it a lot more this year, and it got me through some anxious times.

what’s one thing that happened this year that you want to change?

I spent a lot of my time in 2018 focused on what I can do to attract male attention and be a good girlfriend for my boy. Very recently I started to realize that I let boys take up so much of my head space, and I need to channel that love and energy back into myself. I stopped dating recently, and I want to focus on myself for a while. That means going to the gym, eating healthier, spending more time with friends, and filling my time with activities that benefit me and my future (which I already do, but I want to do that to a greater degree). I want to forget my relationship status and be a whole person on my own.

best book/book series of the year?

I haven't really read at all this year...

best television series?

Wow I really didn't watch much TV either!

how was your love life this year?

LOL. I think I already covered that in the last few questions.

what made you cry the most this year?

You'd think it was my breakup, but I actually spent more time crying during sophomore year when I was still in my relationship than I did in junior year. I actually cried the most because I didn't know where my life was going. I felt like I was stagnating and "on the wrong timeline." I later sorted that out though, and now I do know where my life is going! My future looks a lot brighter, and I don't think I need to cry as much about my career anymore.

biggest regret of the year?

Not majoring in journalism off the bat when I joined college. If I had pursued journalism seriously, my life would have been very different.

best movie of the year?

Legally Blonde (I know it came out in 2004, but it held a special significance to me this year).

favourite place you travelled this year?

Didn't really travel at all. Does NYC count?

did you make any new friends?

I did! None of them were particularly close friends, but I did meet some new people whose company I enjoy!

did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

LOL I didn't learn much about my sexuality, but I did learn a lot about sex!

what are some hobbies that you developed?

I somehow turned dating into my only recreational activity for 5 months, which I recently realized is extremely unhealthy. I think in 2019, I'm going to focus on developing some ACTUAL hobbies.

what surprised you the most this year?

How easy it is to walk away from something that you were initially so terrified to lose.

do you look different from the beginning of the year?

LOL. I think I lost some more weight, and I'm better at my makeup now. But I don't think I look terribly different.

how did this year treat you in general?

It was tougher than the last couple years, but by no means one of the toughest in my life. I've been through a lot worse... this is just a slight cyclical downturn among the relatively level ups and downs in my young adult life.

what message would you give yourself at the beginning of the year?

You are a lot stronger than you believe you are right now, and you will come to realize that over the course of the next year. Also, stop spending so much time thinking about the future. Enjoy the comfort of the present moment, because before you know it, everything you think you know about yourself and your surroundings is going to change.

has your fashion style changed this year?

I think it's gotten classier. I still keep a lot of the same elements of my style that I did in the past, but it's just more refined and put together.

one of the best meals you’ve had this year?

Any one of the work dinners I had with vendors out in NYC! They definitely weren't the most delicious, but they were the most classy and expensive!

who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

Everyone involved in my internship over the summer (that includes my bosses and all my coworkers).  

what’s one thing that you hope will continue next year?

The mindset that I have about success and happiness right now.

[surveyyyys]

aaaaa

1. Do you like how you look or would you change yourself?

I have a lot of freckles on my legs though, and I’m trying to get rid of those. But other than that, I’m pretty content with the way I am. 

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? 

I am actually 18. But I don’t think I would date someone who just turned 18... I prefer people who are older than me. 

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? 

Girls! I understand how girls work, and boys can make me uncomfortable a lot.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do sometimes!  

5. Can you commit to one person? 

I already have! I’d consider myself fairly monogamous.

6. How do you look right now? 

I look decent for lounging around the house, since I just got my face, arms, and legs waxed. But I wouldn’t go out like this.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? 

An old Aeropostale T shirt I got in the 7th grade, and a pair of pajama pants my mom bought from India.

8. How often do you listen to music? 

Not as often as I used to. Mostly whenever I’m going anywhere (by car, bus, train, etc.)

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? 

Neither... I wear leggings.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically? 

Probably when I start working and I have that culture shock. But that’s not really a dramatic change... it’s something everyone goes through. So I don’t think so.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? 

I’m a very social person. I don’t like spending too much time alone.

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? 

I would cry because I invested way too much time in our relationship LOL

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings? 

Definitely not.

14. Can you drive a stick shift? 

No... I actually don’t know what that means and I’m a little afraid to ask.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? 

If they’re relevant people that have an influence on my life, yes. If they’re randos or people from my past, I don’t.

16. Are you going out of town soon? 

Actually yes! I’ll be staying with my sister in the city.

17. When was the last time you cried? 

Today actually! It was only a few tears when I was feeling anxious though.

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? 

Yes LOL back in 8th grade. I’m not at all surprised today though, because he was the first guy I met that fit into my standard type. 

19. If you could change your eye color, would you? 

Yea, I’d probably make them green or hazel or something.

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow? 

I have to go to some stupid party at my uncle’s house. I also have to move into my sister’s apartment.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. 

It’s the last free day before I have to worry about starting work. Also I’ve been weirdly anxious all day today.

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the same sex? 

Nah.

23. Are you nice to everyone? 

LOL I’m nice to people who are nice to me

24. What are you sitting on right now? 

My bed

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I already have LOL   

26. Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? 

Probably.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? 

My boyfriend, as usual

28. Do you get a lot of colds? 

Yes, especially in the winter

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? 

LOL no thank god

30. Does anyone hate you? 

Probably. I don’t think they actively hate me, but I’m sure that I annoy some people, or they had problems with me in the past

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? 

Yes! The boy

32. Do you like watching scary movies? 

LOL no thanks

33. Are you a jealous person? 

Very much so

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 

Either junior or senior year of high school

35. Did you have a dream last night? 

I don’t remember it if I did

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? 

I don’t think so.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? 

I definitely won’t be.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? 

Yes! He better have feelings LOL

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? 

I think so.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? 

I don’t even remember much about yesterday LOL. I don’t think it was a good or bad day.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? 

Yes.

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? 

Definitely not. My life sucked two years ago.

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? 

Probably cuddling

44. What’s the best part about school? If you don’t go to school, work?

I get to live life on my own terms. I can control my schedule and I can control what I want to do each day. I live based on everyone else’s agendas when I’m at home. Also, I can be productive and social when I’m at school. At home I’m basically on lockdown.

45. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? 

Yes, I have a boyfriend.

46. If yes to the question above, what is something in common that your boyfriend/girlfriend has with your exes? 

I don’t have any exes. 

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? 

All the time!

48. Were you single over the last summer? 

Nope, same boyfriend then too.

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now? 

I should be helping my mom make dinner.

50. Don’t tell me lies, are you currently avoiding anything or someone atm?

Nah not right now.

[surveyyyys]

aaaa

You’re kind of a loner You are a Leo You are a Taurus You actually like the way you look usually You’re afraid to put your head underwater You almost drowned once You have an older brother Your brother is somewhat famous You have a cat You have a dog You have a hamster You’re extremely shy You hate all sports You don’t have a best friend these days You drink soda at least once a day You’ve been in a relationship for 4+ years You’re in love You’ve kissed eight people in your lifetime You’ve had six boyfriends/girlfriends in your lifetime You watch a lot of shows on Netflix You only read fiction/fantasy books You’re addicted to the Sims 3 You have at least two Sims expansions You also love music games like Rocksmith, Rock Band, and Singstar You actually enjoy playing games like WoW, LoL, and Final Fantasy Online You don’t live with your parents You love Johnny Depp You’ve never asked anyone out Everyone you’ve dated has been older than you You can touch your nose with your tongue You can kick the back of your head Your favorite foods are Italian and Greek food You also love Indian food lately You’ve been to other countries You’ve been on another continent You have a very busy schedule all the time You rarely get to hangout with people You’re in a band You’ve hungout with bands before You love concerts You love alternative rock You also love electronic/dubstep You’ve been driving for at least a year You have your own car Your house is always messy You watch anime every now and then Your favorite TV show is Vampire Diaries You also love American Horror Story and The Walking Dead You’re in college You’re not a teenager anymore You are good at drawing You procrastinate a lot You’re afraid of throwing up You’ve never did anything self-destructive Your biggest fear is death You’re not a picky eater at all You love food You love sleep You’re not really into partying You hate alcohol You rarely drink alcohol You drink alcohol all the time You dye your hair an unnatural color You have green eyes You wear makeup daily You absolutely love having new clothes You wear glasses occasionally You never wear contacts You had braces when you were younger You have been/are in a relationship with a Capricorn You have been/are in a relationship with a Pisces Your grades aren’t as good as you’d like them to be You are a music major You used to love myspace You now love facebook, and go on it everyday You also love Instagram and use that everyday You have a Tumblr You hate Twitter and find it pointless You’ve had all your wisdom teeth pulled Your parent has cancer You know someone who has cancer Your other parent is bipolar Your parents are still together, but fight a lot You’ve moved across the country You live in the USA You live near the west coast You live near the east coast You live in the midwest You have a job You love your job You hate your job You’re a cashier/barista You work in retail You’re a waiter/waitress You’d like to find a new/better job You’re afraid to kiss your significant other in front of your parents You’re afraid to tell others that you have a significant other for reasons You love Halloween and dressing up You take quite a few selfies You have nor piercings or tattoos You really want tattoos You want to get married in the next five years Your want to have kids in the next ten years You have no intention of wanting kids but wouldn’t mind company Your consider your significant other’s family to be your family Your significant other can sometimes get on your nerves but you still like/love them anyway Your significant other is someone who understands you Your significant other is a smoker You have a very slight accent You’re very pale You’re of Russian descent You are Jewish You’re a really good singer You play piano You play flute You can’t dance You’ve never slow danced Your high school prom sucked You’re really good at spelling You’re pretty bad at math You hate chemistry You’re pretty good with languages You can speak 3+ languages, but just one fluently You are pro-choice You want gay marriage legalized You’re straight You want marijuana legalized in all states You wish alcohol was illegal You wish you had bigger boobs You’re very petite You’re average You’re overweight You rather not disclose what you are You are 5’5” You weigh 105 pounds or less You live with your significant other You live in an apartment Your significant other makes much more money than you You believe in God You pray daily Your first kiss was terrible You smoke weed sometimes You’ve smoked hookah before You’ve never smoked a cigarette and don’t plan to You’ve never done any real drugs and don’t plan to You love romantic comedies You love musicals You’ve been in musicals You only have two living grandparents You also have a step-grandparent You have six first cousins You can never seem to find matching socks You love chocolate You try to be optimistic You get depressed sometimes You’re really self-conscious You’ve dated people before that you haven’t even liked You’ve had 2+ serious relationships You’ve had sex with two people in your lifetime Your hair won’t seem to grow anymore You straighten your hair too much Your nails are always shorter than you’d like You’ve been to both Disneyland and Disneyworld You’ve been to Universal Studios You’ve been to the Harry Potter World You never get super drunk You love wearing studs You love wearing lace You love wearing animal prints Your favorite colors are aqua, purple, and black You’re not a virgin